Dim your monitor and check out the nine worst movie hangovers.

Die Hard With A Vengeance

The most annoying thing about terror is that it never strikes when it’s convenient. Nobody knows this better than John McClane. In Die Hard With A Vengeance, he finds himself pulled into a dangerous game of cat and mouse with a terrorist looking to avenge his brother’s murder at the hands of McClane. Okay. First of all, his brother was a real dick. But you just can’t talk any sense into these terrorist guys, so he attacks McClane the morning after he went on an epic bender, forcing him to fight for his life in Harlem, stop a bomb from exploding on a train way downtown, and solve a number of annoying riddles. Have you ever tried to kill an elite team of international thugs singlehanded with a splitting headache? It’s not fun. He probably had to take an epic crap as well.

The Hangover

Imagine waking with a terrible headache to find a chicken in your hotel room. Add to that a tiger, a total mess, a missing tooth and missing best friend. The last thing you want to do after a night of debauchery is piece together the events of the previous evening. I prefer to eat something greasy and watch whatever’s on Syfy. Even if Richard Grieco is in it.

A League Of Their Own

When former Cubs slugger Jimmy Dugan is assigned to manage the all-female Rockford Peaches, he sees it as a huge step down from his former glory. And so, he treats it like a complete joke. Showing up to practice and games either completely hammered or woefully hungover. You do have to give props to the guy though. He knows how to make an introduction.

In honor of this online blackout, I’ve decided to evaluate the best blackouts in film. I’d better get to it before Wikipedia goes dark.

Summer of Sam

This Spike Lee joint takes place in the Bronx during the summer of 1977. Residents live in fear of the Son of Sam killer and a curfew has been put into effect. As tensions in the Bronx escalate, so does the temperature, resulting a heatwave that knocks out the power. This causes things to reach a fever pitch as suspects are subjected to mob justice.

Blackoutiness: 4 out of 5

The Trigger Effect

In this early directing effort, screenwriter David Koepp proved that he loooooves blackouts. The story of civilization’s quick breakdown in the face of no electricity is seen through the eyes of Kyle MacLachan as a husband and father struggling to get his family to safety amidst a world of gun-toting paranoids.

Also, it’s worthwhile for Elisabeth Shue topless in mom jeans.

Blackoutiness: 5 out of 5

Below are some fine films (except for maybe Saving Silverman) that demonstrate how the fairer sex can sometimes be totally unfair.

8. Ginger McKenna (Sharon Stone) – Casino

She’s a succubus, pure and simple. Imagine your dream girl. She could very well look like Sharon Stone. Then give her a crippling coke and pill habit. Then see to it that she bangs out your best friend, who happens to be Joe Pesci (Hey! You’re friends with Joe Pesci!) and also regularly grinds on her ex, a pimp named Lester.

I’m not done yet.

Then she ties your child to the bed so she can go out drinking. Then she tries to hightail it with James Woods (Lester) with all your money.

Is she still your dream girl? No. She’s your nightmare girl. A few months later you find out that she collapsed in a motel room hallway and died.

You’re smiling right now, aren’t you?

7. Debbie (Leslie Mann) – Knocked Up

No brainer. The character Mann played was the very definition of shrill. Not only was she bitchy to her husband, Paul Rudd’s character, but to Ben, Seth Rogen’s character, and even the doorman at the nightclub, played by Craig Robinson. Who can be mean to Craig Robinson? That’s insane. Her character was so abrasive that it caused Katherine Heigl to speak out against director Judd Apatow for vilifying women.

The final straw comes when she attempts to kick the schlubby Rogen out of the delivery room, only to have him blow up at her and kick her out. When he does this, she finally gains respect for him, which is endearing, but also means that she knows how awful she actually is, making her more awful.

Paul Rudd could do a lot better.

6. Patty (Sarah Silverman) – School of Rock

She essentially exists as the impetus for Jack Black to start schooling the kids in rock, so it’s natural that she would be written as a stone-cold B to her boyfriend. Sure, Silverman plays the sweet crass thing well, but when she turns it on, she can be a snippy as she is funny. This is what happens when sweet girls use their powers for evil instead of good.

5. Jenny (Robin Wright) – Forrest Gump

Well, he was there for her when her she was being abused in her house, he saved her from near-suicide in the disco era, and he cared for her while she was dying of AIDS. What did she do for him? She slept with him then popped in and out of his life as she saw fit, taking his help, then running away to go bang whatever stereotype of the era was around (hippie, clubrat, whatever).

Forrest may not be a smart man, but he does know what love is. Which is more than we can say for Jenny. Even when she shows up with Haley Joel Osment, it’s too little, too late. My baby mama’s have the decency to tell me that I’m the father while they’re still carrying. It’s common courtesy, and we’re losing it in this age of The Twitter and Friendster.

4. Melissa (Rachel Harris) – The Hangover

Sure, she’s a character crafted to be over-the-top ridiculous so we don’t feel bad when Ed Helm’s Stu strays from his vows and bangs out Heather Graham’s stripper, but you know what? It works?

Her disdain for everything that’s not about her is palpable. Just thinking of it makes me want to roger Heather Graham right now.

3. Judith (Amanda Peet) – Saving Silverman

The title of this goes beyond the millennial convention of simply slapping a title of (blank)ing (blank) onto a film and watching the money roll in. Silverman’s best friends, played by Steve Zahn and Jack Black really are trying to save him. So I guess technically, it could be said that Jack Black is a savior. It needn’t be, but it could.

Peet’s character is pretty much awful from the moment we see her, but Jason Bigg’s protagonist is willing to look past all that cause she’s pretty hot. That’s something we can all forgive. The fact that she keeps thwarting the bumbling, well-intentioned friends just fans our fury. Steve Zahn doesn’t deserve to be treated that way.

2. (Cookie) Catherine O’Hara – Best in Show

While most entrants on this list are unspeakably cruel at worst and painfully grating at best, Catherine O’Hara’s Cookie Fleck is just unspeakably misguided. Well, that and it sounds like she used to be a ginormous slut with most everyone in the incestuous world of international dog shows. Who knew that they were having so much sex?

However, it’s easy enough to hide a promiscuous past, but Cookie seems to throw it in the face of her husband, played by a patient, but at-the-end-of-his-rope Eugene Levy. He dismisses the allegations playfully, claiming that she has had “dozens of boyfriends,” but she quickly interrupts him to chime in, “Hundreds.”

1. Linda (Angela Featherstone) – The Wedding Singer

Well, she no-shows on their wedding day. That’s sort of a red flag about character right there. Then she shows back up into Robbie’s life as though nothing ever happened, spouting empty apologies. That’s strike two.

When she first bails, she says she could never be with a guy “living in (his) sister’s basement with five kids while (he’s) off every weekend doing wedding gigs at a whoppin’ sixty bucks a pop?” Adam Sandler was completely right. That could have been brought to his attention yesterday. Before the wedding.

These links have very little to do with ponies:

Captain America Is All That (MovieLine)

How New York Sees The West (BarstoolSports)

Why It’s Okay To Miss Comic Con (Holytaco)

Paranormal 3 Trailer! (FilmDrunk)

Ariana Grande Upskirt Performance (CelebJihad)

Historically Accurate Ninja Turtles (Unreality)

Adam West On Comic Con (PopEater)

Tug Of War Is Better In Japan (Smosh)

The Comic Con Survival Guide (Ranker)

The Hottest Girls In Entourage History (BroBible)

Hayley Atwell Hotness (Maxim)

Hot Snow White Pics (Pajiba)

Pat Barry Loses Wisdom Teeth (CagePotato)

Star Wars Old Republic Comic Con Trailer (GameFront)

Hispanic Comic Book Characters (TuVez)

It’s hard to feel sorry for a guy who is dumb enough to tweet a picture of his own dong to the entire world. But on some level, I do feel pity. I imagine Weiner has spent his entire life dealing with ridicule stemming from his unfortunate name. And now, thanks to this scandal, he’s reliving the years of torment on a national scale. But it’s important for him to keep in mind that despite his situation, he’s not the first person to get caught in a wiener related mishap. Of course, all of these examples are fictional, so take it for what it’s worth.

Anchorman

When it comes to inappropriate erections, we’ve all been there. Well, I suppose we haven’t all been there. Women and eunuchs don’t usually get boners. But at any rate, Ron Burgundy came down with an embarrassing erection while talking to a co-worker. I don’t think she believed him when he claimed it was an optical illusion brought about by the fabric pattern and the pleats.

Porky’s

Intentionally sticking your penis through a hole that leads to a girl’s locker room isn’t embarrassing, per se. It might be considered sexual assault, but that’s a whole different matter. No, the embarrassment in this scene stems not from the exposed wiener, but rather the attempt to capture it by Ms. Balbricker. Having your junk pulled off by a middle-aged lesbian isn’t exactly something to brag about.

The Hangover

It’s embarrassing to be stripped naked and locked in the trunk of a car. It’s even more embarrassing when your penis is almost small enough to slip past the censors. Honestly, I’m not even sure I needed to black out this picture. Out of respect for actor Ken Jeong, I’m going to assume that it has more to do with the camera angles and the lighting then the size of his junk, and that he’s a grower, not a show’er.

Tomcats

In Tomcats, the groomsmen end up taking a large dose of Viagra. This results in a lot of embarrassing erections during the wedding ceremony. You know what’s even more embarrassing than that scene? The fact that this film exists.

Life of Brian

Imagine opening your window while naked, only to have a few hundred people staring back at you. That’s the problem with being followed as a messiah: no privacy.

Bad Lieutenant

At least the “Bad Lieutenant” is alone in this scene, so it’s not as embarrassing as it could have been. But there’s still something sadly pathetic about watching a guy, drugged out of his head, thrashing around in the nude. It’s not a public humiliation, but his life has devolved to the point where it’s embarrassing on a whole different level.

American Pie

Getting walked in on naked is one thing. Getting walked in on by your parents with porn on the TV and a sock over your cock is a whole lot worse. It’s not as bad as getting caught nailing a pie, but it’s close.

Little Fockers

There are very few things in this world that are more awkward than seeing your father-in-law’s junk. One of those things is injecting his junk full of adrenaline in order to relieve a four hour erection. Unfortunately for the makers of this film, embaressing doesn’t always equal funny.

There’s Something About Mary

High school is awkward enough without getting your “frank and beans” stuck in a zipper on your prom night. Add the police, paramedics, and the girl’s family into the mix, and you’ve got the most embarrassing wiener scene of all time.

Note: There are many comedy sequels worse than the films listed here. But in our opinion, these are the most disappointing.

Major League II (1994)

Major League is to Major League II what Wesley Snipes is to Omar Epps. This is due, in no small part, to the fact that Omar Epps replaced Wesley Snipes in the role of Willie Mays Hayes for the second installment. At any rate, the first film was fun to watch because it involved a group of underdogs overcoming the odds. Once they won their division at the end of the first film, they were no longer underdogs, so who gives a damn?

Sister Act II: Back in the Habit (1993)

Forcing a degenerate character played by Whoopi Goldberg to live with a bunch of devout nuns just screams comedy, especially if you’re a middle-aged woman. But for the sequel, Whoopi’s character returns of her own free will to help teach at the school. Since she wasn’t forced to be there, the tension was gone. Besides that, adding a class full of teenage minority stereotypes really didn’t help.

Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995)

The first Ace Ventura was stupid, yet hilarious. The sequel was also stupid, but was lacking in the hilarity department. Save for the Rhino-birth scene, I’m not sure there’s a single laugh to be found in this horribly thrown together follow-up.

Porky’s II: The Next Day (1983)

How do you make a comedy about teens trying to get laid after all of the characters have already gotten laid? In all fairness, American Pie II was a tolerable film, so it can be done. But don’t ask the people behind Porky’s II how to do it, because they clearly don’t know.

Blue Brothers 2000 (1998)

I don’t use the word atrocity often, mainly because I don’t go to a lot of war-crime tribunals. But to fans of the original Blues Brothers, this film was like the Mai Lai Massacre. And as with Mai Lai, most of those responsible were never held accountable for their actions.

Weekend at Bernie‘s II (1993)

Weekend at Bernie’s managed to stretch an already thin premise to the breaking point, but it resulted in a surprisingly tolerable film. The sequel had no such luck, and quickly devolved into a first-class shit show. Given the nature of the film, I’m willing to suspend disbelieve to a point. But once the reanimated corpse was magically dancing around on its own, I called shenanigans. Unfortunately, I was watching the film by myself because everyone else was at the prom, so no one heard me.

Teen Wolf Too (1987)

Considering the great work Jason Bateman has done over the past ten years, it’s easy to forget he was in Teen Wolf Too. But I didn’t forget. And I never friggen will. On a side note, if a sequel has the word “too” in it, there’s a 99% chance it’s going to suck. Which brings us “too” our next film.

Look Who’s Talking Too (1990)

Although it is seldom accomplished, there’s always a need to try and improve upon the original when making a sequel. If your big idea to improve upon your film is to add a voice over of Roseanne, you might as well not try at all. Although compared to Look Who’s Talking Now, this film looks like The Godfather II.

Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003)

Technically, this film is a prequel, so maybe it doesn’t belong on the list. Oh well.

In theory, the idea of the Star Wars prequels was promising because the original films set up an entire universe of colorful characters that people cared about, complete with an interesting back story. Sure, it didn’t turn out well, but the potential was there. Was there any potential for a Dumb and Dumber prequel starring two guys who look like Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels? We’re not talking about the origin of the Jedi, here. We’re talking about a couple of morons. Who cares how they met?

Evan Almighty (2007)

Man, Jim Carrey films are really prevalent on this list (Note: I meant the original films: Dumb and Dumber, Ace Ventura, Bruce Almighty). That said, he can’t be held accountable for Evan Almighty. I know the film is supposed to have a heartfelt message about faith, but what kind of loving god would allow a movie like this to get made?

European Vacation (1985)

Vacation was a film that just about everybody could relate to. At one point or another, most of us have been forced to partake in the forced family fun that is a road trip. On the other hand, most of us have no taken part in an all-expenses paid European adventure that we won on a pig-themed game show. The franchise redeemed itself with Christmas Vacation, probably because almost everyone has had to deal with family members during the holidays. But, everything went back to hell with Vegas Vacation.

Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear (1991)

The problem with making a sequel to a parody film is that the characters have almost no room to grow. Sure, you can stick them in a different, crazier situations, but it can’t help but feel like a retread of the original plot. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, if you’re in the mood for more of the same, and the Naked Gun II isn’t a horrible film on its own. But when compared to the original, there’s really no reason for it to exist.

Austin Powers II (1999)

Taking a swinging spy from the 60′s and dropping him into the post Cold-War era made for one of the funnier comedies of the past twenty years. But putting the fish back into water via a time travel plot just didn’t work. Instead of watching a guy make a fool out of himself, the sequel showed us an idiot interacting with a bunch of other like-minded idiots. That’s not funny, and after a while, it’s just annoying. To this day, any time someone says “yeah, baby,” I want to punch them in the face.

Caddyshack II (1988)

Caddyshack is one of the all-time classic comedy films. Unfortunately, Caddyshack II is one of the all-time worst sequels. Why is there such a drastic difference? The cast! Besides cameos by Chevy Chase and the gopher, I don’t think there’s a single character from the original film. What’s the point of making a sequel when the only connection to the original is the setting (Bushwood County Club)? That’s like making a sequel to The Big Lebowski, and having the only connection be the bowling alley.

Ghostbusters II (1989)

14 photosWarner Bros. Releases Too Many 'Hangover Part II' Stills

Yesterday, the trailer for The Hangover Part II hit the interwebs, and at first glance, the movie looks a lot like the original. Don’t get me wrong, we’re not saying that’s a bad thing. Even if Todd Philips made a scene-for-scene remake, I’d still pay money to see it. But even so, I couldn’t help but notice the glaring similarities. Of course, when you bring back the entire cast of a film, there’s bound to be some overlap, but this goes well beyond that. For example…

Big Wedding – Big Wedding

Both films revolve around a wedding. Not a big deal. In a group of friends, you’re going to have multiple weddings.

Alan Gives a Wacky Toast – Alan Gives a Wacky Toast

OK, I get Alan giving a toast to his friends at a bachelor party, but who the hell would let him speak at the rehearsal dinner? That’s poor planning on Stu’s part.

Missing Guy No One Cares About – Missing Guy No One Cares About

Just like the first film, a character no one cares about goes missing. They might as well have named both of these guys “Mr. MacGuffin.” Honestly, if the groom had died in the first film, it still would have been a hilarious movie.

Stu’s Missing Tooth – Stu’s Facial Tattoo

Poor Stu. First he pulls out his own tooth. Now he’s done gone and got himself a face tattoo!

Tag-Along Baby – Tag-Along Monkey

In the first film, it was funny to see a group of hungover bastards taking care of a baby. In this film, the same can be said for the monkey. As a bonus, there’s always a chance of a monkey attack, which is nice.

Clues In Pockets – Clues In Pockets

In both films, the men must search for clues in their pockets in order to piece together the previous evening. And in both films, wackiness ensues.

Trip to a Chapel – Trip to a Monastery

Church, monastery, whatever. Six of one, a half dozen of the other. After all, Christ is Christ. Am I right?

Baby Jerking It – Monkey Sucking It

In the first film, a baby jerks off. In the second, a monkey sucks off. Sorry the baby picture is of such a low quality, but I didn’t want to run too many searches with the keywords “baby” and “jerkoff.”

Convicted Rapist – Accused Rapist

Mike Tyson was the big surprise cameo in the first film. And while Phillips has denied that Bill Clinton will be appearing in part two, I still think there’s a 50/50 chance.

Instead Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel director Betty Thomas is rumored to be the top choice and reports are that she will accept. Here’s hoping she doesn’t make Isla eat her own poop. That’s much more her husband‘s style of humor. (LA Times)

Links that are not secret:

Rejected Eagleheart Billboards (AdultSwim)

The Greatest Japanese Power Ranger Battle Ever (MovieLine)

Six Alternatives to Walking, Because Walking is for Assholes (HolyTaco)

James Bond is an Old, Sad Lesbian (FilmDrunk)

Miley Cyrus Grows a Mustache (CelebJihad)

Beating Super Mario 64 Without Using the A Button (Unreality)

Rango Wins Box Office Shootout (MovieFone)

Nick Cage Escorted Out of Bar After Fight (PopEater)

The Ten Most Annoying Facebook Posts By Your Parents (Smosh)

The 10 Most Underwhelming Videogame Boss Fights (Ranker)

Taco Shop Brawl (BroBible)

Today’s Girl: Mia Wasikowska (Maxim)

Five Actors Who Have Morphed Into Middle-Aged Women (Johnny Depp)

Hunger Games Casting Wishlist (NextMovie)

Jens Pulver Wins With a Broken Foot (CagePotato)

The Five Best Spring Skiiking Festivals (MadeMan)

Dragon Age Cosplay Gallery (GameFront)

Tales From the Back of a Cab (TuVez)

_{Mel Gibson runs with a pack.}

The Mel Gibson comeback express is leaving the station, and the first stop is The Hangover 2. The second stop is some sort of “work camp.”

In an interview with “Extra!,” Jodie Foster confirmed rumors that Gibson, a close friend, will appear in the comedy sequel, adding that Mel “really liked the humor in that first movie.” I never would have guessed that a misogynistic comedy that leans heavily on racial stereotypes and homosexual slurs would appeal to Gibson, but I guess you learn something new every day.

While Gibson will not play himself in the film, not much is known about his role, although there have been rumors about him playing a tattoo artist. Will the part involve Ed Helm’s character and his grandmother’s holocaust ring? Only time will tell. (Deadline)

Thanks to the run-away success of The Hangover, expectations are high for director Todd Phillips. And if actor Robert Downey Jr. is to be believed, Philips’ latest film, Due Date, should live up to those expectations.

The film costars Downey and Zach Galifianakis, who became a household name thanks to his role in The Hangover. The two play a mismatched pair racing across the country to witness the birth of Downey’s character’s first child.

Downey has gone on record claiming the film is “the second greatest movie” he’s made, the first being his role in the 1995 made-for-TV film, “Mr. Willowby’s Christmas Tree.” (/Film)

Watch Planes, Trains, and Automobiles fused with The Hangover after the jump.

The Playlist has alerted us to an interview with Mike Tyson that is as candid as you’d expect from the man who once threatened to "f*ck you until you love him." It all came about when Mike wandered into a Las Vegas radio station unexpectedly after a trip to the dentist. If you’re familiar with David After The Dentist, you know that you’re in for a treat. Here are some of my favorite parts.

On The Hangover:

“I was doing that to supply my drug habit. I’m sorry I’m coming at you guys like this… I said, ‘Wow, This is going to be really good. We’re going to sell this stuff on 42nd street on bootleg and make a lot of money.’ This is my best thinking on drugs… It wasn’t that way. It was an international success."

On becoming a Vegan:

“I became a Vegan. Vegan is where no animal products. No livestock products. Nothing."

On his slow-transformation to vampirism:

"My personal life is so isolated right now. I don’t go anywhere unless I’m invited." (except for when he wanders into radio stations of course. – Ed.)

And on the arduous task of wiping one’s butt when weighing 350 lbs:

“It was hard to wipe my butt… I was sweating like some kind of guy from a moon project or something."

Awesome. MTV needs to find a way to get him into the "Jersey Shore" house. (ESPN Radio)

Douche lovers around the world have been salivating since December when rumors of an "Entourage" movie began to surface. Now, producer Mark Wahlberg has laid out some specifics, saying that the show will most likely last two more seasons before it’s made into a feature film. He also dropped hints about possible plans for a wildly original plot.

"In the trailer, you see [Ari Gold and his associate, Lloyd] waking up together in Vegas no knowing what happened," Wahlberg imagined. "It would be pretty cool!"

Jesus Christ? As long as we’re blatantly ripping off Vegas movies, why not go the Casino route and have Vince and the gang beaten to death in a secluded cornfield? That would be even funnier than the time Drama banged the furry (LOL!), mainly because they’d all be bleeding and gasping for air (LMAO)! (First Showing)

^{You’re powerless to resist the confidence.}

Legendary cocksman Jack Nicholson has been offered a role in LASt VEGAS, a comedy centering around a group of elderly cooz-hounds who reunite in Las Vegas. While there, two of the friends fall for the same woman. Nicholson’s potential character is the playboy of the group who has yet to resign his bachelorhood. It’s being described as Grumpy Old Men meets The Hangover. Some might say that’s also the perfect way to describe Rip Torn. (Vulture)

Though Tom Petty lyrics would lead you to believe Reseda to be a haven for vampires, Hot Tub Time Machine director Steve Pink is aiming to set the record straight with Werewolves of Reseda. The story, which is about a group of guys gradually turning into werewolves, is being described as The Hangover with a horror twist. Wouldn’t that just be The Hangover with more Carrot Top footage?

At any rate, it’s getting all kinds of werewolf-y in here. Off the top of my head I can think of six or seven werewolf-centric projects already released or in production. Between all that Twilight stuff, The Wolfman, MTV’s "Teen Wolf" series, MMA Werewolves, The Monster Squad, David Hayter’s Wolves, and Alec Baldwin hosting the Oscars, there’s never been an easier time for really hairy dudes to get work. (/Film)

I enjoyed The Hangover just as much as the next guy, but Crash it is not. I kid, I kid. But seriously, a high concept comedy winning a nomination for best picture? I can see that dumb biatch holding a globe that is golden taking The Hangover up on its offer, but Oscar ain’t gonna have none of that sillyiness at his ceremony. The Hollywood Foreign Press practically thrives off of fat, bearded men carrying babies in Bjorns. If you want Oscar to recognize the material, either the fat, bearded man or the baby has to be retarded, and not fully, mind you. 

Good luck, The Hangover. I hope you find what you’re looking for. Keep in mind though, there’s only one thing that makes The Hollywood Foreign Press cream harder than fat, bearded men, and that’s glitzy, glamorous musicals. The cast of Nine is going to tap dance all over your ass. (via FirstShowing)

^{Above: Mr Chow (Ken Jeong) makes a balls-out attack on Phil (Bradley Cooper).  Chow’s balls are fully out in the theatrical release.}

But what about other scenes, guys who find themselve fighting in outfits that strike us today as either ridiculous or insanely awesome, or most likely, both? Superheroes, of course, would be cheating, because we all know they almost always look nuts cleaning up the city in their plastic nipples and oversized codpieces. 

We’re here today to talk about dudes in fight scenes who throw caution – and sometimes fashion – to the wind by choosing to fight in some pretty unorthodox, but nonetheless awesome ensembles.  90% cotton, 10% rayon and 150% guts.   That makes 250% – an impossible number unless you’re one of these guys or a basketball coach giving a halftime speech when your team is getting sodomized.

Alright, enough talk.  Let’s get it on!  In whatever we happen to be wearing right now. 

PEE-WEE’S BIG ADVENTURE

Sometime in your life you’ll think the rich fat kid next door stole your bike.  Sometimes, when that rich fat kid is lounging in his indoor pool, you’ll have to sneak into his house and beat it out of him.  Sometimes you might be wearing a dress suit that’s a little too small for you.  But will that stop you from jumping in the pool and trying to drown the fat rich kid you think stole your bike? If you are one P.W. Herman, it most certainly will not. (The buildup begins around 1:45 of the clip below) 

THEY LIVE!

Sometimes you find a pair of sunglasses that really really work for you. Perhaps they just compliment the shape of your face perfectly, or perhaps they let you see a hidden world that aliens have designed to keep us humans in bondage. It’s usually either/or but sometimes both.  And what if the dude you want to help you just won’t try on the sunglasses to literally save his life? Well, if you’re Roddy Piper, you just have to try and kick his ass.  [Editor's Note: Screenjunkies contributor Ross Conkey recommends never crossing Keith David in real life, even if it's to save his life.  Keith David can take care of himself.]

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN

People always make a big deal that in creating Cap’n Jack Sparrow, Johnny Depp aped Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones, and how cool it was since piracy back in the day was sort of like rock n’ roll.  But nobody ever complimented Depp on his choice of wardrobe.  All those weird braids and bandanas and buckles clink and bang around when he’s in a serious sword fight.  He’s like a one-man John Bonham. 

ROAD HOUSE

So maybe you thought the only man who could pull of the denim on denim look was Jay Leno. But let’s say you are on of the best bouncers in the business.  All sorts of people are going to try and test you, especially guys in really tight jeans with matching shirts. But even after you kick the first guy’s ass, the buttons on your shirt keep getting unbuttoned lower.  In this first example, Swayze keeps the top two button of his shirt open.

Later, we see him throw down with three, possibly four buttons un-buttoned.

And finally, as the movie culminates, Swayze considers applying his death claw to the man who has tormented him, a mere one button keeps his shirt intact at all. It’s a rare nexus of movie magic and excellent continuity.  Kudos to Road House script supervisor, whose name should be listed on imdb but is not.

THE BOY WHO COULD FLY

This is mostly a film about an a girl befriending her neighbor, an autistic kid who, it turns out, can fly. But in a riveting subplot, her little brother, played by a pre-"Wonder Years" Fred Savage, has to fight some bullies. And to gear up, (starting at 0:41) he dresses up in all camouflage, puts on a hat with neck flaps, fills his water gun with piss, loads up his hot wheels with jellybeans and raw steak, and goes to war.

Alright that’s what we got, tough guy!  What are your favorite unorthodox fightin’ suits from film?

Other Junk You Might Like:

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              John Travolta & Denzel Washington’s Career Path (Infographic)

Check out these other morning headlines…

Just because Tony Kaye wants to direct Mickey Rourke’s script doesn’t mean that Tony Kaye will get to direct Mickey Rourke’s script. (The Playlist)

Ed Helms really yanked his tooth for The Hangover. (Cinema Blend)

JJ Abrams set to produce Mission: Impossible 4: The Impossible Mission. (/Film)

Todd McFarlane is delusional. (MTV)

Hilarious book Ghosts/Aliens to be adapted into kinda-alright Comedy Central series. (Dread Central)

England loves our poop. (io9)

NEW District 9 trailer. (Pajiba)

EDITOR’S NOTE: After posting what we thought was a funny riff on Mike Tyson – essentially a fake "on set journal" kept by the famed fighter during his work on The Hangover - some of our readers made it known that in late May, Tyson suffered the tragic loss of his 4-year-old daughter, Exodus. 

We agree with these readers that right now is not the time to be placing a humorous spotlight on Tyson, and have removed the original post. 

Screen Junkies offers our sincere condolences to Tyson and his family.