“Oh, I fear death. My biggest fear is death, because I don’t think I’m going anywhere. And since I don’t think that, and I don’t have a belief … I’m married to someone who has the belief, so she knows she’s going somewhere.  I want to be frozen, on thehope that they’ll find whatever I died of and they’ll bring me back.”

So it’s official – Larry King fears death. And doesn’t believe in reincarnation. So if you see Larry King, do him him and his fans a favor by clubbing him over the head, then freezing him in liquid nitrogen. Do the same if you see Piers Morgan, too. Actually, don’t freeze Piers Morgan. Just hit him in the head, then go about the rest of your day.

It’s funny to think of someone resuscitating Larry King in like 50 years, only to find him looking like that.

“NEXT CALLER…GLADYS IN PURGATORY. GLADYS, YOU’RE ON THE LINE!”