Screen Junkies » The Onion

Quvenzhané Wallis Cast As ‘Annie’ And Is Not A ‘C-Word’ Despite What You May Have Read

Wookie Johnson — Mon, 25 Feb 2013 22:52:54 +0000

Pretty big weekend for Quvenzhané Wallis, the adorable 9-year old star of Beasts of the Southern Wild. Not only did she whiff out so hard by not winning an Oscar, but the youngest loser in Oscar history was also cast in the Will Smith/Jay-Z produced remake of Annie. She’ll replace the departing Willow Smith who decided to exit because she just wants to focus on being a kid. Saw that one coming. Nikki Finke has the corner nabbed on TOLDJA!, so I’m just going to go with our tried-and-true CALLED DAT SH*T!

In other Quvenzhané Wallis news, America’s Finest News Source, The Onion has issued an apology to the actress for a tasteless comment they made about her on Twitter during last night’s Oscars telecast. The post was deleted an hour after posting once editors at The Onion realized you can’t go around calling a 9-year old child the c-word unless they are fictional. Or if you are Kurt Sutter.

Enter the Onion SportsDome

Reza F. — Mon, 10 Jan 2011 19:55:57 +0000

It’s The Onion, so you know it’ll be funny. Also funny: ESPN‘s 24-hour broadcast of Chris Berman’s jiggling neck fat.

“Onion SportsDome” premieres January 11 at 10:30 pm ET on Comedy Central.

Comedy Central Picks Up ‘Onion Sports Network’

admin — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 19:25:43 +0000

^{Haha. Right in the nuts.}

Thank God. Now comedy nerds can go into a sports bar and enjoy 10 Cent Wing Night without fear of ridicule from the jocks, enjoying sports highlights and merciless mockery as they see fit. Comedy Central has ordered ten episodes of the sports-themed satire “Onion Sports Network,” allowing nerds everywhere to bluff their way through sports conversations when, in truth, their sports knowledge is limited to the third act of Major League.

A spin-off of the popular newspaper, website, and recently-announced TV show, “OSN” will target teams, athletes, fans, and ridiculous endorsements with “the same sharpness we’ve seen applied to the world of politics and popular culture.” (THR)

A taste of things to come, after the jump….

Kentucky Violated NCAA Rules While Recruiting Basketball-Playing Dog

IFC Scoops Up All the Good Comedies

Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

I was pretty vocal with my disappointment that David Cross‘s "The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret" wouldn’t air on American television. I mean, c’mon, those lucky Brits have the world on a string — awesome weather, those Jedward guys, and unsurpassed prevention of prostitute murder. Well, it was rumored before and now it’s official. Beginning this fall, IFC will air David Cross’s fish out of water comedy as well as two other very funny series.

A TV version of The Onion News Network (Winter 2011) and the Kids in the Hall reunion series "Kids in the Hall: Death Comes to Town" (August 2010) have earned slots on the channel’s schedule. Elsewhere, Comedy Central will be airing reruns of "Krod Mandoon" and "Naked Trucker & T-Bone’s Show" ad nauseum. (Time)