• Steel Magnolias
• All-Black Casts
• Lifetime: Television for Women

That’s right, Lifetime is (finally) remaking Steel Magnolias with an all-black cast. No doubt inspired by the box office take garnered by the Southern and female race-relations study The Help, Lifetime execs gathered around their pink, uterine conference table, soundtracked by Chaka Khan and decreed, “The sisterhood yearns for an adaptation for the ebony godesses” or something like that.

For those unfamiliar, Steel Magnolias was a 1989 ensemble drama-comedy that examined that the bond shared between Southern women. It starred Dolly Parton, a shoulder-padded Julia Roberts, Olympia Dukakis, and Shirley “Hellcat” MacLaine.

Though the film will not be released theatrically, Lifetime has conveyed that they want an A-list cast. In much the same way that I keep conveying that I would like be seated at the Vanity Fair Oscar party with Emma Stone on my lap.

With this news, the entire nation is forced to think long and hard, then answer the question, “Who is the black Olympia Dukakis?”

That’s right. Taye Diggs.