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Sorry, Gwar: Katy Perry To Perform At Super Bowl Halftime Show
Friday, October 10 by

I’m going to make fun of the selection AND enjoy her performance.

Coldplay? Get me a Guns n' Roses show where they show up an hour late to halftime.
NFL Asks Halftime Show Musical Acts To Pay For The Right To Appear
Wednesday, August 20 by

Basically, by making them partners on their subsequent tours.

Omaha?
BREAKING: Lots Of People Watched The Super Bowl
Tuesday, February 4 by

HOW MANY? Keep reading, and be more patient in the future. We’ll tell you.

I want the lens that makes pictures look like dreams.
HBO Correctly Assumes ‘Girls’ Audience Will Watch The Super Bowl Instead
Tuesday, January 21 by

I can see the future.

Seems like a nice enough young man.
Bruno Mars Announced For Super Bowl Halftime Show, Gwar Waits Until Next Year (Again)
Monday, September 9 by

How has there not been a Katy Perry halftime show yet? Seems odd…

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Michael Bay To Preside Over Doritos Super Bowl Contest
Friday, September 21 by

The sanctity of ‘Transformers 4′ is being threatened with commercialism.

The enemy of my enemy is my pyschoitic friend!
Good News: Madonna’s Violent Stalker Has Escaped
Friday, February 10 by

Chalk one up for the violently insane!

...aspirin....
9 Movie Hangovers Worse Than The One You’re Feeling
Monday, February 6 by

We promise no loud noises.

How rude!
The Donkey Sperm Network Is Sorry That M.I.A. Flipped You Off
Monday, February 6 by

She is SO not getting a sitcom now.

They are ready for some football.
Tim & Eric Thoughtfully Made Some Super Bowl Commercials For NBC
Friday, February 3 by

They’re a little more “out there” than NBC’s regular NFL spots.

One minute until 'Left Behind' comes on!
9 Movies Tim Tebow Will Be Watching During The Super Bowl
Friday, February 3 by

Poor widdle Timmy Tebow and his Broncos didn’t make it to the Super Bowl. Tim and company choked hard, hopefully presaging the Broncos future as the new Buffalo Bills. Don’t…

Hope you like commercials.
Screw It, We’re Grading 27 Super Bowl XLVI Ads Early
Friday, February 3 by

If you hate sports, you can just read/watch this article and save yourself five hours.

A REAL American hero would ride a Harley.
Take Off Your Thinking Cap; Here’s The ‘G.I. Joe’ Super Bowl Teaser
Wednesday, February 1 by

Just imagine: The movie is ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY times as long as this trailer.

This is how he summons evil.
7 Movie Villains Who Are Less Sinister Than Bill Belichick
Wednesday, February 1 by

Man, this guy is the worst.

Must not be a Dolphin fan.
10 Awesome Acting Performances By Former Football Players
Tuesday, January 31 by

“Laces out,” and so on…

Unbelievable.
7 Least Believable Moments In Football Films
Monday, January 30 by

Yeah, right.

Other than just by doing this, of course.
19 Ways Madonna Can ‘Bring Gay’ To The Super Bowl
Friday, January 27 by

This article contains phrases like “bear,” “pig bottom,” “riding crop,” and “Tim Tebow.”

Well, it certainly puts me in a tackling mood.
7 Insulting NFL Pop-Music Crossovers
Thursday, September 8 by

They should all be Theismanned.

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Super Bowl Blooper Girls Fergie and Aguilera Stick Together
Monday, February 7 by

Fergie defending Christina Aguilera is like Gallagher defending Carrot Top.