So many awesome taglines, yet I’m still not interested.

_{They’re in Miami, bitch.}

The east coast was cold, making it impossible to cop a sweet tan, so MTV crated up the cast of "Jersey Shore" and shipped them to Miami for Season 2 of the decline of totally juiced western civilization. As you can probably guess, there’s more drinking, scratching, narcissim, and unintelligible negative comments toward ego-threatening houseguests, all with a built in fish out of water hook. Cocaine sales in South Beach are about to skyrocket.

Check out the teaser after the jump…

_{Pauly D. looks as sober as a judge.}

BREAKING NEWS: Someone from the "Jersey Shore" cast is hitting the booger sugar. Radar is reporting that while filming the second season of the juiced, tanned, and greased show in Miami, one of the gang played in the snow. The identity of the culprit is being kept under wraps, but police are utilizing the tried and tested method of throwing rocks on South Beach and trying not to hit a cokehead. It’s a numbers game at this point.

“Miami is obviously a big drug city,” one source told RadarOnline.com, “and when this cast member want (sic) to score, it wasn’t hard.”

Narc! Narc!

“Finding someone to buy drugs from in South Beach is as easy as asking for it,” the source said. “It’s not hard and everyone is discreet.”

Another Narc!

“A connection was made and that’s all it took,” the source told RadarOnline.com. “A lot of things were done in code. Other people knew about it but no one ratted out this person.”

I don’t know about you guys, but I’ve had enough of these accusations. I’m going to go mow my mother’s lawn. **Walk-runs into bathroom to flush stash**

Snookie, "The Situation", and Pauly D. from Jersey Shore played The Three Wise Men last night on Jimmy Kimmel Live in a reenactment of The Story of Christmas. It was clear from their performance that "The Situation" still has sick abs, Snookie can’t pronounce words correctly, and camels have a taste for Messiah flesh. No one really cares about Pauly D. He should probably assault someone.

Jersey Shore Performs the Story of Christmas – Watch more Funny Videos

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