Ten episodes of the documentary/game show/idiot orgy have been ordered, and the stars of the show will run from zoologists to cryptozoologists to certified bigfoot hunters who, well, hunt bigfoot will flood into your living room whether you want them to or not.

I hope someone does prove bigfoot exists, if only so Spike TV has $10 million less to make asinine crap for mouthbreathing male audiences.

“Segments on the special include: scenes where Sheen wrecks a hotel room and loses a $150,000 watch; Sheen rents a mansion and fills it with porn stars who live as one big happy family; Sheen doing the drug “Charlie Sheen;” Sheen auditions his Two and a Half Men replacement.”

Wow. This special seems like a cash/attention grab for Spike, who are basically just acquiring and re-appropriating viral videos surrounding a popular gossip item and throwing them up as a special. However, “Web Soup,”"Tosh.0,” and “The Soup” do the same thing on a weekly basis and no one bats an eyelash, so why would this be any different? I guess it’s not, although it does seems like your dad finding your Radiohead bootlegs and secretly burning them to distribute around the office. It’s not cool if you know about it, dad! Only time will tell how embarrassing this will be for all parties involved. (EW)

“Repo Games” allows contestants to keep their about-to-be-repossessed cars if they can answer three out of five questions correctly. No word yet on whether one of the questions is, “Why are you so financially irresponsible?” It’s hard to imagine a show this sad becoming appointment television for anyone, but Spike TV has made a business model undermining the expectations of decent, intelligent Americans, so sleeper-hit status is not beyond the realm of possibility.

“Repo Games” is brought to us from the producers of “Jersey Shore,” so expect the telecast to be intermittently peppered with musings on the works of Virgil and keen observations on the evolution of gender dynamics in the face of social media. (EW)

The Deadliest Warrior

Newbie writers Patrick McKay and John D. Payne, the latter of whom has the perfect name for this assignment, will pen the script for Deadliest Warrior. The series is a reality-history-edutainment-lots-of-fighting show that simulates battles between history’s most renowned warriors, from samurais to KGB agents to super pissed off soccer moms, to see who would most likely win in a skirmish.

We don’t know what the story will be, but I’m guessing the central dramatic conflict is something like: “ninjas think swords are awesome, but aliens love rayguns, so they totally fight and it’s awesome.” I’ll go see that. (Deadline)

Then Busey shows up because nothing puts asses in office chairs more than these three words: GARY. BUSEY. RAPPING. This thinking will ultimately backfire. Spike knows guys only watch the show for the hot, naked women. So, be sure to check out the episodes nudity-free on Spike. Also, these girls aren’t helping their case. Awkward, white-rapping on television is far more embarrassing than showing your tits on television. (via Warming Glow)

Shawn Levy has just brought LARPing to a whole ‘nother level. Paramount has announced that the Night At The Museum director will bring an adaptation of Spike TV‘s "Deadliest Warrior" to the big screen. The format of the show pits fighters throughout history against one another in a hypothetical battle to the death. Experts then gather information to determine who would be the likely victor. The plotline for the film is being kept under wraps for the moment, so sadly we won’t learn what circumstances will bring an Apache and a Spetsnaz into the arena together at this time.

Our condolences to the directors who missed out on this project. Peter Berg must be beside himself. (Cinema Blend)

^{"Kali ma… Kali ma… Kali ma, shakthi deh!"}

Sandra Bullock‘s trophy case is growing decreasingly impressive. The Oscar-winner is slated to receive the MTV Generation Award at tonight’s Movie Awards, and picked up a "Troops Choice Entertainer Of the Year Award" at Spike TV Guy’s Choice Awards last night.

"Let’s be honest here, just for a moment. We’re all going to be honest, right?" Bullock quipped. "Did I win this for being entertainer of the year, or did I win this because of the spectacular I.E.D. explosion that became my personal life?" This drew a hearty laugh for Sgt. First Class Santiago. And then a low, nervous laugh as his fingers absent-mindedly stroked the plastic where his thigh used to be.

Ms. Bullock looked stunning in a tight black leather Elie Saab knee-length dress, Casadei heels and lack of forehead tattoos. (E! Online)

I don’t think Spike TV is even trying anymore, you guys. In an obvious ploy to lure Juggalo viewers, they’ve announced that they have picked up the six-episode series Bloodied Midgets Half Pint Brawlers. The series, billed as Jackass meets Little People, Big World, (or sh*t meets fart, by me) documents a traveling band of little people as they hop from ring to ring beating the crap out of themselves. This is a wonderful opportunity for advertisers. I don’t want to tell them how to run their business, but the makers of size XS Zoo York t-shirts had best strike while the iron’s hot. (THR)