But she doesn’t. I can’t say for certain how she responds to her own fart because I refuse to watch the video a second time, but she owns up to it and tries to move on. Which is the least classy thing you can ever do. Ever. Here’s a ranking of how much I would like to see The View women fart:

1: Barbara Walters (don’t get me wrong, I’m not looking forward to it or anything, but this is the most excusable.)

2. Elisabeth Hasselbeck (hot girls can get away with a little more)

3. Sherri Shepherd (I don’t know who this is, but she can’t be as bad as…)

4. Tie Whoopi Goldberg/Joy Behar (just disgusting)

I’m sorry we ruined your holidays.

Earlier today, it was reported that journalist Anderson Cooper was attacked by an angry Egyptian mob, and repeatedly punched in his head. Like millions of others, I was outraged by the entire event. What right did those Egyptians have to attack him, especially when there are so many other journalists worthy of a good punch to the head. Here are 9 examples.

9. Nancy Grace

Just look at this picture. Do you really need me to elaborate on why she needs a punch?

8. Glenn Beck

You can sit all day and argue about his political beliefs, but any grown man who makes it a habit to go on on national television and cry like a bitch deserves a punch. I’m a pussy, but at least I cry in private.

7. Keith Olbermann

Olbermann likes to blame the right wing for fostering a climate of political intolerance. His allegations might hold a little more weight if they weren’t coming from a man famous for his “Worst Person in the World” segments. Plus, I just read this attack article describing him as an asshole. It’s from the NY Post, so it’s probably garbage. But even so, I want to believe.

6. Natasha Curry

I’m not sure if it’s the phony tone in her voice, or the garbage she’s made to read, but Natasha Curry sounds like bad teacher talking down to a group of special-ed students.

5. Terry Moran

Back in 2007, when three Duke Lacrosse players were falsely accused of raping a stripper, Terry Moran said that people shouldn’t feel too sorry for them because they were white rich kids. I’m a white rich kid! I like strippers! That could have been me! F*ck you, Terry! It’s punchy time!

4. Bill O’Reilly

I don’t begrudge anyone for believing in god, so long as they aren’t using it as an excuse to blow up a crowded bus or take away my sweet, sweet pornography. But listening to this moron ramble on will make an atheist out of anyone. It’s one step up from Insane Clown Posse. Magnets, how do they work?

3. Matt Drudge

I give Drudge credit. Sometimes he goes after stories that the mainstream media is too afraid to cover. But the rest of the time, he’s going after stories that the mainstream media is too smart to cover. Tell us more about pet hoarding, Matt!

2. Billy Bush, Mario Lopez, Mary Hart, etc.

Although I certainly hesitate to call any of these assholes journalists, I would sure as hell love to see them all get beaten by an angry mob, so I’ve included them on the list.

1. Barbara Walters

I don’t want someone to be attacked just because they have a shrill, annoying voice and a speech impediment. But if that same someone was responsible for creating “The View,” then it’s punching time. Although they aren’t technically journalists, getting a few swings in at the rest of the cast is also encouraged.