Screen Junkies » The Oscars http://www.screenjunkies.com Movie Reviews & TV Show Reviews Wed, 06 Aug 2014 19:50:13 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Oscar Voters Supported ’12 Years A Slave’ Without Ever Seeing It http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/oscar-voters-supported-12-years-a-slave-without-ever-seeing-it/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/oscar-voters-supported-12-years-a-slave-without-ever-seeing-it/#comments Thu, 06 Mar 2014 18:21:42 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=259979 That's racist!

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Much like we all did with our Oscars Pool ballots, two voting members of the Academy have admitted to voting for 12 Years a Slave without having seen it. According to the LA Times, the two voters avoided watching the film because they feared “it would be upsetting. But they said they voted for it anyway because, given the film’s social relevance, they felt obligated to do so.”

Uh-oh. I’m feeling the need to reach into the ol’ GIF sack…

That’s pretty telling and points to a broken Oscars voting system that is in massive need of an overhaul. Also, it explains how Bad Grandpa lost to Dallas Buyers Club in the Best Makeup Category. You watch and try to tell that penis caught in the vending machine was fake!

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John Travolta Speaks Out About Idina Menzel, Correctly This Time http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/john-travolta-speaks-out-about-idina-menzel-correctly-this-time/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/john-travolta-speaks-out-about-idina-menzel-correctly-this-time/#comments Wed, 05 Mar 2014 17:59:24 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=259874 "Let it go." See what he did there?

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Not one to let Kim Novak steal the incoherent at the Oscars spotlight, John Travolta famously one-upped her by absolutely mangling his introduction of Idina Menzel by referring to the Frozen star as ‘Adele Dazeem’ (which totally sounds like a Battlefield Earth character). Now that we’ve all had our fun with it, Ol’ Marblemouth has spoken out about the flub. This time in English.

“I’ve been beating myself up all day. Then I thought … what would Idina Menzel say, She’d say, Let it go, let it go! Idina is incredibly talented and I am so happy Frozen took home two Oscars Sunday night!”

You heard it here first. For StruanJerkins.cam, this is Wiktor Johnzon reporting. (Today)

 

 

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‘Alone Yet Not Alone’ Gets Its Oscar Nomination Pulled http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/alone-yet-not-alone-gets-its-oscar-nomination-pulled/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/alone-yet-not-alone-gets-its-oscar-nomination-pulled/#comments Thu, 30 Jan 2014 17:59:39 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=259012 Does Jay-Z really need another award nomination?

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That Oscar nominee that had everybody like, whoa, hey, what?, is no longer an Oscar nominee. Alone Yet Not Alone, the small faith-based film that ran in theaters for 21 days last fall, turned a lot of heads when its title track received an Oscar nomination for Best Original Song. The mystery was cleared up when it was revealed that the song’s composer Bruce Broughton emailed members of the Academy asking that they consider the song when making their nominations. The problem here, in the eyes of the Academy, is that Broughton is a former Academy governor and they feel that position “creates the appearance of an unfair advantage.”

Unfair advantage? Then why allow him to submit in the first place? I think the Academy’s issue is that Alone Yet Not Alone elicited votes without having to plaster a roundabout advertisement for the Oscars on billboards or in trade magazines. Nor does it help promote the telecast because by edging out famous musicians like Jay-Z and Lana Del Ray, there’s no commitment by those celebrities to attend or perform on the show. It’s all about ratings and good publicity. Which the Academy definitely cost themselves by rescinding this nomination. There is their worse move since hiring Brett Ratner. (EW)

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Academy Award NOM NOM NOMS http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/academy-award-nom-nom-noms/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/academy-award-nom-nom-noms/#comments Thu, 16 Jan 2014 16:37:25 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=258746 Is Hollywood's biggest night if you were in any way involved with 'American Hustle'.

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Thor went to bed at a decent hour last night so that he could wake up looking rested and not raspy-voiced while announcing the people who did a good job in movies released over the last few months. No real big surprises here if you’ve been following awards season. American Hustle and 12 Years a Slave lead the pack with eight and seven nominations respectively. Here’s hoping host Ellen DeGeneres fights the temptation to sing about seeing actresses’ boobs.

Best Picture

American Hustle
Nebraska
Captain Phillips
Dallas Buyers Club
Gravity
Her
Philomena
12 Years a Slave
The Wolf of Wall Street

Best Actor

Christian Bale, American Hustle
Bruce Dern, Nebraska
Leonardo DiCaprio, The Wolf of Wall Street
Chiwetel Ejiofor, 12 Years a Slave
Matthew McConaughey, Dallas Buyers Club

Best Actress

Amy Adams, American Hustle
Cate Blanchett, Blue Jasmine
Sandra Bullock, Gravity
Judi Dench, Philomena
Meryl Streep, August: Osage County

Best Supporting Actor

Barkhad Abdi, Captain Phillips
Bradley Cooper, American Hustle
Michael Fassbender, 12 Years a Slave
Jonah Hill, The Wolf of Wall Street
Jared Leto, Dallas Buyers Club

Best Supporting Actress

Sally Hawkins, Blue Jasmine
Jennifer Lawrence, American Hustle
Luipta Nyong’o, 12 Years a Slave
Julia Roberts, August: Osage County
June Squib, Nebraska

Best Director

David O. Russell, American Hustle
Alfonso Cuarón, Gravity
Alexander Payne, Nebraska
Steve McQueen, 12 Years a Slave
Martin Scorsese, The Wolf of Wall Street

Adapted Screenplay

Before Midnight
Captain Phillips
Philomena
12 Years a Slave
The Wolf of Wall Street

Original Screenplay

American Hustle
Blue Jasmine
Dallas Buyers Club
Her
Nebraska

Original Song

“Alone Yet Not Alone” from Alone Yet Not Alone, Bruce Broughton
“Happy” from Despicable Me 2, Pharrell Williams
“Let it Go” from Frozen, Kristen Anderson-Lopez and Robert Lopez
“The Moon Song” from Her, Karen O.
“Ordinary Love” from Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom, Paul Hewson, Dave Evans, Adam Clayton and Larry Mullen (U2)

Best Animated Feature Film

The Croods
Despicable Me 2
Ernest & Celestine
Frozen
The Wind Rises

Best Documentary Feature

The Act of Killing
Cutie and the Boxer
Dirty Wars
The Square
20 Feet from Stardom

Film Editing

American Hustle
Captain Phillips
Dallas Buyers Club
Gravity
12 Years a Slave

Foreign Language Film

The Broken Circle Breakdown
The Great Beauty
The Hunt
The Missing Picture
Omar

Short Film

Feral
Get a Horse!
Mr. Hublot
Possessions
Room on the Broom

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Quvenzhané Wallis Cast As ‘Annie’ And Is Not A ‘C-Word’ Despite What You May Have Read http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/quvenzhane-wallis-cast-as-annie-and-is-not-a-c-word-despite-what-you-may-have-read/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/quvenzhane-wallis-cast-as-annie-and-is-not-a-c-word-despite-what-you-may-have-read/#comments Mon, 25 Feb 2013 22:52:54 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=253739 Not bad for the youngest loser in Oscars history.

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Pretty big weekend for Quvenzhané Wallis, the adorable 9-year old star of Beasts of the Southern Wild. Not only did she whiff out so hard by not winning an Oscar, but the youngest loser in Oscar history was also cast in the Will Smith/Jay-Z produced remake of Annie. She’ll replace the departing Willow Smith who decided to exit because she just wants to focus on being a kid. Saw that one coming. Nikki Finke has the corner nabbed on TOLDJA!, so I’m just going to go with our tried-and-true CALLED DAT SH*T!

In other Quvenzhané Wallis news, America’s Finest News Source, The Onion has issued an apology to the actress for a tasteless comment they made about her on Twitter during last night’s Oscars telecast. The post was deleted an hour after posting once editors at The Onion realized you can’t go around calling a 9-year old child the c-word unless they are fictional. Or if you are Kurt Sutter.

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The Grouchies Awards 2013! http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/the-grouchies-awards-2013/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/the-grouchies-awards-2013/#comments Mon, 25 Feb 2013 16:45:20 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=video&p=253718 We didn't enjoy the Oscars but we had A LOT of fun picking out the weirdest moments.

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Last night’s Big Movie Awards were given… and it was easily the strangest Oscars telecast in years. Like, even stranger than a rambling Kirk Douglas or James Franco in drag.

So we stayed up late to provide you this: The First Annual GROUCHIES AWARDS!! Where we reward the people who were trying to win awards!

It was either this or try to sneak into the Vanity Fair after-party dressed as waiters.

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Jessica Chastain Ain’t Got No Beef With Jennifer Lawrence http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/jessica-chastain-aint-got-no-beef-with-jennifer-lawrence/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/jessica-chastain-aint-got-no-beef-with-jennifer-lawrence/#comments Mon, 11 Feb 2013 19:14:15 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=253466 They should hug it out. And smell each other's hair a little bit.

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Rumors have been floating around about an Oscar race rivalry between Jessica Chastain and Jennifer Lawrence since Lawrence made jokes about Chastain when hosting SNL. No matter how adorable it would be to see the young actresses take swipes at one another, these are merely rumors. Chastain herself has heard the bogus reports and has eloquently put them to bed via her Facebook page:

I find it very sad that media makes up bogus stories about women fighting in this industry. Filming The Help was the most amazing experience and yet, that is the film Im most asked about in regards to “fighting on set”. Why do we support the myth that women are competitive and cannot get along?

I think all of the actresses recognized this year have given incredible performances. But more important, they’ve all shown themselves to be filled with generosity and kindness. I’ve done two photo shoots with Jennifer Lawrence over the years and have found her to be utterly charming and a great talent. I’ve told her how beautiful her film work is.

Please don’t allow the media to perpetuate the myth that women arent supportive of each other. Everytime an actress is celebrated for her great work, I cheer. For the more brilliant their performance, the more the audience demands stories about women. With support and encouragement, we help to inspire this industry to create opportunities for women. And as we all know: a great year for women in film, is just a great year for film xxjes

Amy Adams, on the other hand, had better watch her back.

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Joaquin Phoenix Returns To Pissing People Off http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/joaquin-phoenix-returns-to-pissing-people-off/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/joaquin-phoenix-returns-to-pissing-people-off/#comments Thu, 18 Oct 2012 15:47:05 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=251552 Take your Oscar noms and stuff it.

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The Master isn’t burning up the box office but it is garnering a lot of praise for Joaquin Phoenix, with many talking Oscar. However, Phoenix isn’t having that talk. In his usual firebrand fashion, he’s stated that the Academy Awaqrds are “total utter bullshit.” Well said!

Phoenix, who has avoided any press tour or politicking for The Master, now tells Interview magazine.

“Have you ever smoked a dog’s skeleton? Exhilarating.”

Oops. That’s actually not from Interview. That’s his outgoing voicemail. Here’s the actual quote.

“I’m just saying that I think it’s bullshit. I think it’s total, utter bullshit, and I don’t want to be a part of it. I don’t believe in it. It’s a carrot, but it’s the worst-tasting carrot I’ve ever tasted in my whole life. I don’t want this carrot. It’s totally subjective. Pitting people against each other…It’s the stupidest thing in the whole world,” he says. “It was one of the most uncomfortable periods of my life when Walk the Line was going through all the awards stuff and all that. I never want to have that experience again. I don’t know how to explain it—and it’s not like I’m in this place where I think I’m just above it—but I just don’t ever want to get comfortable with that part of things.”

Fair enough. Phoenix has been around long enough to play by his own rules and with two nominations under his belt, he has a suitable amount of perspective to inform his decision. Plus, once you have a guy poop on you, awards and superlatives really lose their luster. It changes a man.

 

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Masturbating Bear To Host The Oscars http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/masturbating-bear-to-host-the-oscars/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/masturbating-bear-to-host-the-oscars/#comments Mon, 01 Oct 2012 18:55:24 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=251227 Not THAT Masturbating Bear.

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Ted and Family Guy star/creator Seth MacFarlane has been tapped to host this year’s 85th Oscars telecast. Unless, of course, he pulls a Brett Ratner and says something offensive between now and February 24th.

The show’s producer, Craig Zagan, made the announcement earlier today, saying, “We are thrilled to have Seth MacFarlane host the Oscars. His performing skills blend perfectly with our ideas for making the show entertaining and fresh.” 

Of course, by “entertaining,” Zagan means “anti-semetic” and by “fresh,” he means abortion jokes. (Deadline)

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Jimmy Fallon Will Not Giggle His Way Through The Oscars http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/jimmy-fallon-will-not-giggle-his-way-through-the-oscars/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/jimmy-fallon-will-not-giggle-his-way-through-the-oscars/#comments Wed, 08 Aug 2012 16:54:37 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=250231 ABC is standing by their own Jimmy.

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ABC is standing by their Jimmy. The network has backed out of negotiations with Late Night with Jimmy Fallon host, Jimmy Fallon (Late Night with Jimmy Fallon) due to his direct rivalry with their own Jimmy Kimmel of Jimmy Kimmel Live fame. Either that or they saw those Capitol One ads that I want to punch.

So, the hunt for a non-Billy Crystal host continues. Just not Carson Daly. Okay, guys? Agreed? (The LA Times)

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Have Insomnia? Let These Oscar Award Revisions Lull You Gently To Sleep http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/have-insomnia-let-these-oscar-award-revisions-lull-you-gently-to-sleep/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/have-insomnia-let-these-oscar-award-revisions-lull-you-gently-to-sleep/#comments Thu, 28 Jun 2012 22:15:04 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=249439 They're boring. So boring they're INTERESTING? No.

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The letter-writing campaign to AMPAS worked! The Oscars now will admit TEN nominees in the category for Best Visual Effects! Further, we can “enjoy” these slight changes that will ever so gently tweak the perennial circle jerk that are the Academy Awards:

  • Foreign-language submissions needn’t be exhibited in 35mm in their country of origin! Pinch me! I’m dreaming!
  • A fourth songwriter on one track for Best Original Song category may be included in “rare and extraordinary circumstances.” I feel like I’m rolling on ecstasy!
  • Minorities and Republicans will not be allowed into the Dolby theater, but rather asked to watch the telecast across the street at the El Capitan Theater via a live closed circuit feed. Hmm. That just seems kind of racist and mean.
  • The Best Makeup Category will now be Best Makeup and Hairstyling. This news is so good I want to top it off with anonymous sex!
Now the bad news! We have to wait until February 24th to see this changes enacted at the next Academy Awards! I would honestly give up the last ten years of my life if those awards would just come a day sooner. I’m just going to sleep as much as I can until so that time may pass quickly.

 

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In Honor Of ‘The Dictator’: 7 More Outrageous Sacha Baron Cohen Stunts http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/in-honor-of-the-dictator-7-more-outrageous-sacha-baron-cohen-stunts/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/in-honor-of-the-dictator-7-more-outrageous-sacha-baron-cohen-stunts/#comments Mon, 27 Feb 2012 22:43:50 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=246276 He's such a butterfingers.

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After much staged back and forth, the Academy finally decided to allow Sacha Baron Cohen to show up dressed like that guy from Chromeo. Or, I guess he was actually in costume as his character from The Dictator. He naturally showed up in style with gorgeous women on his arm and a good friend in his hands… the ashes of deceased leader Kim Jong Il.
While discussing the evening with Ryan Seacrest, Baron Cohen’s Dictator took the opportunity to dump the ashes all over Ryan Seacrest.
Seacrest was visibly angry about the incident but should just relax. It could have gone a lot worse. As evidenced by these seven Sacha Baron Cohen stunts.

Eminem at VMAs


Sacha Baron Cohen is no stranger to commandeering awards shows for his public pranks. While promoting Bruno at the 2009 MTV Movie Awards, Cohen soared high above the crowd wearing angel wings and a thong. When his high-wire harness malfunctioned, he fell into the audience. Upside down, his balls landed directly on Slim Shady’s chin. The angry rapper pushed the comedian off of him and stormed out of the ampitheatre.

It was revealed to be a stunt devised with Eminem‘s full participation after Baron Cohen wasn’t later found in the trunk of a car at the bottom of Lake Michigan.

Bruno Interviews Ron Paul



In disguise as the flamboyant television host Bruno, Baron Cohen sat down for an interview with then Presidential candidate Ron Paul. Rather than discussing Paul‘s economic ideas, Bruno tries to seduce the Gentleman from Texas into making a sex tape with him. Even going so far as to drop trou in front of him. Paul storms out of the room shouting, “This guy is a queer!” At first Paul thought he was just acting European.

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Meryl Streep Wins Third Oscar For ‘The Iron Lady’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/meryl-streep-wins-third-oscar-for-the-iron-lady/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/meryl-streep-wins-third-oscar-for-the-iron-lady/#comments Mon, 27 Feb 2012 04:38:22 +0000 Jame Gumb http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=246207 Good for her.

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Meryl Streep has won the 2012 Academy Award for Best Actress. Her role as Margaret Thatcher beat out Glen Close, Viola Davis, Mara Rooney, and Michelle Williams.

In her speech, Streep, who appeared to be wearing a gaudy curtain, said that she could almost hear half of America groaning about her victory. I find that hard to believe. After three hours watching Billy Crystal, I imagine America was all groaned out.

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Jean Dujardin Wins Best Actor http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/jean-dujardin-wins-best-actor/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/jean-dujardin-wins-best-actor/#comments Mon, 27 Feb 2012 04:26:58 +0000 Jame Gumb http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=246201 Damn, really?

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Well I’ll be damned. Jean Dujardin has won the 2012 Academy Award for Best Actor. His performance in The Artist beat out Demian Bichir, George Clooney, Gary Oldman, and Brad Pitt. The fact that his role was almost entirely without dialogue makes the win even more impressive, or perhaps more frustrating if you weren’t a fan. Either way, I chalk the win up to Uggie‘s performance rather than Dujardin’s. I love that god damn dog.

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Michel Hazanavicius Wins Best Director Oscar For ‘The Artist’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/michel-hazanavicius-wins-best-director-oscar-for-the-artist/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/michel-hazanavicius-wins-best-director-oscar-for-the-artist/#comments Mon, 27 Feb 2012 03:59:34 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=246187 A major score for mimes everywhere.

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With the requisite Martin Scorsese butt-kissing out of the way, the Academy is now available to finally honor The Artist. Director Michel Hazanavicius secured the best directing award for bringing back to life the whimsy and scope of classic silent movies. Haters gonna hate so let’s hear it if you disagree with this decision on part of the Academy. But bear in mind, this is the man who coaxed an amazing and moving performance (both emotional and physical) from his star.

I refer naturally to Uggie.

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Christopher Plummer Is The Winner Of The 2012 Best Supporting Actor Oscar http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/christopher-plummer-is-the-winner-of-the-2012-best-supporting-actor-oscar/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/christopher-plummer-is-the-winner-of-the-2012-best-supporting-actor-oscar/#comments Mon, 27 Feb 2012 03:04:23 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=246178 Adjust your Oscars pool accordingly.

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Congratulations to Christopher Plummer for his Best Supporting Actor Oscar win. At the age of 82, he’s the oldest actor to ever win an Academy Award whereas Nick Nolte is the oldest-looking actor to ever be nominated. It’s called water, Nick. Drink it.

Plummer wins not for his impressive mustache, but for his role as Max von Sydow Ian McKellan a gay man who comes out to his adult son in Mike Mills’ Beginners.

Condolences to his fellow nominees, especially the red-faced Nick Nolte. He is clearly either angry, sad, embarrassed, or Nick Nolte.

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Octavia Spencer Is The Winner Of The 2012 Best Supporting Actress Oscar http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/is-the-winner-of-the-2012-best-supporting-actress-oscar/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/is-the-winner-of-the-2012-best-supporting-actress-oscar/#comments Mon, 27 Feb 2012 02:21:27 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=246168 Her own maid must be so proud.

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No need to check Albert Nobb’s Janet McTeer for a penis. In the end it was The Help’s Octavia Spencer who won the 2012 Oscar for Best Supporting Actress. She’s going to need a bigger mantle for this and the other ten awards she won for her role as a maid who shares her stories with a journalist writing about racism in the South.

This is her first Academy Award. And it’s about time! She was robbed for her work in Halloween II and something called Herpes Boy.

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7 Oscar Categories That Should Exist (And Who Would Win Them) http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/7-oscar-categories-that-should-exist-and-who-would-win-them/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/7-oscar-categories-that-should-exist-and-who-would-win-them/#comments Fri, 24 Feb 2012 21:00:53 +0000 Jared Jones http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=246095 The fact that Hobo with a Shotgun isn't going to win a single award is a god damn travesty.

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The Academy Awards have been running strong for 84 years now, and to put it nicely, they are in need of a few renovations. The fact that Billy Crystal will be hosting for the tenth time this year only furthers this theory. That’s not a knock on the ceremony, but simply an observation. The fact is, all things must change with the times; the Constitution did it, The Beatles did it, and Steve Jobs’ ghost forces us to do it by releasing a new goddamn Iproduct every goddamn month. The Oscars need a fresh breath of life, and what better way to mix things up then to add a few new categories? We’ve managed to do just that, and even gone as far as to predict who will win each, because we really are that damn good.

Best Performance by an Inanimate Object

Nominees
The book from The Help
Jonah Hill in Moneyball
The pills that killed Gwyneth Paltrow in Country Strong
The ring in Green Lantern
Channing Tatum in The Eagle

Winner: As was the case for his Best Supporting Actor “worthy” role in Moneyball, there would be a public backlash for Jonah Hill’s nomination in this category. Movie going audiences will claim that, just because Hill was fat to the point of immobility in the film does not qualify him as an inanimate object. In the end, it will be a pointless argument, as the gold statue will be given to Channing Tatum for his portrayal of the chariot in The Eagle. The above photo will be snapped of Tatum during his acceptance speech, which will consist mainly of Chewbacca-esque grunts and quotes from Old School.

Best Actor in the Worst Movie a.k.a The Michael Madsen Award

Nominees
Natalie Portman in No Strings Attached
Sir Anthony Hopkins in The Rite
Tom Hanks in Larry Crowne
Aaron Eckhart in Battle: Los Angeles
Jim Carrey in Mr. Popper’s Penguins

Winner: In a shocking twist, the award will be deemed a tie between the entire cast of New Year’s Eve with the exception of Ashton Kutcher. Sarah Jessica Parker will accept the award on behalf of the cast, at which point the viewing audiences across the nation will erupt into fits of rage and confusion as to why the presenters just allowed Warhorse to waltz off with an undeserved Oscar.

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10 Celebs Who Will Be Snubbed By The Oscar Death Montage http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/10-celebs-who-will-be-snubbed-by-the-oscar-death-montage/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/10-celebs-who-will-be-snubbed-by-the-oscar-death-montage/#comments Fri, 24 Feb 2012 18:45:35 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=245736 Gone and forgotten...

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This Sunday during the Oscars telecast, the Academy will no doubt pay tribute to screen legends Elizabeth Taylor, Peter Falk, Sidney Lumet, and Pete Poselthwait in their annual celebrity death montage. Inevitably, someone is always unfairly left off the list, which is not cool. In the past, stars like Corey Haim, Peter Graves, Farrah Fawcett, and Brad Renfro have been snubbed.

No one is certain of the requirements a performer needs to meet in honor to have thier rightful sip poured out on Hollywood’s biggest night. The criteria seems to lean toward actors and actresses who are likely to be discussed at a boring dinner party. Below are a list of talented actors, actresses, and performers who deserve their nods on the big night. Mostly likely they will be passed over for no good reason.

Patrice O’Neal

Though much more well-known in the field of stand up comedy, Patrice O’Neal also appeared in movies from time to time. Films like Furry Vengeance, In the Cut, Scary Movie 4, Head of State, and The 25th Hour were his most notable, not to mention his several television roles. It’s likely the Academy will leave him off the In Memoriam list due to the shakey quality of his films. And also because they’re dicks like that.

Heavy D

Heavy D’s chances of making the Oscars death montage are a toss up. A pioneer in hip-hop music, his crossover to the world of acting saw him star in recurring roles on shows like Living Single and Boston Public. For film, he appeared The Cider House Rules, Life, Step Up, and Tower Heist. He’s well-known enough to make the list, but maybe slightly too hip for inclusion. Whether he makes the list or not, we’ll all be bummed when reminded of his passing.

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9 Things You Should Watch Instead Of The Oscars http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/9-things-you-should-watch-instead-of-the-oscars/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/9-things-you-should-watch-instead-of-the-oscars/#comments Fri, 24 Feb 2012 16:11:42 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=245923 Zombies vs Meaningless Award Show

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Not everyone enjoys the Oscars as much as the Oscars themselves do. So, it would make sense that some alternative programming be set up for those who don’t have time for Billy Crystal’s tired song and dance routine. Most channels have shown a fear of broadcasting any first-run programming against the awards ceremony, but there are a few that are forging ahead with either fresh, new episodes or movies that are more fun to watch than a celebrity walking off the wrong side of the stage.

And so, if you’re not a fan of the Oscars or award shows in general, or, if you’re not insane, here are your best viewing options this Sunday night.

Celebrity ApprenticeNBC @ 9PM EST/PST

Would you prefer to watch Billy Crystal make jokes about Jack Nicholson, or would you rather watch Teresa Giudice, Arsenio Hall, and Lou Ferrigno put on a medievial-themed show for an audience? What if I told you it lead to bodily harm? Sign me up for the ren faire with the has-beens. It’s our best bet for seeing Dee Snider bite the head off a goat.

The Amazing Race 20 – CBS @ 8PM EST/PST

This season features hot chicks, party clowns, and federal agents all competing against one another. That sounds far more entertaining than watching Cirque du Soleil dangle from trapezes while scenes from A Better Life are projected onto them. Especially if one of the clowns gets ahold of one of the federal agents’ gun.

The Walking Dead- AMC @ 9PM EST/PST

I’ve gotta admit that the second half of season two is off to an okayish start. And when talking about The Walking Dead, “okayish” is pretty damn good. This week, tensions between Rick and Shane grow to a head. Which leads to a headbutt. And I’m assuming that leads to an all-out brawl. The way the plot has been speeding along, this could be the last we see of Shane. At least until he rises from the dead. Even so, something could happen on this show. That’s rare! Are you really willing to miss that?

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Plan Your Pee Breaks Now: 7 Boring 2012 Oscar Moments To Avoid http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/plan-your-pee-breaks-now-7-boring-2012-oscar-moments-to-avoid/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/plan-your-pee-breaks-now-7-boring-2012-oscar-moments-to-avoid/#comments Wed, 22 Feb 2012 17:13:43 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=245798 It's important to stretch your legs.

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May as well face it now. Sunday’s presentation of the Academy Awards will not live up to your expectations. Every year, the Monday morning following the show is ruled by unsatisfied viewers picking it apart and pointing out all the faults. It’s terrible… that we wait that long. Why not pick the show apart in advance? We already know the parts that are boring, and you’re just torturing yourself by sitting through them.

So, here’s our handy guide to when you can leave the couch this Sunday without missing anything that may interest you. If you’re going to waste your time, you might as well waste it doing something awesome.

The Red Carpet

Unless you’re hungover or a live-blogger (pretty much go hand-in-hand) there’s no reason to watch the Oscars red carpet pre-show. It’s never interesting and who cares who is wearing whom? We’re not our mothers, wives, or girlfriends so there’s no usable information to be gleaned from this. At best we’ll be able to get a look at an A-list actress looking pretty hot. But that’s only good if you’re in the comfort of your own home. It’s generally frowned upon to fap openly at Oscar parties which isn’t fair considering Hollywood will be tossing itself off the entire night.

Cirque du Soleil

It seems like every year, producers of the show try to shoehorn feats of gymnastic bendiness into the already too long award show. I see no benefit to having Cirque du Soleil there on Oscar night. Watching people with their genitalia smooshed uncomfortably into zebra-striped unitards twist while they around upside down doesn’t help me understand The Help on any deeper level. If the show is aiming to be entertaining, they should hire a real circus. One with elephants and clowns who spray winners with seltzer if their acceptance speeches go long.

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Uggie Will Not Be Attending The Oscars http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/uggie-will-not-be-attending-the-oscars/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/uggie-will-not-be-attending-the-oscars/#comments Wed, 15 Feb 2012 22:13:42 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=245444 Aw, hell nah!

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What the hell is going on with Uggie? First, it was announced that he was retiring from the business completely. It was later revealed that he actually has a mysterious neurological ailment that’s forcing him to give up his career but not until he appears in a sketch with Billy Crystal during this year’s Oscars telecast. Now there’s word that the dog from The Artist will not be attending the Oscars after all. I really haven’t been concerned about a dog’s whereabouts this much since that time Beethoven was left alone in a room with the Thanksgiving turkey.

A representative for the Weinstein Company says that Uggie has “not been asked to participate or appear at the Oscars.” This is in direct opposition to what his trainer had said a few weeks back. Just level with us. Does Uggie even exist? Is he computer-generated? Or worse, has he died and is now being dragged around on fishing line a la Weekend at Bernies? (BBC)

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7 Possible Locations For The Academy Awards http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/7-possible-locations-for-the-academy-awards/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/7-possible-locations-for-the-academy-awards/#comments Mon, 06 Feb 2012 15:31:12 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=244526 Live from world famous Oakland, CA...

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Big news for the Oscars on the cusp of the 84th Academy Awards. Not only is Kodak, in the face of bankruptcy, looking to pull their name from the Oscars’ theater, but the Academy is currently perusing other locations for a possible venue switch.

Though details of the agreement between the Academy and Kodak Theater owner CIM aren’t public, it’s been leaked that there is an opt-out clause that can be exercised by the Academy that allows them to set up shop elsewhere.

The front-runner right now is the Nokia Theater in downtown Los Angeles in the L.A. Live complex adjacent to Staples Center. The Emmy’s take place there, and it’s slightly newer than the Kodak Theater. BORING. If you’re going to have the Oscars in L.A., have them in Hollywood. Few people know that Hollywood is mostly suit outlets and weird stores that sell bongs and ninja swords. If the Oscars leave town, then Hollywood will ONLY consist of suit outlets and ninja sword/bong stores.

That said, we need to find some suitable venues to host the Oscars. I don’t really think they should leave Hollywood, but if they do, I want it to be on my terms. Who am I to dictate such things? I’m a guy with a website, godammit.

Here are my suggestions.

Oakland Coliseum

The Oscars are perhaps the most exclusive awards show (or possibly even event) in America. That’s a very nice designation to have, by isn’t it time to get more egalitarian with the production and allow more movie fans to attend? Like, 77,000 more? If you think it’s going to be difficult to sell all those tickets, there’s a built-in market: Oakland Raiders season ticket holders. Get them on board, and you’ll have no problem filling the space. Plus, the ceremony is still in California, so wrangling up the stars should be no problem at all.

And you know how critics are always saying the Oscars telecast doesn’t feature enough convicted felons in the audience? The participation of Oakland Raiders fans will silence them as well.

This is my first choice.

A Giant Chuck. E. Cheese Built Just For The Oscars

The nice thing about this option (besides the fact that it has the Oscars taking place in a sweet Chuck E. Cheese) is that the sponsorship convention is already built in. The lauded Oscars and a funtime pizza parlor whose fictional proprietor is a giant anthropomorphic rat would experience obvious synergies. Wouldn’t you like to see Helen Mirren do her backstage press conference in a ball pit? If one of Sean Penn’s painfully preachy speeches goes on too long, wouldn’t it be nice to see him played off by this band instead of some anonymous symphony?:

The answer is yes.

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Get to Know The 2012 Oscar Nominees, You Rube http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/get-to-know-the-2012-oscar-nominees-you-rube/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/get-to-know-the-2012-oscar-nominees-you-rube/#comments Tue, 24 Jan 2012 20:37:40 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=243494 Let's go ahead and judge these films the best way we know how - on appearances.

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Before you woke up this morning, the Oscar nominees were announced. It would seem that this year, more than other years, there was a pretty big bifurcation between the few widely embraced films and the ones that were nominated for an Oscar. As such, many movie fans might be unfamiliar with a few of the nominees. Well, due to that and the fact that the Academy now enjoys nominating seemingly hundreds of films for Best Picture.

So, for those unfamiliar, here’s a quick rundown of the films jousting for the title of Best Picture. Like the Highlander, there can be only one.

The Artist

The first entry here is by far the most artsy, and perhaps least accessible by wide audiences. It’s a French film directed by Michel Hazanavicius, starring Jean Dujardin and Berenice Bejo. I’m actively rooting against this film just so I don’t have to type those names throughout March if it wins. The film follows a male film star in the twilight of his career and a female star on the upswing. So it’s kind of like A Star Is Born, which is another film our readers probably haven’t seen.

Anyway, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that the film is in black and white. Oh. And it’s largely silent. Content and merit aside, I could see the Academy going for this guy solely to show how damn sophisticated they are.

The Descendants

While it hasn’t made a splash at the box office (many nominees fail to), this Alexander Payne (Election, About Schmidt, Sideways) film has seemed to emerge as “the Oscar shoe-in that the masses are getting on board with.” It stars George Clooney as a laissez faire dad who has to get in touch with his kids in Hawaii after their mother suffers a boating injury and falls into a coma. Like much of Payne’s fare, this film is purported to be drier than a cracker, but the film has managed to nab other nods for both Clooney and Payne, so the powers that be are digging it.

Also, the film has Matthew Lillard in it, which I thought would preclude it from being nominated, but apparently not.

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

Jonathan Safran Foer wrote this well-received novel in 2005, focusing on one boy’s journey to make sense of his father’s death in the September 11th attacks. The source material’s reception wasn’t as warm as Foer’s previous effort, Everything Is Illuminated, but all the problems with the can be offset by the fact that this film has Tom f*cking Hanks, so the critics can go to hell.

This movie has been divisive, with many critics railing it for its heavy reliance on saccharine subject matter (“Remember 9/11? That sucked!”) and the performance of child star Thomas Horn, who they found to be unlikeable. It sucks to go on a journey with an unlikeable person.

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Timeline: The Year In James Franco http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/timeline-the-year-in-james-franco/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/timeline-the-year-in-james-franco/#comments Thu, 29 Dec 2011 21:17:49 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=240343 I feel like I just spent the last year chronicling the things James Franco did last year.

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Earlier this month, rumors surfaced that James Franco will be performing a brief cameo in the upcoming Linda Lovelace biopic, Lovelace, starring Amanda Seyfried. Franco will be playing Hugh Hefner, one of seemingly dozens of interesting roles that Franco had been considered and rumored for this year. Not content with just being in contention for every interesting role in Hollywood, in 2011 Franco spent the time most people would have spent sleeping pursuing bizarre “art” projects that seem to defy the grasp of us non-Franconian rubes.

2011 has demonstrated that Franco’s career isn’t so much a thing that can be talked about, like a baseball game or the weather, but rather that something that is understood and known in seemingly binary fashion, like the concepts of gravity or mortality. So if you don’t understand Franco now, this timeline will read as a list of roles and activities rather than what it is: James Franco’s metamorphosis from actor to some sort of entity that gives me a nosebleed if I think about it too hard.

January 3

- It becomes known that Franco is eying two films to possibly direct. Of course both potential projects will be written by Franco. Not one to shy away from a challenge, both projects would be based on books. One written by Faulkner and one by Cormac McCarthy. NBD.

January 14

- Franco lets it be known that one Franco alone cannot stand, so he tells MTV that he’s preparing a film for both him and his brother Dave to star in. It would be an extension of the Funny or Die videos that they created earlier in the year. One can only assume that he would write this in between the sentence breaks of his Faulkner adaptation.

January 17

- Realizing that he hadn’t announced any ambitious hyphenate projects over the weekend, Franco atones by announcing that he will act-direct in The Night Stalker, a true crime story based on serial killer Richard Ramirez. The film is/was being co-produced by Chris Cornell because it just is, ok?

January 20

- James Franco is announced as a star of The Iceman, a story about another serial killer, this time a mob hitman. Franco would not star as the Iceman, but rather some other character that is probably somehow more important to the story of the Iceman.

January 24

- James Franco is in talks to star as pornographer Chuck Traynor in a Linda Lovelace biopic. No, it’s not the same role as the one I mentioned in the introduction. Sometimes producers and Franco himself get confused and he accepts more than one part in the same film.

January 25

- One day later, James decides that he really should make a decision on those two adaptations he was working on. He thinks that the Faulkner adaptation is most deserving of his talents. He will direct and star in the film because doing only one thing is for terrible people.

January 31

- Looking back and realizing how slow of a month January has been for him, Franco steps up his motherfuckin’ game by teaching a class so postmodern and meta that I just took five minutes to look up what “postmodern” and “meta” meant. The Columbia College Hollywood is now offering a class that allows/forces students to “create a cinematic image of James Franco.” Of course, creating an image of Franco without the aid of Franco is comparable to owning a rainbow or clapping with one hand, so he will be teaching via Skype and…the best part…footage from the class will be footage in the students final project. What did you do for your film school project? A film about a kid and his dog? Fuck you. Franco’s is better.

February 4

- James Franco take a few minutes to himself, consumes his own arm, waits for the devoured arm to regenerate, then steps into a meeting to discuss playing The Wizard of Oz in Oz, The Great and Powerful. How does his desire to play Oz reflect on Franco himself? You wouldn’t understand the answer to that question.

February 7

- Remember that dumb TV show Three’s Company? Franco’s desire on Monday, February 7 is to immortalize that show through both film and stage. How did he reach this conclusion? He was in Park City, Utah for a multimedia installation entitled Three’s Company: The Drama, which is totally awesome. He dressed up like the blonde one. Click the link.

February 10

- James Franco is on the shortlist to star in Savages, a much-hyped literary adaptation by Oliver Stone. He tells the director that his availability is most of the afternoon on June 8th, then again between brunches on June 11. He does not get the part.

February 11

- Feeling lazy after his Savages meeting the previous day, gets into talks to play Kaneda, the protagonist in the heralded Japanese anime story Akira. He is offered the lead, but turns the role down with little fanfare. (Please note that the link to this story has its own lengthy timeline as well, going only so far as that present day. What can I say? Franco brings out the chronologer in me.)

February 12

- The past two days of blockbuster meetings make James feel too singularly focused on film. He opens an art exhibit to decompress. The exhibit opened in Berlin because of course it did, and it was entitled “The Dangerous Four Book Boys” because of course it was.

February 23

- Franco, undertaking a project that’s weird by even Franco standards, takes footage taken during the filming of Gus Van Sant‘s My Own Private Idaho focusing on River Phoenix and assembled it in a menagerie he chose to call My Own Private River with a score by Michael Stipe. Lest you think he only assembled one film for Van Sant’s art exhibition, I suggest you stop being an ass and turn yourself on to Franco’s second film, entitled Endless Idaho. It runs for twelve hours. For realsies.

February 25

- Ensuring that highbrow melds with lowbrow to keep the universe in harmony, all the while doing it in the oddest fashion possible, plays a character named The Franco on General Hospital. Hold on. That’s only 5% of the meta you’re about to receive. The Franco is gearing up to attend the Academy Awards, which James Franco the non-soap opera character is actually, really hosting in a few days.

February 27

- James Franco co-hosts the Academy Awards. It doesn’t go well, and he doesn’t seem to care.

February 28

- THE DAY AFTER he hosts the Academy Awards, James Franco announced that he is collaborating with director/nutjob Harmony Korine, not on a film, mind you, but a staged fight between two actual LA street gangs. If you’re asking yourself why these two men would do this, then you really don’t get art at all.

March 6

- James Franco drops out of While We’re Young, demonstrating that James Franco is capable of dropping out of films that he WASN’T EVEN A PART OF! Director Noah Baumbach is now saddled with the designation of being the 2011 director that made that Franco-less movies.

April 8

- James Franco’s film Your Highness premieres. He just acted in it, so it’s really not worth talking about that much.

April 9th to May 9th

- James Franco sleeps.

May 10th

- With sleep still in his eye following a month-long slumber, James Franco casts Val Lauren in the lead of the Sal Mineo biopic he’s directing, simply titled Sal. It’s worth nothing that Lauren looks like an extremely close relative of David Blaine.

August 5

- James Franco has a starring turn in the critically acclaimed and successful Rise of the Planet of the Apes. It will be the most normal thing Franco does all year.

August 12

- James Franco consults his New Year’s resolutions checklist and finds that, with the year half-over, he has completed not only most of his resolutions, but all the resolutions of the half-dozen art school dropouts huddled around him.

September 21

- The continuum of time, ceases to flex for James Franco, his work moving at a clip now only best described as “very busy.” In related news, acting becomes the world’s most lucrative profession now that James Franco isn’t hoarding all the roles. He picks up a role in the Apatow-riffic film Jay and Seth Vs. the Apocalypse.

September 21 to Today, December 20

- James Franco sheds his body to exist in a realm that he cautiously describes as “similar to time, but sort of furrier.” Everyone nods politely and waits for his next film.

December 31*

- In a performance art piece entitled simply “You Can’t Always Get What You Want,” James Franco emerges from the dropped New Year’s Eve ball (just short of its midnight destination), covered in a viscous material that keeps him warm, despite the fact that he is totally nude. He will then manually drag the ball up to the top of the spire, resetting both calendars and time itself to 2011 again, so he can pick up a few of the roles he didn’t have time for. This will repeat for eternity.

*Probably

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Brian Grazer Accepts Brett Ratner’s Oscars Sloppy Seconds http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/brian-grazer-accepts-brett-ratners-oscars-sloppy-seconds/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/brian-grazer-accepts-brett-ratners-oscars-sloppy-seconds/#comments Thu, 10 Nov 2011 14:58:57 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=235901 They're keeping it in the 'Tower Heist' family.

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Proving he’s no opponent to rehearsal, Brian Grazer has stepped into the shoes left empty by Brett Ratner’s exit as producer of the Oscars. Please clean those shoes thoroughly first.

The Academy wasted no time in announcing a replacement this week after Ratner stepped down when the media caught wind of his recent controversial statements. However, the choice seems suspect. Grazer did after all produce Tower Heist, the film that’s receiving heavy promotion from the Academy Awards. However, I’d recommend moving away from Tower Heist as it’s clearly cursed. It opened poorly at the box office. Brett Ratner was outed as a douche who masturbates while eating finger foods, star Eddie Murphy stepped down as Oscars host, and Courthouse Guard actor Heavy D collapsed and died this week. Did Tower Heist run over a gypsy out by the fairgrounds?

I find it ironic that Ratner was dismissed after stating, “Rehearsal is for fags,” yet Grazer experienced a similar (if not more harsh) backlash when his film The Dilemma stated that “electric cars are gay.” You can’t tell me that there are no electric cars in The Academy. (Deadline)

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Eight Other People Who Would Have Made Great Oscar Hosts 15 Years Ago http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/eight-other-people-who-would-have-made-great-oscar-hosts-15-years-ago/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/eight-other-people-who-would-have-made-great-oscar-hosts-15-years-ago/#comments Thu, 08 Sep 2011 23:30:45 +0000 Esteban http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=227639 1996 would love these hosts!

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On Tuesday it was officially announced that Eddie Murphy will host the 2012 Academy Awards. Obviously he will share co-hosting duties with his sister and uncle, both of whom will be played by Eddie in a fat suit.

This announcement ended six months of speculation that began immediately after last year’s abysmal effort by Anne “What The Hell Is Comedic Timing?” Hathaway and James “Maybe I Should Just Pick One Or Two Hobbies And Stick With Them” Franco.

Of course, most observers figured the Academy would go with someone familiar and safe (and named Billy Crystal) this time around. However, it turns out that the producer of the 2012 telecast, Brett Ratner, was looking for someone a little less “safe” and a little more, I don’t know, starring in a film he directed that is being released this November. So they went with Eddie Murphy even though he is clearly past his comedic prime, having appeared in precisely two good films since the turn of the millennium.

Now, as evidenced by their attempt to be hip and connect with the youngsters last year, the Academy generally tries to choose a host who is at least somewhat commercially relevant. So this decision struck me as a little strange. If Murphy can’t entertain people with his movies, which last about 90 minutes, how the hell is he going to keep 300 million people glued to the tube for four and a half hours this February? Sure, Eddie is a comedy legend, and he would have been a fantastic host back in 1993. But have you seen Meet Dave?

That being said, I don’t particularly enjoy going against the grain. In fact, I love the establishment. If “the man” writes something on the wall, I read it and don’t ask questions. So if this “picking Oscar hosts who were really awesome 15 years ago” thing is the direction the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences wishes to go, that’s cool. I even have a few suggestions for other has-been Hollywood types the Academy might want to keep in mind for the future. You’re welcome, guys.

Chevy Chase

In his prime, Chevy Chase was a physical comedy genius and a true master of the dry one-liner. He rose to stardom as an original cast member of Saturday Night Live, then parlayed that notoriety into a successful movie career, making classic comedic turns in such films as Caddyshack, Vacation, Fletch, ¡Three Amigos! and, of course, Christmas Vacation. Chevy was so funny in the 70s and 80s that he actually did host the Oscars back then. Twice. And he was great. He opened the 1987 telecast with the classic greeting, “Good evening, Hollywood phonies!”

Sadly, that was one of the last funny things Chevy Chase did for about 20 years. For some reason, Chevy just stopped being funny. Maybe all those comedic pratfalls just took a toll on his body. Or maybe all the drugs he took to numb the pain of those pratfalls took a toll on his brain. But one way or another, Chevy lost it. Luckily, in the last two years he’s been able to regain some of his old form in the NBC sitcom Community, so he might be the perfect guy to follow Eddie Murphy in 2013.

Dan Aykroyd

Dan Aykroyd was probably never quite as brilliant as contemporaries Chevy Chase, Bill Murray, or Steve Martin, but he had some pretty great moments. The unscrupulous toy company executive on SNL selling his “Bag O’ Glass”? Hilarious. Blues Brothers? Classic. Trading Places with co-star Eddie Murphy? Pretty funny. Ghostbusters? Perfect. But all good things come to an end, and I’ve got one word for you that pretty much sums up the man’s current ability: Crossroads. So yeah, these days old Danny boy would be wise to just focus on hocking his wine and liquor products and leave the comedy to others. Which means he’s just the type of guy the Academy is looking for.

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The Academy Does It Again: Brett Ratner Producing The Oscars http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/the-academy-does-it-again-brett-ratner-producing-the-oscars/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/the-academy-does-it-again-brett-ratner-producing-the-oscars/#comments Fri, 05 Aug 2011 16:25:43 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=223624 C'mon. James Franco wasn't THAT bad.

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In the interest of continuing their trend of getting ripped a new one, the Academy has selected Brett Ratner to co-produce the 2012 Academy Awards. Ratner sat down with Deadline to discuss how the deal came to be:

“I had no idea. But Tom Sherak called me two weeks ago to come see him in his office. And I walk in and Tom is there with Dawn Hudson. And I thought I was being kicked out of Academy. I thought my maid had started bootlegging my Academy DVDs and I would be escorted out of the building and asked to relinquish my Academy cards.”

LOL. Seriously, though. Put a tail on that maid.

In an interview with returning co-producer Don Mischer, Ratner tells THR about what he’ll bring to the table. And no, they aren’t Anytizers. Although those are delicious.

“I think my love of comedy had a lot to do with it. To their credit, Tom and Dawn really understand what is needed, and comedy is a big part of it, and I want to make that part of it. I think that is going to be tremendous.”

Judd Apatow must have given his screeners to his maid.

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5 People Who Deserve An Honorary Oscar More Than Oprah Winfrey http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/5-people-who-deserve-an-honorary-oscar-more-than-oprah-winfrey/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/5-people-who-deserve-an-honorary-oscar-more-than-oprah-winfrey/#comments Thu, 04 Aug 2011 23:55:30 +0000 Jame Gumb http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=223531 In protest of Oprah's honorary Oscar, here are five people who should have received it instead.

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The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has decided to bestow a very special award on a very special lady: Ms. Oprah Winfrey. Despite the fact that she hasn’t appeared in a film since 1998 and only has three movie appearances to her name, the now-retried talk-show queen will receive an honorary Oscar. While that might be inspiring to millions of overweight housewives who refuse to watch the Oscars unless Billy Crystal is hosting, it’s a slap in the face to anyone who takes cinema half-way seriously. This is especially true when considering the numerous actors and actresses who have been overlooked throughout the years, and have never been given an honorary award to make up for it.

So, in protest of Oprah‘s honorary Oscar, here are five people who should have received it instead.

Peter Lorre

With a career spanning over three decades, Peter Lorre starred in some of the 20th century’s most memorable films. From M to Casablanca, the actor’s strange appearance and unique voice endeared him to audiences despite the fact that many of his characters were less than sympathetic. But at the end of the day, he died without an Oscar to his name while in a morphine induced haze. When Oprah dies, she’ll do so with an Oscar in hand, and the only haze she’ll see will be surrounding the Santa Ynez Mountains near her beautiful Monticito home.

Paul Schrader

Whil Paul Schrader is a well respected director in his own right, he is perhaps best known as the writer behind such classic Martin Scorsese films as Raging Bull and Taxi Driver. That’s right, the man behind Raging Bull and Taxi Driver doesn’t have an Oscar, but a raging cow who hasn’t had to ride in a Taxi since 1982 does. God, I hope some day a real rain comes and washes all this scum.

Sergio Leone

Sergio Leone is the director most associated with the Spaghetti Western. This is a result of his renowned Dollars Trilogy (A Fistful of Dollars; For a Few Dollars More; and The Good, the Bad and the Ugly), films that helped make Clint Eastwood a household name. Yet despite the fact that Leone contributed so much to the world of cinema, he has no Oscar to show for it. Yet Oprah, who is best known for screaming “my vajayjay is paining” on national television does. Classy.

Glenn Close

If Glenn Close’s only role had been as Alex Forrest in Fatal Attraction, that alone would have made her worthy of an honorary Oscar. But the fact that she’s had a spectacular career spanning decades (along with the fact the the Academy has overlooked her all these years) should all but assure her of the award. But not this year. This year, they’re giving it to the woman who gave us Dr. Phil.

Rob Schneider

Yeah, that Rob Schneider. His movies are awful, he can’t act, and he has no business winning a real Oscar, much less an honorary one. But at the end of the day, he’s somewhat likable, and at least he’s involved in the film industry. And to top it off, if you watch Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo wasted, you might actually enjoy it, which is more than can be said of Oprah.

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The Crazy-Haired Oscar Winner Luke Matheny Speaks http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/the-crazy-haired-oscar-winner-luke-matheny-speaks/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/the-crazy-haired-oscar-winner-luke-matheny-speaks/#comments Tue, 01 Mar 2011 22:03:23 +0000 Col. Longshanks http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=30977 Yes, he has a name.

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The Oscar for Best Live-Action Short Film totally stole the show this year. Luke Matheny won for God of Love and he took the podium looking like Jeff Goldblum and saying he should’ve gotten a haircut. The next night he was walking a red carpet.

I know a story when I see one, so I contacted his people and got myself a spot to Matheny’s first post-Oscar public appearance. He attended the Venice Family Clinic Silver Circle Gala, where everyone on the red carpet asked him for an interview now that he’s famous.

Q: Since you won the Oscar last night, have you been getting approached with feature offers?

LM: Not since last night. I’ve gotten a lot of warm wishes. My agents called. They were pretty excited. I have my own feature script that I’m working on now so hopefully it’ll get me a little more leverage to get that made faster than otherwise would’ve been possible.

Q: Is the script you’re working on an original?

LM: Yeah, it’s a comedy that I’m writing. It’s an original screenplay. I mean, it’s a loose riff on Don Quixote but it’s not so close an adaptation.

Q: I mean this in the best possible way but I think you have a real Jeff Goldblum thing going on.

LM: I’ve been getting that. Yes, that’s true.

Q: I’m not the first?

LM: No, it’s been interesting to read a lot of reviews that comment on my appearance. Jeff Goldblum comes up a lot. I read one that said, “Love child of Sideshow Bob and Napoleon Dynamite.”

Q: What party did you go to last night?

LM: Let’s see, we went to the Governor’s Ball. Then we went to Chateau Marmont. Then Vanity Fair and then Madonna’s party was full so we just called it a night and went to Mel’s Drive-In and hung out for a little while.

Q: What was the scene at those parties?

LM: You know, a bunch of movie stars. It was unbelievable. I’d never been around anything like that. It’s strange. Then you could tell a lot of them sort of remembered me from the show, so that’s even weirder.

Q: Who did you get to meet?

LM: Tom Hanks Paul Rudd, Mark Ruffalo. Oh, Amy Adams and Jake Gyllenhaal gave me the award so I got to chat with them. What’s refreshing and surprising is that all these people, every single one, was extremely nice which I guess that’s what you hope to be true but then suspect isn’t, but it turned out every single one of them was super nice.

Q: Now that everyone knows about your film, where can they find it?

LM: You can buy it on iTunes or you can spend considerably more money to buy the DVD off my website.

Q: People might be willing to do that. What’s the website?

LM: We’ll see, yeah, we’ll see. It’s Lukemathenyfilms.com. If you just Google “God of Love DVD” you’ll find it.

Q: Jake’s joke was fairly accurate that a lot of us only find out about the shorts when we do the Oscar pool, so what is your film about?

LM: It’s a comedy with elements of romance and fantasy I guess, about a lounge singing darts champion who receives a box of love inducing darts. Then he kind of uses it to resolve a love triangle.

Q: As a short film, does it culminate in a punch line?

LM: Yeah, I wanted a sort of punch line but also maybe a hint of bittersweetness on the way out which I always think is a nice feeling.

Q: What was the process of submitting to the Oscars?

LM: Well, I was fortunate to win the student Academy Award last year. By winning that I qualified to submit to the Oscars.

Q: How was your film school experience at NYU?

LM: Well, when you leave with an Oscar it’s hard to complain about it. It’s wonderful. I shot in February and then six months after that, all the great people who were working on my set, I had to work on all of their films. It’s incredibly collaborative. You end up working with a lot of your best friends and I just met a lot of wonderful people.

Q: Where are you going to put your Oscar?

LM: I’m not sure. I think I might give it to my mom.

Q: Was there anyone you didn’t get to thank or didn’t get to say on stage last night?

LM: There was one actor, Miguel Rosales, who played a bass player who I wanted to squeeze in there, but then what you do is afterwards you do this thing called the Thank You Cam where you talk online. I had a huge list on my phone of every single person on the crew and all my friends who came out to celebrate this weekend and just everybody.

Q: Have you had hairdressers contacting you offering to give you that hair cut?

LM: No, I haven’t but I get a lot of people coming up to me saying don’t get a haircut or get a haircut. I have no plans. We’ll see if Supercuts has any availability next week.

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