Screen Junkies » svu http://www.screenjunkies.com Movie Reviews & TV Show Reviews Thu, 18 Sep 2014 20:13:15 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Nine Creepier Than Creepy Episodes of ‘Law and Order: SVU’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-lists/nine-creepier-than-creepy-episodes-of-law-and-order-svu/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-lists/nine-creepier-than-creepy-episodes-of-law-and-order-svu/#comments Fri, 30 Sep 2011 15:57:19 +0000 Nicholas Pell http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=230671 Sometimes we think they should just rename Law and Order: SVU to Semen in the Chest Cavity.

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Sometimes we think they should just rename Law and Order: SVU to Semen in the Chest Cavity. It’s pretty amazing that a creepy show revolving around dead, raped girls wrapped in plastic has lasted this long. With the 13th season of SVU underway, we’ve been thinking about some of our favorite deliciously creepy episodes. You might want to turn on a night light before reading this one, kids… or buy some mace.

“Unorthodox” (Season 9)

As if Alexander Gould weren’t creepy enough as the budding sociopath Shane Botwin on Weeds, he really outdid himself in his SVU bid. When a kid shows up to school bleeding out the ass, Olivia and Stabler are naturally called in, suspecting yet another religious leader with a penchant for little boys. Nope. What they’ve got is a porn-addicted young boy who’s seen a few too many episodes of Oz. “Sometimes they pretend they don’t like it. It’s just part of the sex.”

“Pure” (Season 6)

Martin Short plays Sebastian Ballentine a creepactular psychic with shockingly accurate details of a kidnapping-murder, the skeptical Stabler unsurprisingly suspects he’s no clairvoyant. As this is SVU, you know from the outset the answer won’t be simple and it’s not. They soon catch the trail of one Henry Palavar. Things take a turn for the downright scary when the pair learn that Henry Palavar and Sebastian Ballentine are one and the same.

“Care” (Season 3)

The video game obsessed are always a little creepy. In this episode of SVU, a man addicted with a medieval video game is the prime suspect after a little girl’s body is found at a construction site. The real culprit is far scarier than any mouth breather you might encounter on World of Warcraft, however. Grandma beat the poor kid to death for wetting the bed. We were pretty glad when she died of a heart attack in prison at the end.

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http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-lists/nine-creepier-than-creepy-episodes-of-law-and-order-svu/feed/ 0 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit law-and-order_-svub basement_dweller_trollcat
Characters We Keep Running Into On ‘SVU’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-lists/characters-we-keep-running-into-on-svu/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-lists/characters-we-keep-running-into-on-svu/#comments Thu, 22 Sep 2011 23:41:53 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=229652 I had the mayor and the commissioner all over my ass to create this list.

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As Law & Order: Special Victims Unit just kicked off its 13th season, we are afforded the pleasure of reuniting with some very familiar faces that we haven’t seen all summer. Well, unless we watched one of the 15,000 reruns of this show over the summer. While we have grown to regard Chris Meloni and Mariska Hargitay as family members over the last decade, it’s the little people that we’ve grown closer to. The archetypes that keep the show so damn familiar episode after episode. The unsung heroes of SVU.

These are their stories.

9. Stockboy That Can’t Stop Hauling Boxes For Five Minutes While He Talks To The Cops About A Serial Killer

He’s busy, so he’s just gonna continue to move stuff from the van onto the loading dock while you give him the details of the teenage debutante that was raped 700 times then cut into 7 perfectly equal pieces.

Also, no. Edgar didn’t show up for work today. Called in sick about two hours ago. Why you ask?

8. The Jogger

In case you didn’t know, 46% of Central Park joggers find dead bodies on their runs. If those joggers are conducting a generic conversation about last night’s Knicks game, that number skyrockets to 92%. New York is a dangerous place, but fortunately, joggers throughout the island of Manhattan are finding the dead bodies as quickly as they’re being created by the perverts running rampant throughout the city.

If the NYPD is conducting a search for a young girl they presume to be dead, they should conduct a department-wide fun run. They could find every missing person in about 28 minutes.

7. The Judge That Wants To Know Where You’re Going With All This

She’s going to allow it, but you better get somewhere with this. And quick.

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