YOUR DAYS ARE NUMBERED!

There are people on the Internet who are not what they claim to be. If you establish contact with an underage girl or boy online, hoping to ply them with wine coolers or various hard lemonades or ciders, you may be the victim of an elaborate ruse that will reveal your true intentions to everyone!

As our 41st-favorite newspaper, the Toronto Sun, reveals, three teenage boys have been posing as jailbait online (a la To Catch A Predator), only to meet the predators in crowded restaurants while wearing superhero outfits. At this point, the teens announce to the restaurant, “This man’s a pedophile. He brought marijuana for a 15-year-old girl. He’s here to have sex with her.” The crusaders had been videotaping their confrontations and posting the videos online, but the police have ordered the taken down.

Click Here To See The ‘To Troll A Predator’ Videos

The teens are currently being investigated by police for their efforts, perhaps because their bravery and heroism is too awesome for most people to handle, especially most Canadians.

What does this have to do with movies? I dunno. Superheroes are in movies sometimes. Whatever. It’s a neat story.

Handicapped kids really need to be more careful when bartering with alien monkeys. The fate of the planet hangs in the balance of their choices. (via The Playlist)

Iron Fist

Iron Fist harnessing his chi

First up is the enigmatic “Iron Fist”. Although a feature film was supposed to be in the works, it seems to have become lost in development hell since nothing concrete has ever materialized. A pity because Iron Fist is definitely one of the more interesting characters in comic books. A formidable martial-arts fighter, Iron Fist trained under the venerable master, Lei Kung. Through his training he learned deadly fighting techniques and developed the ability to focus his chi to augment his already impressive physical attributes. As a result, Iron Fist has enhanced strength, speed, reflexes, agility and durability. At one point, he even battled the powerfu Iron Man to a near standstill. How’s that for cinema worthy?

Captain Marvel

Captain Marvel shooting fire blasts

Not to be mistaken for Shazam, the DC Comics character with the lightning bolt motif on his chest and a host of powers similar to Superman‘s (though their super suits are so similar you’d be hard-pressed to distinguish the two), Captain Marvel is Marvel Comics‘ version of, well, Superman. But Captain Marvel is his own man—a superhero secretly sent by an alien race to spy on humanity, while living with the people of Earth, he fought alongside this planet’s heroes defending the populace from evildoers. Slowly, Captain Marvel began to understand us and empathize with us. When his superiors learn about his apparent betrayal, he is branded a traitor for his transgressions. Captain Marvel has the ability to fly and fire energy blasts. He’ll also kick anyone’s ass in a fight.

Winter Soldier

Marvel Comics' Winter Soldier

Comic aficionados know that Captain America once had a dependable sidekick. The young James “Bucky” Barnes bravely fought and stood by Captain America against the Nazis during World War II. Unfortunately, he suffered a terrible plane accident and was thought lost over the raging seas. Miraculously, his cold-preserved but badly battered body was then found by the Russians who saved him from certain doom. Unfortunately though, the hero was also brainwashed. He then was given cyborg appendages and became an elite assassin for the Soviets. Sounds like an intriguing Manchurian Candidate-esque concept ripe for a 3D viewing to us.

Machine Man

Machine Man

This obscure character started off his existence as a robot but was eventually granted the gift of sentience. An unlikely hero, he often wonders what it would be like to be human. He initially had a hokey, mechanized look but eventually made himself look more like a real person. Machine Man has a variety of weapons and has telescopic arms and legs which he uses for a variety of attacks. He also has superhuman strength as well as enhanced stamina and speed. Neo Terminator, anyone?

Zombie Spider-Man

Zombie Spider-Man attacking a fellow ghoul

The Marvel Zombie Universe is an alternate Marvel reality where most of the world’s super-powered individuals and regular folk have been devoured or turned into flesh-eating zombies. Unfortunately for us, the great Spider-Man has been zombified and teams up with most of the former heroes who have also been turned into to a rampaging horde of ravenous creatures. With their powers and abilities still intact, thi unstoppable army of the undead have the upper hand and systematically pick off the planet’s remaining survivors. The Marvel Zombie Universe effectively combines super-heroics with the time-tested zombie genre for some slam-bang action and intense terror. While the Spider-Man movies were great, a Zombie Spider-Man would indubitably be even better.

Anyway, this clip is from Michael Barnett’s Sundance documentary Superheroes. It’s in an exploration into the culture of real-life vigilantes and real-life people who want to make a difference by dressing up as Slipknot. I can understand wanting to move out of Detroit, but if your real goal is to fight crime it seems like that’s the place to be. Sure, your bike might get stolen in Brooklyn, but they’ll steal the eyeballs right out of your head in Detroit. And that’s just the police I’m talking about.

“Umm, I just wanted to fight crime so I came to Brooklyn because I, umm, figured, like, there would be some there.” Quick question, did this guy name himself ‘Lucid’ ironically? Because we already have enough ironic people in Brooklyn thanks much. (MTV)