But that’s not all that’s coming to Bon Temps. We also see what we’ve all come to love about the show. Vampires trying to repair their image in the post-Russell Edgerton world, blood-covered sex, non-blood-covered sex, panther sex, shape-shifter sex, and strippers. Just like all the best Snoop Dogg videos. I never thought I’d say it, but I can’t hardly wait to watch all of this blood-covered sex with panthers. **screams “Hurry up!!” at Kittens Wearing Glasses wall calendar**

If you’re into blind vampires, Catholicism, and Paul Bettany’s abs, you’re really going to like this new trailer for Priest. If you could live without most of those things, you clearly haven’t looked hard enough at Paul Bettany‘s abs. A man of the cloth with a six pack like that. It’s almost not fair, am I right, ladies?

The film stars Paul Bettany’s abs, Karl Urban, Lily Collins, Maggie Q, Christopher Plummer, Cam Gigandet, and Stephen Moyer. The story revolves around a legendary Warrior Priest (Bettany’s abs) who lives in obscurity among other downtrodden human inhabitants in walled-in dystopian cities ruled by the Church. When his niece (Collins) is abducted by a murderous pack of vampires, Priest breaks his sacred vows to venture out on a quest to find her before they turn her into one of them. Maggie Q and Cam Gigandet also help kick some blind vampire ass. Seems unfair going up against handicapped vampires, but if they’re anything like my neighbor, they don’t let you steal their valuables without leaving some teeth marks first.

I can’t embed or download the trailer, so check it out at Crackle here.

A new full-length trailer for "True Blood" has glamoured the Internet, and I’m sharing it with you so you can forward it along to your girlfriends. They’re going to love this season considering the vampire-centric show is now dabbling in the world of werewolves, officially making it one pained expression away from becoming full-blown Twilight for television.

But don’t you dare move off that couch. You sit their with your baby cakes and subject yourself to every single minute of it. At least it’s HBO, so breasts and people erupting into flames are guaranteed. Buncha filthy pyros over at that network…

Sink your eyes into the trailer after the jump. Tell your g.f. season 3 of "True Blood" premieres June 13th, if she doesn’t already have a sticker on her bejeweled day planner for it.

(Collider)