Don't get too excited. The new trailer for Showgirls Exposed, the sequel to Showgirls, is awful. Sure, there's neon lights and ass, but I can give you a list of better ways to see such a combination. Well no, not right now. Ask me later, when I'm NOT writing a post. It appears as if director Marc Vorlander grabbed a Handycam, a bottle of peach schnapps, and stumbled drunkenly through a nondescript city filming debauchery. If you stumble around long enough, chances are you're going to capture girls having a three-way with a dog, a stripper getting bludgeoned, and a mob boss executing one of his minions. In fact, I saw all three such things the other night whilst walking through a parking lot in Hollywood. I was British that evening. Check out the NSFW trailer for Showgirls Exposed after the jump…IF YOU DARE.
Showgirls 2: The Return – Redband Trailer – Watch more Movie TrailersMurder by dumbbell, tainted coke, nipples, and strobe filters. Showgirls 2 resembles the locker room at my local Bally's Fitness. Don't ask me why the janitor rapidly flicks the lights on and off in there. One second you're checking your weight, the next second you're the subject of a massive circle jerk.Someone willingly gave director Marc Vorlander $25 million dollars to film a sequel to the atrocious Showgirls and it appears he spent most of it on the retro 45-second title sequence at the end of the trailer. Wow, Vorlander directed this piece of sh*t?! I knew that guy in high school. He'd always flick the lights on and off in gym…wait a minute. Bally's janitor! These links want a lap dance.The Most Racist Movies Ever (Moviefone)Creepy Batman Burlesque Show (Asylum)25 Sexy Snow Bunnies (HolyTaco)6 Ways to Get Lectured By Internet Commenters (Uproxx)Soccer Goalie Delivers Lethal Drop Kick (TotalProSports)10 Movies Where People's Heads Explode (Unreality)Pudzianowski's Next Opponent is a Fat Guy (CagePotato)Best Video Game Sports Reenactments (Maxim)Hot Alessandra Ambrosia Pics (CelebJihad)7 Best Buddy Cop Movies (Pajiba)Brangelina are Still Collecting Children (Atom) Sexy Spring Break Safety Tips (MadeMan)Danica and Dale Jr. at War (AllLeftTurns)