Please pour a sip out for us as we eulogize the most short-lived shows of 2011.

Charlie’s Angels

Pretty hard to screw up Minka Kelly running around in little outifts, but ABC somehow did it. This unnecessary 300th retread of classic television series starred Kelly, Rachael Taylor, and Annie Ilonzeh. It, of course, told the story of crime-fighters who dress like the Fantanas and solve mysteries for an elusive boss. But in a world with free Internet porn, audiences weren’t interested in watching the stars rub lotion into each other and almost make-out while investigating shady gangsters.

The Playboy Club

Again, it’s pretty hard to screw up Amber Heard running around in little outfits, but NBC somehow did it. Widely panned by jerks who hate boobs, this “Mad Man rip-off” was cancelled after three episodes. The consensus is that the show would have worked much better on a different network. Perhaps on Starz or Showtime were the actresses are contractually obligated to get railed on camera.

A word from Jenna: ”I believe [nudity in films and television] is overused. I think there are a few times in movies and maybe a few TV shows, where scenes do call for it and there is a certain sense of realism. But you can tell when a girl didn’t want to show nudity, and it’s pretty obvious.”

In their explanation, the head of the CEO of KSL-TV, Mark Willes said, “Everyone is clear what it stands for. We want to be sure everyone is clear what the KSL brand stands for, which is completely inconsistent with the Playboy brand.” Well, a lot of other affiliates would claim that decomposing bodies in dumpsters isn’t exactly consistent with their brand, but they air “CSI” because, you know, it’s fiction.

NBC entertainment chairman Bob Greenblatt tried to assuage the fears of affiliates at upfronts, by promising the show was “tame compared to what you’d see on’Jersey Shore‘,” and in doing so, probably turned off everyone else in the nation that doesn’t live in Utah.

“The Playboy Club” will air at 10 PM EST starting in September. Except in Salt Lake City, where it will air at never.

Now that you’ve gotten comedy, the lowest form of entertainment, out of the way – it’s time for the dramas. Below we have clips for shows like “Prime Suspect,” “The Playboy Club,” the Inception-inspired “Awake,” and more.

There you have it! If you start them now, you might be able to finish before Monday morning.

“The Playboy Club” will put on rabbit ears and pretend-flirt with you. Chad Hodge’s series stars Eddie Cibrian and Amber Heard, and will explore the sexy world of 1960s Playboy bunnies. Va-va-voom or va-va-blatant”Mad Men“-rip-off? We’ll soon find out.

Is the Big Bag Wolf bad enough to mess with the police? “Grimm” is a cop drama that takes place in a world where fairy tale characters are real. This sounds an awful lot like the graphic novel series Fables, so if you like that premise, definitely read Fables, so you can complain about how much better Fables is.

Finally, I’ve been lying awake at night for years wondering when somebody would make a police procedural with a “Sliders” twist. Now it’s happening and I can finally sleep. “Awake” stars Jason Isaacs as a detective who has an accident, causing his life to split into two realities: one where his wife dies and his son lives, and the other where his wife lives but his son dies. He should just hop to the universe where the sky rains donuts. “Awake” is showrunner Wonder Woman” series was not picked up. David E. Kelley‘s invisible jet has been shot down. Hopefully, this will leave Adrianne Palicki free to wear sexier, less-outrage provoking outfits in the future. (EW)