David O. Russell‘s Spanking The Monkey was a close second choice.

Be sure to watch it until the end. It’s much better than Clive Owen’s Burger King commercial. (via Dread Central)

It wouldn’t be a circus without the clown mistress, Gloria Allred. The attention-hungry lawyer has announced she is representing one of Cain’s accusers. I’m not sure how seductively stroking a baseball  bat will help the case but then again, I didn’t go to law school.

Many people groan at the sight of Allred, but they should be used to her by now. She’s been appearing in movies for years, right beneath our noses. See for yourself.

Why not try something a little different and stand out from the crowd? It can be a lot easier than it seems.

Did time get away from you? No worries! We’ve got your back with a few movie-based costume ideas you make with stuff you find laying around the house.

Shower – The Karate Kid

Using simple items that you find in a standard maintenance closet, you can easily rig this walking shower costume from The Karate Kid. Not only will the girls love it as a secret hook-up location, but the bros will respect the nostalgia factor and refrain from making you the recipient of any beatdowns. This will free you up to grab as many ladies as you like.

Derek Vinyard – American History X

There’s probably no easier costume on this list than Derek Vinyard from American History X. All that you need is a pair of white boxers, some boots, and a willingness to shave your head and mark your skin with some weird shapes from history books. It’s so simple to make, I’m surprised it’s not a more popular costume.

It’s really hard to talk about Human Centipede (First Sequence) in an intelligent manner, which isn’t that surprising since most of the controversy surrounding its predecessor focused on audiences’ visceral reaction to the concept of ass-to-mouth horror. The sequel Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence) is no different (the tagline is “The Deuce Is Loose!” speaks for itself) but I’ll try.

Dutch director Tom Six‘s follow-up to his 2010 meme of a film (yes, in South Park spoofs you, you’re a meme) opened up the 2011 edition on Fantastic Fest, the largest genre film festival in North America, and I was there to witness it. The first thing that greeted me when I got to my seat was a barf bag filled with a mint and a staple remover. The former was there for more than obvious reason, whereas the stapler remover was there alluding to what I was about to watch.

Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence) opens quite literally where the last one left off: the final scene from the first movie and its closing credits. The camera then zooms out to reveal Martin (Laurence Harvey), a short, mentally challenged, grotesque-looking garage attendant. Soon after, we learn that our protagonist–much like the film’s director– is obsessed with the Human Centipede (First Sequence), so much so that his plan is to recreate the fictional Dr. Heiter’s monstrous creation. There’s a catch, though. Martin won’t be happy with three people being stitched together ass-to-mouth. He wants to turn it up to eleven. Well, twelve, to be more precise. A dozen victims instead of the pedestrian three.

And so the film’s very simplistic plot begins to unravel. Martin uses his place of work to pick off his victims, clubbing all but two of them at the parking garage and dragging them to an abandoned warehouse. The two other are the skinhead neighbor who lives above his flat and Ashlynn Yennie– an actress in the first one who plays herself in this one (we told you that Tom Six is obsessed with his own work).

Once he has his twelve parts for his centipede, Martin rolls up his sleeves (by which we mean “takes off his pants and puts on a surgical coat”) and begins to work. What follows next is a bombardment of repulsion and the grotesque. There’s more blood splattered, more open wound shown, and more consumption of fecal matter than the first one. And yet, the film failed to make me feel sick. Going in, I had psychologically prepared myself to see the worst. It turns out my idea of “the worst” is more disgusting (or original) than what Tom Six imagined. Yes, I was partially grossed out, but more than anything I was bored. It was as if a previously hilarious joke stopped being sudden all of a sudden. It’s as if the meme had reached a point of over-saturation and exhaustion.

If I wanted to give the film more credit than it deserves, I’d call it a schlockier, gorier, and less entertaining version of Eraserhead. Tom Six opted to shoot his sequel in black and white instead of color to create a contrast between his two films (sterile in the first one vs. disgust and dirtiness in this one). Whether intentionally or not, David Lynch‘s experimental came to mind.

If I wanted to be honest about HC2, I’d call it a boring film that’s done in by its own hype and the director’s shortcomings as a filmmaker.

Fidel Martinez is the Managing Editor of Tu Vez. You can check out his vile rants on twitter.

In all fairness, these viewers don’t seem genuinely scared or upset and could be watching a flicker for all we know. Or The Zookeeper. But, for their sake, I’m hoping it’s the flicker.

Somehow makes it a little more jolly.

The screengrab above may look like something from "Mythbusters" but it’s actually a shot from the new teaser trailer for gory sequel The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence). The teaser features Tom Six, the blood-spattered director, walking through a parking garage while his voice-over prepares us for a film far more shocking than the original.

We’re then introduced to one of the film’s lead actors — dude with a box on his head. Good to see that guy making a comeback.

Check out the trailer after the jump…

As if the The Human Centipede isn’t a sick enough concept, now there’s a porn parody. The Human Sexipede is sure to be jam packed with ATM that the captive test subjects will think is icky at first, but then totally embrace. The final line from the mad scientist in the trailer really sums up the entire production. If any of you guys see the full movie let me know how it is. I’m going to stand by the fact I haven’t already watched it ten times today.

Check out The Human Sexipede trailer after the jump…

‘The Human Sexipede’ Porn Parody of ‘Human Centipede’ – Watch more horror

What has six arms, six legs, and a whole lot of chlamydia? The Human Sex-ipede. Yes, they’re making a porn parody of the European shock-horror film, The Human Centipede.

For those of you unfamiliar with the film, The Human Centipede is about an insane German doctor who sews people together, anus to mouth. With an ATM fan base already built in, the porn parody was the next logical step, according to famed porn parody director Lee Roy Myers.

"I thought, ‘you know what, this is the perfect concept to base a parody around,’" Myers said. "Anything putting human faces that close to genitals deserves the porn treatment."

There is nothing I could possibly add to that statement. (Movie Line)

What could be more fun than a movie about a mad doctor surgically attaching people, anus-to-mouth, in a sadistic human daisy chain? Absolutely nothing! But one thing comes close.

Behold, The Human Centipede 80′s style arcade game from I-Mockery! It’s all the fun of the ATM masterpiece merged with the Atari classic, Centipede.

Your goal is to shoot all the revolting human centipedes before they reach you, but watch out for cops! The law doesn’t take kindly to improvised surgical experimentation. Fascists. (MovieLine)

Play The Human Centipede 80′s style arcade game after the jump.

Click here to play The Human Centipede 80′s style arcade game.