Screen Junkies » taylor lautner http://www.screenjunkies.com Movie Reviews & TV Show Reviews Fri, 08 Aug 2014 20:19:50 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Taylor Lautner To Play Dirk Diggler In New ‘Boogie Nights’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/taylor-lautner-to-play-dirk-diggler-in-new-boogie-nights/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/taylor-lautner-to-play-dirk-diggler-in-new-boogie-nights/#comments Wed, 09 Oct 2013 16:19:49 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=257479 Feel, feel, feel, feel my heat.

The post Taylor Lautner To Play Dirk Diggler In New ‘Boogie Nights’ appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
He may have missed out on the opportunity to play Stretch Armstrong, but Taylor Lautner is still afforded the chance to play a character with at least one elongated extremity. Vampire baby-f*cker is set to slip into the role of Dirk Diggler, for Jason Reitman‘s live reading of Boogie Nights at Film Independent at LACMA on Thursday night. There is no word who will be playing the part of Diggler’s penis.

He’ll be joined by Judy Greer, who will take over the role Amber Waves, the character made famous by Julianne Moore. Mae Whitman will play Rollergirl, Kevin Pollak will be The Colonel, Jim Rash will take on Buck Swope, Jarod Einsohn will be Todd Parker and Jurnee Smollett will play Jessie St. Vincent.

Last month at the Toronto International Film Festival, Reitman held another Boogie Nights reading that sounded much more enjoyable with Jesse Eisenberg as Diggler and Olivia Wilde as Amber Waves. (E!)

The post Taylor Lautner To Play Dirk Diggler In New ‘Boogie Nights’ appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/taylor-lautner-to-play-dirk-diggler-in-new-boogie-nights/feed/ 0
Mattel Decided That Taylor Lautner Won’t Be Their ‘Max Steel’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/mattel-decided-that-taylor-lautner-wont-be-their-max-steel/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/mattel-decided-that-taylor-lautner-wont-be-their-max-steel/#comments Wed, 04 Sep 2013 22:20:49 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=256793 Apparently Max Steel is some sort of toy superhero. Also apparently, Mattel produces films.

The post Mattel Decided That Taylor Lautner Won’t Be Their ‘Max Steel’ appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
Mattel, having made the artistic decision to move forward with the live-action film franchise Max Steel, which has nothing to do with either Real Steel or Max Payne, has decided to remove Taylor Lautner from the project. Lautner had been attached since as early as 2009, but the fact that his post-Twilight career has been weak (Abduction?) and other films made by another guy named Taylor (Battleship, John Carter) didn’t do very well, then there’s the whole matter of Taylor Swift, whose career is still thriving, but, let’s face it, there’s an expiration date on all those faux-empowering breakup songs, means that the producers of Max Steel would probably be better served going after most anyone else.

Because he looks like a chipmunk, and chipmunks don’t do well at the box office.

With one wildly notable exception:

The post Mattel Decided That Taylor Lautner Won’t Be Their ‘Max Steel’ appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/mattel-decided-that-taylor-lautner-wont-be-their-max-steel/feed/ 0
Taylor Lautner To Do More Running And Jumping In ‘Tracers’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/taylor-lautner-to-do-more-running-and-jumping-in-tracers/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/taylor-lautner-to-do-more-running-and-jumping-in-tracers/#comments Mon, 14 May 2012 20:29:09 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=248676 We're one step closer to 'Parkour Werewolf: The Film'.

The post Taylor Lautner To Do More Running And Jumping In ‘Tracers’ appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
Abduction, Taylor Lautner’s first foray into action-oriented leading man territory, didn’t yield a profit but he’s getting a second chance to prove he’s good at running around and jumping. Lautner will star in Tracers, a thriller set in the world of parkour.

The story centers around a bike messenger indebted to an organized crime syndicate. His life is forever changed when he crashes his bike into a sexy stranger who inducts him introduces him to parkour. And then I guess he bests the mob by running up walls or driving his bike off a drawbridge or something. Hopefully, he’ll retain his Twilight werewolf powers. There just aren’t enough movies about parkour werewolves. (Deadline)

The post Taylor Lautner To Do More Running And Jumping In ‘Tracers’ appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/taylor-lautner-to-do-more-running-and-jumping-in-tracers/feed/ 0
If ‘Twilight’ Characters Were Real People (Gallery) http://www.screenjunkies.com/gallery/if-twilight-characters-were-real-people-gallery/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/gallery/if-twilight-characters-were-real-people-gallery/#comments Thu, 17 Nov 2011 20:03:00 +0000 Noah Griffith http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=gallery&p=236965 These are 100% accurate depictions of what your favorite Twilight characters would look like in real life.

The post If ‘Twilight’ Characters Were Real People (Gallery) appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
With only hours to go before The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 hits theaters, millions of young girls and probably a few very creepy old men can barely contain their excitement. Once again, fans will be thrust into the supernatural world inhabited by vampires, werewolves, and mummies (I made that last one up, but I really want to see an angst-filled teen mummy).

But sadly, much like a female orgasm, the world of Twilight is purely fiction. And while I can’t bring fans into the world of Twilight, I might just be able to bring Twilight into the real world. Using a high-powered photo-rendering program known as “Photoshop,” I created (or “shopped”) these 100% accurate depictions of what your favorite Twilight characters would look like in real life. Hopefully, in some small way, this will help fans hang on until the next installment.

Photos by Noah Griffith, Text by Jame Gumb

The post If ‘Twilight’ Characters Were Real People (Gallery) appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
http://www.screenjunkies.com/gallery/if-twilight-characters-were-real-people-gallery/feed/ 0
PG-13 Sex And Vampire C-Sections: ‘Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1′ Is Unintentionally Awesome http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-review/pg-13-sex-and-vampire-c-sections-breaking-dawn-part-1-is-unintentional-awesome/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-review/pg-13-sex-and-vampire-c-sections-breaking-dawn-part-1-is-unintentional-awesome/#comments Thu, 17 Nov 2011 16:17:04 +0000 Screen Junkies http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=237007 I've heard of biting the umbilical cord, but this is ridiculous.

The post PG-13 Sex And Vampire C-Sections: ‘Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1′ Is Unintentionally Awesome appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
In case you hadn’t heard, Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1 hits theaters Friday, giving awkward tween girls, unfulfilled housewives, and lonely secretaries everywhere something to do on a Friday night (besides eat ice cream and/or cry with their cats). As is usually the case with a new Twilight film, anticipation is running high. But this time, things are a little different. I’ve seen Bill Condon’s Breaking Dawn, and I’m here to tell you that—against all odds—I think you oughtta see it even if you’re not a fan.

(Check Out A Guy’s Guide To Twilight)

You’ve probably already decided that you aren’t going to see Breaking Dawn. Not only will you be missing out on one of the greatest unintentional comedies of all time, but you’ll also be depriving yourself of one of the most bat-shit-crazy 20-minute stretches of melodrama ever committed to film. Breaking Dawn’s first half is nigh unwatchable, taking a solid hour to limp through what seems to be about fifteen minutes’ worth of story. But its second half—particularly its final twenty minutes—is something you owe it to yourself to see.

It. Is. Glorious. But it’s not like that finale is the only reason you should see Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1 this weekend. Hell, I can think of at least half a dozen reasons you should go. Here they are, in no particular order. Spoilers ahead, obviously…

Shirts Are Irrelevant From Minute-One

Stephenie Meyer wants you to believe that she’s essayed a deep, thoughtful, compelling romance in the Twilight series, but the story’s so emotionally false, it’s simply impossible to take seriously. Kristen Stewart’s Bella consistently comes across as emotionally unstable, her moods swinging from one extreme to another seemingly without cause. And yet, the men in her world—be it Jacob The Werewolf-Boy or Edward The Sparkly Vampire-Lad—welcome each new swoop of the pendulum with endless patience and understanding. There’s something to be said for working through the issues you’re having with your partner, but let’s be realistic here: if any dude I know were dating Bella, he’d dump her ass after the third inexplicable meltdown (note: if Kristen Stewart were hotter, this might be a touch more believable).

Also worth noting: Condon’s camera is constantly lingering on this movie’s version of money shots—a wedding gown, expensive furniture, an absurdly ornate piece of jewelry stuck to Stewart’s head. The girls in my audience cooed at each of these shots, sometimes outright moaning. It was freaky, until I realized I was watching emo-porn for the tween girl set.

The PG-13 Sex Scene To End All PG-13 Sex Scenes

You’d think that after three films and however-much-time-has-passed in the novels, Edward and Bella’s “first time” (the word “sex” is never used here, because…I mean, my God, how filthy would that be?!) would be a bed-breaking, Earth-shattering affair. And ya know what? It is. Edward hits that like the fist of an angry God, ripping a huge chunk out of the headboard, leaving bruises all over Bella’s beautifully, uh, already-sickly-looking pale skin, and somehow destroying every pillow in the process. At least, that’s what I gathered from the onscreen evidence; it’s entirely possible that—in the same world where vampires sparkle—vampires also ejaculate feathers. I mean, Edward just decimates that ass. But this is a PG-13 movie, so we get a couple quick shots—mostly of furniture being destroyed—before the all-purpose “cut to the morning after” shot. Still, though, it’s unintentionally hilarious.

The post PG-13 Sex And Vampire C-Sections: ‘Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1′ Is Unintentionally Awesome appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-review/pg-13-sex-and-vampire-c-sections-breaking-dawn-part-1-is-unintentional-awesome/feed/ 0 crying_girl breaking-dawn-trailer-2-preview
A Guy’s Guide To The ‘Twilight’ Characters http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/a-guys-guide-to-the-twilight-characters/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/a-guys-guide-to-the-twilight-characters/#comments Tue, 15 Nov 2011 17:00:21 +0000 Nicholas Pell http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=236254 Everything you need to know to fake a conversation about Twilight...

The post A Guy’s Guide To The ‘Twilight’ Characters appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
Get ready, guys. The new Twilight film, Breaking Dawn, Part I, is coming. This means that at some point in the next month, a girl is going to want to discuss the movies with you, if not actually drag you to a screening. As such, you need to pretend like you care about Twilight, which is a tall order. Luckily, Screen Junkies has you covered. Here’s part one to our four-part guide to understanding as much as you need to understand — or as much as there is to understand — about Twilight.

Check out a Guy’s Guide to Twilight, The Twilight Saga: New Moon, and The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

The Characters

Bella Swan

Bella Swan is the protagonist of Twilight. Her name means “beautiful swan.” Sadly, we aren’t kidding. She is kind of a stand in for Stephanie Meyers, a creepy Mormon lady who clearly wants to be in an abusive relationship with a 100-year old man posing as a 17-year old. She has absolutely no personal qualities other than loving Edward Cullen, and she makes one single bitchface throughout all of the Twilight movies. She thinks she likes Jacob for a little while, but mostly she’s just into having some super-old dude she barely knows tell her what to do all the time.

Edward Cullen

Edward Cullen is Bella Swan’s love. He’s a creepy old man in the body of a 17-year-old boy who is, for some reason, hanging around high school girls. Female Twi-hards think he’s super romantic and ignore what an abusive, crazy dude he is. When Bella is sleeping, he lurks in her bedroom without her knowledge, and when she’s awake, he’s always telling her what to do. We never get any reason for why Edward loves Bella so much, which isn’t surprising, since she has no personality, and his character has all the depth of and nuance of Tony Danza’s acting.

Also, he sparkles like glitter in the sun and wears a “purity ring” because Twilight is basically Mormon propaganda.

Jacob Black

Jacob Black is a werewolf who is pretty awesome until he falls in love with Bella, at which point he becomes a total vagine. He’s a Native American, which is admittedly pretty rad, as is being a werewolf. He builds motorcycles from scratch with his bare hands, which actually qualifies him as a legit bad ass. Sadly, the fact that he’s a bad ass is probably why Bella ends up with Edward. Twilight is basically for depressing fat chicks, and they’d rather see a sensitive lady man like Edward get the girl than a dude with tattoos who reeks of motor grease.

Unfortunately, as the movies go on, Jacob increasingly becomes a thoughtful, sensitive man who knows how to console Bella, cook a romantic dinner, and shop for tampons without even being told what brand to buy.

The post A Guy’s Guide To The ‘Twilight’ Characters appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/a-guys-guide-to-the-twilight-characters/feed/ 0 BellaSwan EdwardCullenSparkles JacobBlack
8 Things To Do While Waiting In Line For The Twilight Premiere http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/8-things-to-do-while-waiting-in-line-for-the-twilight-premiere/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/8-things-to-do-while-waiting-in-line-for-the-twilight-premiere/#comments Thu, 10 Nov 2011 19:30:20 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=235974 Tell everyone you're there for the premiere of the new pornographic film 'Breaking Dawn'.

The post 8 Things To Do While Waiting In Line For The Twilight Premiere appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
Unsurprisingly, Twilight fans have begun lining up outside the Nokia Theater in downtown Los Angeles in order to catch a glimps of their favorite stars on the red carpet for Monday’s Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1 premiere. Well, there’s a lot of time to kill between now and Monday’s event, so if you’re thinking about joining them, or already in line, we have assembled a helpful guide of eight things to do to help pass the time.

Introducing Everyone To Your Pet Chipmunk, Taylor Lautner

I keep harping on this, but I will not rest until everyone admits that Taylor Lautner looks like a damn chipmunk. It’s not a compliment, and it’s not a criticism. It’s a statement of fact. He’s got chipmunk teeth and puffy little cheeks, and if chipmunks had personal trainers, I’m pretty sure that their abs would closely resemble his.

Broker A Truce Between Team Edward And Team Jacob

This is quickly turning into the India-Pakistan of the kiddie-lit set. If I had seen any of the Twilight books or movies, I might be able to insert some witticism about why one is superior to the other, but alas. Frankly, brokering a truce between these two factions isn’t likely, due to their Al-Qaeda-like devotion to their cause, so the best thing to do is arm them, and hope for a swift resolution with minimal collateral damage.

“TEAM JACOB IS NO MORE! JOIN TEAM EDWARD OR THE STREETS WILL FLOW WITH YOUR BLOOD! HALALALALALALALALALALALA!”

Tell Fellow Campers That You Are Happy That You Brought Extra Shit Buckets, Then Sell Shit Buckets To Them For $200 Each

I understand that they’re big fans, but my guess is that many of these dumb people didn’t think things through. Sure, the restaurant owners will probably let the Twihards use their restrooms during business hours, but these people are living outdoors for almost a week. Not everything can be done during business hours. These people will need to defecate, and when they do, inform them that you WILL NOT save their place in line. Rather, they can pay $200 for a sparkling-new shit bucket, or they can leave the line and take their chances.

I also just really like the idea of a bunch of teenagers in Twilight shirts carrying buckets of their own waste, unsure of where to put them come Monday.

The post 8 Things To Do While Waiting In Line For The Twilight Premiere appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/8-things-to-do-while-waiting-in-line-for-the-twilight-premiere/feed/ 0 lautner team edward poop bucket
Taylor Lautner Surprises Us By Producing, Starring In A Gus Van Sant Film, Reading The ‘New Yorker’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/taylor-lautner-surprises-us-by-producing-starring-in-a-gus-van-sant-film-reading-the-new-yorker/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/taylor-lautner-surprises-us-by-producing-starring-in-a-gus-van-sant-film-reading-the-new-yorker/#comments Wed, 02 Nov 2011 17:16:23 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=234753 I still don't know what a producer does, but it surprises me nonetheless that Lautner is capable of doing it.

The post Taylor Lautner Surprises Us By Producing, Starring In A Gus Van Sant Film, Reading The ‘New Yorker’ appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
After the disappointment of Abduction, it would appear that Taylor Lautner has gone in a different direction, having optioned a New Yorker article to be adapted by Gus Van Sant. Lautner would star in and produce the unspecified project.

While I would rather see someone try and fail at a meaningful project than I would phone in some mindless action fare, it seems that Lautner has swung the pendulum WAY back to the other side, having been in talks to star in a whole slew of action films, including:

I can say, even with only a passing familiarity with the above projects, that I would rather see him option and star in one of those unfunny cartoons from the New Yorker than I would appear in any of those films.
For instance, it could be a one-panel cartoon of Taylor Lautner with his shirt off, walking into Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce, and Don Draper could be sitting at his desk, and the bottom would say, “No, no, no. We are looking for an AD executive.”
Take all the time you need.

The post Taylor Lautner Surprises Us By Producing, Starring In A Gus Van Sant Film, Reading The ‘New Yorker’ appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/taylor-lautner-surprises-us-by-producing-starring-in-a-gus-van-sant-film-reading-the-new-yorker/feed/ 0
5 Careers Taylor Lautner Should Pursue Besides Acting http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/5-careers-taylor-lautner-should-pursue-besides-acting/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/5-careers-taylor-lautner-should-pursue-besides-acting/#comments Thu, 22 Sep 2011 13:36:39 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=229498 There are so many jobs more fulfilling than "B-list movie star." Just ask my mechanic, Michael Dudikoff.

The post 5 Careers Taylor Lautner Should Pursue Besides Acting appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
I’m not a Taylor Lautner fan. I have never been wronged by the guy. In fact, I don’t even think I’ve ever seen any of his movies. But I’m painfully aware of his presence. I’ve never heard him speak, but should the situation require it, I’m confident I could sketch his abs from memory.

As such, Taylor Lautner has done nothing to my benefit, but occupies a spot in my brain that probably used to hold the quadratic equation or the significance of the Magna Carta or the Battle of Hastings.

God damn you, Lautner. If only you weren’t an actor, I’d have that knowledge back. As such, here are a few jobs I wish Taylor Lautner had instead of “actor.”

Blimp Pilot

Like I said, I have no problem with Lautner, I just think he’s probably not a good actor. For instance, he’s a good-looking guy, but in Hollywood, that and fifty cents will get you a Coke (not coke, mind you, but rather a soda). However, if he held some other job, I might be able to appreciate him a little more.

If I won a trip on the MetLife blimp to get an aerial view of the women’s semifinals at the US Open, I would want to meet the pilot, because when I step into a floating balloon, I like know who’s in charge of my safety. Right then, out of the cabin, Lautner would step around the corner and extend his hand.

“Hi, I’m Taylor Lautner, but please, call me Pilot Taylor.”
“You betcha, Taylor. Thanks for the opportunity this afternoon.”
“Seriously, folks, it’s my pleasure. Is the wife I presume?”

My wife and I would then sit wherever one sits in a blimp and discuss how impressive it is that such a handsome man is a blimp pilot.

Chipmunk Veterinarian

I am keeping it intentionally vague as to whether I mean a vet that treats chipmunks or a general vet that has many chipmunk-like characteristics.

While it would be impressive if he (or anyone, for that matter) was to become a veterinarian, it would be soooo much cooler if he became a veterinarian that exclusively treated chipmunks. Because he so much resembles a chipmunk himself.

Everyone would be all, “I heard that, while in the womb, a small part of his DNA was spliced with chipmunk DNA, and now he feels a kinship to them, so he’s dedicated his life to treating chipmunks to ensure that they have the highest quality of life of any rodent.”

And some other dude would be like, “No, no, no. I heard that he liked chipmunks from a young age and he has spent so much time with them, that he has begun to take on chipmunk characteristics.”

And then the hipster guy in on the conversation would be all, “I was into chipmunks a long time ago, but they’re kinda played out now.”

Kevin Spacey’s Assistant

I’m sure Lautner is very hard-working, so he could complete all the duties required of a personal assistant, but I think the whole time, people would be a little suspect of the arrangement. They’d be all, “Did you see Spacey’s new assistant? What’s his name? Travis? What do you think is going on there? You don’t think…NO! NO WAY!”

And then someone else would be like “Dude. It makes sense. Think about it. When was the last time you saw Kevin Spacey with a date? He took his mom to the Oscars in 1996. I mean, I’m sure the kid makes a good latte and everything, but it’s a little hard to ignore.”

The post 5 Careers Taylor Lautner Should Pursue Besides Acting appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/5-careers-taylor-lautner-should-pursue-besides-acting/feed/ 0 #5 #4 #3
Abduction http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/films/abduction/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/films/abduction/#comments Sat, 17 Sep 2011 23:59:19 +0000 Screen Junkies http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=228102 Director: John Singleton Cast: Taylor Lautner, Lily Collins, Alfred Molina Synopsis: A thriller centered on a young man who sets out to uncover the truth about his life after finding his baby photo...

The post Abduction appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
Director: John Singleton

Cast: Taylor Lautner, Lily Collins, Alfred Molina

Synopsis: A thriller centered on a young man who sets out to uncover the truth about his life after finding his baby photo on a missing persons website.

Release Date: September 23, 2011

The post Abduction appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/films/abduction/feed/ 0
Boot Knockin’, Werewolf Fights, And Bad Burritos In ‘Twilight: Breaking Dawn – Part 1′ Trailer http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/boot-knockin-werewolf-fights-and-bad-burritos-in-twilight-breaking-dawn-part-1-trailer/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/boot-knockin-werewolf-fights-and-bad-burritos-in-twilight-breaking-dawn-part-1-trailer/#comments Wed, 14 Sep 2011 13:56:05 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=video&p=228397 Bella learns the consequences of buying hot meals at the gas station.

The post Boot Knockin’, Werewolf Fights, And Bad Burritos In ‘Twilight: Breaking Dawn – Part 1′ Trailer appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
It’s every young husband’s nightmare — after getting your wife pregnant during the honeymoon, your super-genes cause the baby to grow at a rapid rate and it is born within a matter of days, thus killing the mom. C’mon guys, we’ve all thought about it.

That’s exactly what happens to Robert Pattinson in the new trailer for Twilight: Breaking Dawn – Part 1. Also, looks like we get a rumble between vampires and werewolves. If you’re into the imagery of gaunt art school students suplexing over-sized wolves, you’d better get yourself a ticket, because this is the movie for you.

The post Boot Knockin’, Werewolf Fights, And Bad Burritos In ‘Twilight: Breaking Dawn – Part 1′ Trailer appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/boot-knockin-werewolf-fights-and-bad-burritos-in-twilight-breaking-dawn-part-1-trailer/feed/ 0
Who Wins In A Battle Between Taylor Lautner And The Rock? That’s Right. The Audience Does. http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/who-wins-in-a-battle-between-taylor-lautner-and-the-rock-thats-right-the-audience-does/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/who-wins-in-a-battle-between-taylor-lautner-and-the-rock-thats-right-the-audience-does/#comments Wed, 31 Aug 2011 20:58:35 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=226718 David's weakness will be his chipmunk teeth.

The post Who Wins In A Battle Between Taylor Lautner And The Rock? That’s Right. The Audience Does. appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
In a film project that really represents a classic “David and Goliath”-type battle, Taylor Lautner and The Rock are being courted to star in…a movie about David and Goliath. While the exact casting isn’t clear, one would assume that The Rock will play Goliath, while Taylor Lautner will play Goliath’s pansexual houseboy, Gabe. Or he might play David. As I said, it’s not specified yet.

While I was always under the impression that The Simpsons got the proportions of David and Goliath right with their Bart vs. Nelson showdown in the “Simpsons Bible Stories” episode, without CGI or some very impressive lifts, the showdown would be a 6’5″ The Rock against a 5’10″ Lautner. I don’t think the discrepancy is there. I think the smart move here is to surgically remove Lautner’s legs to really play up the difference in size.

No word if they picked The Rock in the hopes that he could bring his old Scorpion King outfits, but I wouldn’t rule it out.

The post Who Wins In A Battle Between Taylor Lautner And The Rock? That’s Right. The Audience Does. appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/who-wins-in-a-battle-between-taylor-lautner-and-the-rock-thats-right-the-audience-does/feed/ 0
Nicolas Cage, Taylor Lautner, And Some Outdated Stars On ‘Expendables 2′ Wishlist http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/nicolas-cage-taylor-lautner-and-some-outdated-stars-on-expendables-2-wishlist/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/nicolas-cage-taylor-lautner-and-some-outdated-stars-on-expendables-2-wishlist/#comments Fri, 26 Aug 2011 18:17:13 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=226045 Is it a compliment to make this list?

The post Nicolas Cage, Taylor Lautner, And Some Outdated Stars On ‘Expendables 2′ Wishlist appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
Sylvester Stallone and director Simon West are putting together their casting wishlist for The Expendables 2, and you don’t need to be an over-the-hill action star to get in on the fun anymore. Though it helps.

In addition to the previously announced John Travolta, Chuck Norris, and Donnie Yen, Sly would also like to find a way to shoehorn Nicolas Cage, Taylor Lautner, Christian Slater, and Highlander himself, Christopher Lambert, into this thing. That list makes sense. Cage, Slater, and Lambert all seem like they would be game. The only X factor is Lautner. Can he hold his own starring opposite these legends or is he going to want autographs? We are talking about a Face/Off AND Broken Arrow reunion after all. (Moviehole)

The post Nicolas Cage, Taylor Lautner, And Some Outdated Stars On ‘Expendables 2′ Wishlist appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/nicolas-cage-taylor-lautner-and-some-outdated-stars-on-expendables-2-wishlist/feed/ 0
Taylor Lautner Still Running, Hiding In Second ‘Abduction’ Trailer http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/taylor-lautner-still-running-hiding-in-second-abduction-trailer/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/taylor-lautner-still-running-hiding-in-second-abduction-trailer/#comments Thu, 11 Aug 2011 21:58:25 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=video&p=224336 They shot his fake dad!

The post Taylor Lautner Still Running, Hiding In Second ‘Abduction’ Trailer appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
post-album postid=”212009″ item=”1″]Poor Taylor Lautner. One day he’s a misunderstood werewolf with chipmunk teeth, the next day he’s finding out that the people that have been raising him aren’t his parents. And to add insult to injury, he still has those chipmunk teeth.

This Abduction trailer has us running and hiding with Lautner as he tries to piece together who those people were and why they’re now dead. It would be dismissive and easy to call this a “Bourne for the Twilight set,” which is exactly why I’m so comfortable calling this film a “Bourne for the Twilight set.”

John Singleton appears to have done a decent job with the action here, which leaves the acting in the very capable hands of Lautner. *Trying hard not to giggle*

 

The post Taylor Lautner Still Running, Hiding In Second ‘Abduction’ Trailer appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/taylor-lautner-still-running-hiding-in-second-abduction-trailer/feed/ 0
What’s Sillier: Taylor Lautner Surfing On A Building Or Sean Penn In A Ladywig? http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/whats-sillier-taylor-lautner-surfing-on-a-building-or-sean-penn-in-a-ladywig/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/whats-sillier-taylor-lautner-surfing-on-a-building-or-sean-penn-in-a-ladywig/#comments Wed, 22 Jun 2011 18:47:12 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=217418 New posters for 'Abduction', 'This Must Be The Place', 'Crazy Stupid Love', and 'Don't Be Afraid of the Dark'

The post What’s Sillier: Taylor Lautner Surfing On A Building Or Sean Penn In A Ladywig? appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
A couple of new posters for you to contemplate before you decide whether or not they are fit for your wall. First, there’s Taylor Lautner surfing on a skyscraper in Abduction. Then there’s Crazy Stupid Love, in which Steve Carell plays a newly-divorced man re-entering the dating scene with some coaching from Ryan Gosling. Then we there’s a creepy poster for the Guillermo del Toro-produced haunted house thriller Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark. And then there’s an even creepier poster of Sean Penn dressed a post-punk rocker in This Must Be The Place.

Posters are all below but proceed with caution.

 

It’s like, use the stairs, dude. AND NO RUNNING!! (via Yahoo)

Here Steve Carell gets his first gander at vagina and stares with gape-mouthed wonder. I’m betting it belongs to Julianne Moore or Marisa Tomei. They’ve got a reputation. Or maybe that’s actually Kevin Bacon in front of him. I believe we were all just as surprised when we saw Wild Things. (via Yahoo)

I know that I said no running on the stairs, but… RUN, BITCH! RUN!!! (via Empire)

We laugh but this look could still get him laid in Silverlake. (via Recent Movie Posters)

The post What’s Sillier: Taylor Lautner Surfing On A Building Or Sean Penn In A Ladywig? appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/whats-sillier-taylor-lautner-surfing-on-a-building-or-sean-penn-in-a-ladywig/feed/ 3 adbuction-poster crazy-stupid-love-poster dontbeafraidofthedark this-must-be-the-place
Trailer For ‘Twilight: Breaking Dawn’ Has It All http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/trailer-for-twilight-breaking-dawn-has-it-all/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/trailer-for-twilight-breaking-dawn-has-it-all/#comments Sun, 05 Jun 2011 23:25:16 +0000 Joseph Gibson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=Video&p=214855 Lookin' good, sexy vampires.

The post Trailer For ‘Twilight: Breaking Dawn’ Has It All appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>

6 photosKeep Looking At New Pics From 'Twilight: Breaking Dawn' Forever

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 starring Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart (whew) is either a movie you have no interest in seeing, or the Second Coming of Christ. Or maybe somewhere in between? Anyway, here’s the first trailer for the hotly anticipated sexy married vampires movie, and it’s got all the sad eyes and violin music you could ask for. Here’s an official plot synopsis, in case the trailer is not enough for your unquenchable thirst:

“After their wedding, Bella and Edward travel to Rio de Janeiro for their honeymoon, where they finally give in to their passions. Bella soon discovers she is pregnant, and during a nearly fatal childbirth, Edward finally fulfills her wish to become immortal.  But the arrival of their remarkable daughter, Renesmee, sets in motion a perilous chain of events that pits the Cullens and their allies against the Volturi, the fearsome council of vampire leaders, setting the stage for an all-out battle.”

Huh. Here’s hoping the fearsome council of vampire leaders forgot to bring their magic swords or whatever. The movie’s coming out on November 18, so try not to run afoul of any sexy vampires and/or werewolves before then.

The post Trailer For ‘Twilight: Breaking Dawn’ Has It All appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/trailer-for-twilight-breaking-dawn-has-it-all/feed/ 0 Twilight
Keep Looking At New Pics From ‘Twilight: Breaking Dawn’ Forever http://www.screenjunkies.com/gallery/keep-looking-at-new-pics-from-twilight-breaking-dawn-forever/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/gallery/keep-looking-at-new-pics-from-twilight-breaking-dawn-forever/#comments Mon, 02 May 2011 18:06:18 +0000 Joseph Gibson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=Gallery&p=209989 It's not any less boring than honeymoon photos you see on Facebook.

The post Keep Looking At New Pics From ‘Twilight: Breaking Dawn’ Forever appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
There are many ways to try and pass the time until the release of Twilight: Breaking Dawn in November. You could try and put yourself into a coma by bashing your skull with a hammer. You could go the Eric Cartman route and attempt to freeze yourself in the snow until the release date. But the safest option is to look at these pictures, most of which I’ve gathered are from Bella and Edward’s honeymoon, featuring Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, and Taylor “Third Wheel” Lautner. If you already knew that, congratulations, you’re a bigger fan of Twilight tha I am. Try not to let it get to your head.

The post Keep Looking At New Pics From ‘Twilight: Breaking Dawn’ Forever appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
http://www.screenjunkies.com/gallery/keep-looking-at-new-pics-from-twilight-breaking-dawn-forever/feed/ 0
See Some New ‘Twilight’ Pics Before It’s Too Late http://www.screenjunkies.com/gallery/see-some-new-twilight-pics-before-its-too-late/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/gallery/see-some-new-twilight-pics-before-its-too-late/#comments Thu, 28 Apr 2011 19:32:02 +0000 Joseph Gibson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=Gallery&p=209524 They may not show up in mirrors, but they do show up in photographs.

The post See Some New ‘Twilight’ Pics Before It’s Too Late appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
The first part of Twilight: Breaking Dawn or whatever it’s called from director Bill Condon might not be coming out until November, but that doesn’t mean you’ll be completely without the original sexy vampires until then. Here are some pictures from Entertainment Weekly to tide you over.

As for the pictures themselves, they look pretty much like you’d expect, with Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, and Kristen Stewart doing various things. You’ve got the pale guy and the girl eating eggs or something. The other guy running through the rain, some girls in dresses, some magazine covers – let’s not make too big a deal out of this, OK? Just try to maintain your composure and remember: It’s only a movie.

The post See Some New ‘Twilight’ Pics Before It’s Too Late appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
http://www.screenjunkies.com/gallery/see-some-new-twilight-pics-before-its-too-late/feed/ 0
Twihards Rejoice For Taylor Lautner’s ‘Abduction’ Trailer http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/twihards-rejoice-for-taylor-lautners-abduction-trailer/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/twihards-rejoice-for-taylor-lautners-abduction-trailer/#comments Thu, 14 Apr 2011 02:42:18 +0000 Geoffrey Golden http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=Video&p=207022 If you aren't crying with joy and squealing while watching this trailer for Taylor Lautner's 'Abduction', they will kick you out of Team Jacob.

The post Twihards Rejoice For Taylor Lautner’s ‘Abduction’ Trailer appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
If you aren’t crying with joy and squealing while watching this trailer for Taylor Lautner‘s Abduction, they will kick you out of Team Jacob. I assume for most Screen Junkies readers, that would be heartbreaking.

Twilight‘s Lautner stars in Abduction, directed by John Singleton, about high school kid who finds out that his parents aren’t really his parents, and then explosions. Suddenly, Lautner is getting tracked down by secret agents and other bad guys who cannot be trusted. But who can be trusted, you guys? All I know is, I hope I never discover that my parents are fakes, so I won’t have to jump off buildings and dodge gunfire. I assume that’s standard protocol.

I do like the company Lautner’s keeping these days, with hot Lily Collins by his side and forever classy Sigourney Weaver to watch his back. Maybe his parents are aliens? Those bitches.

The post Twihards Rejoice For Taylor Lautner’s ‘Abduction’ Trailer appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/twihards-rejoice-for-taylor-lautners-abduction-trailer/feed/ 0 taylor-lautner-abduction
Michael Bay Owns Taylor Lautner For 2012 http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/michael-bay-owns-taylor-lautner-for-2012/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/michael-bay-owns-taylor-lautner-for-2012/#comments Wed, 16 Feb 2011 20:30:17 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=27581 Michael Bay has just written himself into Taylor Lautner's calendar with the most awesome ink money can buy.

The post Michael Bay Owns Taylor Lautner For 2012 appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>

"You clean that plate, Buster!"

Michael Bay has just written himself into Taylor Lautner‘s calendar with the most awesome ink money can buy. With his 2011 already booked up with Incarceron, the Twilight finale, some untitled spy thing, and Stretch Armstrong, Bay was able to secure the overworked teen for 2012. Let’s hope the Mayans were right.

Last night, a script was sent out to all the major studios for auction. Bidding begins at one bajillion dollars (US). There are no details about the secret project’s plot but it’s described as Mr. & Mrs. Smith meets Wanted. So… it stars two Angelina Jolies back when she’d do nudity? Do they make out?? That’d be cool. (Deadline)

The post Michael Bay Owns Taylor Lautner For 2012 appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/michael-bay-owns-taylor-lautner-for-2012/feed/ 4 bay_lautner
Chick From ‘Harry Potter’ Meets Guy From ‘Twilight’ In Today’s Most Swirly-Inducing News http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/chick-from-harry-potter-meets-guy-from-twilight-in-todays-most-swirly-inducing-news/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/chick-from-harry-potter-meets-guy-from-twilight-in-todays-most-swirly-inducing-news/#comments Fri, 11 Feb 2011 18:26:55 +0000 Joseph Gibson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=26396 Try to resist the urge to find the closest nerd and noogie him until he begs for mercy.

The post Chick From ‘Harry Potter’ Meets Guy From ‘Twilight’ In Today’s Most Swirly-Inducing News appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
Try to resist the urge to find the closest nerd and noogie him until he begs for mercy, because Harry Potter’s Emma Watson is reportedly the number one candidate for the job of costarring in Incarceron with Twilight‘s Taylor Lautner. The movie, in spite of its title, is not a tween reboot of the MSNBC series “Lockup.” Instead, it follows Lautner’s character, who:

“has lived his entire life in Incarceron, a savage, futuristic prison society. He meets the daughter of the warden, who is trapped in her own prison, a futuristic world constructed beautifully to look like the 17th Century. She knows nothing of Incarceron except that it exists. She and Finn simultaneously find a crystal key that allows them to communicate and hatch an escape plan for Finn.”

Cool? The movie has a script but no director yet, maybe because no one is eager to suffer through the millions of teenager screams that would accompany such a job. (via The Playlist)

The post Chick From ‘Harry Potter’ Meets Guy From ‘Twilight’ In Today’s Most Swirly-Inducing News appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/chick-from-harry-potter-meets-guy-from-twilight-in-todays-most-swirly-inducing-news/feed/ 2 emma-watson-underwear
Vanity Fair Kind Enough To Remind Us That Movie Stars Are Really Rich http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/vanity-fair-kind-enough-to-remind-us-that-movie-stars-are-really-rich/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/vanity-fair-kind-enough-to-remind-us-that-movie-stars-are-really-rich/#comments Wed, 02 Feb 2011 22:52:57 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=24234 Vanity Fair has recently released a list of the 40 highest-paid people in film, and it should come as no surprise that the numbers are downright gaudy.

The post Vanity Fair Kind Enough To Remind Us That Movie Stars Are Really Rich appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
Vanity Fair has recently released a list of the 40 highest-paid people in film, and it should come as no surprise that the numbers are downright gaudy. What does comes as a surprise is that only one woman (girl?) cracks the top 15, with Kristen Stewart coming in at #13. Not really sure what to say about that, as it seems that the new guard of actresses always seems to be about 15 years younger than their male counterparts, so that may have something to do with it.

What’s most shocking here is that Taylor Lautner is coming in at #9, which means not only did he out-earn EVERY WOMAN IN HOLLYWOOD, but all but eight of the men as well. According to Vanity Fair, he scored $33.5 million for his work in the two final Twilight installments, as well as simply showing up to film the stinker-in-waiting Abduction. That’s it. I’m gonna start doing 10-15 sit-ups every day.

Some other takeaways that may leave you wanting to kick down the walls of your cubicle:

  • James Cameron leads the pack with $257 million from his film about tall blue people. Glad to see he’s back on his feet.
  • Johnny Depp commands what we in the industry refer to as a “shit-ton” of money for his films, collecting $50 million for Alice in Wonderland, $35 million for whatever Pirates of the Caribbean movie they’re up to now, and $20 million to get seduced by Angelina in The Tourist. Can we take away his remaining indie credibility now?
  • People made a lot of money off of Inception, Iron Man 2, and Twilight.
  • Adam Sandler will not stop making crap movies if he keeps “earning” $50 million per year for being a pudgy schlub.
  • Where did all The Social Network money go?

If you didn’t see your favorite actor or actress on this list, don’t worry. They’re still obscenely rich. (A.V. Club)

The post Vanity Fair Kind Enough To Remind Us That Movie Stars Are Really Rich appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/vanity-fair-kind-enough-to-remind-us-that-movie-stars-are-really-rich/feed/ 0 Screen shot 2011-02-02 at 2.47.55 PM
Lautner In ‘Abduction’: “You’re Not My Real Dad!” http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/lautner-in-abduction-youre-not-my-real-dad/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/lautner-in-abduction-youre-not-my-real-dad/#comments Fri, 21 Jan 2011 20:30:46 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=21408 Taylor Lautner doesn't appear to be hurting himself with his post-Twilight role selections.

The post Lautner In ‘Abduction’: “You’re Not My Real Dad!” appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
Taylor Lautner doesn’t appear to be hurting himself with his post-Twilight role selections. While Fanning has gone all pixie and indie, and even Pattinson is working with Cronenberg, Lautner seems cool with whatever, man. His starring role in Abduction, directed by John Singleton, seems to encapsulate that ethos nicely. Abduction centers around Lautner’s character, who discovers that the adults that have been raising him aren’t his real parents, and escape from them puts his own life in danger. Sounds like that SwimFan/Glass House mashup that no one was clamoring for.

Three stills were released earlier today, which show Lautner alternately running and hiding. No surprises there. With these stills, bask in the glory that is Lautner in Abduction.

Hiding.

Running.

Hiding.

Get excited (?) for Abduction, hitting theaters September 23rd. (Cinema Blend)

The post Lautner In ‘Abduction’: “You’re Not My Real Dad!” appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/lautner-in-abduction-youre-not-my-real-dad/feed/ 0 1_1295639911 3_1295639903 2_1295639917
Girls Want To Play With Lautner, Lautner Wants To Play Spy Games http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/girls-want-to-play-with-lautner-lautner-wants-to-play-spy-games/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/girls-want-to-play-with-lautner-lautner-wants-to-play-spy-games/#comments Wed, 12 Jan 2011 18:05:25 +0000 Dave Horwitz http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=15611 Taylor Lautner has recently signed on to star in eight hundred and forty seven upcoming films, including Incarceron, a strange but interesting sounding young adult lit adaptation about Lautner romancing the daughter of a warden on a prison planet.

The post Girls Want To Play With Lautner, Lautner Wants To Play Spy Games appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
Taylor Lautner has recently signed on to star in eight hundred and forty seven upcoming films, including Incarceron, a strange but interesting sounding young adult lit adaptation about Lautner romancing the daughter of a warden on a prison planet. Based on a popular YA novel by Catherine Fisher, the film is set up at Fox 2000, and three very high profile young actresses are being eyed to play opposite the walking six pack Lautner. Jennifer Lawrence, Blake Lively, and Emma Watson are all in contention for roles in the project, however there will have to be more in it for them than just a paycheck and the opportunity to act opposite a Twilight star, because all three of their careers are taking off at the moment.

In addition to Incarceron, Lautner has also recently attached himself to an untitled spy thriller at New Regency that’s being touted as a youth oriented Bourne Identity. The film is said to be based on the life of Julal Aviv, the Israeli-America security consultant. Lautner’s got a difficult life these days, what with splitting his time between beautiful women and spy heroics has to be tiring. Let’s hope he finds some time to relax with his favorite hobby: running shirtless through woods in cutoff denim shorts. (The Playlist)

The post Girls Want To Play With Lautner, Lautner Wants To Play Spy Games appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/girls-want-to-play-with-lautner-lautner-wants-to-play-spy-games/feed/ 4 Lautner Breakdance
Taylor Lautner Is Going To Jail http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/taylor-lautner-is-going-to-jail/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/taylor-lautner-is-going-to-jail/#comments Thu, 09 Dec 2010 23:08:15 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=11963 They're going to love Taylor Lautner in prison. He's just been sentenced to star in Incarceron. The dumbly-titled film centers around a young man who has spent his entire life in a savage prison society who falls in love with the warden's daughter.

The post Taylor Lautner Is Going To Jail appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>

"Not beanie-weenie again."

They’re going to love Taylor Lautner in prison. He’s just been sentenced to star in Incarceron. The dumbly-titled film centers around a young man who has spent his entire life in a savage prison society who falls in love with the warden’s daughter. Because if there’s one thing a warden would do, it would be to let his daughter come visit his savage prison. “Come to work with Daddy, honey. Don’t look anybody in the eye.”

Anyway, those two fall in love and try to figure out a way for Taylor to escape. I recommend stuffing one of those Taylor Lautner Twilight love pillows into the bed, and then slink out undetected. Either that or he can somehow use his abs to bend the bars. The audience for this really won’t care. (Deadline)

The post Taylor Lautner Is Going To Jail appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/taylor-lautner-is-going-to-jail/feed/ 0 lautner_prison "Not beanie-weenie again."
First ‘Breaking Dawn’ Image Gets Feathery http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-photos/first-breaking-dawn-images-gives-you-feathers/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-photos/first-breaking-dawn-images-gives-you-feathers/#comments Sat, 27 Nov 2010 17:27:11 +0000 Col. Longshanks http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=9253 Here, have a handful of feathers. It's certainly better than another pic of Bella and Edward avoiding eye contact and then making eye contact.

The post First ‘Breaking Dawn’ Image Gets Feathery appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>

Here, have a handful of feathers. It’s certainly better than another pic of Bella and Edward avoiding eye contact and then making eye contact. Director Bill Condon tweeted the above pic from The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 yesterday as a special Thanksgiving treat. I bet many of you are so incredibly thankful. I don’t know the Breaking Dawn story, and I won’t go into why because I’m trying to be less snarky about things that aren’t produced for my personal liking, but apparently feathers happen while Bella and Edward consummate their marriage…by finally banging. Yay, sex! Now that’s something I can get behind. (ComingSoon)

The post First ‘Breaking Dawn’ Image Gets Feathery appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-photos/first-breaking-dawn-images-gives-you-feathers/feed/ 4 breakingdawnfirstlook
Maggie Grace To Catfight Kristen Stewart In ‘Twilight: Breaking Dawn’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/maggie-grace-to-catfight-kristen-stewart-in-twilight-breaking-dawn/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/maggie-grace-to-catfight-kristen-stewart-in-twilight-breaking-dawn/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Someone tell this girl how chairs work. Take off your press-ons, ladies. Things are about to get rowdy. Taken takee Maggie Grace has been cast as Bella's nemesis Irina in Twilight: Breaking Dawn. My girlfriend hasn't updated me yet on the next installment so I'll let Deadline do the honors: Irina is a member of the Denali coven, considered cousins to the Cullen clan as the only other "vegetarian" vampire group. When Irina blames the Cullens for the death of her lover, her actions set in motion a terrifying chain of events. And by terrifying they mean sparkly. The film is being directed by Bill Condon and released in two parts because that means more money. The first part comes out November 18, 2011 and the second part November 16, 2012. After that, Twihards dismember a highly populated metropolis.

The post Maggie Grace To Catfight Kristen Stewart In ‘Twilight: Breaking Dawn’ appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>

Someone tell this girl how chairs work.

Take off your press-ons, ladies. Things are about to get rowdy. Taken takee Maggie Grace has been cast as Bella’s nemesis Irina in Twilight: Breaking Dawn. My girlfriend hasn’t updated me yet on the next installment so I’ll let Deadline do the honors:

Irina is a member of the Denali coven, considered cousins to the Cullen clan as the only other "vegetarian" vampire group. When Irina blames the Cullens for the death of her lover, her actions set in motion a terrifying chain of events.

And by terrifying they mean sparkly. The film is being directed by Bill Condon and released in two parts because that means more money. The first part comes out November 18, 2011 and the second part November 16, 2012. After that, Twihards dismember a highly populated metropolis.

 

The post Maggie Grace To Catfight Kristen Stewart In ‘Twilight: Breaking Dawn’ appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/maggie-grace-to-catfight-kristen-stewart-in-twilight-breaking-dawn/feed/ 0
Taylor Lautner Cries Wolf Over Missing Trailer http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/taylor-lautner-cries-wolf-over-missing-trailer/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/taylor-lautner-cries-wolf-over-missing-trailer/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Taylor Lautner is howling mad at an RV company for not delivering his trailer on time. Get it? I said "howling mad" because he plays a wolf boy in those awful movies. *sigh* At any rate, Lautner is so distraught over the matter that he has filed a lawsuit against the company, McMahon's RV, claiming both "annoyance" and "emotional distress." On the one hand, he allegedly paid $300,000 for the trailer, so I can sort of see his point. On the other hand, he paid $300,000 for a trailer, and someday he'll use it to bang more chicks than I will ever meet even though he looks like one of the rats from those old Quizno's ads. When I look at it that way, I'm more inclined to hope the trailer catches fire while the rich, pretty boy, crybaby is inside. (TMZ via Movie Line)

The post Taylor Lautner Cries Wolf Over Missing Trailer appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>

Taylor Lautner is howling mad at an RV company for not delivering his trailer on time. Get it? I said "howling mad" because he plays a wolf boy in those awful movies. *sigh*

At any rate, Lautner is so distraught over the matter that he has filed a lawsuit against the company, McMahon’s RV, claiming both "annoyance" and "emotional distress."

On the one hand, he allegedly paid $300,000 for the trailer, so I can sort of see his point. On the other hand, he paid $300,000 for a trailer, and someday he’ll use it to bang more chicks than I will ever meet even though he looks like one of the rats from those old Quizno’s ads. When I look at it that way, I’m more inclined to hope the trailer catches fire while the rich, pretty boy, crybaby is inside. (TMZ via Movie Line)

 

The post Taylor Lautner Cries Wolf Over Missing Trailer appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/taylor-lautner-cries-wolf-over-missing-trailer/feed/ 0
Helen Mirren and Russell Brand Give ‘Arthur’ a Happy Ending http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/helen-mirren-and-russell-brand-give-arthur-a-happy-ending/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/helen-mirren-and-russell-brand-give-arthur-a-happy-ending/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Who says Hollywood is out of ideas? Obviously they haven't seen this picture of Helen Mirren giving Russell Brand the old "rub & tug" on the set of Arthur. In fact, seeing a geriatric Mirren giving Brand a bathtub HJ is the most original thing I've seen in weeks, and mind you, I watch Bravo daily. The only question is how is Hollywood going to top this? Chances are we'll see Betty White giving an "Asian massage" to the wolf-boy from Twilight sometime soon. "Team Jacob" indeed! (Cinema Blend)

The post Helen Mirren and Russell Brand Give ‘Arthur’ a Happy Ending appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>

Who says Hollywood is out of ideas? Obviously they haven’t seen this picture of Helen Mirren giving Russell Brand the old "rub & tug" on the set of Arthur. In fact, seeing a geriatric Mirren giving Brand a bathtub HJ is the most original thing I’ve seen in weeks, and mind you, I watch Bravo daily.

The only question is how is Hollywood going to top this? Chances are we’ll see Betty White giving an "Asian massage" to the wolf-boy from Twilight sometime soon. "Team Jacob" indeed! (Cinema Blend)

 

The post Helen Mirren and Russell Brand Give ‘Arthur’ a Happy Ending appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/helen-mirren-and-russell-brand-give-arthur-a-happy-ending/feed/ 1
‘Twilight’ Lead Mofos Gettin’ Paid As Such http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/twilight-lead-mofos-gettin-paid-as-such/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/twilight-lead-mofos-gettin-paid-as-such/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Good news everybody!! In forty years when we're all greeting the chubby masses at Wal-Mart because there's no money left for Social Security payouts, we can at least sleep peacefully knowing that the Twilight leads/murderers are living more than comfortably. Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, and Taylor Lautner will be paid $41 million to mumble their way through The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn. That breaks down to $25 million upfront plus 7.5 percent of the gross revenue. Multiply that by the fact that the gross is a f*ckload and you've got MO' MONEY! MO' MONEY!! MO' MONEY!!! That's solid arithmetic so don't even reach for your calculator.But, you know what? They've earned it. They put their privacy and safety in harms way on a daily basis. Bless those marble-mouthed youngsters and their chiseled stomachs. Now if you'll excuse me. The car I live in is being towed. Time to turn on the waterworks. (/Film)

The post ‘Twilight’ Lead Mofos Gettin’ Paid As Such appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>

Good news everybody!! In forty years when we’re all greeting the chubby masses at Wal-Mart because there’s no money left for Social Security payouts, we can at least sleep peacefull knowing that the Twilight leads/murderers are living more than comfortably. Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, and Taylor Lautner will be paid $41 million to mumble their way through The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn. That breaks down to $25 million upfront plus 7.5 percent of the gross revenue. Multiply that by the fact that the gross is a f*ckload and you’ve got MO’ MONEY! MO’ MONEY!! MO’ MONEY!!! That’s solid arithmetic so don’t even reach for your calculator.

But, you know what? They’ve earned it. They put their privacy and safety in harms way on a daily basis. Bless those marble-mouthed youngsters and their chiseled stomachs. Now if you’ll excuse me. The car I live in is being towed. Time to turn on the waterworks. (/Film)

 

The post ‘Twilight’ Lead Mofos Gettin’ Paid As Such appeared first on Screen Junkies.

]]>
http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/twilight-lead-mofos-gettin-paid-as-such/feed/ 0