Like Tim Burton and Wes Anderson, Baz Luhrmann is one of a handful of directors whose name evokes an instantly recognizable visual style. There’s something admirably self-assured about the Australian filmmaker’s ability to insert anything – dance competitions in Strict Ballroom, Shakespeare in Romeo + Juliet, ultra-generic opera plots in Moulin Rouge – in the Luhrmannizer, extruding a homogeneous, garish but fun product that exhausts as much as it exhilarates.

As you’ve probably already seen in the film’s trailer, The Great Gatsby brims full with the kind of optical overdose that Luhrmann has made his signature. The party scenes, which rival the ruffles-and-lace circus madness of Moulin Rouge, have glittery confetti and Disneyland fireworks sparkling above Jazz Age twerkers, swarms of women dressed like sea creatures, and a Williamsburg version of that creepy dancing man from the Six Flags commercials.

The construction and choreography of these set pieces are as sleek as ever, but the rest of the film is astonishingly visually inept. Much too often, Tobey Maguire’s voiceover tells us how the characters feel and how they develop instead of allowing us to see for ourselves. The resulting effect is to make the movie feel less like an adaptation than the next generation of books-on-tape, where we absorb the story aurally. But hey, it comes with some pretty if utterly redundant illustrations if you want to something to look at.

To be fair, Luhrmann is also faithful to F. Scott Fitzgerald’s novel in a good way – in that the plot is lifted pretty much straight from the book. It’s the Roaring Twenties, and Nick Carraway (Maguire), a wide-eyed Midwesterner, moves to the Big Apple to become a bankster like all the other cool kids. His next-door neighbor, Jay Gatsby (Leonardo DiCaprio), is a reclusive young millionaire who ropes him into arranging an accidentally-on-purpose reunion with Gatsby’s first love, Daisy (Carey Mulligan), who happens to be Nick’s cousin. Nick agrees, despite the fact that Daisy is already married to – and has a daughter with – patrician douchebag Tom (Joel Edgerton, Australia’s answer to Benedict Cumberbatch). The small cast of pretty young things also includes Tom’s working-class mistress (Isla Fisher) and girl-golfer Jordan (Elizabeth Debicki), the only character that resembles an actual person, despite existing only to introduce Nick to How Things Are Done in rich-person circles.

As intended by Fitzgerald, Gatsby is a stern fable about the moral hazards of wealth. But a studio film made by a bunch of millionaires and financed by a bunch of billionaires has pretty much no chance at remaining Occupy agitprop. So Luhrmann remade Gatsby for the multiplex as a saga of romantic martyrdom, rendered all the more glamorous and tragic by the opulence the source material condemned. DiCaprio is the perfect actor for this Gatsby, despite speaking in a bizarre accent somewhere between Katharine Hepburn and a fancy horse that’s so wispy it tends disappears by the end of a sentence. He has only a single substantial scene here, but his Gatsby has so many echoes from the Leomania days – his roles from Romeo + Juliet, Titanic, and Catch Me If You Can – that all DiCaprio has to do to summon estrogen devotion is to stand around in spiffy linen suits looking dapper. For her part, Mulligan adds her natural sweetness and kitten eyes to their thoroughly adequate pantomime of mutual adoration.

Unfortunately, the camera returns again and again to Maguire’s Nick, a garrulous nonentity. When the character’s narration doesn’t fast-forward through all the interesting action for you, Maguire’s proximity to DiCaprio distracts from the film’s fiction by reminding you of the BFF stars’ real-life adventures in poonhoundery as the senior partners of the Pussy Posse. Their sexploits would probably embarrass the novel’s Gatsby, but their Hollywood excess would make a great Baz Luhrmann movie.

See it now, See it later, or Run in the other direction? Run in the other direction, unless you need another fix of Jack and Rose.

This is only mildly surprising, considering that Baz Luhrmann used the Jigga-Man/Yeezy track “No Church in the Wild” accompanying the trailer.

And if Jay-Z’s lyrics are to be believed, no one’s more familiar with the American dream. Which I guess would make Beyonce Daisy Buchanan, and would make Kanye West Nick Carraway, which is something we’ve always suspected all along.

So…get your damn hands up.

*ZZZZZZZOOOOOOOOM* “THE HOLLOWNESS OF THE AMERICAN DREAM”

*VROOOOOOOOOM* “DUALITY OF MAN!!!!”

And so on. I apologize to Mr. Gunnin for only knowing two apt literary themes for Gatsby. Too busy living my life in high school, I guess.

So here’s Tobey, Leo, and Mrs. Marcus Mumford doing that thing where they’re really important, acting in a period piece and whatnot.

However, upon closer inspection, yup. That first blush was totally right.

Never mind, though. Baz Luhrmann‘s love of unnecessary spectacle, coupled with delay in the release of the film to May 10, 2013 has afforded him some time to just cram starpower into his take on the F. Scott Fitzgerald masterpiece. Now that this news comes to light, I don’t know how I was ever able to mentally picture the Hamptons party without “Bad Romance,” and “Pussy Control” playing in the background, gently underscoring the seething, troubled upper crust.

I’ll only have to imagine it for about seven more months before Luhrmann puts all the pieces in place for me. Now if only we could get Korn and Crazy Town in that Death of a Salesman adaptation that has been kicking around Hollywood.

While filming in cramped quarters just before Christmas, Luhrmann struck his head while passing beneath a camera crane. He hit the weights that balance the arm and cracked his head open as a result. Three stitches later, he’s fine but shooting was shut down early before the holiday break, giving Leonard DiCaprio more time to hang out on yachts with insanely hot women. I wish him a speedy recovery, though it’s likely nothing hurts him as bad as the reception of Australia did. (THR)

Jason Clarke has closed on one of the remaining key roles in Baz Luhrmann‘s The Great Gatsby, signing on to play George Wilson, a cuckold husband with several big scenes. Clarke has a whole or two in his schedule since the cancellation of his police drama “The Chicago Code.”

Notable TV actor (not a slam, I promise) Josh Stewart has signed on for an undisclosed role in The Dark Knight Rises. My sources tell me that it’s unlikely he will play the role of Bruce Wayne/Batman, but we will of course let you know as soon as possible should that be the case.

Ellie Kemper continues to parlay both”The Office” and Bridesmaids into more high-profile work, scoring a role in the currently-filming-in-New Orleans 21 Jump Street. She will play a sweet chemistry teacher who is also fooled by the identities of several of her students. Let’s all hope the sweet girl gets a happy ending and isn’t used as a human shield in a hostage situation or something.

Billie Joe Armstrong, lead singer and guitarist of Green Day, will be appearing in his band’s American Idiot film adaptation, playing the role of drug dealer St. Jimmy. He played the same role on Broadway last fall, then again when it closed, so this is old hat to him. His sneer will look even more punk in Imax.

Edgerton caught Luhrmann’s eye in part due to his size, as F. Scott Fitzgerald had described Tom Buchanan as “one of the most powerful ends that ever played football at New Haven.” So it sounds like Edgerton will have the onus of having to portray a Yalie, a gentleman of the highest order. Let’s hope he cleans up well. (Deadline)

Those keeping track/who have OCD might remember that Tom Buchanan was going to be played by Ben Affleck, but apparently he had scheduling conflicts with another project – Argo, his next movie as director.

You might not recognize Edgerton or Evans’ names, but it’s possible you’ve seen their faces. Edgerton was in the last Star Wars movie, and Evans was in Clash of the Titans. So I guess it’s possible you saw them but don’t remember because of all the CGI. Good luck to both men – remember to touch gloves and keep it clean. Fight! (The Hollywood Reporter)

I could paraphrase Lurhmann’s thoughts on the casting decision, or I could pass on his words. Here they are:

“It was a surprising result, but Elizabeth’s grasp of the material and her chemical connectivity to Tobey Maguire, in addition to her striking, athletic appearance, had us in a place where we were fully confident and ready to take the leap of giving the role of Jordan Baker to what, I guess, people would term ‘a discovery.’ “

Her Gatsby co-stars include the aforementioned Maguire, Leonardo DiCaprio as the man himself, and Carey Mulligan as Daisy. Debicki’s in for a bit of a trial by fire, having come straight from arts college. I wonder if she knows that Tobey Maguire beats his co-stars if they flub their lines. If she doesn’t, she will. (Deadline)

Debicki is such a newcomer that there doesn’t appear to be any confirmed photos of her on the Internet. That should change within the hour.

Gatsby still has Leo DiCaprio, Tobey Maguire, and Carey Mulligan commited, and Isla Fisher is in talks to play Tom Buchanan’s mistress, Myrtle, so they’re not hurting for star power, but I was actually really looking forward to Ben Affleck hamming it up as an upscale jerk, a type that we haven’t seen him in since he was cast as the proprietor of Fashionable Male way back in Mallrats.

I feel really sorry for the casting director of The Great Gatsby. Where are you supposed to find a rich asshole in Hollywood on short notice? (Deadline)

DiCaprio is playing Gatsby, Maguire will play Nick Carraway (the book’s narrator), and Carey Mulligan will play Daisy Buchanan, a woman torn between her love for Gatsby and her boorish husband, Tom Buchanan. Ben Affleck has been approached for Tom, and if cast, Fisher will play his mistress. This is odd casting. Myrtle wasn’t this hot or young in the book. I saw her as more of a Christina Hendricks, but Fisher is a welcome addition to this cast. The only way to settle this is to have those two fight it out in my mind. To the Jelly Pit!! (THR)

Ben Affleck is in talks to join Warner Bros’ new version of the literary classic I somewhat remember from high school english class. He would play the wife of Daisy (Carey Mulligan), Tom Buchanan, a guy who really loves the white race. He’s, like, the white race’s biggest fan. Affleck would join Leonardo DiCaprio as The Gatman and Tobey Maguire as Nick Carraway.

No word yet on how closely this adaptation will tie-in with the NES game. (Deadline)

“I’m not doing ‘Gatsby’ right now….Because despite what might be out there, I have made no comment about anything. So until I say it, it’s not said, you know,” says the director.

“What it means is, much like what goes on in any event, when you’re in the middle of the work, there’s all sorts of things you’re doing, and, you know, when I’m really clear — I, right now, my only focus is absorbing — I’ve been studying Fitzgerald now for three years, and my only act now is to absorb the DNA of his world, his life, the world of the novel. That’s why I have published on our website all the books we’re reading. And I think before we all engage anyone, the first thing to do is to do your homework, read the books, and then let’s talk,” he elaborated.

In other words, he wants to spend a significant amount of time drinking bourbon.

It can’t be that hard to nail the film adaptation. Rent a mansion, have Leonardo DiCaprio squint across the harbor, and then have a lot of yelling. The End. These film people, I tell ya. (Vulture)

Also, Luhrmann is going to shoot The Great Gatsby in Australia, not New York City, the actual city where the book famously takes place. This isn’t because Luhrmann wishes to have kangaroos drinking gin and tonics in his version (although that would be adorable), but because the state government in Sydney lobbied hard for the designation, which will inject a ton of money into the economy there. Maybe after getting all that money Sydney will try to change its name and forget about its past. (via The Hollywood Reporter)

Carey Mulligan consistently looks like she just woke up from a nap. A nap where she dreamed about crying. Despite this, she’s a hot property in Hollywood these days. So hot in fact, that she’s the go-to “not Natalie Portman.” After meeting with a bevy of hot, young actresses, Baz Luhrman has selected Mulligan to portray Daisy Buchanan in his adaptation of The Great Gatsby. Now all he has to do is decide if he’ll do the film or not himself. Sorry, readers.

“There are a few elements that I feel need to be resolved before I would categorically state that this is my next film,” says Luhrman. For instance, working out Leonardo DiCaprio’s schedule, getting Tobey Maguire to commit, and casting all the other roles. Time will tell on this one. If a few months go by and he announces another project, we’ll know this casting process was his excuse to try to meet Natalie Portman. Sly boots. (Deadline)

^{There can be only one.}

As is the trend nowadays, Baz Luhrmann is using the casting process of his new film as an opportunity to meet Natalie Portman. The director is in search for an actress to portray Daisy Buchanan opposite Leonardo DiCaprio and Tobey Maguire in his adaptation of the classic novel, The Great Gatsby.

Luhrmann workshopped the script with DiCaprio, Maguire, and Rebecca Hall but wants to expand his efforts to find the right fit. Though Hall still remains in the running, the director is also planning to shoot tests with the usual suspects: Keira Knightley, Amanda Seyfried, Abbie Cornish, Michelle Williams, Scarlett Johansson, and the recently-single Blake Lively. I see what you’re doing there Baz, and I’m disappointed. I’d expect that kind of behavior from John Mayer. Not from you. (Deadline)