Screen Junkies » super bowl http://www.screenjunkies.com Movie Reviews & TV Show Reviews Tue, 02 Dec 2014 04:50:24 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Sorry, Gwar: Katy Perry To Perform At Super Bowl Halftime Show http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/sorry-gwar-katy-perry-to-perform-at-super-bowl-halftime-show/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/sorry-gwar-katy-perry-to-perform-at-super-bowl-halftime-show/#comments Fri, 10 Oct 2014 17:04:43 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=266024 I'm going to make fun of the selection AND enjoy her performance.

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Katy Perry will be performing at this year’s Super Bowl halftime show, which is such an obvious choice that it almost feels like we’ve known about this news since we were little children. There’s almost nothing noteworthy about this announcement, other than the mini-scandal that surrounded the event about a month ago, in which it was learned the producers of the show were seeking payment in exchange for giving an act this gig.

The shortlist of acts was Rihanna (a macabrely funny choice given the state of the NFL these days) and Coldplay (*belch*), though it’s uncertain if they were chosen for any reason other than they are big enough acts to afford paying the producers.

Katy Perry was at ESPN‘s College GameDay last week at Ole Miss, and said that she was “not the kind of girl” that would pay to play the Super Bowl halftime show. Perhaps not. By maybe her label is that “the type of label” that would.

Enough talk. Let’s get fired up for the sparkler tits, chicken wings, and football.

*majestic purple mountains rise from behind amber waves of grain*

(A.V. Club)

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NFL Asks Halftime Show Musical Acts To Pay For The Right To Appear http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/nfl-asks-halftime-show-musical-acts-to-pay-for-the-right-to-appear/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/nfl-asks-halftime-show-musical-acts-to-pay-for-the-right-to-appear/#comments Wed, 20 Aug 2014 15:27:47 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=264323 Basically, by making them partners on their subsequent tours.

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While more cynical fans (like many reading this site, perhaps) see the Super Bowl Halftime Show as a lowest-common-denominator cash grab for the NFL, there’s something to be said for the focus it puts on the acts. Last year, the Super Bowl Halftime Show earned higher ratings than the actual game. Now, that may have been because the game was a blowout, but whatever. Lots of people watch the show and familiarize themselves with pop acts.

So it should comes as little surprise that when the league reached out to Coldplay, Katy Perry, and Rihanna as it’s top three choices, it “suggested” that they thank the NFL by kicking back to it a portion of subsequent tour profits. Is this stupid and bold? Yes. Does it make sense? Yes, but it’s stupid and bold.

The NFL historically covers the costs of an artist’s appearance, but now sees the platform if gives artists as a way to make money. It’s a valuable platform, but I really don’t think those three artists need help getting people to attend their shows. The Wall Street Journal has said the artists weren’t too fired up about sharing their tour proceeds, so let’s just accept the fact that this is finally the year the NFL embraces electronic music, tos Avicii and David Guetta up there, then call it a day.

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BREAKING: Lots Of People Watched The Super Bowl http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/breaking-lots-of-people-watched-the-super-bowl/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/breaking-lots-of-people-watched-the-super-bowl/#comments Tue, 04 Feb 2014 17:43:57 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=259078 HOW MANY? Keep reading, and be more patient in the future. We'll tell you.

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How many people watched the “big game” as we’re supposed to call it to protect the NFL’s precious, precious intellectual property? More than any other Super Bowl ever. 111.5 million people were slowly bored to tears by Peyton Manning‘s ability to get a first down.

Is this amazing news? Not really. The Super Bowl viewership record has been broken four times in five years, in part due to the increasing popularity of the game, but also due to longer life expectancies that result in an increased population. I credit that raging success that is Obamacare for that last one.

2.3 million watched the game online, which makes me wonder why Fox didn’t put its other playoff games online, instead making me go to Jerry’s house to watch the damn thing. Jerry’s house smells like cats.

 

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HBO Correctly Assumes ‘Girls’ Audience Will Watch The Super Bowl Instead http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/shows/hbo-correctly-assumes-girls-audience-will-watch-the-super-bowl-instead/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/shows/hbo-correctly-assumes-girls-audience-will-watch-the-super-bowl-instead/#comments Tue, 21 Jan 2014 23:20:37 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=258862 I can see the future.

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There are some, but not many, people who enjoy both football and Lena Dunham‘s neuroses. Some may like football more, but that number dwindles when the playoffs arrives, and it goes down to almost nothing by the time the Super Bowl gets here.

So HBO has fallen back, pulling both Girls and Looking from Sunday night’s slots. Do people watch looking? I bet there are even fewer people that watch both Looking and football than watch Girls and football.

The good news? Both shows will be available a day earlier, airing at their Sunday night times ON SATURDAY. Crazy, right?

True Detectives won’t air at all because people who like football LOVE True Detectives (I presume), and they want ample cool down time after each event.

I have no idea what I’m talking about.

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Bruno Mars Announced For Super Bowl Halftime Show, Gwar Waits Until Next Year (Again) http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/bruno-mars-announced-for-super-bowl-halftime-show-gwar-waits-until-next-year-again/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/bruno-mars-announced-for-super-bowl-halftime-show-gwar-waits-until-next-year-again/#comments Mon, 09 Sep 2013 17:07:15 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=256860 How has there not been a Katy Perry halftime show yet? Seems odd...

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Since bleeding edge, off-the-grid acts like Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson can’t be trusted with the responsibility any more, the Super Bowl has gone way, way back to the likes of the Rolling Stones, Bruce Springsteen, Tom Petty, and Paul McCartney.

Realizing that most of the fans of those bands are now dead or in hospice care without access to televisions, the producers have gone with Bruno Mars, a diminutive little fella who sings about things like fedoras and having curly hair. He’s a pretty safe choice, though he might mention Twitter or Toyota Prii, alienating older viewers.

The Super Bowl this season will take place in East Rutherford, New Jersey, so it’s like that Mr. Mars will have to wear a fur coat to stay warm. But such is the price paid for art.

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Michael Bay To Preside Over Doritos Super Bowl Contest http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/michael-bay-to-preside-over-doritos-super-bowl-contest/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/michael-bay-to-preside-over-doritos-super-bowl-contest/#comments Fri, 21 Sep 2012 15:58:02 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=251076 The sanctity of 'Transformers 4' is being threatened with commercialism.

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I hope you’re sitting down. Michael Bay… has sold-out.

I know. I hate to be the one to bear this news as it will surely cut into cinephiles the world over. Somehow or another, the brass at Doritos have managed to coax the director of the Transformers franchise and producer of various horror retreads away from his artistic credibilities.

Bay has announced that he will have a hand in this year’s Doritos’ “Crash the Super Bowl” contest, even offering to take the winner under his wing. The contest winner will work for Bay on Transformers 4 in some kind of capacity.

I hope they like washing Ferraris. (THR)

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Good News: Madonna’s Violent Stalker Has Escaped http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/good-news-madonnas-violent-stalker-has-escaped/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/good-news-madonnas-violent-stalker-has-escaped/#comments Fri, 10 Feb 2012 17:46:27 +0000 Jame Gumb http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=245043 Chalk one up for the violently insane!

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Chalk one up for the violently insane!

Robert Dewey Hoskins, who served a 10-year prison sentence for stalking Madonna and who may or may not have been the inspiration for the youngest child on Malcolm in the Middle, has escaped from the Metropolitan State Hospital near Los Angeles. By escaped, I mean he just walked away. Bang-up job, Metropolitan State Hospital.

Authorities say Hoskins is “highly psychotic when not taking his medication and has very violent tendencies.” How “violent” and “psychotic” are we talking? Well, he once threatened to cut Madonna “from ear to ear” if she didn’t marry him. Yikes! You’d have to be crazy to want to marry Madonna!

Whatever wacky hijinx Hoskins has in store, he’d better get a move on. The Material Girl (god I hate calling her that) is set to embark on a world tour in the next few months, and I’d hate for him to miss out on the opportunity to get annihilated by her security team because she’s out of the country.

World Peace! (Source)

Maybe we can lure the stalker in with these Madonna photos.

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9 Movie Hangovers Worse Than The One You’re Feeling http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/9-movie-hangovers-worse-than-the-one-youre-feeling/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/9-movie-hangovers-worse-than-the-one-youre-feeling/#comments Mon, 06 Feb 2012 18:55:50 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=244621 We promise no loud noises.

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It’s the Monday after the Super Bowl. Everyone’s moving slowly, achy and hungover from the weekend’s debauchery. It hurts to think. It hurts to read. It hurts to type. However, as bad as it is, someone’s always got it worse. Like the dudes on this list. All you did was pound Natty Ice and have to make it to work. These guys got lit and then had to be around children or fight crime. We here at Screen Junkies are just thankful our mornings did not involve gunfire or children.

Dim your monitor and check out the nine worst movie hangovers.

Die Hard With A Vengeance

The most annoying thing about terror is that it never strikes when it’s convenient. Nobody knows this better than John McClane. In Die Hard With A Vengeance, he finds himself pulled into a dangerous game of cat and mouse with a terrorist looking to avenge his brother’s murder at the hands of McClane. Okay. First of all, his brother was a real dick. But you just can’t talk any sense into these terrorist guys, so he attacks McClane the morning after he went on an epic bender, forcing him to fight for his life in Harlem, stop a bomb from exploding on a train way downtown, and solve a number of annoying riddles. Have you ever tried to kill an elite team of international thugs singlehanded with a splitting headache? It’s not fun. He probably had to take an epic crap as well.

The Hangover

Imagine waking with a terrible headache to find a chicken in your hotel room. Add to that a tiger, a total mess, a missing tooth and missing best friend. The last thing you want to do after a night of debauchery is piece together the events of the previous evening. I prefer to eat something greasy and watch whatever’s on Syfy. Even if Richard Grieco is in it.

A League Of Their Own

When former Cubs slugger Jimmy Dugan is assigned to manage the all-female Rockford Peaches, he sees it as a huge step down from his former glory. And so, he treats it like a complete joke. Showing up to practice and games either completely hammered or woefully hungover. You do have to give props to the guy though. He knows how to make an introduction.

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The Donkey Sperm Network Is Sorry That M.I.A. Flipped You Off http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/the-donkey-sperm-network-is-sorry-that-m-i-a-flipped-you-off/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/the-donkey-sperm-network-is-sorry-that-m-i-a-flipped-you-off/#comments Mon, 06 Feb 2012 16:13:37 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=244608 She is SO not getting a sitcom now.

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Though they were successful in preventing Cee Lo from popping out one of his luscious titties during the Super Bowl Halftime Show, the NBC censors couldn’t prevent M.I.A.’s knuckle malfunction. As such, the network has apologized for the singer’s flipping off home audiences during her cameo in Madonna‘s performance. It’s unclear whether she was flipping off the censors for bleeping out the curses from her verse, or the wardrobe department for dressing her like King Tut.

NBC has stated that her actions were “completely inappropriate and very disappointing.” Which is the same way I feel about Madonna’s performance.

WORLD PEACE, you guys. (Billboard)

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Tim & Eric Thoughtfully Made Some Super Bowl Commercials For NBC http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/tim-eric-thoughtfully-made-some-super-bowl-commercials-for-nbc/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/tim-eric-thoughtfully-made-some-super-bowl-commercials-for-nbc/#comments Fri, 03 Feb 2012 18:26:19 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=video&p=244494 They're a little more "out there" than NBC's regular NFL spots.

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It may have been a little misguided to air them on Jimmy Kimmel Live! (on ABC), but their hearts were in the right place.

The duo, with a little bit of time on their hands before Billion Dollar Movie hits theaters, have followed up their very generous pro-bono Herman Cain campaign ads with ads for this Sunday’s Super Bowl on NBC. It’s important that awareness about the Super Bowl spreads, otherwise it will never catch on.

They showed up on the Kimmel show dressed in tuxedos, top hats, gloves, and canes because they’re football fans, through and through. It’s one thing to see their hijinks on Adult Swim or to a paying audience, it’s another to see how poorly it goes over with a mass audience.

Apparently, America (or at least Jimmy Kimmel viewers) don’t get so excited by Tim and Eric “touching tips.” Penis tips, in case that wasn’t clear.

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9 Movies Tim Tebow Will Be Watching During The Super Bowl http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/9-movies-tim-tebow-will-be-watching-during-the-super-bowl/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/9-movies-tim-tebow-will-be-watching-during-the-super-bowl/#comments Fri, 03 Feb 2012 17:01:58 +0000 Nicholas Pell http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=244448 Poor widdle Timmy Tebow and his Broncos didn’t make it to the Super Bowl. Tim and company choked hard, hopefully presaging the Broncos future as the new Buffalo Bills. Don’t...

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Poor widdle Timmy Tebow and his Broncos didn’t make it to the Super Bowl. Tim and company choked hard, hopefully presaging the Broncos future as the new Buffalo Bills.

Don’t mind — I’m just a bitter Raiders fan.

Anyway, since Timmy will be sitting at home watching the tube with mommy on Super Bowl Sunday, I’m guessing he won’t be watching the big game. It would only serve the purpose of reminding him that he’s a boy in a game of men. Here’s some stuff Timmy might be watching on game day while men battle it out on the gridiron.

Left Behind

Obligatory. While Tom Brady and Eli Manning are battling it out, pass for pass, Timmy can comfort himself with this Kirk Cameron classic. Because even though one of them will be getting a ring (and probably an MVP), none of that will matter on the day that Jesus comes back and throws them both into the fiery pits of hell. We’ll see if their Super Bowl rings will save them then.

Veggie Tales

Or maybe Timmy will be feeling a little more childish. Mommy will pop some corn and get him his bankie and he’ll cuddle up with his Veggie Tales tapes. Sometime around 9:30 at night Timmy will get all Tuckered out and pops will have to carry little Timmy up to bed. Then he’ll suckle his thumb in his footy pajamas and dream of a world where he won’t be an irrelevant joke in five years.

Knute Rockne: All American

I know literally nothing about this movie except that it’s about some football player from the 17th Century and it stars a young Ronald Reagan. Right? Shit, I seriously have no idea and I can’t be bothered to look it up on Wikipedia. Point is, Tebow likes Ronald Reagan and football, so he’ll probably be pretty into watching this. Can someone have the intern write a new paragraph where this one is? Thanks.

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Screw It, We’re Grading 27 Super Bowl XLVI Ads Early http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-lists/screw-it-were-grading-27-super-bowl-xlvi-ads-right-now/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-lists/screw-it-were-grading-27-super-bowl-xlvi-ads-right-now/#comments Fri, 03 Feb 2012 15:07:26 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=244405 If you hate sports, you can just read/watch this article and save yourself five hours.

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These days, it seems pretty unnecessary to wait until after the Super Bowl to grade the ads. They’re released days ahead of time online, so that rubes like me may craft entire articles that incidentally help these companies peddle their wares.

That said, I like being first, so I’m going to grade the Super Bowl ads now. Sure, we’ve only got 27 ads so far, but my guess is that every decent ad has been leaked, so if you haven’t put your ad online by now, tough shit, anonymous company. You should know better in the Internet age.

These ads are graded based on my own hunch, gut, and whatever erratic mood swing I happen to be enduring or enjoying at the time I view it.

Note: We culled the movie trailers from this list because they largely weren’t Super Bowl-specific. 

Another Note: Thanks to EW Popwatch for assembling most of this big list of videos. 

E*Trade – The E*Trade Baby

The E*Trade baby is back at it, this time inexplicably as some dude’s best man. He’s bringing the sass, as he so often does, and though the schtick still isn’t fresh, it’s still a cute enough commercial, and at thirty seconds, it doesn’t run long enough to get old.

Grade: B

CareerBuilder.com – A Bunch of Monkeys

It wouldn’t be a Super Bowl if there weren’t thinly-premised ads sporting tons of animals doing human things. This year, Career Builder seems to have bitten that particular bullet, offering up a dude on a business trip with monkeys! Honest-to-goodness, no-foolin’ monkeys!

It’s not very funny. Except for the part where they plant a dildo in his bag in the TSA line. That’s pretty damn funny.

Grade: C-

Hulu.com – Will Arnett

Hulu has always been able to get some decent stars for their ads, and whie Will Arnett may not be the biggest name in Hollywood, he’s among the funniest. And the fact that he’s spitting off TV catchphrases to try to open a door just does it for me. Honestly, though. I could watch Will Arnett quietly drink a smoothie at a bus stop and think it’s a great commercial.

Grade: B-

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Take Off Your Thinking Cap; Here’s The ‘G.I. Joe’ Super Bowl Teaser http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/take-off-your-thinking-cap-heres-the-g-i-joe-super-bowl-teaser/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/take-off-your-thinking-cap-heres-the-g-i-joe-super-bowl-teaser/#comments Wed, 01 Feb 2012 21:43:55 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=video&p=244298 Just imagine: The movie is ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY times as long as this trailer.

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Remarkably, I can save you some time by summing up this G.I. Joe: Retaliation teaser for you beyond what the trailer does. A Cliff’s Notes of the Cliff’s Notes if you will. In strict chronological order, the following occurs:

  • The Rock attributes a quote to Jay-Z.
  • Jay-Z raps (offscreen) the song that The Rock was quoting.
  • (Thousands of quick cuts of people stabbing, dancing, shooting, flying)
  • Bruce Willis appears.
  • Bruce Willis says, “Call me Joe.”

That’s it. That’s your trailer. If that sounds like something you’ll be interested in, the film hits theaters on June 29th.

Because there is absolutely nothing else to say about this trailer, I will spend the rest of this article listing G.I. Joe characters I remember from childhood, without the aid of any sources.

  • Duke
  • Cobra Commander
  • Skid Mark
  • Sgt. Slaughter
  • Trixie
  • Willem
  • Gandolf
  • Mildred
  • Copernicus
  • Shockwave
  • Bumblebee

I’ll be honest. I blanked after Sgt. Slaughter.

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7 Movie Villains Who Are Less Sinister Than Bill Belichick http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/7-movie-villains-who-are-less-sinister-than-bill-belichick/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/7-movie-villains-who-are-less-sinister-than-bill-belichick/#comments Wed, 01 Feb 2012 17:33:01 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=243676 Man, this guy is the worst.

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It’s a special time of year for non-Boston fans of AFC teams, a time where we curse the Patriots for their success and bitch about what an evil person the Pat’s head coach, Bill Belichick, is in light of his team appearing in the Super Bowl. Needless to say, it’s one of my favorite times of year.

Of course, Belichick isn’t REALLY evil; he’s just led his team to great success with a joyless demeanor while breaking the rules of the NFL that were established for fair play.

Huh. He sounds pretty evil when it’s framed like that, doesn’t he?

Well, evil, like human sexuality or wealth, is a continuum. It’s not a binary state, so we can go further to examine degrees of evil. Since this is a movie site, it makes sense to list a few “evil” characters that are outshone by Mr. Patriot’s sinister nature. The following seven characters are actually less sinister than Bill Belichick.

In case you were wondering what movie character is exactly as evil and underhanded as Belichick, it’s Col. Hans Landa from Inglourious Basterds (A.K.A. The Jew Hunter).

Dick Jones – Robocop

It’s one thing to be an evil or malicious thug – over time you will more than likely get picked up and punished for your actions. It’s another to be some powerful, political mastermind that is above any and all scrutiny. It’s for this reason that Belichick is more sinister than not only Clarence Boddicker from Robocop, but also OCP alpha dog Dick Jones.

Dick Jones is on a mission to ensure that the test case of Detroit proves successful so that Omni Consumer Products can start shilling not only ED-209s, but also Robocops to other markets.

Now, I don’t think that Bill Belichick is looking to franchise a series of books entitled How to Win…The Belichick Way! or anything like that, but I do think that he is leveraging an ungodly amount of power to run his team like some sort of semi-legal corporation. Now, I have absolutely no proof that this is the case, but if you put a gun to my head and asked me what corporations are/were run similarly to Belichick’s Patriots, I would say offhand: Enron, Morgan Stanley, AIG, and Blackwater.

Cal Hockley– Titanic

Sure, Cal made women and children die in the aftermath of the Titanic’s collision with the iceberg, but dammit, he looked good doing it. And while Titanic’s plot says nothing to support this, I’m assuming that Cal was a creep since he was a young, entitled little boy, which doesn’t make his misdeeds any more palatable. But at least people would have known what they’re in for.

Belichick, on the other hand, came up as a fairly unassuming coach, only to become an evil mastermind once he was handed the keys to the castle. Further, I’m not willing to entertain arguments that his cut-off hoodie look isn’t a victimless crime. My eyes bleed every time I see this powerful, powerful man masquerading as a hobo.

In summation:

Slicked back hair + tuxedo + Billy Zane is playing him = Guy you know you should avoid.

Tattered hoodie + former Cleveland Browns employee + name “Bill” = Guy you would probably give a few dollars to on your walk to work who, in return, will secretly videotape your defensive coordinators playcalling signals.

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10 Awesome Acting Performances By Former Football Players http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/10-awesome-acting-performances-by-former-football-players/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/10-awesome-acting-performances-by-former-football-players/#comments Tue, 31 Jan 2012 17:00:49 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=243679 "Laces out," and so on...

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With the Super Bowl just a few days away, and the Pro Bowl behind us, we prepare for a teary goodbye to our NFL heroes. We’ll catch up with them, perhaps, in July at training camp. However, all is not lost. Should we get the itch to reach out, we can always enjoy our favorite former football stars in movie-actor form.

Are they the best actors in the world?

Yup! Without question, the following nine performances are, at the risk of oversimplifying… art. And it’s amazing that these artists can be so great on the gridiron, and also so impressive in front of a camera.

Yeah, we got Brain Bosworth on here.

Dan Marino – Ace Ventura

In this 1994 film, Jim Carrey wasn’t the only breakout star. Dan Marino went from non-Super Bowl-winning Isotoner glove pitchman to non-Super Bowl-winning cameo-maker. It was a huge leap in his career, considering he retired without a Super Bowl victory to hang his hat on.

In the film, Dan Marino is memorable not just for his luscious curly hair, but his ability to point out Ray Finkle’s tucked dick, and holding his own against fellow thespian Tone Loc. No, not holding his penis against Tone. We meant holding his own in the acting department. Never mind.

After this extended cameo, I believe that Dan Marino should still rot in hell, but should probably die of something less painful than gonorrhea.

Cookie?

Brett Favre – There’s Something About Mary

It’s a shame that this film came out over a decade before Brett Favre got caught taking pictures of his weenus whilst wearing Crocs, because if anyone could have had some fun with that, it would be the Farrelly brothers.

In the film, “Brett” is alluded to as Mary’s old boyfriend, but only in the last few minutes of the film do we realize that her ex is Packers QB Brett Favre. Brett makes an absolute meal out of the role, and he does it wearing jean, possibly Wrangler-brand, which leads me to believe that he didn’t just develop his great fashion sense late in his career.

Here, we see a DVD karaoke extra in which he gets tackled by Warren, which probably shaved a few years off of Favruh’s career.

Alex Karras – Webster

Alex Karras was a Detroit Lion from 1958-62 and again from 1964-1970. He missed the 1963 season for “gambling activities,” which is almost as awesome as the fact that he played Emmanuel Lewis’ adoptive father, George Papadapolis, which is a very, very fun name to say. Try it.

Now, please.

George POP-O-DOP-O-LIS.

There are probably a few clips more demonstrative than this opening titles sequence I chose to embed, but the shitty production value makes this one a delightful no-brainer. Besides, if you want to see what kind of actor Alex Karras is, just pause at the :17 mark, where we see him just OWNING the role of “important business man checking his watch because time is money.”

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7 Least Believable Moments In Football Films http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/7-least-believable-moments-in-football-films/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/7-least-believable-moments-in-football-films/#comments Mon, 30 Jan 2012 17:00:24 +0000 Jame Gumb http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=243674 Yeah, right.

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Chances are that you’ve seen a football game in your life that could only be described as unbelievable. We usually reserve this classification for feats of amazing sportsmanship, but in the case of Hollywood movies, sometimes “unbelievable” just means incredibly stupid. In the long history of

This gritty look at the inside world of college football did very little to associate itself with realism or the rules of the game. This is blatantly on display when hotshot quarterback Joe Kane is able to score a game-winning touchdown despite the fact that he throws an incomplete pass.

The Dark Knight Rises – Field Crumbles

The film isn’t in theaters yet but from what we saw in the trailer, we have some pretty ridiculous events ahead of us. The scene in question concerns a professional football game literally crashed by Bane. The villian rigs the field for demolition and blows it up during game play. However, instead of multiple explosions sending dirt and athlete everywhere, the field actually caves in with the players falling to their doom. That’s one way to fix a game, but pretty unbelievable.

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19 Ways Madonna Can ‘Bring Gay’ To The Super Bowl http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/19-ways-madonna-can-bring-gay-to-the-super-bowl/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/19-ways-madonna-can-bring-gay-to-the-super-bowl/#comments Fri, 27 Jan 2012 18:08:18 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=243695 This article contains phrases like "bear," "pig bottom," "riding crop," and "Tim Tebow."

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The completely infallible New York Daily News gossip section claims to have overheard from one of Madonna’s dancers that she is planning on “bringing gay to the Super Bowl.” Considering there hasn’t really been an exciting Super Bowl halftime show since Sir Paul McCartney beat his ex-wife Heather Mills with her own prosthetic leg (may have just been a dream I had), I am completely on board with Madonna doing anything she can think of to break up the monotony of familiar medleys and fireworks.

The question is, how does one “gay up” the Super Bowl? You can’t very well have men or women penetrating each other on stage, so you need to take a less obvious path to gayness. Fortunately, I’ve been tasked with suggesting a few very subtle ways to homosexualize the Super Bowl. Pay close attention to subtext and symbolism here, because, like I said, these are very subtle.

19. Start off her Super Bowl set with, “If your erection lasts longer than four hours…GET UP AND DANCE!”


18. Force Clay Aiken to kick all the extra points

17. Madonna and the NFL Present: A Salute to Drunken, Three-Hour Brunches


16. Sodomize Criss Angel: Mindfreak with a searing-hot Lombardi Trophy that has been resting over burning coals


15. Don a #8 jersey, with the last name “Proposition” stitched on it, then have Justin Tuck tackle her midway through her performance, making a powerful statement about gay marriage


14. Get Carson Kressley to dress Bill Belichick and Tom Coughlin in the same outfit, then at halftime, have the fans in attendance decide “Who Wore It Best?”


13. Assemble 11 shirtless male dancers into an offensive formation known simply as “pig bottom”


12. Pay tribute to the unsung, non-Chicago bears that keep magazines like American Grizzly afloat

11. Do a cover of “It’s Raining Men” while every player in the NFL over the past 20 years parachutes out of a C-130 cargo plane into the stadium (Note: This is only effective if the top of the stadium is open)


10. Do her usual set, just from the inside of a Mini Cooper


9. I dunno…do something with like, a gay Jesus or something?


8. Perform a bunch of Coldplay songs


7. Flash her wrinkly old vagina to the camera, turning an entire nation gay. Except for the women. They’d be straighter than ever.


6. Perform a duet with Cher, then fingerbang the hell out of her


5. Convert the t-shirt cannons to tank top cannons

4. Midway through her set, instruct the audience to reach under their seats, where they will find a small dog in a sweater. Everyone receives a small dog in a sweater whether they want one or not


3. Have Tim Tebow come out of the closet during the halftime show in an event that NBC teases as “the one Super Bowl halftime show TOO SHOCKING to miss!”


2. Talk about the BCS and how “gay” it is that college football doesn’t have a playoff system. Prepare for strong reactions from both BCS supporters and that NoH8 organization


1. Declare, in the event of a tie at the end of regulations, that the winner will be decided based on penetrations. Offer no other explanation and see what happens

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7 Insulting NFL Pop-Music Crossovers http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-lists/7-insulting-nfl-pop-music-crossovers/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-lists/7-insulting-nfl-pop-music-crossovers/#comments Thu, 08 Sep 2011 15:36:44 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=227442 They should all be Theismanned.

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The NFL is not a place for the weak. In order to win, you need to push your body and mind to their limits, and even that isn’t enough all of the time. It’s an aggressive, punishing sport. So why does it constantly get paired with the cheesiest, fluffiest music? For years, half-time shows and TV theme songs have been performed by odd choices that have nothing to do with the sport. So, why has pop continually gone hand in hand with the big game? It doesn’t keep the momentum going and it’s not pleasing to anyone with ears. Does the NFL really think a shitty musical act is going to make non-fans interested? Is it intended to get our kids dancing? We’re not trying to raise cheerleaders.

Here’s a collection of the worst musical performances that we’ve had to suffer through to enjoy smashmouth football. And, no, Smashmouth did not make the list. Though they so could have.

P!nk – Sunday Night Football Theme



Y!kes!! Th!s st!nks! !’m afra!d P!nk m!ght not be taken ser!ously as an art!st after do!ng th!s. Even Hank W!ll!ams, Jr !s less hokey than th!s and he’s l!ke a poor man’s Randy “Macho Man” Savage.

Elvis Presto – Super Bowl XXIII



Of course, we were all shocked when Janet Jackson’s breast was exposed during the Super Bowl XXXVIII Half-Time Show, but at least that was a show. Take a look at what passed as a Half-Time Show at Super Bowl XXIII. A magic Elvis doing an elaborate, non-nonsensical card trick while dancers end their careers behind him. No wonder the Bud Bowl was so popular. This wouldn’t even be cool on a cruise ship. I really hope the FCC fined somebody over this.

Kat DeLuna – National Anthem



If Kat DeLuna thought these Dallas Cowboys fans were harsh when she butchered the National Anthem, she’d better be happy she didn’t mess with the Anthem of Texas. I’m told they hate that.

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Super Bowl Blooper Girls Fergie and Aguilera Stick Together http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/super-bowl-blooper-girls-fergie-and-aguilera-stick-together/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/super-bowl-blooper-girls-fergie-and-aguilera-stick-together/#comments Tue, 08 Feb 2011 06:01:18 +0000 Geoffrey Golden http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=25475 Fergie defending Christina Aguilera is like Gallagher defending Carrot Top.

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Sunday was the Super Bowl, but no one was bowled away by any super musical performances. Get it? Unfortunately, I do not.

Anyway, we didn’t get any nip slips this year, but we did get a National Anthem slip, which isn’t nearly as sexy or interesting. Still, Christina Aguilera mangled the National Anthem somewhat, and I’m sure “what a girl wants” is not to be Twitter-insulted by everyone from John Cena to “Weird” Al Yankovic. That’s why Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas is coming to her aid. You know Fergie, right? The “pitchy,” hump-loving singer whose rendition of “Sweet Child o’ Mine” with Slash on Sunday was astoundingly sub-karaoke? Well, here’s what she has to say:

“It’s such a huge venue, your nerves take a hold of you,” Fergie said during sportscaster Dan Patrick’s radio show. “I completely understand. She’s one of the best singers of our time. Nobody can take that away from you. … But you get nervous at these things. We’re human.”

That’s fair. I get nervous when I have to get up to pee during a stand-up show, cause all the other stand-ups make fun of you. However, if you’re getting paid big bucks to sing the National Anthem at the Super Bowl, and you’ve been a platinum selling recording artist for 1999, you could at least write some cheat notes on your hand. And if you’re a Fergie, you should stop speaking / singing for awhile, or at least speak about things we care about, like obvious metaphors for boobs. (MTV)

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