Screen Junkies » Ted Griffin http://www.screenjunkies.com Movie Reviews & TV Show Reviews Tue, 30 Sep 2014 00:00:47 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 The In-Development ‘Beached’ May Have The Best Logline In Cinema History http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/the-in-development-beached-may-have-the-best-logline-in-cinema-history/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/the-in-development-beached-may-have-the-best-logline-in-cinema-history/#comments Tue, 28 Aug 2012 16:35:00 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=250578 Oh, man. I don't want to give it away here, but it's a keeper.

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From the director of National Treasure, Jon Turtletaub (hold your applause to the end, please), is the upcoming Beached. Rather than synopsize the film using my own words, I’ll let THR do the heavy lifting here, as I like the way they phrase the concept just fine:

Beached centers on a chubby 4-year-old child who falls overboard during a family outing, is raised by whales and goes on to become a champion swimmer.

I need a cigarette.

It sounds so stupid that I immediately thought that it must be a true story, because it’s too dumb for someone to make up. Then I remember that if a person needs to be “raised” by water animals, at some point their legs will get tired of swimming and they will drown. I would guess it would take a four year-old about 38 seconds to drown, not giving the whales a lot of time to do “raising.”

Eh. Chubby kids are buoyant, but not buoyant enough to tread water for their entire adolescence. Unless the child is just crazy-fat, which would take the film from good to great.

What’s most amazing is that Beached has been going around for 15 years, meaning that people keep trying to make this movie. What’s only slightly less amazing than that is the fact that the original draft was penned by Ted Griffin, who wrote Ocean’s Eleven, which is by my account a “good” movie.

(Go for applause.)

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David Fincher On The Verge Of A ‘Panic Attack’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/david-fincher-on-the-verge-of-a-panic-attack/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/david-fincher-on-the-verge-of-a-panic-attack/#comments Wed, 01 Jun 2011 21:49:56 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=214313 He may be going back to his roots of scaring the sh*t out of people.

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5 photosRooney Mara Looks Like Paul Dano In New 'Dragon Tattoo' Pics

With the trailer for The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo burning up the ‘Netz and his dream of seeing Rooney Mara’s boobs realized, David Fincher is getting back to his gritty roots. He’s optioned the novel “Panic Attack” with Ted Griffin on the script.

The story follows a psychiatrist who kills a home invader only to have a psychotic accomplice come after him and his family on a vengeance mission. It’s unclear if Fincher has an interest in directing or merely producing the project, but I imagine he’s only got Dragon Tattoo on his mind at the moment. Regardless, this is the first project at Fincher’s Panic Pictures. Between this and Panic Room, dude really loves some panic. Now’s the time to court him for your next music video Panic! At The Disco. (Vulture)

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