Fallen

Denzel Washington plays a homicide detective on the hunt for the most cunning killer he’s ever encountered – a demon named Azazel. Passing from host to host simply by touching them, Azazel makes a game of toying with detectives until their lives are in shambles. It’s hard to point out just one terrifying possession in this film, when the killer could be anyone at any time.

Prince Of Darkness

John Carpenter combines the themes that worked so well for him in The Thing and Assault On Precinct 13 for the possession film, Prince Of Darkness. A group of academic researchers become trapped in a church surrounded by possessed vagrants when the mysterious liquid they are studying becomes sentient and escapes. It soon becomes clear that the liquid is an evil ooze attempting to release the “anti-God” and bring about the apocalypse, possessing and melting the skin off anyone in its way in the process.

Jason Goes To Hell

To this day, nobody is really sure what exactly Jason Voorhees is. Some say demon, some say mutant, some say smelly guy that walks around the woods and kills any sign of life he finds. In one of his alleged final appearances, the hockey-masked killer had his lore expanded with a supernatural twist. After being blown to pieces by the FBI in the film’s opening moments, Jason’s remains are sent off to a lab for autopsy. However, his heart begins to beat on its own, hypnotizing the pathologist which leads him to take a huge, gnarly bite from it. The killings begin again when Jason assumes the form of his host and embarks on a mission to kill and possess the last member of the Voorhees bloodline.

The Last Exorcism

Presented as another found-footage horror film, naysayers who had grown tired of the device were pleasantly surprised to find a solid, twisted (literally) film in The Last Exorcism. The plot follows a sham exorcist who bites off more than he can chew when he takes on the case of a teenage girl named Nell. Of the film’s many terrifying and brutal scenes, one that stands out above the others is when the demon Abalam contorts and bends Nell’s body at angles that I still see when I close my eyes at night.

The Amityville Horror

Though typically priced to move, no good can come of living in a murder house. As the Lutz family learned in The Amityville Horror. Based on a true story that is now widely dismissed as a hoax, the film follows the family’s account of the strange happenings they experienced after moving into a house that was once the scene of a mass murder. Like the family’s patriarch regularly awaking in the middle of the night and wandering out to the boathouse. My guess whether or not the dad was possessed depends on if they found a stash of Playboys in the boathouse.

Evil Dead 2

Sam Raimi seems to have a thing for hands and that is displayed upfront in his most famous and iconic scene. From Evil Dead 2, Bruce Campbell’s Ash has lost control of his hand. It has become possessed by evil and is intent on murdering him. He literally cuts his problem off at the wrist thanks to a conveniently placed chainsaw. I’ve done far more grotesque things with my hand but this is still a really intense scene.

The Exorcist

The most influential film in the genre. Maybe there were movies about demonic possession before “The Exorcist,” maybe there weren’t. Just like there may have been chocolate bars before Hershey, or rock bands before The Beatles. The Exorcist, with its absolutely and unbendingly realistic tone, is widely considered one of the scariest movies ever made. And it remains the first thing most people think about when they hear the words “demonic possession.” Unless of course they’re unlucky enough to actually know someone who’s been possessed by a demon.

Freddy Krueger

One of the most infamous villains in movie history, Freddy Krueger’s metier is haunting you while you sleep, invading your dreams, murdering you in your dream, and causing you to die in real life. It might be kind of tough to incarcerate him, since he’s deceased and all, and he’s already survived several Nightmare on Elm Street movies, including one rumble with Jason. But it’s indisputable that the streets would be a little safer with him locked away.

Count Orlok

Consider this nasty-looking cat a stand-in for every evil vampire in movies. After all, he came before Bela Lugosi’s Count Dracula, the shit-kicking vampires in Near Dark, and the shirtless glittery vampires in the Twilight movies. Unlike those guys, who use their vampire powers to make themselves suave and attractive, the undateable Count Orlok was proud to let his freak flag fly. He’s still a threat, though, as all powerful and bloodthirsty vampires tend to be. Lock ‘im up!

Unnamed Demon in Paranormal Activity

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the villain in a movie with “paranormal” right in the title. This guy’s crimes aren’t quite at the same large scale of the last two villains, but he could definitely benefit from some paranormal 3 hots and a cot all the same. And with the Paranormal Activity sequels becoming the next Saw series, this demon’s probably going to be on the warpath for years to come.

Pazuzu

The name might not be familiar to you, so here’s a refresher: It’s the demon who causes all that wacky mischief in The Exorcist and its assorted off-shoots. His crimes don’t need to be recounted here, but suffice it to say that taking the literal embodiment of evil into custody would be a notch on any law enforcement professional’s belt.

Lord Voldemort

Voldemort, as notorious paranormal villains go, is pretty dangerous. So dangerous, in fact, that most in the paranormal law enforcement field are too afraid to even speak his name. Now, a lot of you are probably thinking that Voldemort was vanquished in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II, to which I say: ‘pffft.’ That guy’s probably hiding out in Brazil until the heat dies down. He needs to be caught, put in jail, and made to think about his actions.

The Exorcist is one of those movies that continues to scare nearly forty years after it first horrified audiences.

This can be credited to its use of realism to balance the supernatural within a grounded melodrama. It’s so effective that four decades later I’m still afraid to pee on a carpet.

The commentary featuring director William Friedkin begins interestingly enough, with Friedkin setting the scene by giving us stronger, more tangible evidence for the U.S. to invade Iraq than the Bush administration ever did.

The Exorcist – Father Merrins Iraqi Intro Clip – Watch more Funny Videos

Unfortunately, Friedkin soon forgets that he’s supposed to be talking about the making of his most famous film and instead imagines himself playing the role of Anne Sullivan in The Miracle Worker, offering us endless pallid summarizing of what is being said and heard on screen.

Check out his lurid description of Ellen Burstyn reading a script and opening a door. Be sure to watch with the lights off!

The Exorcist – Chris McNeil Hears Noises Clip – Watch more Funny Videos

He doesn’t miss a beat in this next scene, proving that he either doesn’t own a thesaurus or that he lost a bet with the sound engineer to see how many times he could say a specific word over and over again in the same paragraph. Can you guess which word it is?

The Exorcist – Chris McNeil Goes For A Walk Clip – Watch more Funny Videos

The entire movie is narrated in similar monotone fashion with hardly an insight or tidbit of trivia to be found. By the end, I was left recalling Jeffrey Jones’ thoughts on The Handbook for the Recently Deceased:

“This thing reads like stereo instructions.”

If these links were made of clay you’d have trouble clicking on them. Good thing they’re not:

11 Movie Characters Melodromatically Announcing Who They Are (MovieLine)

Extreme Stic Fighting (BarstoolSports)

18 Reasons Glenn Beck Doesn’t Trust Google (HolyTaco)

A Baby Trashes the Palms Hotel (FilmDrunk)

Justin Bieber Wears Girl Panties (CelebJihad)

What’s the Worst Show On TV? (Unreality)

Weekend Movie Preview (MovieFone)

Brooklyn Decker is Officially an Actress (PopEater)

15 Celebrities Who Look Like Dogs (Smosh)

The 10 Most Unhealthy Restaurant Meals (Ranker)

Chinese Man Had a Knife Stuck In His Head for Four Years (BroBible)

Today’s Girl: Diane Kruger (Maxim)

The Many Contorted Faces of Neo-Noir (Pajiba)

That Movie Show With Bobby Miller (NextMovie)

Who’s to Blame for Fedor’s Downfall (CagePotato)

Hollywood’s Hottest Good Girls (MadeMan)

Live Action Minecraft Fan Film (GameFront)

Smartphone Apps for Hispanic People (TuVez)

Hands off our 'Star Wars', fascist!

Those bureaucrats in Washington are at it again. But this time, they’ve gone too far.

Not content with their takeover of the financial and healthcare industries, it seems the beltway paper pushers are looking to control another aspect of your life: the way you watch and enjoy The Empire Strikes Back.

Empire, along with 24 other films, will be interned at the Library of Congress, and will be held there indefinitely under the auspices of the National Film Preservation Act. This Orwellian decree was passed in 1988 with the intent to preserve films deemed “culturally, historically or aesthetically significant.”

Where in the constitution does it say Congress has the right to decide such things? After all; if we allow the Feds to decide which films are important, we are also allowing the government to decide which films don’t matter. Well, I for one don’t want to see Pootie Tang or The Last Starfighter end up in front of some cinematic death panel. Rise up, Sheeple, before it’s too late! (Cinema Blend)

Here’s a complete list of films slated for internment:

Airplane! (1980)

All the President’s Men (1976)

The Bargain (1914)

Cry of Jazz (1959)

Electronic Labyrinth: THX 1138 4EB (1967)

The Empire Strikes Back (1980)

The Exorcist (1973)

The Front Page (1931)

Grey Gardens (1976)

I Am Joaquin (1969)

It’s a Gift (1934)

Let There Be Light (1946)

Lonesome (1928)

Make Way for Tomorrow (1937)

Malcolm X (1992)

McCabe and Mrs. Miller (1971)

Newark Athlete (1891)

Our Lady of the Sphere (1969)

The Pink Panther (1964)

Preservation of the Sign Language (1913)

Saturday Night Fever (1977)

Study of a River (1996)

Tarantella (1940)

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (1945)

A Trip Down Market Street (1906)

_{A lady in the street, but a freak in the bed.}

A trailer for The Last Exorcism has hit the interwebs, and we couldn’t help but notice that the Eli Roth production looks a lot like the first Exorcist.

Just like the original, the film follows a young girl possessed by the devil who is walking on the ceiling, contorting her body in horrifying ways and acting like an all-around *sshole. But don’t worry. Rumor has it that the film has at least one modern twist. Instead of vomiting split pea soup, the victim upchucks Healthy Choice Hearty Vegetable Barley, a low-calorie alternative for today’s health-conscious horror fan.

Watch The Last Exorcism trailer below.

The Last Exorcism Trailer – Watch more Movie Trailers