Screen Junkies » The Millionaire Matchmaker http://www.screenjunkies.com Movie Reviews & TV Show Reviews Mon, 22 Sep 2014 21:46:07 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Take The ‘Is That Patti Stanger Or Chewbacca’ Challenge http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/take-the-is-that-patti-stanger-or-chewbacca-challenge/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/take-the-is-that-patti-stanger-or-chewbacca-challenge/#comments Mon, 26 Sep 2011 21:04:05 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=230025 'Patti once pulled a man's arms out of their sockets after losing a game of canasta.'

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Is that Patti Stanger or Chewbacca? This question has plagued mankind ever since The Millionaire Matchmaker was unleashed onto the public three years ago. A recent poll showed that more than 40% of Americans are under the mistaken impression that the beloved Star Wars Wookiee has converted to Judaism and is hosting his own shitty dating show on Bravo. In order to clear up the confusion, we did some research, and discovered that with a little practice, it is possible to tell The Millionaire Matchmaker’s Patti Stanger apart from Chewbacca. And if we can do it, so can you. Take the quiz below, and you’ll be on your way….

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5 Shows That Should Have Been Canceled Before ‘Lights Out’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-lists/5-shows-that-should-have-been-canceled-before-light-out/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-lists/5-shows-that-should-have-been-canceled-before-light-out/#comments Fri, 25 Mar 2011 00:22:41 +0000 Jame Gumb http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=203563 These five shows should not be on the air in a world where "Lights Out" gets canceled.

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Despite the plethora of crap to be found on TV, FX canceled the critically acclaimed boxing drama, “Lights Out,” due to low ratings. That pisses me off. I’m not saying the show was flawless. In fact, at points, it was pretty stupid. But even so, its writers looked like the reincarnation of William friggen Shakespeare when compared to their competition. How is it that a well scripted, well acted show like “Lights Out” has less of a following than a show about some stereotypical Italian asshole who bakes cakes? I have no idea. But what I do know is that these five shows should not be on the air in a world where “Lights Out” gets canceled.

Any Show With An Abbreviation For A Name

CSI!” “NCIS!” WTF? I’m not even going to argue that all these shows are bad (even though they are mindless trash). Wha I am going to argue is that maybe you don’t need twenty different versions. This goes for “Law and Order,” as well. Doing the exact same thing in a different location is the height of laziness (although “Cash Cab Chicago” gets a pass). New York, Miami, LA: who gives a shit? Murder is murder. Could you please just cancel one of these to make room for my boxing drama?

WWE

If you want to watch a show about two guys pretending to fight, why would you choose WWE over “Lights out?” It doesn’t make sense! “Lights Out” is better written, better acted, more believable, and a thousand times less homoerotic. Granted, if you’re looking for homoerotisim, I get it. But if you’re not, why watch that shit?

Hardcore Pawn”

Look, if you really want to watch a bunch of morons pawning shit, that’s fine. I get it. To be honest, I’ve wasted a lot of time watching it, myself. But do we really need two separate shows? “Pawn Stars” wasn’t enough for you animals? Jesus Christ!

Cake Boss

Oh no! They baked the wrong cake! What the hell are they going to do now? Oh, thank god! They managed to make a new cake just in time! I can see why this show is so popular! Oh wait, no I can’t. Italians should be ashamed of this asshole’s antics. Fugetaboutit!

“The Millionaire Matchmaker”

Watching Patti Stanger turn away girls because they aren’t attractive is like watching Chewbacca tell Bigfoot he needs to shave. Who the hell is she? More importantly, who the hell sits and watches that beast set up imbeciles on phony dates week after week? Well, my girlfriend does, but she’s only 13, so she doesn’t know any better. At any rate, the fact that this show survives while “Lights Out” dies is a travesty.

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