Steven Seagal goes through more phases than Barbie. So far, we’ve seen Mafioso Seagal, Reggae Musician Seagal, Environmental Activist Seagal, Gangsta Seagal, Asian Seagal, Jimmy Buffet Seagal, and Southern Lawman Seagal. It looks like his Southern phase is going to extend just a bit longer, with the news that Seagal will topline the TV crime procedural "Southern Justice."

The inexplicable decision to have Seagal bring his Southern swagger (born in Michigan, raised in California) to the mean streets of Seattle may sound like groan-worthy television to you. To me, it sounds like the gilded voices of autotuned angels. Nobody sweats another culture like Seagal and the results are magnificient. I cannot wait for "CSI" Seagal. There’s nothing bad that can come of this. Unless you’re a female member of the crew. My advice is to pair up with a buddy on-set and never let them out of your sight. (Moviehole)