Screen Junkies » theaters http://www.screenjunkies.com Movie Reviews & TV Show Reviews Mon, 13 Oct 2014 20:17:35 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Dork Out Hard By Buying Your ‘Hunger Games’ And ‘Dark Knight’ Tickets Months Early http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/dork-out-hard-by-buying-your-hunger-games-and-dark-knight-tickets-months-early/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/dork-out-hard-by-buying-your-hunger-games-and-dark-knight-tickets-months-early/#comments Tue, 10 Jan 2012 14:00:55 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=241967 The only downside is that if your pregnant wife gives birth those days, you'll have a very unpleasant decision to make.

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Sure you’ll be ahead of the curve by months and months and months, but if you’re just now getting your Dark Knight Rises tickets, then you’re a month or so behind, as tickets have been on sale since October.

The Hunger Games tickets go on sale Feb 22nd, 74 days before the 74th Annual Hunger Games. If you’re the type of person that is buying Hunger Games tickets that early, that fun little coincidence is exactly the type of thing that should get your motor runnin’.

I recommend that everyone buy their tickets as soon as possible, because the more people that buy tickets seven months out for a movie, the more hilarious it will be when the movie release date is pushed up one week or an asteroid hits Earth, ensuring that absolutely no one will delight when Katniss gets completely made over and looks totally beautiful on the eve of the games.

Oh my God! I’m SO excited for The Hunger Games! I wish it came out tomorrow!

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6 Theater Snacks That Should Have Died Before Dippin’ Dots http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/6-theater-snacks-that-should-have-died-before-dippin%e2%80%99-dots/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/6-theater-snacks-that-should-have-died-before-dippin%e2%80%99-dots/#comments Fri, 04 Nov 2011 23:32:03 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=235236 Unless they start selling large chunks of raw pumpkin, movie theater concession stands will never have my business.

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It was revealed today that Dippin Dots, the ice cream of the future, may very well become a novelty of the past. The company just filed for chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. I find this odd because I remember Dippin’ Dots when I was like 13 years old. I’m now 31. It took them 18 years to become insolvent? That’s amazing. I can’t imagine Dippin’ Dots were getting more popular during that time. I guess the owner was slowly selling his organs to cover operational costs, and his Guatemalan physician finally said “No mas. Va a morir, Senor Deepeen Dot!”

Well, I will admit that their demise is overdue, but it boggles the mind that they went belly up before so many other craptacular theatertreats.” When you’re paying roughly the same for theater snacks by the ounce as you are for gold bullion, you should never be let down, but these six offenders do it again and again, no matter how many times I yell at them.

That’s right. I yell at my candy.

Sno-Caps

As best I can tell, a Sno-Cap is a chocolate chip covered with microsized sprinkles. That’s just two toppings put together. That’s not a snack. That’s bullshit.

My diligent research has just informed me that the little things covering the chocolate chips are called nonpareils. “Nonpareil” means “unequaled,” so I can only assume that these little white balls are called “nonpareils” because they are unequaled in their awfulness.

Also, the chocolate is semi-sweet. I swear to God. They don’t even use milk chocolate?

This country’s going to hell.

Dots (Non-Dippin’)

Dots are made by Tootsie Roll, and their only use is fusing together the eater’s upper and lower molars for five minutes at a time. They have no discernible taste, their texture is dangerously sticky, and they cost a lot of money. This candy is worse than Dippin’ Dots and should have gone out of business before my grandfather was born.

Would the person who still buys Dots please stop? I feel like it’s just one Monty Burns-type character who is keeping them in circulation just to piss people off.

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