Screen Junkies » The Firm http://www.screenjunkies.com Movie Reviews & TV Show Reviews Fri, 28 Nov 2014 16:30:46 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 6 Recent Instances Of NBC Screwing The Metaphorical Pooch http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-lists/6-recent-instances-of-nbc-screwing-the-metaphorical-pooch/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-lists/6-recent-instances-of-nbc-screwing-the-metaphorical-pooch/#comments Thu, 16 Feb 2012 20:12:50 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=245499 They're also ball-droppers for those keeping score at home.

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With news of Jenny McCarthy-hosted reality shows and remake after remake after adaptation after reboot, NBC certainly has placed a very nice “kick me” sign on its own back. That said, it’s a little too fashionable and easy to just say “NBC sucks,” which is why we have chosen to say, “Here’s why NBC sucks.” It’s a much more thoughtful approach to the whole affair.

Lucky for me, the writer, NBC has given us a very long list of reasons why it sucks over the past six months, so the only hard part was culling them down. They’ve done a very few things right over the past couple months, too, but we’ll save that for another article that I’ll never write.

So here’s why NBC has been sucking.

Shelving Community

Quickly: I am not a Community fan. I think the show is incredibly thoughtful and clever, but it spends so much time being those things that I don’t care at all what happens to the characters. However, I think suspending the one NBC show with a rabid, passionate fan base at a time when the network has almost nothing going for it is a mistake.

The show got terrible ratings, but at least people would talk about it. It gave NBC a presence on the Internet. You think the people that are watching Fear Factor are talking about that show on the Internet? Those people can’t even afford computers.

The show is one of the few good things that anyone says about NBC, so the network should take the hit, knowing that they’re making at least some fans and many critics happy.

The Playboy Club

This show was just ill-advised and lazy. It was too risqué for middle America (which is dumb, but true), and too pedestrian for the Mad Men crowd, so the show was openly mocked and ignored by both sides, getting the axe after two episodes, despite being NBC’s most-hyped new show.

Whatever the opposite of “taking a calculated risk” is, that’s what The Playboy Club was.

“Giving a thoughtless certainty?”

Tits or GTFO.

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Midseason Shows Of 2012: Which Ones Won’t Suck? http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-lists/midseason-shows-of-2012-which-ones-wont-suck/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-lists/midseason-shows-of-2012-which-ones-wont-suck/#comments Wed, 04 Jan 2012 23:33:04 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=241378 Set your DVR accordingly.

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With only a few breakout hits having premiered this past fall, it’s time for the networks to throw their midseason shows against the walls of our brains and see what sticks. In the past, “midseason” was a dirty word. If a show debuted in January, it meant a network wasn’t confident enough to add it to their fall line-up, and it was only being touted out halfway through the year on the off chance it might be a hit like Grey’s Anatomy.

However, the 2012 midseason looks different than others. Could these programs actually be overwhelmingly good? For the most part it looks like the answer is yes. Check out the slate of programs below. You just might find that they don’t completely suck… with a few exceptions (i.e. Chelsea).

The Firm – January 8th

A spin-off of the 1993 Tom Cruise legal thriller about a lawyer running his ass off to escape Wilford Brimley, John Grisham’s The Firm premieres on NBC Sunday, January 8th. Set ten years after the events of the first film, it seems that not much has changed. The promos feature so much running!

Though it’s getting great reviews due to the performances of Josh Lucas, Molly Parker, and Callum Keith Rennie, there is a decided lack of Brimley. Sure, he’s probably not up for much running these days, but they could get him a Jazzy scooter or something. ANYTHING.

House of Lies – January 8th

Showtime’s House of Lies has the odds stacked against it right out of the gate. Yes, it stars Don Cheadle, Kristen Bell, and Parks and Recreation’s Ben Schwartz. All are very likable, but these roles call for them to play despicable. It’s their job to help banks that foreclose on homes look good in the press. Reactions to an early preview are that the characters are too difficult to love. Perhaps there’ll be some kind of redemption in later episodes. There’s also gratuitous nudity. That’s always worth a gander. Premieres January 8th.

Are You There, Chelsea? – January 11th

In an attempt to capitalize on the wave of female-driven comedy that Bridesmaids kicked off, NBC is pairing this Chelsea Handler autobiographical sitcom alongside Whitney. Based off Handler’s memoir, Are You There, Vodka. It’s Me, Chelsea, Laura Prepon plays Chelsea while Handler herself steps in to play her older sister. Early reviews have been as unkind as Handler’s material tends to be. But given the fact that people will watch anything, it just might have a shot. Premieres January 11th.

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Eight Truths And A Lie About Birthday Boy Wilford Brimley http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/eight-truths-and-a-lie-about-birthday-boy-wilford-brimley/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/eight-truths-and-a-lie-about-birthday-boy-wilford-brimley/#comments Tue, 27 Sep 2011 18:31:00 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=230090 When we telephoned Brimley to get a quote for the piece, he offered up, "Don't call this number again, dammit."

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Today is Wilford Brimley’s 77th birthday. Before you duck out on the office early to head off to some rager celebrating the WB’s big day, Screen Junkies would like to let you know exactly who you are celebrating. Wilford Brimley is so much more than a man with a mustache that suffers from diabeetus. He is also a proud father, loving widower, and a passionate outdoors-man.

Please note that eight of the items listed are true, and one is a lie. Because we value responsible journalism at Break Media, we will provide you with an answer as to which is the lie, but not before you click through to the end. I need those page views.

Enjoy!

9. Wilford Brimley Has Used His Own Money To Reverse Bans On Horse Racing and Cockfighting

He has invested in and raised racehorses, and argues that the ban on cockfighting is an infringement on personal liberties.

8. Wilford Brimley Is A Mormon

He was born in Salt Lake City and has been devoted to the church his entire life.

7. Wilford Brimley Released A Jazz Album In 2004

He titled it This Time, The Dream’s On Me, and it features a number of jazz standards.

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Tom Cruise: A History of Implausible Sex Scenes http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/tom-cruise-a-history-of-implausible-sex-scenes/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/tom-cruise-a-history-of-implausible-sex-scenes/#comments Tue, 20 Sep 2011 21:25:41 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=229289 He's a very short man. Sometimes, it just doesn't add up.

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For reasons with which you needn’t concern yourself, I’ve been finding myself thinking about Tom Cruise sex scenes a fair amount. I feel that he has been party to a great many scenes that are completely implausible for a variety of logistical, psychological, and ergonomic reasons. While one film gets it right, most sex scenes prohibit me from suspending disbelief, often compelling me to scream, “THAT’S NOT HOW TOM CRUISE WOULD MAKE LOVE!”

Weigh the following exhibits. I dare you to disagree.

Top Gun

In this scene, Tom Cruise comes over to his flight instructor’s house after a spirited game of all-male beach volleyball. But when he arrives for their first actual date, he walks through the door, telling her he has to shower. It’s hard to come across as more socially inept. I don’t care how good of a renegade pilot you are.

The next time you’re on a first date at a girl’s house, show up sweaty (without a change of clothes) and inform her that you have to use her shower. See if you end up making passionate, soft-light love to Berlin’s “Take My Breath Away.” If you do, you must be one hell of a pilot.

Jerry Maguire

In the beginning of this film, we see Top Gun holding Kelly Preston (John Travolta’s wife; draw your own conclusion) around his waist while she jumps on it and rides his pony. I don’t know if this is logistically impossible, but it’s certainly logistically unlikely. Cruise is 5’7”, so his center of gravity is low enough that he could hold up Kelly Preston without tumbling forward, but I’m skeptical that Cruise has the leg strength. Granted, bookshelves are involved, but I still don’t see it happening.

Also, it’s unrealistic that any human being would allow Kelly Preston to scream in his face for that long during sex without asking her to please be quiet.

Risky Business

[Not embeddable, but right here]

Have you ever been on the Chicago train lines? There are stops every three feet! There’s no way that you could have sober sex on that thing without constantly being interrupted with stops, “Approaching Clark/Lake” announcements, and an influx of commuters dressed like 1980’s breakdancers.

Joel is by all accounts a virgin at this point, so perhaps they only needed a stop or two, but still, the likelihood of finding an unoccupied car is next to zero.

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The Most Evil Businesses In Movie History http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/the-most-evil-businesses-in-movie-history/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/the-most-evil-businesses-in-movie-history/#comments Tue, 23 Aug 2011 17:27:13 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=225132 The make Enron look like...well, Enron is probably still worse than these guys.

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While the past few years have presented us with more than a handful of evil real-world businesses, they still pale in comparison to those in film. Sure, Madoff swindled billions out of trusting investors, but he never sent Rob Lowe to shut down a brake pad factory in Ohio. That’s a special kind of sick.

This list is meant to focus on the other bad businesses that we’ve seen in film in the past 25 years or so. You won’t find Cyberdyne, Brown & Williamson, Zorg Industries, Weyland-Yutani, Umbrella Corp., Buy ‘N Large, and Rekall on this list. Those mega-corporations have had their day in the sun and have been done to death. Let’s examine some smaller and less obvious choices.

9. Cobra Kai Dojo – The Karate Kid

Most people think of Cobra Kai as just a collection of Aryan jerks that arbitrarily pick one kid and make his life hell. Which is true, they totally do that.

But bear in mind that Cobra Kai Dojo is also a business, presumably bankrolled by Sensei John Kreese (and possibly by his ponytailed billionaire friend in III). I mean, he’s not running a charity. So not only is someone teaching these kids to make Daniel-San’s life a living hell, but they’re getting paid to do it. Somehow, it seems much more sinister that someone was profiting financially from Daniel-San’s misery.

When Kreese went to the bank to get a small business loan do you think he listed as a bullet point in presented a flowchart that basically read “Just bully the hell out of a random 16 year-old kid =====> Financial Independence!”? I bet you do know.

This revelation also begs the question: Were Sensei Kreese’s motives strictly financial? This whole time, I thought he’d bee teaching his students to lash out at Daniel because of some misguided vendetta against weakness, or maybe some unresolved issues with his own step-dad, but what if he did this every year with a new class of students and a new victim?

It’s not altogether infeasible. And way more evil.

8. OCP (Omni Consumer Products) – RoboCop

As we kick this off, a note to those with the authority to offer government contracts to firms with Globo-, Cyber, or Omni in their name: Please don’t. It doesn’t end well. Go with firms with names like “Frank’s Security,” or “FamilyTime Cyborgs.”

Unfortunately, the fictitious civic leaders of Old Detroit in RoboCop predated this plea. No knowing any better, they outsourced their entire police force to OCP, a giant corporation that gets off to an ignominious start to the task at hand when their law enforcement robot prototype, ED-209, blasts the ever-loving shit out of one of their own board members during a conference room presentation. The project is tabled and they search for cyborgs on a smaller scale.

To make a short story long, OCP Senior President Dick Jones hires a criminal mastermind to kill a cop, thus providing a corpse for their newer cyborg prototype. Jones is one of those businessmen that only exists in the movies. Someone you could never believe anyone is that evil for any company.

Actually, Kurtwood Smith (the aforementioned mastermind) can sum this whole thing up was faster than I can.

Never mind that the plan is very circuitous and wildly impractical. If someone presented me on an investment opportunity that involved cleaning up Detroit, I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. It’s also, just sinister. I mean, Dick Jones was a bad guy, but he couldn’t have launched the whole “kill a cop to secure a corpse for the cyborg program” plan without at least some administrative help, which leads one to leads one to believe that this kind of action wasn’t out of the norm of OCP’s daily operations. Can we get a spin-off to see what other sinister projects they had going down?

7. Initech – Office Space

What’s not evil about Initech? They make their employees park miles away from the office, they ask employees to work weekends late on a Friday, and during office parties, there is often a paucity of cake. Is it as bad as Omni Consumer Products (above), who murdered for financial gain? Yes. Yes it is.

At least OCP didn’t take away Milton’s Swingline stapler.

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Josh Lucas To Officially Be Tom Cruise(‘s Character In NBC’s ‘The Firm’) http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/josh-lucas-to-officially-be-tom-cruises-character-in-nbcs-the-firm/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/josh-lucas-to-officially-be-tom-cruises-character-in-nbcs-the-firm/#comments Wed, 08 Jun 2011 22:54:59 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=215430 Wilford Brimley, please stay near your phone.

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NBC has officially signed Josh Lucas on the its TV adaptation of The Firm. An exalted nation lets out a “Huh. Really?” in response to the news. While it might not be the lifeline that NBC needs to get back into contention with the other networks, it sounds like a solid premise that offers a more dynamic (and interesting) spin on the whole “Hey! Look at us! We’re lawyers!” premise that so many legal dramas embrace.

Lucas will be playing the role of Mitchell McDeere, the role made famous by Tom Cruise in the film. The story picks up ten years later as McDeere and family (I guess he had some kids) emerge from the witness protection program to discover that threats to their safety still exist. If Josh Lucas is capable of running down the street in a suit half as well as Tom Cruise was, we’re in for a treat.

The Firm” will premiere at mid-season on NBC, and will continue to air until Mitch McDeere completely runs out of things to run away from.

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Josh Lucas Joins ‘The Firm’ (Not The Rap Supergroup) http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/josh-lucas-joins-the-firm-not-the-rap-supergroup/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/josh-lucas-joins-the-firm-not-the-rap-supergroup/#comments Thu, 02 Jun 2011 15:26:21 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=214387 Josh Lucas is now the proud owner of a stylish NBC tote.

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Josh Lucas is now the proud owner of a stylish NBC tote. The actor is close to finalizing a deal to play the lead in NBC’s midseason drama “The Firm.” Based on the John Grisham movie and Tom Cruise movie of the same name, “The Firm” tells the story of a lawyer who runs around a lot while being hunted by Wilfred Brimley.

5 photosHot Stills From NBC’s Cold And Dead ‘Wonder Woman’ Pilot

However, the series adaptation is reported to pick up ten years after the events of the film, continuing the story of Mitch McDeere.
 

As a young associate, McDeere brought down a prestigious Memphis law firm, which operated as a front for the Chicago mob — and his life was never the same. After a difficult decade, which included a stay in the Federal Witness Protection program, Mitch and his family now emerge from isolation to reclaim their lives and their future — only to find that past dangers are still lurking and new threats are everywhere.

As such, it’s unlikely Brimley will be doing any stalking. But it would be doable if they get him a Jazzy Powerchair. One of the quieter models. (Deadline)

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NBC In Talks To Adapt Very Relevant Film ‘The Firm’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/nbc-in-talks-to-adapt-very-relevant-film-the-firm/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/nbc-in-talks-to-adapt-very-relevant-film-the-firm/#comments Thu, 28 Apr 2011 12:20:22 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=209460 It's like "Law & Order" with more running.

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Get limber and keep those knees up, NBC. You don’t want to pull a hammy.

The Peacock is in talks to run with a television series based on John Grisham‘s blockbuster film, The Firm. Based on the novel of the same name, the film starred Tom Cruise as a young lawyer who was constantly running and jumping out of windows after discovering the firm he’s employed by is run by a crime syndicate.

A television version has been floating around for years without ever actually making it into production. So, I’m not sure that it makes sense that NBC would pick it up. On the one hand, it’s probably not that expensive to produce but on the other, if it’s a turkey it won’t pull the network out of last place. I guess that duty falls on “The Voice.” It’s all on you and your slightly off-putting looks, Cee-Lo Green. Don’t disappoint us. (EW)

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