‘Final Destination 5′ Now ‘5nal Destination’. Derp.
Wednesday, June 30 by

Someone in Studioland got a raise today. Their suggestion to change the title of Final Destination 5 to 5nal Destination almost certainly earned them a corner office with a view of the commissary. You may be asking yourself, "What does 5nal Destination mean anyway?" It doesn't matter, you. It'll look good on a poster, and high schoolers can change it to say Anal Destination.When you go to look for the film at the video store though, assuming video stores still exist when it gets released on DVD, don't search for it in the "F's" because you won't find it there. Look for it next to the cookie dough bites. It should be reasonably discounted almost immediately. (/Film) 

‘Final Destination 5′ To Be (Directed By Cameron’s) Number Two
Wednesday, June 9 by

"Derp! Why did I drive into this log?"Still no word on what totally retarded plot contrivances will make their way into Final Destination 5, but today we have news that a director has been hired. Avatar's 2nd HMFIC, Steven Quale, will be in charge of impaling sexy teens for the fifth go-round. Really though, who builds a javelin manufactory next to batting cages? That's an accident waiting to happen.Quale has a lot of experience with 3D, having co-directed the underwater documentary Aliens of the Abyss with James Cameron as well as serving as 2nd Unit Director on Avatar, so perhaps this movie won't be a complete wash-out. No details from Eric Heisserer's script have been released, so we don't know what narrowly-avoided cataclysmic event will serve as a catalyst for the plot. The fourth entry was based around a NASCAR race gone horribly awry, and seeing how these movies get progressively dumber, I'm going to say this one opens with an Insane Clown Posse concert fire. R.I.P. Juggalos. C U in Shangri-La. (THR)

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