Screen Junkies » The Greatest Muppet Movie of All Time http://www.screenjunkies.com Movie Reviews & TV Show Reviews Fri, 26 Sep 2014 21:02:10 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Deciphering ‘The Muppet Movie’ Cameos http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/deciphering-the-muppet-movie-camoes/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/deciphering-the-muppet-movie-camoes/#comments Thu, 18 Nov 2010 19:03:30 +0000 Jame Gumb http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=8541 Using the awesome power of the Screen Junkies super computer (The SJ 3000), I was able to determine the most probable roles for those rumored to be appearing in the film, and you can't argue with science. So sit back and see for yourself who will be playing what in the upcoming Muppet Movie.

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Everyday, the list of cameos in the upcoming Muppet movie seems to grow. And while there are plenty of rumors about who will play what, the truth is, no one really knows what’s going on. But fear not, Muppet fans. Using the awesome power of the Screen Junkies super computer (The SJ 3000), I was able to determine the most probable roles for those rumored to be appearing in the film, and you can’t argue with science. So sit back and see for yourself who will be playing what in the upcoming Muppet Movie.

In a traumatic flashback scene, Jean-Claude Van Damme will play the leader of an infamous Belgian pedophile ring that pays Nanny $30,000 USD to use the Muppet Babies in his films. Animal, go bi-bi! Go bi-bi, indeed.
Alan Arkin will play a kindly old man who is savagely beaten to death by Animal after inadvertently triggering the flashback scene described above.
It is rumored that Zach Galifianakis will play a hobo in the film. Our computer says it will be a hobo that everyone really likes, but who is starting to wear on people because he pops up everywhere.
Jack Black will play a ghost who is sent back to warn Zach Galifianakis’ character about the dangers of overexposure.
Kermit took issue with Lady Gaga‘s frog coat and decided to cast her in his own snuff film. Soon, he will lure her to his “private studio” deep in the swamp, where no one can hear the screams. It’s not easy, being reamed.
Chris Cooper plays a right-wing, Christian oil man who is so desperate to stay in the closet that he shoots Gonzo in the head to keep him from spilling the beans.
Danny Trejo will play a vicious enforcer sent to teach Bunsen and Beaker a lesson. The lesson being that if you’re going to make meth in this town, you better clear it with the Cártel de Tijuana.
After a successful lobbying effort via the Internet, Donald Glover landed the role of Fozzie, marking the first time the character will be played by a black man rather than a brown bear.
Rashida Jones will play the actress who only got a part in the new Muppet movie because her father, Quincy Jones, is good friends with Dr. Teeth.
Billy Crystal will play a devout Jew who, despite her strong advances, refuses to pork Ms. Piggy.
Amy Adams will play Rowlf the Dog’s love interest. There’s a “doggy style” joke in there somewhere, but I’ll let you make it.
Jane Lynch isn’t officially on board yet, but if she is cast, it will no doubt be in the role of Big Bird’s long-lost mother.
George Clooney will play a smug actor who, after giving a crappy, self-referential cameo, goes home and bangs any woman he wants while you sit alone and watch on-line porn.

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Lady Gaga Befouls Cast of ‘The Muppets’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/lady-gaga-befouls-cast-of-the-muppets/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/lady-gaga-befouls-cast-of-the-muppets/#comments Fri, 12 Nov 2010 06:51:52 +0000 Jame Gumb http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=8051 In the latest Muppet movie, one name stands out like a brown stain on an otherwise clean pair of tighty whities: Lady Gaga.

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Jason Segel has added nine new cast members to his upcoming Muppet movieJack Black (Tropic Thunder) Paul Rudd (Role Models), Jane Lynch (Glee), Danny Trejo (Machete), Eric Stonestreet “Modern Family“), Donald Glover (“Community”), John KrasinskiThe Office“) and Ed Helms (“The Office“) have all been confirmed for the ensemble. However, one name stands out like a brown stain on an otherwise clean pair of tighty whities: Lady Gaga.

That’s right; the woman who struts around in an outfit made of Kermit the Frog heads has been cast in the latest Muppet film. Unless she’s playing an evil villain or is killed off in the first 20 seconds, I have to seriously question this decision. In my last Muppet related article, I said that Segel could name the film “The Cancer Causing Anti-American Puppet Crapstravaganza,” and I’d still go see it twice. Well, Lady Gaga alters the deal. Sure, I’ll still see it twice, but once is definitely going to be a matinee. (Collider)

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It’s Time to Get Things Started: A First Look at Jason Segel’s ‘The Muppets’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/its-time-to-get-things-started-a-first-look-at-jason-segals-the-muppets/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/its-time-to-get-things-started-a-first-look-at-jason-segals-the-muppets/#comments Wed, 10 Nov 2010 11:59:32 +0000 Jame Gumb http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=7523 They could call it “The Cancer Causing Anti-American Puppet Crapstravaganza,” and I’d still go see it twice.

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It’s time to play the music, you sons of bitches! It’s time to light the damn lights! It’s time to meet the mother-loving Muppets!

Behold, the first behind-the-scenes look at the new Jason Segel film, The Muppets (or at least the first look that wasn’t scanned straight out of a magazine). Based on this picture alone, I feel confident in saying that this will be the greatest Muppet movie of all time. Maybe that’s because the film was formerly titled The Greatest Muppet Movie Of All Time. I don’t know why it was shortened the title, but what I do know is they could call it “The Cancer Causing Anti-American Puppet Crapstravaganza,” and I’d still go see it twice. To quote Film School Rejects, “A Muppet Movie by any other name…”

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The New ‘Muppet Movie’ Gets Some Humans (Almost) http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/the-new-muppet-movie-gets-some-humans-almost/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/the-new-muppet-movie-gets-some-humans-almost/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 The Muppets are pretty damn awesome all by themselves. Why someone would take a perfectly good Muppet movie and add humans to it is something I'll never know, but it seems the film's screenwriter, Jason Segal, is doing just that. Aside from casting himself in the film, Segal is bringing a whole host of skinjobs with him. Amy Adams, Chris Cooper, and Rashida Jones are reported very close to signing on to the project. "Adams would play Segal's girlfriend, Cooper would play the greedy villain, and Jones would play an ABC executive." The plot involves the Muppets getting their show back together in order to save a movie studio. Cooper wants to buy the studio so he can drill for oil underneath its property, but Kermit the Frog is all like, "F**k that noise, son!" Unfortunately, they'll probably cut that last line out. Ya know, for the kids. (THR via Vulture)

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The Muppets are pretty damn awesome all by themselves. Why someone would take a perfectly good Muppet movie and add humans to it is something I’ll never know, but it seems the film’s screenwriter, Jason Segal, is doing just that. Aside from casting himself in the film, Segal is bringing a whole host of skinjobs with him.

Amy Adams, Chris Cooper, and Rashida Jones are reported very close to signing on to the project. "Adams would play Segal’s girlfriend, Cooper would play the greedy villain, and Jones would play an ABC executive." The plot involves the Muppets getting their show back together in order to save a movie studio. Cooper wants to buy the studio so he can drill for oil underneath its property, but Kermit the Frog is all like, "F**k that noise, son!"

Unfortunately, they’ll probably cut that last line out. Ya know, for the kids. (THR via Vulture)

 

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The Muppets Join Forces with Pixar to Kick All Kinds of Ass http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/the-muppets-join-forces-with-pixar-to-kick-all-kinds-of-ass/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/the-muppets-join-forces-with-pixar-to-kick-all-kinds-of-ass/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Good news for people who like things that are unbelievably awesome. Jason Segel and the team involved with the next Muppet movie recently met with the bigwigs at Pixar to discuss ways to make your head explode. Some of the members of the so-called "Pixar Brain Trust" -- filmmakers John Lasseter, Brad Bird, Pete Docter, Andrew Stanton, Michael Arndt, Bob Peterson and president Ed Catmull -- were there for the consultations. Docter is a particularly avid Muppets fan, so he almost certainly was one of the attendees. On the Disney side, Muppets director James Bobin and producers David Hoberman and Todd Lieberman were likely in the room along with Segel. While plot details are hard to come by, as long as they don't have Kermit and Fozzie experimenting with homosexuality and adopting African children, I'll pay to see it twice. And even if they did go that route, with this kind of talent behind the film, it's hard to imagine how it could end up sucking. In fact, I haven't been this excited about a film's prospects since I first heard that an unfettered George Lucas was working on a little film called Phantom Menace. (THR)

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Good news for people who like things that are unbelievably awesome. Jason Segel and the team involved with the next Muppet movie recently met with the bigwigs at Pixar to discuss ways to make your head explode.

Some of the members of the so-called "Pixar Brain Trust" — filmmakers John Lasseter, Brad Bird, Pete Docter, Andrew Stanton, Michael Arndt, Bob Peterson and president Ed Catmull — were there for the consultations. Docter is a particularly avid Muppets fan, so he almost certainly was one of the attendees. On the Disney side, Muppets director James Bobin and producers David Hoberman and Todd Lieberman were likely in the room along with Segel.

While plot details are hard to come by, as long as they don’t have Kermit and Fozzie experimenting with homosexuality and adopting African children, I’ll pay to see it twice. And even if they did go that route, with this kind of talent behind the film, it’s hard to imagine how it could end up sucking. In fact, I haven’t been this excited about a film’s prospects since I first heard that an unfettered George Lucas was working on a little film called Phantom Menace. (THR)

 

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Happy Birthday Jesus: I Got You a Muppet Movie (Christmas 2011) http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/happy-birthday-jesus-i-got-you-a-muppet-movie-christmas-2011/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/happy-birthday-jesus-i-got-you-a-muppet-movie-christmas-2011/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 When it comes to gifts, what do you get the man who has everything? The answer: a new Muppet movie!Disney has announced the latest installment from Kermit and the gang will hit theaters on Christmas Day, 2011, just in time for the Christ child's birthday.Writen by Jason Segel and directed by "Flight of the Conchords" co-creator James Bobin, the project is aimed at introducing the Muppets to a whole new generation of fans.According to Variety, the film will be up against Steven Spielberg's Adventures of Tintin and Cameron Crowe's We Bought a Zoo, both of which can kiss my ass. It's Muppet time, bitches! Wakka Wakka Wakka!

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When it comes to gifts, what do you get the man who has everything? The answer: a new Muppet movie!

Disney has announced the latest installment from Kermit and the gang will hit theaters on Christmas Day, 2011, just in time for the Christ child’s birthday.

Writen by Jason Segel and directed by "Flight of the Conchords" co-creator James Bobin, the project is aimed at introducing the Muppets to a whole new generation of fans.

According to Variety, the film will be up against Steven Spielberg’s Adventures of Tintin and Cameron Crowe‘s We Bought a Zoo, both of which can kiss my ass. It’s Muppet time, bitches! Wakka Wakka Wakka!

 

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Keep Shia Labeouf Away From ‘The Greatest Muppet Movie of All Time’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/keep-shia-labeouf-away-from-the-greatest-muppet-movie-of-all-time/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/keep-shia-labeouf-away-from-the-greatest-muppet-movie-of-all-time/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 George 'El Guapo' Roush of Latino Review says that "if you hate The Muppets, you hate life." I'll take it one step further. If you hate The Muppets, I hate you. By that logic, I don't hate Nick Stoller, the director of Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Stoller is at the helm of the latest outing from Kermit and the gang, The Greatest Muppet Movie of All Time. I always call The Muppets, the 'gateway drug for comedy nerds.' It's the first comedy we're introduced to, at least people our age. That's what we're going for with that. It will be for the whole family I guess, and for anyone who likes Muppets." Unlike my other childhood favorites (Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Eraserhead), The Muppets are perfect for a remake/reboot since the characters don't age. Well, neither does that "baby" from Eraserhead, but that's pretty much a Muppet when you think about it. At any rate, until Shia Labeouf signs on as the villain who pretends to be interested in porking Miss Piggy so he can kidnap The Muppets and sell them off to "Furries," I'm going to remain optimistic. Waka, Waka, Waka!

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George ‘El Guapo’ Roush of Latino Review says that "if you hate The Muppets, you hate life."

I’ll take it one step further. If you hate The Muppets, I hate you. By that logic, I don’t hate Nick Stoller, the director of Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Stoller is at the helm of the latest outing from Kermit and the gang, The Greatest Muppet Movie of All Time.

I always call The Muppets, the ‘gateway drug for comedy nerds.’ It’s the first comedy we’re introduced to, at least people our age. That’s what we’re going for with that. It will be for the whole family I guess, and for anyone who likes Muppets."

Unlike my other childhood favorites (Star Wars Indiana Jones, Eraserhead), The Muppets are perfect for a remake/reboot since the characters don’t age. Well, neither does that "baby" from Eraserhead, but that’s pretty much a Muppet when you think about it.

At any rate, until Shia Labeouf signs on as the villain who pretends to be interested in porking Miss Piggy so he can kidnap The Muppets and sell them off to "Furries," I’m going to remain optimistic. Waka, Waka, Waka!

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