We’ve covered topless scenes, bikini scenes, and even pigtails, so the next logical step in our devolution toward becoming a softcore porn site is the 29 greatest thong scenes in cinema history. Inspired by Natalie Portman‘s upcoming thong scene in Your Highness, we spent hours combing the Internet in order to bring you the best of the best in thong-related cinema. This was no easy task, and came at great personal expense. As a result of compiling this list, I’ve been desensitized to the point where my penis didn’t even budge while watching the three-way scene from Wild Things. I hope you’re happy. Enjoy the thongs.

(If like thongs, you’ll love our twitter account. Follow us @screenjunkies)

Note: We included one-piece bathing suits that floss in the back. If you don’t like it, write your friggen congressman.

Melanie Griffith – Fear City (1984)

There was a time where Melanie Griffith in a thong was something people would pay to see. That time was 1984, and it was every bit as chilling as Owell’s dystopian tale.

Click here for the full video (NSFW).

Linda Kozlowski – Crocodile Dundee (1986)

Remember when Australian crap was all the rage? If not, you were probably born after 1990. There’s no shame in that, but you did miss out on same great thong scenes. But you also missed out on hyper-color shirts, so I guess you take the good with the bad.

Goldie Hawn – Overboard (1987)

If you’ve ever wondered where Kate Hudson gets her good looks, look no further than Goldie Hawn in this scene from Overboard. I’d make a joke about those stupid glasses, but chances are, you didn’t even notice she was wearing them.

Kelly Lynch – Cocktail (1988)

Kelly Lynch looks great in this thong scene from the Tom Crusie classic, Cocktail. But I’ll always remember her as Patrick Swayze‘s girl in Roadhouse. Rest in peace, Dalton.

Eloise Broady – Weekend at Bernies (1989)

I’d never heard of Eloise Broad until I looked her name up today, but her performance in Weekend at Bernie’s has stuck with me for over 20 years. Now that’s what I call great acting. Please note that I didn’t make a joke about her ass getting a dead man aroused. Even though it was perfect for the film, I took the high road.

Nicolette Scorsese – Christmas Vacation (1989)

You don’t actually see the thong in this Chevy Chase holiday comedy, but we had to include it. Screw you if you don’t like it. It’s a god damn classic.

Loryn Locklin – Taking Care of Business (1990)

If you actually want to watch this film, you’ll have to deal with 120 minutes of Jim Beliushi. Luckily, the author of this Youtube video has edited out “the Belush,” leaving only the good parts (the “good parts” being Loryn Locklin’s ass).

Katherine Heigl – My Father the Hero (1994)

If you watched the clip above and liked it, you are a pedophile. That is all.

Jamie Lee Curtis – True Lies (1994)

I heard a rumor about Jamie Lee Curtis. Apparently, before she was selling yogurt that makes you shit, she used to be hot.

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