Producer Louise Vesth filled in the details. “We shot the actors pretending to have sex and then had the body doubles, who really did have sex, and in post we will digital-impose the two. So above the waist it will be the star and the below the waist it will be the doubles.”

This is easily the most perverse use of Forrest Gump technology.

During an interview with MTV, Shia LaBeouf confirmed that he will indeed be working with director Lars von Trier on his next project, Nymphomaniac. Not only that, but he also revealed that all of the film’s sex scenes will be completely unsimulated, which, of course, means that LaBeouf will basically be getting paid to have real sex with his co-stars in front of the entire crew.

“It is what you think it is. There’s a disclaimer at the top of the script that basically says, we’re doing [the sex] for real. And anything that is ‘illegal’ will be shot in blurred images. But other than that, everything is happening,” LaBeouf said during the interview. (Via)

No word on what else Von Trier has planned. Probably some butt-play though.

So, rather than offer up a lot of commentary here, let me regale you with a list of quotes from an interview with THR.

• “There’s no room for being a visionary in the studio system. It literally cannot exist. You give Terrence Malick a movie likeTransformers, and he’s f–ed. There’s no way for him to exist in that world.”
• “[The studios] give you the money, then get on a plane and come to the set and stick a finger up your ass and chase you around for five months.” (To be fair to the studios, this one sounds kind of fun.)
• “…I’m only going to work now when I’m terrified.”

Luckily there were cameras there so we can all enjoy the fisticuffs. Err, I mean, get well, Shia.

But he’s not the only star who has found it difficult to enjoy a night out without some random jerk taking a swing at them. In fact, I can think of eleven off the top of my head.

Channing Tatum

Some obsessive Fighting fans may have taken their love of the film too far when they tried to throw down with Channing Tatum at a club in Chicago. Reports vary on whether or not Tatum threw any punches in the huge fracas, but he did have to be ushered away by security. There was no word on what caused the altercation but speculation is that a mumbling Tatum grew frustrated when asked to repeat himself over and over again.

Sean Bean

Sean Bean not only proved his mettle, but he also proved that he is metal when he refused medical attention and returned inside for a drink after being stabbed in a fight this year outside a London pub. My theory is that he’s actually a Highlander.

6 photosBrit Marling

Marling is now in talks for the lead female role in Redford’s next directorial debut, The Company You Keep. As previously reported, the movie stars Shia LaBeouf as an ambitious young reporter seeking to out Redford’s former Weather Underground member. There aren’t any real details about Marling’s character but at least she won’t be required to stuff dollar bills into Channing Tatum‘s waistline. Seems like a wise career choice. (Variety)

Shia will play a young journalist who tracks down an aging fugitive revolutionary, played by Redford. The film will begin production in Vancouver in September, which is fortunate, because Vancouver is probably really nice that time of year.

The script is a Lem Dobbs adaptation of a Neil Gordon novel of the same name.

LaBeouf has certainly made the most of his-post Transformers time, signing up for a handful of prestige projects, the most notable being The Wettest County in the World, which also features Mia Wasikowska, Gary Oldman, and Tom Hardy. Meanwhile, Redford will be returning to his baseball wheelhouse playing Branch Rickey in an untitled study of Rickey’s relationship with Jackie Robinson.

First one to get a set pic of LaBeouf teaching Redford about Twitter will get the undying thanks of the Screen Junkies team. (Variety)

“I’m sure they’ll make more of them. It’s still a very hot franchise, there’s still value in it. I think people will still go to see it. I just don’t know if I have anything to contribute.”

7 photosRosie Huntington-Whiteley

If this were just a movie about cool robot fights, that would be awesome. That’s not what it is though. The robot fights are only okay at best, and it’s not a lack of plot that’s the problem. There’s TOO MUCH plot. Guys, stop telling Hollywood you want more story in your blockbusters. They don’t get it. They think it just means adding more explanation. Each sequel has a BIGGER plot that overshadows the action by sheer magnitude.

See New 3D 'Transformers: Dark Of The Moon' Trailer, If You've Got The Tech

I kind of dig the idea that the space program was really a government mission to investigate a crashed Cybertron ship on the moon. Just leave it at that. Don’t explain how Sam (Shia Labeouf) goes on job interviews making racist comments to Japanese stereotypes. Don’t have Charlotte (Frances McDormand) come in to reign in the Autobots until it’s too late. Don’t have Dylan Gold (Patrick Dempsey) explain… whatever it was he knew about. If it’s only about the robots, why apologize for that by contriving a long convoluted conspiracy plot? Is it guilt?

Of course Michael Bay introduces Sam’s new girlfriend Carly (Rosie Huntington-Whiteley) with an ass shot. Sam’s just used to having hot girlfriends now so he just complains about his job prospects and gender dynamics with disparate income levels. One of Sam’s little robot friends (either Brains or the other one) even comments on his last girlfriend, the mean one. Mom actually says, “What a gorgeous box” while a close-up of Huntington-Whitley is on screen. I mean, I’m not reading too much into this, am I? There was a possible hentai scene with Decepticon tentacles threatening her. Missed opportunity there.

9 photos‘Transformers 3′ Rolls Out Shiny, New Stills

There’s really not any action while all of this is going on. A few office machines turn into robots and the Autobots blow through some Iraqi roadblocks, but that’s just busy. It’s not really action. About an hour in there’s an okay freeway chase, but it’s totally derivative of the better freeway chase in Transformers 1 with the bus.

Finally the climactic battle goes on for about 55 minutes. That would be enough for sheer volume, if you’d gotten to it in 45 minutes. 90 minutes in, you’ve already burned that bridge. I still wasn’t engaged like in the first film. The tilted building is okay, like Inception with real world physics. Five minutes into that sequence, we see there are still people in the offices. Were they just trying to finish their work the whole time?

The IMAX does look better in the 2.35:1 ratio than the full frame IMAX sequences of Revenge of the Fallen. The 3-D cameras force it to remain steady. Even handheld shots are careful. But what really looks cool is the trailer to Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol. With a full IMAX sequence on the Burj Khalifa, that movie looks fantastic!

10 photosMegan Fox

Asked if he hooked up with Fox, LaBeouf nods affirmatively. “Look, you’re on the set for six months, with someone who’s rooting to be attracted to you, and you’re rooting to be attracted to them,” he explains. “I never understood the separation of work and life in that situation. But the time I spent with Megan was our own thing, and I think you can see the chemistry onscreen.” When I inquire about Fox’s status at the time with her longtime boyfriend, Brian Austin Green, LaBeouf replies, “I don’t know, man. I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know. . . .”—repeating the phrase exactly 12 times with various intonations, as if trying to get it just right. Finally, he says, “It was what it was.”

I’m not saying that I believe him cuz I don’t, but Shia should watch his back. He just made a powerful enemy.

In an interview with MTV, LaBeouf conveyed that he had talked to Ford recently and that Ford was “staying in the gym” to prepare for the role, so it must be around the corner. Some specious reasoning on Shia’s part, as it’s widely assumed that Lucas hasn’t yet locked down a script. So if Harrison Ford is planning on “staying in the gym” until filming starts, there’s a decent chance he could show up to set looking like a 69 year-old Vin Diesel. Which would be awesome, if only for the comedic value of it all.

Shia hedged his comments by speaking to Lucas’ process, saying “I mean, he’s got to let it sit. He’s going through his ruminations, which is extensive.”

Let’s hope those ruminations get sped up. Not because anyone’s all that excited about another installment, but because poor Harrison is an old man and years of exertion in the gym in anticipation will probably kill him.

12 photosVictoria’s Secret Fashion Show Angels Hot Pics Girls Yowza!

“Mike films women in a way that appeals to a 16-year-old sexuality. It’s summer. It’s Michael Bay‘s style. And I think [Megan Fox] never got comfortable with it. This is a girl who was taken from complete obscurity and placed in a sex-driven role in front of the whole world and told she was the sexiest woman in America. And she had a hard time accepting it. When Mike would ask her to do specific things, there was no time for fluffy talk. We’re on the run. And the one thing Mike lacks is tact. There’s no time for [LaBeouf assumes a gentle voice] ‘I would like you to just arch your back 70 degrees.’”

“Rosie comes with this Victoria’s Secret background, and she’s comfortable with it, so she can get down with Mike’s way of working and it makes the whole set vibe very different. Megan developed this Spice Girl strength, this woman-empowerment [stuff] that made her feel awkward about her involvement with Michael who some people think is a very lascivious filmmaker, the way he films women.”

Ouch. “Fluffy talk.” “Spice Girls strength.” My ass feels like it was slapped just by reading that. (Hero Complex)

But, no matter how much you imagine it, there aren’t any robots to be seen here. Just Patrick Dempsey vaguely being a dick to Shia LaBeouf. Which sounds cool on paper, but I dunno. I kind of wanted there to be robots. (Comingsoon)

It’s looking like the Transformers are raising hell in another downtown. Couldn’t they find a nice farm or pasture to battle in? It would really cut down on the destruction they cause all the civilians.

Other observations:

• Optimus Prime is a bit of a twirler
• Bumblebee has gotten pretty good at parkour
• Flying squirrel people are our last line of defense

God help us all.

There are also two photos that don’t have any robots, unless the new model Transformers have the ability to transform into Shia LaBeouf. But before you weep for the future, remember: Michael Bay could be wrong. You might find yourself in the not-too-distant future enjoying friendship with a robot. Just try to make sure it’s not a Decepticon. (Apple)

I didn’t see Transformers 2, but my understanding is that all I missed were a bunch of racist transform-o-bots. However, the first Transformers movie focused a lot on the stupid boring humans, and these pictures show a bunch of stupid boring humans. So for the next batch of pictures, let’s see some sports cars that turn into ninjas or something.

Transformers 3 explodes in 3D theaters on July 1st (Collider, SpoilerTV)

Based on the best-selling book of the same name by Joe Hill, Horns is about a dude named Ig Perrish - whose birth certificate probably got smudged or something – who wakes up from a night of heavy drinking with a pair of horns growing from his head. (I’ve had worse hangovers.) Now he has to solve the mystery of the horns… oh, and also figure out who killed his girlfriend. Sounds like this could be a USA series too. “He’s horny for mysteries.”

LaBeouf will star as Ig, Keith Bunin (“In Treatment”) is writing the adaptation for Mandalay Pictures. Fun fact: Hill is the son of Stephen King. For reals – if I’m lying, may I grow horns on my head, or something retarded like that. (Variety)

John August (Corpse Bride) wrote the most recent adaptation for Columbia Pictures, which is reportedly faithful to the original Garth Ennis comic. At one point, Sam Mendes was attached to direct, but he bailed for Bond. That’s what we know for sure, because the Caruso story is only a rumor. At this point, a Preacher adaptation has been “in the works” since 1998, and was at one time going to be an HBO mini-series directed by Mark Steven Johnson (Ghost Rider). So… anybody awesome wanna direct this instead? (/Film)

Not pictured: Charlie Sheen

Christmas has come early for John Hillcoat. He was all frownies last year when funding dropped out for his drama The Wettest County In The World. Turns out, he can get wet after all.

The project is now back on with Shia LaBeouf and Tom Hardy up for the lead roles. Originally, LaBeouf, Ryan Gosling, Michael Shannon, and Amy Adams were on board last year to play the family of criminal bootleggers. Since then, Michael Shannon has dropped out and there’s no update on the other two. Does this mean we won’t get to see Christian Bale fight a bear?  (LA Times)

^{"So, Shia. When I told you to ‘f**k off,’ what I really meant was ‘f**k off.’"}

Oliver Stone just sky-rocketed to the position of my favorite person on Earth with today’s news that he told Shia LaBeouf to eff off. LaBeouf recounted the story at the Wall Street 2 premiere:

"We’re in the Adirondacks, and Josh Brolin and I are shooting this bike scene, and at one point I say to Josh a line — ‘You should look at yourself in the mirror first and see yourself. It might scare you.’ I looked at the line for a couple of months and thought I’d go to Oliver and say, ‘You look at the mirror and look at yourself. It’s sort of repetitive. Why don’t we just cut one of those? Why don’t I say, Look at yourself. It might scare you.’ This is Oliver verbatim. He looks at me and goes, ‘I like mirror. I wrote Scarface. Go fuck yourself.’"

Oliver Stone, I officially forgive you for U-Turn. Now, could you please cast Justin Bieber in one of your films? (Vulture)

This video is basically saying that Jewish people share certain traits. I should know. I look like a combo of Shia, Adam Sandler, and Marty Feldman. (Buzzfeed)

Enjoy these Thursday links.

_{Sara Silverman Goes Full Frontal In ‘Taking This Waltz’ (Moviehopping)}

_{Brooklyn Man Uses Found Pennies To Make Art (Asylum)}

_{The 16 Most Shameful Politician’s Daughters (Ranker)}

_{5 Legitimate Reasons To View Porn At Work (HolyTaco)}

_{Frotcast 14: Easbound & Down Centurion, And 30 For 30 (FilmDrunk)}

_{Dive Bar T-Shirt Club (Maxim)}

_{New York Mets Now Hiring Sports Spoof Commercial (BarStoolSports)}

_{A Tribute To The Trapper Keeper (EgoTV)}

_{F*cking F*ck Sidekick Ellen Page, ‘Super’ Clip (Pajiba)}

_{Today I Learned That Don Draper Was A Real Guy (Unreality)}

_{Chick Projectile Vomits During 424-Pound Deadlift (TotalProSports)}

_{Better In Japan: Bicycle Parking (Smosh)}

_{Sexy New Photos Of Inez Sainz (BroBible)}

_{Kim Kardashian Playboy Outtakes (CelebJihad)}

_{New York MMA Documentary (CagePotato)}

_{Airbrushing Controversy Surrounding Gabourey Sidibe (PopEater)}

_{iRetrofone For Old Timey iPhones (MadeMan)}

In this new clip from Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps, Gordon Gecko (Michael Douglas) and Bretton Woods (Josh Brolin) get all up in each others’ business practices. When Gecko takes Bretton to task for his sub-primes, you know it’s on like 4:59PM on the floor of the Stock Exchange. My brow gets sweaty just thinking of these two ruthless businessmen discussing market liquidity. You have to build up to that kind of conflict, though. 

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps crashes into theaters September 24th.

Check out the financial disses after the jump…

^{Please don’t smoke that thing while Tony’s enjoying his cigar, Shia.}

Tony Scott is rumored to be close to directing the adaptation of John Grisham’s The Associate. From his successful "lawyers running away from things" series, The Associate is set to star Shia LaBeouf with The Departed‘s William Monahan on scripting duties.

This isn’t confirmed yet and Scott has enough on his plate with Potsdamer Platz, Hell’s Angels, and that Chippendales movie, so take the news with a grain of salt. I don’t see why they really need a director for this project. John Grisham movies kind of just direct themselves. Do studios really need to pay millions upon millions of dollars to have someone say, "Okay Shia. What you’re giving me right now is a light jog. I need a jaunt. Get them legs up. That’s good. Okay. Now go get double-crossed by Gene Hackman." (LA Times)

Michael Bay is currently shooting Transformers 3 in Playa Vista, CA, and Just Jared managed to snag some pictures from the set. Let me set the scene so that you may fully understand the gravitas behind the stills. Shia LaBeouf, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, and Tyrese Gibson are being chased by an evil Decepticon who tips over a building. Oh the subtext! The building is clearly a metaphor for the Decepticon’s abusive father. I smell an Oscar. **Places lid on trashcan stuffed with a decomposing grouch**

Check out the pics after the jump…

Michael Bay has followed in the footsteps of Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox, he’s crapping on Michael Bay. In an interview with USA Today, Bay admits that Transformers 2 wasn’t that great of a film. He’s even willing to take some of the blame… sort of.

"I’ll take some of the criticism," says Bay, standing at a set built to resemble a dilapidated nuclear reactor. "It was very hard to put (the sequel) together that quickly after the writers’ strike (of 2007-08)."

Are you sure this was on set? I hear Michael Bay has a bed shaped like a dilapidated nuclear reactor.

"One thing we’re getting rid of is what I call the dorky comedy," Bay adds. So the twins, the two bumbling, slang-spewing robots? "They’re basically gone,"

Please bookmark this article for when something far worse than the Twins pratfalls its way throughout the movie. I’m hoping to build a court case modeled after The People Vs. Revenge of the Sith. At least we may have a more fascinating villian (like that matters in these films). Bay admits that the Fallen was kind of a "sh*t character," and reveals the next film will feature Shockwave as the blurry, jumble of robot that will scream his own name for zero discernible reason. He also notes:

"As a trilogy, it really ends," he says. "It could be rebooted again, but I think it has a really killer ending."

Sure. We’ve all heard that before.

^{This is what happens when you complain.}

Last week we pondered whether Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, the Victoria’s Secret model with zero acting credibility, would be selected to fill the Megan Fox-shaped hole in all of our Transformers 3 hearts. Today we have the answer: duh.

Pending negotiations, Rosie will fill the role of semi-nude girl tinkering with a motor, and star opposite Shia LaBeouf, Josh Duhamel, and Tyrese Gibson. If she opts in, Rosie will be having her leg humped by either a miniature Decepticon or Shia LaBeouf within the next few weeks. (Deadline)

George ‘El Guapo’ Roush of Latino Review says that "if you hate The Muppets, you hate life."

I’ll take it one step further. If you hate The Muppets, I hate you. By that logic, I don’t hate Nick Stoller, the director of Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Stoller is at the helm of the latest outing from Kermit and the gang, The Greatest Muppet Movie of All Time.

I always call The Muppets, the ‘gateway drug for comedy nerds.’ It’s the first comedy we’re introduced to, at least people our age. That’s what we’re going for with that. It will be for the whole family I guess, and for anyone who likes Muppets."

Unlike my other childhood favorites (Star Wars Indiana Jones, Eraserhead), The Muppets are perfect for a remake/reboot since the characters don’t age. Well, neither does that "baby" from Eraserhead, but that’s pretty much a Muppet when you think about it.

At any rate, until Shia Labeouf signs on as the villain who pretends to be interested in porking Miss Piggy so he can kidnap The Muppets and sell them off to "Furries," I’m going to remain optimistic. Waka, Waka, Waka!

The Shia LaBeouf blame train is once again leaving the station. But this time, instead of badmouthing the work of a universally reviled Michael Bay film, he’s going after the work of of one of the greatest living directors, Steven Spielberg.

In a recent interview with the Los Angeles Times, LeBeouf said he was disappointed with Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, admitting his own performance was sub par, but also calling out the work of the famed director.

I would never disrespect the man. I think he’s a genius, and he’s given me my whole life. He’s done so much great work that there’s no need for him to feel vulnerable about one film. But when you drop the ball you drop the ball."

I fully agree that Spielberg dropped the ball, mainly by casting LaBeouf in the film. But I do like LaBeouf’s habit of waiting until well after the fact to badmouth his own work. Along those lines, I’d like to apologize for my poorly written feature on the history of G.I. Joe war atrocities. While I do take some responsibility, I’d also like to say that Patrick Schumacker, the former editor of Screen Junkies, dropped the ball. (CinemaBlend)