The prolific producer, who will have completed a film by the time you finish reading this sentence, has tapped screenwriter Michael MacLean (Sharktopus) and director Jim Wynorski (Dinocroc vs. Supergator) to make Piranhaconda. “What is a Piranhaconda,” you ask? No, you didn’t ask. You already know, because it’s really, really obvious. Officially, the beast is described as having “razor sharp teeth and 100 feet of constricting power.” However, we describe it as two deadly animals put together with laughably terrible CG for the purposes of creating a salable ”cult” movie as quickly as humanly possible.

Shooting begins next month in Hawaii. No word yet on if they’re also shooting Piranhaconda vs. Sharktopus and Snakerhinopanda at the same time. (Dread Central)

^{You crazy for this one, Roger Corman!}

Sharktopus is a good film. An important film. It warns us of the dangers of creating the perfect killing machine and then being ignorant enough to think we can harness its awesome might. In a world of Mega-Pirahnas and Gateroids and Supercrocs and big-ass pythons, you’d think we’d learn that lesson by now. But obviously we have not, and Roger Corman and Syfy are here with the chilling reminder that if you mess with the shark-octopus hybrid monster, you get the spike-tipped tentacle.

I don’t know what amazes me more, the fact that the special effects look as good as they do, or the things that Eric Roberts will do for cocaine. I mean, money. For cocaine.

WATCH THE TRAILER AFTER THE JUMP. TRUST ME, IT DOES NOT DISAPPOINT.

(THR)