If you can’t tell by the deliberately well-lit and posed photo above, Evelina Oboza is amodel with minor film and television credits. She played “Hot Blond” in Scrubs, more perfect casting I cannot imagine, and now she’s starring in The Box, probably as a hot blond without the blatant title.

A word from Evelina: “I like horses.”

She didn’t really say that, but based on the pics after the jump I totally believe it’s something she would say.

Watch the sexy farmhand do her thing!

the box opens in theaters this weekend, much to the delight of horny teenage guys who are eager to put irony into action by snickering loudly from the comfort of their local cinemas. But rather than take the low, sweet, moist road of the double entendre, I decided to keep my mind out of the gutter (for the most part). As a result, I’ve come up with a list of 10 literal boxes from film and television that have made a lasting impact in my pathetic little life. Enjoy, and let me know if your favorite storage compartment isn’t on the list. 

Dick in a Box Video 

The Dick Box 

If you had to pick one event that transformed Justin Timberlake from a douche-bag boy bander into a semi-tolerable celebrity, the “Dick in a Box" video would have to be it. He owes a lot to that box, and to Andy Samberg.

Se7en 

The Severed Head Box 

The ending of Se7en is a lot like the “Dick in the Box” video. Both scenes feature boxes, and both boxes contain body parts. The only difference is that instead of a comical set of male genitalia the box from Se7en contains Gwyneth Paltrow‘s severed head, which is infinitely funnier than Justin Timberlake’s junk.

Hellraiser 

Lemarchand’s Box

We’re not going to bore you with a lot of details, but if you’re not familiar with the Hellraiser series, let me give you some advice. Don’t buy spooky looking puzzles, games, monkey’s paws etc. when traveling abroad. If you do, you run the risk of opening a gateway to a parallel dimension, and having to deal with extra-dimensional beings like the Cenobites. Take it from me, those guys are a bunch of dicks. If you want to solve a puzzle, just get a sudoku book and be done with it.

Teeth 

The Toothy Box 

Yeah, this one breaks our promise to keep the vagina references to a minimum. Deal with it.

Truth be told, I never saw this movie about a girl with a vagina full of raiser-sharp teeth. Internet “writers” don’t exactly pull down a lot of strange, and on the rare occasions when we do we don’t need to be worried about getting our junk bitten off by a carnivorous vajayjay. The fear of crabs is bad enough.

 
Raiders of the Lost Arc 

The Arc of the Covenant

There are boxes, and then there are boxes. The Arc of the Covenant is the creme de le creme of permanent storage receptacles. After all, when you’re storing stuff that belongs to God, cardboard ain’t gonna cut it. 

Also, it’s Nazi proof.

Snakes on a Plane 

Box O’ Snakes 

Airport security is on the lookout for bombs, but all their fancy technology can’t detect a box full of snakes. 

Don’t take my word for it. Watch this Japanese trailer for Snakes on a Plane and see for yourself.

Gremlins 

Box Full of Gremlins 

For Hellraiser we warned you about buying strange items when traveling abroad. The same applies for foreign cultures living among us. If a strange old Chinese dude has a box full of mischievous demons, don’t offer to buy it. Just walk away and call the INS ASAP. You’ll be glad you did. 

AMERICA FOR AMERICANS!

The Wizard

Jimmy’s Lunchbox



Not only is Jimmy Woods the Rain Man of 8-bit video games, he’s also totally messed up about the death of his sister. Throughout the film, he only mutters the word, "California." Ever the opportunist, young Fred Savage hauls Jimmy’s ass to the Golden State in order to cash in off his abilities at a massive Nintendo Competition. Once there, Jimmy reveals that’s the location of a family vacation he has taken with sis which was his happiest memory of her. He opens his mysterious lunchbox to reveal a photo from the vacay. Somebody get this Nintendo Savant a photo album for pete’s sake.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest 

The Dead Man’s Chest 

To avoid the pain of a lost love, Davy Jones carved out his still-beating heart and buried it in a chest. A guy I went to high school with did the same thing. Of course he didn’t use a knife, he used a gun, and he used it on his brain, not his heart. But just like the movie, it was buried in a box…along with the rest of him.

Friends 

Chandler’s Thanksgiving Box 

Through a series of zanny misadventures regarding a friendship betrayed, Chandler makes Joey mad. To make up for it, Chandler agrees to spend Thanksgiving in a box. Oh “Friends,” you’re so comically situational!

Honorable Mention: Man in the Box 

Greg’s Cubical  

Of all the boxes on this list, none is more depressing than Greg’s cold soul-sucking office cubical. Luckily Greg’s wit and sarcasm keeps him from killing himself and others.

Today’s Marquee Links

Soccer Game Cat Fight (Video)

Massive Douchebags

Ghostbusters Proton Pack

Missy R. Pics

Hollywood’s Hottest Sisters

Richard Kelly enjoys the macbre and the mindf**k equally.  He brings real emotion to his stories, but he also wants you to think…about what the hell is happening in his twisted narratives. And before you begrudgingly scream out "Southland Tales!" at your computer screen, let’s just all take a deep breath and give him a pass on that one. And now all the people that liked Southland Tales are probably screaming at their computer screens, so you should also take a deep breath. We’re all friends here.

Collider snagged a fantastically in depth interview with Richard Kelly in which he discusses his latest film The Box. It’s one that’s sure to get you questioning your morals and asking yourself, "What is up with Frank Langella’s face?" Kelly even talks about his past films, a Donnie Darko Blu Ray edition, and possibly going back into Southland Tales and working out the kinks. Let’s all cross our fingers for Southland Tales: Redux, the ten hour director’s cut, hitting theatres when we can take our hovercraft cars there to see it.

Check out the interview in two parts below. 

Richard Kelly Discusse The Box Part 1 – Watch more Funny Videos 

Richard Kelly Discusses The Box Part 2 – Watch more Funny Videos

Today’s Marquee Links

Jonathan Toews and Adam Burish Own Halloween

You Crashed Your Car Into A House

Boba Fett Cufflinks

Director: Richard Kelly

Cast: Cameron Diaz, James Marsden, Frank Langella

Synopsis: Norma and Arthur Lewis, a suburban couple with a young child, receive a simple wooden box as a gift, which bears fatal and irrevocable consequences. A mysterious stranger, delivers the message that the box promises to bestow upon its owner $1 million with the press of a button. But, pressing this button will simultaneously cause the death of another human being somewhere in the world; someone they don’t know. With just 24 hours to have the box in their possession, Norma and Arthur find themselves in the cross-hairs of a startling moral dilemma and must face the true nature of their humanity.