chupacobra
Frank Stallone Stars In ‘CHUPACOBRA’
Friday, October 25 by

They picked the wrong Stallone to mess with.

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Stallone Eyes Walter Hill As His Rebound Director For ‘Headshot’
Wednesday, April 6 by

Sly could have waited a few days at least out of consideration for Wayne Kramer’s feelings, but that’s just not who Sly is.

Stallone Stabs At Banter For A Change In New ‘Expendables’ Trailer
Wednesday, June 30 by

On paper The Expendables is terrible. In execution it is the most fun I've had in a movie theater for quite some time. This movie almost has it all; explosions, gratuitous violence, badasses, unnecessary motorcycle-riding montages, bad guys getting their heads kicked off, and awkward stabs at banter delivered by foreign tongues. And this new one minute cutdown of the trailer highlights all those elements. Especially the banter. Somebody in Internet add a laugh-track to this movie immediately. Somebody not me. CHECK OUT THE COMEDIC STYLINGS OF JET "SHECKY" LI AFTER THE JUMP…

“The Expendables” Trailer Got Jokes
Wednesday, October 14 by

Sylvester Stallone's throwback to gritty, non-CGI action, The Expendables, just premiered its trailer. In it you see ample amounts of gunfire, explosions, waterboarding, and dissing of the Chinese guy.

“G.I. JOE” MARKETS TO THE RED STATES
Tuesday, August 4 by

Paramount must realize the colossal turkey they have on their hands with G.I. Joe because now they're trying a new marketing approach… targeting dummies. A few weeks ago they directed their efforts on the Jersey Shore , now the LA Times is reporting that the advertising is focusing heavily on mid-America. The film is apparently embedded in the Kid Rock concert tour and advertising on giant screens in the Mall Of America. The message of this campaign being, it is your patriotic duty to see this movie. All right, fine. I love my country so I'll see this movie. Even though the post-traumatic stress will probably leave me a shell of my former self. Do your part and click on these morning links… Sacha Baron Cohen will create a new character. (The Sun)Sam Worthington replaces Tom Cruise in The Tourist. (The Playlist)Patricia Arquette spends a night with The Living Dead. (Dread Central)The Stallone Sequel Spree continues with Cliffhanger. (/Film) In defense of Funny People. (Cinema Blend)

‘THE ZOOKEEPER’ GETS VOICES
Tuesday, June 23 by

 According to Variety, Hollywood is making yet another family film with animals that's sure to rake in millions.  The Zookeeper, starring Kevin James and Rosario Dawson, centers on zoo animals trying to teach the keeper their method of dating and mating to help him win back the woman of his dreams.  Cher's voicing a giraffe, Jon Favreau a bear, Sly Stallone a lion, and Judd Apatow an elephant.  If the film sticks to a realistic portrayal a great deal of the advice is going to involve forceful sexual advances.  In the animal kingdom, "no" doesn't mean no.  When Mr. Lion is horny he takes what he wants.  But surely if Kevin James persists there's going to be a HILARIOUS moment where a woman knees him in the balls.