Screen Junkies » teen wolf http://www.screenjunkies.com Movie Reviews & TV Show Reviews Fri, 05 Dec 2014 19:25:26 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 9 Stinkers That Prove ‘Romancing The Stone: The Series’ Is A Bad Idea http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-lists/romancing-the-stone-is-getting-adapted-for-tv-just-like-these-9-stinkers-did/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-lists/romancing-the-stone-is-getting-adapted-for-tv-just-like-these-9-stinkers-did/#comments Wed, 31 Aug 2011 23:19:14 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=226762 It turns out that Clooney and Aniston made the same mistakes as Baio and Danza by starring in these stinkers.

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Word is oozing out of Hollywood today that the ephemeral romantic adventure film Romancing the Stone is going to become a TV series. Sweet. Adapting films for ill-advised (and usually short-lived) TV series is a hallowed Hollywood tradition, albeit one that proves misguided almost every time.

With the pedigree of TV adaptations before it, I wouldn’t get too attached to Romancing the Stone: The Series! or whatever it’s going to be called. These things have a way of not only getting canceled, but completely disappearing from the cultural consciousness in the bat of an eye just like these shows did.

9. Ferris Bueller

None of the charm of the original, but with a lot more Jennifer Aniston. The role of Ferris was played by some kid that exuded all the bad characteristics of Zack Morris with none of the good ones. If you wanted to experience the charm of Ferris Bueller in a setting a few years later, I would strongly suggest Parker Lewis Can’t Lose, which much better capture the spirit of Ferris while also featuring characters that aren’t cartoonish photocopies of those in the original film.

8. The Youn Indiana Jones Chronicles

The 1992 show was created and produced by George Lucas, which means it could have been terrific or absolutely ridiculous. As it would turn out, the show was only pretty ridiculous, not bad enough to the point that people remember it. Sort of like Ron Artest.

George Lucas handpicked River Phoenix to play the titular character, but it turns out that such a request is only effective if the person in question accepts the request. Phoenix did not, so the role was played by Sean  Patrick Flannery, who was still a few years away from ripping out my heart and stomping on it as that bald albino, Powder. The hour long show had the weight of Lucas behind it, but little else and was canned after 14 months, which somehow is listed as “three seasons” on Wikipedia.

7. Clueless

The TV adaptation of the iconic film didn’t aspire to offer the same scoio-cultural commentary of the 1995 film, nor did it aspire to even offer the same level of charm or wit. While Alicia Silverstone, Breckin Meyer, and Paul Rudd didn’t find their way back to the series, the characters of Dionne, Murray, and Amber were all played by their original actors.

The show ran out its first season in the TGIF lineup on ABC, but then got sent down to the bush leagues at UPN where it ran for another respectable two seasons before fading into the ether.

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Cut Loose: The 9 Greatest High School Dances In Film http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/cut-loose-the-9-greatest-high-school-dances-in-film/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/cut-loose-the-9-greatest-high-school-dances-in-film/#comments Wed, 31 Aug 2011 16:05:17 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=226591 For those of us who got too drunk to attend prom, this is the closest we'll ever get.

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As children all over the nation finish their summer vacations, we’re reminded of the simpler times of high school. But as these entries demonstrate, those “simpler times” weren’t always so simple High school dances are romanticized in many teen films, but in reality, they’re often boring, horribly awkward affairs. So kudos to the films that point that out, and kudos to the films that skirt the issue and glamorize the events, sparing us the cringe-inducing memories. So, kudos all around, I guess.

And the omission of Napoleon Dynamite from this list was not an oversight.

9. American Pie

Their “Arabian Nights”-themed dance was amazing if only because it captured how truly awful and cheesy high school dances can be. Further, the Sherminator is outed as a grapefruit banger and urinates down the leg of his pants. While it doesn’t really pertain to the dance, the afterparty at Stifler’s lakehouse looked really fun.

Bonus points for the uber-creepy MC/lead singer of the band. High school smartasses would have crucified that guy. Those virgins were way too nice.

8. Pretty in Pink

Ducky makes everything better. I want Ducky at my funeral. Ducky’s dancing, his spiffy shoes, and Molly Ringwald’s inventive-but-still-kind-of-ugly dress made this a very fun and realistic look at prom. Even if she hadn’t gotten back together with Blaine at the end (uh, retroactive really predictable spoiler alert), this still would have made the cut.

One last time: DUCKY!

7. Back to the Future

A good dance, but a little overrated. Sure, the Enchantment under the Sea dance was where Marty McFly taught the 1950’s kids about rock and roll, but I can’t blame them one bit for being nonplussed about the whole affair. I mean, they’re enjoying one of the biggest hits of the day (“Earth Angel”) performed by some band that includes Chuck Berry’s cousin Marvin, when a white guy gets onstage and plays some weird noise that they’ve never heard before. If I was in the 1970’s, and some dude hijacked my prom stage and started playing Korn’s “Freak on a Leash,” insisting that everyone in the future loves it, I’d be furious. I’m not in the future. I’m in now. And now, I want to listen to Captain and Tenille’s “Love Will Keep Us Together” and Bread’s “Make It With You.” I don’t care what dumb future people are listening to. People really enjoy Katy Perry right now and even 100 years ago, that seems like a really bad idea.

All of this is outweighed by the delight of seeing a prom-goer hounded sexually by his mom. Forty-three thumbs up.

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Jill Wagner http://www.screenjunkies.com/gallery/jill-wagner/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/gallery/jill-wagner/#comments Tue, 05 Jul 2011 17:58:13 +0000 Screen Junkies http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=gallery&p=218928 Actress Jill Wagner appears on the newly-rebooted "Teen Wolf."

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Actress Jill Wagner appears on the newly-rebooted “Teen Wolf.” Wagner is known primarily for her work as a television host and model. She has hosted such programs as “Wipeout” and “Inside the Vault.” She moved into acting in 2004, beginning with a role in an episode of “Monk.”

A word from Jill: “I actually own a couple guns, I’m the daughter of a marine.”

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Holland Roden http://www.screenjunkies.com/gallery/holland-roden/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/gallery/holland-roden/#comments Mon, 13 Jun 2011 17:45:01 +0000 Screen Junkies http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=Gallery&p=215841 Holland Roden appears on the newly rebooted series "Teen Wolf."

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Holland Roden appears on the newly rebooted series “Teen Wolf.” This marks her first regular television role. She has previously appeared in small parts on “Community,” “Cold Case,” and”Weeds,” among others.

A word from Holland: “I got a call and my agent was like, “You booked it.” And I thought that it was Scoundrels for ABC, and I was like, “oh my gosh, I booked Scoundrels.” And he was like, “nope, but you booked ‘Teen Wolf’.” And I was like, “Okay! That works.” And within 48 hours, I was on a plane.”

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Review: ‘Teen Wolf’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/review-tv/review-teen-wolf/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/review-tv/review-teen-wolf/#comments Fri, 03 Jun 2011 23:53:49 +0000 Fred Topel http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=214737 Unfortunately, this “Teen Wolf” is just a typical slick MTV show with no character.

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I loved Teen Wolf as a kid and even played werewolf with my little buddies. I’m fine with the idea of a serious reboot in name only. I’m not so nostalgic I can’t enjoy that drama. Unfortunately, this “Teen Wolf” is just a typical slick MTV show with no character.

I almost thought it would cold open with the wolf out in the mirror, but no it was just a fake out and a silly intro of Stiles (Dylan O’Brien). They want to go find a dead body? That’s something high schoolers do? That’s when Scott McCall (Tyler Posey) gets bitten by a wolf, so it’s a totally ordinary rehash of The Wolf Man.

I don’t see why they had to lose the whole family history. That would be even more interesting in a drama. A wolf bite is just random and you lose the generational relationship where he could learn from or repeat his father’s mistakes. I think this Scott has a single mom, because that’s more relatable to today’s broken homes. The case of the body keeps coming up and sounds stupid like teen CSI.


Well groomed kids walk around school looking at hot cars, ignore lame teachers and talk about fashion. The background soundtrack of “TRL” hits makes it sound like an MTV vehicle, which is all it is. At least a house party looks like a long lost episode of “The Grind.” They even drop references to changing a song on your iPod. It’s very forced to sound like it’s in touch with the youth culture who have these crazy devices that distract them from driving. I know I’m no longer attuned to how teenagers talk, but I know bad writing. It only gets worse when Scott starts describing his wolf symptoms.

The powers are the same only now his super hearing picks up distant cell phones. Oh, and when a whistle hurts his ears, it’s a coach’s whistle. Okay folks, the reason the dog whistle hurt Michael J. Fox’s ears was to demonstrate he could hear nonhuman frequencies. The coach’s whistle just causes discomfort. There’s nothing creative or dramatic about that. Scott throws furniture around when he gets angry, so this truly is no more interesting than puberty and dealing with body changes.

I don’t mind changing the sport to lacrosse. I grew up in a lacrosse town so I know it’s a big deal. The show seems defensive about it though. They keep trying to tell you how cool lacrosse is. Visually, it’s not as striking to see Scott catch lacrosse balls as it was to see Fox dribble and dunk. If they eventually have wolf Scott with fur sticking out of a lacrosse uniform, that will be awesome. The wolf himself looks like you’d expect a TV makeup job to look. Cable TV, not network level makeup like “Buffy.”


The characters are so stupid. There’s the hyper pepped up coach, the sensitive hottie Allison Argent (Crystal Reed), the juiced up jock. The introduction of wolf hunters only promises more clichéd subplots. This Scott works in an animal clinic. Come on, guys. Those aren’t creative developments. It’s not ironic that he works with animals and then he becomes one. Or maybe it would be if it was important to his personality, but it’s just a job they inserted into his character profile on the screenplay template.

This show is so stupid. Maybe it’s trying to cram too much into a pilot, but I won’t watch any more to find out. I’m pretty confident this is the artistic direction of MTV’s “Teen Wolf.”

“Teen Wolf” premieres June 5 at 11.

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Watch The First Gory 8 Minutes Of MTV’s ‘Teen Wolf’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/watch-the-first-gory-8-minutes-of-mtvs-teen-wolf/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/watch-the-first-gory-8-minutes-of-mtvs-teen-wolf/#comments Thu, 02 Jun 2011 21:21:08 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=Video&p=214491 You should never venture into Dead Body Woods. Place is full of things that kill bodies.

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7 photosCrystal Reed

The first eight minutes of MTV’s “Teen Wolf” are online and they demonstrate why you should never go off into the woods by yourself in search of dead bodies. That’s right. You could be attacked by questionable CGI. Or you could get bitten by a wolf which seems to hurt like a bitch.

So please, dear reader, stay out Dead Body Woods. That place is full of things that kill bodies.

“Teen Wolf” premieres June 5th after the Movie Awards.

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It’s Hard To Score When You’re A ‘Teen Wolf’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/its-hard-to-score-when-youre-a-teen-wolf/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/its-hard-to-score-when-youre-a-teen-wolf/#comments Thu, 28 Apr 2011 15:13:54 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=Video&p=209463 Even if your abs could stop a silver bullet.

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high school can be a difficult place to pull ass, even when you look like an underwear model (not really but go with it). Add to that, the fact that you turn into a snarling wolf whenever your pulse raises and your chances of touching boobs are greatly diminished as this clip from MTV’s “Teen Wolf” illustrates. Please heed this warning. You don’t want to kill Crystal Reed during your first date. You’ll be high school pariah.

Also, how the hell did they get on that bus? I’d always thought those doors were kept locked. Looks like Daddy just found a new place to squat. (MTV)

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Blu-Ray Review: Teen Wolf http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/dvd/blu-ray-review-teen-wolf/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/dvd/blu-ray-review-teen-wolf/#comments Mon, 04 Apr 2011 15:54:13 +0000 B Hunt http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=205183 Well what have we here? One of my early childhood favorites Teen Wolf is coming to Blu-ray and I, BHunt, get to review it?

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Well what have we here? One of my early childhood favorites Teen Wolf is coming to Blu-ray and I, BHunt, get to review it? Don’t mind if I do! Let’s see what this baby has to offer all of us children of the 80s in terms of special features:

-Trailer

-Exclusive first look at MTV’s new Teen Wolf show

-That’s all

-Seriously

-Quit reading these bullet points

How is it possible that this nugget of 80s pop culture has the most bare-bones Blu-ray I’ve ever seen? Certainly there’s promo material floating around out there? Or the people that made it at least have something to say about it? What the hell? This is Michael J Fox in his prime.

Well, if for some reason you haven’t seen Teen Wolf (like you’re under 30) then you might not enjoy it without the sheen of nostalgia to enhance it. That being said, here are some reasons to watch:

-Michael J Fox is the smallest human ever. He’s like a primordial dwarf. In the first scene alone he looks so small playing basketball that it’s laughable.

-Speaking of basketball, Teen Wolf might have the worst representation of the sport I’ve ever seen. Every actor in the movie looks like it’s the first time they’ve ever tried dribbling. It is awesome.

-Scott’s (Michael J Fox) best friend Stiles wears clothes so 80s, that had it not been for the recent hipster revival of all things retro, he would look ridiculous. As it is, he ends up looking pretty cool. He even wears those stupid slit sunglasses that Kanye brought back. AND, he wears a shirt that says “What are you looking at, Dicknose?” He was so ahead of his time.

-Scott’s dad in wolf makeup and eyeglasses = great.

-Scott giving his wolf coif a blow-out before the big dance = greater.

-Scott’s secretly crushing friend Boof, who I think I’ve been in love with since I was 6.

-Van surfing.

-They go to a really awesome house party.

-The basketball coach’s complete apathy is hilarious.

-The first time the wolf makes an appearance on the court. His swagger is legendary. As is the song they play.

-One of the worst transformation scenes in any werewolf movie ever. It’s so bad they only show it once.

-There’s a rumor that some extra gets his dong out in the very last shot of the movie (top left of the frame). This is patently false. It’s a female, you can see that she has sweater puppies (in the new hi-def transfer leaves no doubt). The scoop is that she was given ill-fitting jeans by the wardrobe department and wasn’t able to button them. Whatever the reason, it is bizarre that they didn’t do another take or use a different shot. Once you see it, you can never NOT look at this girl with her pants unzipped as the movie ends.

The actual transfer of the movie is decent. It’s not great, but that’s to be expected of a movie that’s over 20 years old (it doesn’t look quite as good as its box office rival Back to the Future). It looks good enough in hi-def though. The sound, again, same verdict. This isn’t the Matrix.

As for those bonus features? Say what you will about trailers today spoiling movies (and they really do, almost every time) at least they’re exciting. Every time I see a trailer from the 80s I wonder why anyone would go see the movie it’s promoting. No wonder box office used to suck. The Teen Wolf trailer was awful.

And that exclusive look at MTV’s new Teen Wolf series? Oh my. Wow. It’s like when someone re-edits a movie trailer to make it look like a different genre. This show looks so unbelievably bad I was rolling on the floor. It has to be online somewhere, go check it out. They took Teen Wolf and tried to make it serious. It’s bizarro Teen Wolf. He’s bitten, not born werewolf (which is like half the point of the movie). He plays Lacrosse, the douchiest sport there is. And there are werewolf hunters in the show. Michael J Fox is spinning in his grave. This show makes Teen Wolf Too look like the most faithful follow-up of all time.

So that’s it for this disc. Definitely not worth buying unless you’re already a fan. Grab it on Netflix if you haven’t seen it in a while. If you’ve never seen it, well, if those bullet points sound good, check it out. It really does have some awesome intentionally funny bits and a few unintentionally funny ones as well.

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MTV’s ‘Teen Wolf’ Trailer Features Shockingly Little Wolfsketball http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/mtvs-teen-wolf-trailer-features-shockingly-little-wolfsketball/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/mtvs-teen-wolf-trailer-features-shockingly-little-wolfsketball/#comments Wed, 30 Mar 2011 01:30:18 +0000 Geoffrey Golden http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=Video&p=204405 Bad news Michael J. Fox fans: the trailer is 'Teen Wolf' meets 'Twilight'.

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The Teen Wolf I remember from the 80s was all about a goofy kid who gets werewolf powers and uses them to kickass in basketball. I can relate to that, because if I had wolf powers as a teen, I would have played varsity lacrosse before accidentally mauling everyone on the team during evening practice. However, the new “Teen Wolf” reboot series on MTV shows a new generation of high schoolers’ wolf-related priorities. Apparently, they wanna be wolfmen so they can brood around, act pensive with girls and participate in the occasional action/sex sequence where guy is shirtless. In other words, this is Teen Wolf meets Twilight.

Here’s how Executive Producer Jeff Davis (Criminal Minds) describes it, without using the dreaded “T” word:

“When I first talked to MTV about it, I said what if we do it kind of like The Lost Boys with kind of the pace and fun of Buffy. We’ve had comparisons to Vampire Diaires. That’s a very brooding melodrama. This exists far closer to Buffy.”

Uh, yeah. Seems like the brooding melodrama description is right on the money, as far as this trailer is concerned. Speaking of “right on the money,” why wouldn’t MTV want some of that Twilight cash while it’s still floating around there? Werewolves are the new vampires – or so MTV executives hope and pray each night. (Entertainment Weekly)

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MTV’s ‘Teen Wolf’ Doesn’t Look Annoying/Crappy http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/mtvs-teen-wolf-doesnt-look-annoyingcrappy/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/mtvs-teen-wolf-doesnt-look-annoyingcrappy/#comments Mon, 15 Nov 2010 22:39:19 +0000 Col. Longshanks http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=Video&p=8266 Here we have an early look at MTV's "Teen Wolf" series, and it looks pretty good. By that, I mean it doesn't look too much like Twilight. And there are crossbows.

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Here we have an early look at MTV‘s “Teen Wolf” series, and it looks pretty good. By that, I mean it doesn’t look too much like Twilight. The characters have been cast age-appropriately and nobody mumbles. Yeah, Teen Wolf looks like a Jonas Brother now and nobody surfs on a van roof. But there are crossbows. Crossbows are always awesome.

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MTV Picks Up ‘Teen Wolf’ Series http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/mtv-picks-up-teen-wolf-series/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/mtv-picks-up-teen-wolf-series/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 MTV is building up their stable of scripted material with the news that a "Teen Wolf" series will join "Hard Times of RJ Berger," "Warren the Ape," and "Skins" on the channel. The network has picked up a series order for the pilot we reported about previously. But don't dust off your What Are You Looking At, Dicknose? t-shirts just yet. This is MTV we're talking about, so of course it will lean closer to Twilight than it will the classic film Teen Wolf. Expect gratuitous abdominal muscle shots as opposed to light-hearted Michael J. Fox masturbating obsessively jokes. Turns out those don't really go over too well at parties anymore. Either that or I've been going to the wrong type of party. (THR)

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MTV is building up their stable of scripted material with the news that a "Teen Wolf" series will join "Hard Times of RJ Berger," "Warren the Ape," and "Skins" on the channel. The network has picked up a series order for the pilot we reported about previously. But don’t dust off your What Are You Looking At, Dicknose? t-shirts just yet. This is MTV we’re talking about, so of course it will lean closer to Twilight than it will the classic film Teen Wolf. Expect gratuitous abdominal muscle shots as opposed to light-hearted Michael J. Fox masturbating obsessively jokes. Turns out those don’t really go over too well at parties anymore. Either that or I’ve been going to the wrong type of party. (THR)

 

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MTV Casts ‘Teen Wolf’ Pilot http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/mtv-casts-teen-wolf-pilot/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/mtv-casts-teen-wolf-pilot/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Thanks to the maximum abage in New Moon and ironic t-shirts, werewolves are so hot right now. MTV knows this and they're getting in on the trend with their bastardization reimagining of Teen Wolf. Now we have word of the show's casting. Tyler Posey, Tyler Hoechlin, Crystal Reed and Dylan O'Brien have been cast in the pilot written by Jeff Davis (Criminal Minds). Posey will play a high school dork who develops bizarre transformative powers after being attacked by a wolf. O'Brien is playing his best friend and Reed will play the hot piece barking for his bone. Seventh Heaven's Hoechlin is signed on to play a d*ckhead/evil werewolf. That's all well and good for them but what of Teen Wolf Pug? He should have nailed it in auditions.That's it, fatboy. I'm getting you into the gym. You clearly don't have the abs to be a star... yet. (THR)

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Thanks to the maximum abage in New Moon and ironic t-shirts, werewolves are so hot right now. MTV knows this and they’re getting in on the trend with their bastardization reimagining of Teen Wolf. Now we have word of the show’s casting. Tyler Posey, Tyler Hoechlin, Crystal Reed and Dylan O’Brien have been cast in the pilot written by Jeff Davis (Criminal Minds). Posey will play high school dork who develops bizarre transformative powers after being attacked by a wolf. O’Brien is playing his best friend and Reed will play the hot piece barking for his bone. Seventh Heaven‘s Hoechlin is signed on to play a d*ckhead/evil werewolf. That’s all well and good for them but what of Teen Wolf Pug? He should have nailed it in auditions.

That’s it, fatboy. I’m getting you into the gym. You clearly don’t have the abs to be a star… yet. (THR)

 

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First Poster for ‘The Wolfman’ Comes Up Short http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/first-poster-for-the-wolfman-comes-up-short/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/first-poster-for-the-wolfman-comes-up-short/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 The first poster for Joe Johnston's The Wolfman arrived online today. The production has had its fair share of problems and as much as I hate to jump on the hater bandwagon, I've got to say, I'm really just not that impressed with the makeup effects. Seems too low-fi.RELATED JUNK: Middle Aged Wolf

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The first poster for Joe Johnston‘s The Wolfman arrived online today. The production has had its fair share of problems and as much as I hate to jump on the hater bandwagon, I’ve got to say, I’m really just not that impressed with the makeup effects. Seems too low-fi.

RELATED JUNK: Middle Aged Wolf

  

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‘Teen Wolf’s’ Logical Progression is…’Middle Aged Wolf’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/teen-wolfs-logical-progression-is-middle-aged-wolf/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/teen-wolfs-logical-progression-is-middle-aged-wolf/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 If you're anything like me you're A.) pants-sh*ttingly attractive and B.) a big fan of Teen Wolf and Teen Wolf-related humor. Despite his questionable basketball skills, there's something about the film and character that perserveres nearly twenty-five years later. But were you ever curious what became of Scott Howard? Was his experience as the Wolf enough to boost his confidence and set him on the path to an exciting life? Or did he end up just another corporate drone stamped down by the drudgery of work? Filmmaker Marc Milstein asked himself the same question and his answer, the second one.Great work from all the guys in Substitute Scientist: Michael Capes, Marc Milstein, and  Rene Gube. We look forward to the next installment of Middle Aged Wolf.

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If you’re anything like me you’re A.) pants-sh*ttingly attractive and B.) big fan of Teen Wolf and Teen Wolf-related humor. Despite his questionable basketball skills, there’s something about the film and character that perserveres nearly twenty-five years later. But were you ever curious what became of Scott Howard? Was his experience as the Wolf enough to boost his confidence and set him on the path to an exciting life? Or did he end up just another corporate drone stamped down by the drudgery of work? Filmmaker Marc Milstein asked himself the same question and his answer, the second one.

Great work from all the guys in Substitute Scientist: Michael Capes, Marc Milstein, and 
Rene Gube. We look forward to the next installment of Middle Aged Wolf.

 

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‘TEEN WOLF’ REMAKE IN THE WORKS http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/teen-wolf-remake-in-the-works/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/teen-wolf-remake-in-the-works/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000  Teen Wolf, the family-friendly cautionary tale from the 80s, could be informing a new generation of pubescents about the perils of hairy palms.  Or rather, the totally awesome benefits.  According to MovieHole.com, Warner Brothers is currently out to writers to update the 1985 hit starring Alex P. Keaton, a.k.a. The Fox.  Apparently the execs aren't certain which way they're going to go tonally.  We've already seen the high-concept comedy version, so I say they deliver a dark melodrama.  Drugs, sex, violence, and attempted suicide.  It'll be like a Bret Easton Ellis novel, but with fur. 

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Teen Wolf, the family-friendly cautionary tale from the 80s, could be informing a new generation of pubescents about the perils of hairy palms.  Or rather, the totally awesome benefits.  According to MovieHole.com, Warne Brothers is currently out to writers to update the 1985 hit starring Alex P. Keaton, a.k.a. The Fox.  Apparently the execs aren’t certain which way they’re going to go tonally.  We’ve already seen the high-concept comedy version, so I say they deliver a dark melodrama.  Drugs, sex, violence, and attempted suicide.  It’ll be like a Bret Easton Ellis novel, but with fur. 

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10 WORST BASKETBALL SCENES IN MOVIES http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/10-worst-basketball-scenes-in-movies/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/10-worst-basketball-scenes-in-movies/#comments Tue, 05 May 2009 01:38:49 +0000 Defy Media The NBA Playoffs are (finally) into the second round and at long last we have gotten over an unbelievably uneventful NCAA Tournament. So, needless to say, we’ve seen some good basketball lately (apart from the Utah Jazz - jab!). Why not take a look at some of Cinema’s darker basketball moments? You know the ones - super-leaping little children tomahawk-dunking on some white doofus’ face when the glass shatters at the buzzer and the crowd goes wild. Those are the moments when people realize, and movies preach, life is not all about basketball. It’s about love, friendship, hard work, and sweat. Lots and lots of sweat.   It’s all still about basketball, though. That’s why the hero gets carried off the court on people’s shoulders. No one gave a damn about anyone learning a lesson, they cared that their team won the game at the last friggin’ second! Not only that, the team showed those jerks over at Opponent High (Fighting Muskrats) that they were the better basketball players and therefore the better people. 

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The NBA Playoffs are (finally) into the second round and at long last we have gotten over an unbelievably uneventful NCAA Tournament. So, needless to say, we’ve seen some good basketball lately (apart from the Utah Jazz – jab!). Why not take a look at some of Cinema’s darker basketball moments? You know the ones – super-leaping little children tomahawk-dunking on some white doofus’ face when the glass shatters at the buzzer and the crowd goes wild. Those are the moments when people realize, and movies preach, life is not all about basketball. It’s about love, friendship, hard work, and sweat. Lots and lots of sweat.

It’s all still about basketball, though. That’s why the hero gets carried off the court on people’s shoulders. No one gave a damn about anyone learning a lesson, they cared that their team won the game at the last friggin’ second! Not only that, the team showed those jerks over at Opponent High (fighting Muskrats) that they were the better basketball players and therefore the better people.

Basketball is not an easy game to translate to the screen, but so many people have tried. Here are the worst Hollywood had to offer:

 

TEEN WOLF

It’s not enough that Scott was inexplicably talented (and by that I mean, more athletic) as a werewolf, but somehow we are to believe that Michael J. Fox (all 4’6” of him) and his ragtag bunch of teammates (including the Fat Guy, as lovable as most fat guys) defeat the best team in the league? I mean, the Dragons even have a black guy or two on the team. Meanwhile, Michael J. jumpshoots his free throws. What’s that about? I think the lesson that the Beavers needed to learn was not about how they had the talent all along – it’s that their lack of fundamentals surprisingly got them this far.

As a side rant, I want to give special mention to Beavers’ forward #45. He has a smooth game, and is always following shots. He went down as an unsung hero to the Beavers’ amazing comeback, despite obviously being the star on both sides of the court. Subconsciously, I must have chosen to wear 45 in m high school playing days in his honor. Must have.

 

GLORY ROAD

A quick disclaimer. This is not a bad basketball movie, really. They get most of it sort of right. Sort of. But there are a couple things to mention. The 1966 Texas Western men’s basketball team was historically relevant. They were college basketball’s answer to Jackie Robinson. They took on the giants of Adolph Rupp’s Kentucky basketball factory. They were not, however, an AND1 MixTape team. They played smart motion offenses, and didn’t rely on exuberance and showmanship to win games.

And, on a storytelling note, is it really necessary to stick nose prosthetics on actor’s to make them look more like the real life characters they are depicting. Were there Rupp lobbies trying to get Jon Voight to look more like the foul-nosed coach? I’m pretty sure 99.999% of Americans would not have second-guessed Voight, sans nose prosthetic, as Adolph Rupp. Call me crazy, but it just seems to show the loosely knit seams in filmmaking when I see a badly made, and unnecessary, face prop.

 

ABOVE THE RIM

This movie raises more questions than answers, and fails Storytelling 101 in the first five minutes of the film. All basketball relevance and authenticity is lost when we see some kid smash his hand through the backboard then falling to his untimely death before the credits. C’mon. I didn’t even know that slapping the backboard was such a great feat. If that was the case, I should have been recruited to play college ball.

From that ridiculous scene on, the movie’ fighting an uphill battle – one not unlike the rest of the basketball games in the films on this list. And note that Marlon Shawn* Wayans has a role here. Just keep that in mind.

*Editor’s Note: Thanks for the correction, Anonymous.

 

SLAM DUNK ERNEST

Ernest has practically done everything. Actually, there’s very little he cannot do, probably because of some unbelievably improbably coincidence or magic shoes. In this one, like so many other basketball movies that try and teach kids that “it’s not about the shoes,” it is about the shoes. Ernest just wants to play basketball in a sort-of semi-pro league with his janitor buddies – but being a white hick – he sucks. Until, that is, he finds a pair of magical shoes that make him grimace his face when he leaps 12 feet into the air.

If that isn’t cringe-worthy enough, they decided to give the shoes a high-lilting coo every time he addresses them in conversation. They make Snarf from Thundercats someone you’d want to have a conversation with.

Cast note: Miguel A. Nuñez Jr.

 

JUWANNA MANN

See above cast note I am guessing that Miguel A. Nuñez Jr. had a bit of “star power” in the early 00s. He was probably ready to call the shots on his next acting gig, and I am guessing that he decided Slam Dunk Ernest didn’t showcase enough of his talent as a budding basketball player. So he brainstormed some star-vehicle basketball movie ideas that didn’t have him playing second fiddle to Ernest (that’s gotta sting).

His idea was about as well-rounded as the basketball in it. I won’t pretend I am a fan of the WNBA, but they should be greatly offended by the massacre this movie did to any credibility for women’s team sports. The sports film is usually an uplifting one, empowering a certain group of people – usually underachievers, but this destroyed that mold and is just a slap in the face. I am choking on my contempt. I apologize.

Quick cast note: Kim Wayans (aka Shawn Wayans’ sister), stay tuned.

 

HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3: SENIOR YEAR

I don’t understand the HSM movies. And I won’t pretend to. They are not for meant for me. I haven’t seen any of them all the way through. I know that Zac Efron is some sort of teen hearthrob and all, but I’m just not sure to which sex he’s a hearthrob. I was aware, though, that Zac’s character is into basketball, and that in the world of HSM, basketball is the jock sport of choice. That’s all fine, but I’m not sure they are playing basketball.

I can understand that teams have a trick play or two – especially any sports team in any movie, ever, but I don’t think singing while playing basketball would really throw the other team off. If anything, it probably just confirms the opponents superiority as they thromp the sissy, singing team.

I also admit, I had to read the title of the movie a couple times to make sure it was HIGH SCHOOL Musical, because those kids out there are middle schoolers. There’s usually a good amount of size, strength, and athleticism to real high school ball players. I may have been Zac Efron’s size in fourth grade (and, as long as he played his soprano offense, I think I could have taken him even then).

 

LIKE MIKE

 

 

It’s the shoes, but it’s not. Christ! Li’l Bow Wow probably had way too much to do with this film getting made, which proves an old adage: “Hollywood is run by 12-year-olds.” Some producer, trying to not lose his tenuous grasp on the key pre-teen demographic, decided that the “so in” young rapper and that cute kid from Jerry Maguire (who had already grown out of his cuteness by the third act) should star in a movie where a kid plays in the NBA.

Interesting side note: even the Wayan brothers stayed away from this movie.

Do yourself a favor, put this one back on the shelf and watch Rookie of the Year, if anything you’ll see the original version.

 

AIR BUD

If kids playing in the NBA isn’t enough for you, how about dogs? Okay, it’s not the NBA, but it’s one of the great copouts of movie sports – middle schoolers. If you’re not going to be able to translate the sport on the screen in an authentic way, why not bring in the kids who aren’t supposed to be superstars yet. Perfect. Add a pinch of canine and you’ve got a movie franchise!

The dog is cute enough, and I can be on Air Bud’s side most of the time, but really, once I take off my homer glasses (for the Timberwolves – the last time they were ever successful – uppercut!), shouldn’t he be called for about a hundred turnovers? Traveling? Moving screens? He has his nose in the kid’s crotch for chrissake, that has to be a foul. What is he? The John Stockton of doggie basketball?

It was because of this movies, the filmmakers didn’t make Most Foul-Prone Primate.

 

THE AIR UP THERE

Kevin Bacon had to do a basketball movie. He had done everything else. So what better movie to do than one where he plays an assistant coach looking for the next Hakeem Olajuwon or Dikembe Mutombo? That way, you’re doing a basketball movie and a heartfelt tribute to Africa. Unfortunately, they butchered the basketball and destroyed any semblance of cultural sensitivity to African tribal nations.

I will say it has it’s golden moments, most of which are Bacon’s facial expressions as he re-injures his knee.

 

THE SIXTH MAN

Marlon Wayans. In the 90s, the Wayans brand had some real comedy firepower, that was, until Damon and Keenan Ivory grew out of their comfortable adolescent humor, and gave the reins over to Marlon and Shawn. And, since the Wayans’ were employable black guys, white producers decided they should be basketball players. It was almost every basketball casting decision in the late 90s and early 00s.

WRITER: It’s about a basketball team. It’s a comedy.   

PRODUCER: Get Wayans, the young one! Marlon!  

WRITER: But it’s about a women’s basketball team.  

PRODUCER: Doesn’t he have a sister?

The Wayans are a smorgasbord of casting choices for inept producers, and The Sixth Man suffers from not at least getting a funny black man in his role.

 

DISHONORABLE MENTION:

Celtic Pride – Damon Wayans, anyone?

Eddie – The downfall of Whoopi Goldberg (how it art akin to the fall of Rome)

Rebound – The downfall of Martin Lawrence (it art closer to the fall of Orange Julius).

– ROSS CONKEY

Ross Conkey is a freelance writer living in Chicago.  He likes the Trailblazers and thinks basketball fundamentals should start with fun.

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