Screen Junkies » sharknado http://www.screenjunkies.com Movie Reviews & TV Show Reviews Mon, 27 Oct 2014 23:46:16 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 The Sooner We Address ‘Sharknado 3′ Plot Points, The Sooner We Can Put Them Behind Us http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/the-sooner-we-address-sharknado-3-plot-points-the-sooner-we-can-put-them-behind-us/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/the-sooner-we-address-sharknado-3-plot-points-the-sooner-we-can-put-them-behind-us/#comments Fri, 12 Sep 2014 21:34:42 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=265036 The tornado of sharks will hit D.C. TAKE THAT, CAPITOL HILL FATCATS!

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You know how the best films are usually the result of vigorous crowdsourcing for content and setting (just go with this)? Well, they are. And in keeping with its tradition of greatness, the Sharknado franchise has crowdsourced a setting for its third installment.

And that setting is:

Washington, D.C. Home of the world-famous Washington Wizards. And a bunch of politicians.

We’ve known Sharknado 3 was coming even before our slack-jawed faces turned to the second installment, so this isn’t a huge surprise. And I guess the D.C. thing isn’t that surprising either. I mean, it’s not like they were going to Phoenix. Eh. Sharknado would probably be right at home in Phoenix.

Anyway, it’s D.C.

Now can we pretend that we all saw the movie, and that it was SOOOOOOO CAMPY, and we dished about it on social media and forgot about it an hour later?

Perfect.

(Showbiz 411)

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The Six Best Kills From ‘Sharknado 2: The Second One’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/the-six-best-kills-from-sharknado-2-the-second-one/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-episode/the-six-best-kills-from-sharknado-2-the-second-one/#comments Thu, 31 Jul 2014 22:05:02 +0000 Jared Jones http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=263600 Many brave souls were lost in the worst shark-infested weather catastrophe to hit the Big Apple since The Great White(Shark)out of '84, so it is in memoriam that we pay tribute...

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By Jared Jones

Leave it to the Syfy channel to prove that the idea of a shark-filled tornado can somehow be improved upon with a second viewing.

That’s basically what Sharknado 2: The Second One was, after all — a rehash of the first Sharknado but with a buttload of celebrity cameos — from its name to its plot to its explosive finale. That is in no way is meant as an insult, mind you, as Sharknado 2 was able to accomplish what few cult hits can: create a sequel that captures the nostalgia of the original (recent as it may be) while never once winking at the camera or beating us over the head with those “Remember This?” moments that have all but served as the latter halves of Sly Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger‘s careers.

A brilliant, unexpected triumph Sharknado 2 ultimately was, featuring more brutiful deaths (gorgeously rendered in Microsoft Paint) than you could really wrap your head around in one sitting. My God, there were so many sharksecutions in this movie. Shark beheadings. Shark crushings. Death by flaming shark. The list goes on.

From Kelly Osbourne to Daymond John, many brave souls were lost in the worst shark-infested weather catastrophe to hit the Big Apple since The Great White(Shark)out of ’84, so it is in memoriam that we pay tribute to the following…

Airplane Toilet Lady

Of all the ways I thought that Airplane Toilet Lady (who I’m told is famous on Twitter or something) was going to go out, this was the only way I thought that Airplane Toilet Lady was going to go out.

Tara Reid’s(Hand)

Tara Reid‘s returning performance as April Wexler, Fin’s (Ian Ziering) on-again, off-again wife was as raspy-voiced and on four hours of sleep as ever, but watching her pick off sharks with a Air Marshal’s pistol while hanging out the door of an airplane was nothing short of visual poetry. Listening to her attempts at conveying fear and pain, on the other hand, can only be described as “like hearing a vacuum cleaner choke to death on a dust-covered tator tot.”

A scream queen the likes of Jamie Lee Curtis Reid may not be, but a gunslinger the likes of Doc Holliday? Indubitably.

Kelly Osbourne

I’m just saying, Ozzy would have caught that shark, crushed it up into a line, and snorted it.

Tiffany Shepis

Why would you choose to stand so close to the water during a sharknado? That’s like, the *worst* place to stand, dum-dum. I’m not saying Shepis deserved to have a shark nom on her face like a goddamned chew toy, but I don’t touch fire and expect not to get burned either.

I’m just starting to realize how many of the victims in Sharknado 2 are women. Let us all take to Twitter and challenge Syfy’s blatant misogyny with #YesAllSharknados hashtags.

Daymond John

Death by Lady Liberty is arguably the most noble death an American could ever experience, and it was all the more fitting that Daymond John — a guy with a true rags-to-riches story that epitomizes the American dream — met his demise in like fashion.

Or was his death by Liberty head-crushing perhaps a comment on the capitalist greed and corporate-backed impoverishment of the modern day proletariat through unjust taxation that has made the American dream all but unobtainable to those but a select few?  F*cking Sharknado, why can’t you just let me shut off my mind for 90 minutes?! WHY MUST YOU ALWAYS ASK THE TOUGH QUESTIONS?!!!

Flaming Shark Bystanders

I take that back, Death by Flaming Shark is definitely the most American way to go out. (*salutes, single tear rolls down eye*)

BONUS: The Sharks!!

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO DEFEND THIS COUNTRY, PRESIDENT OBAMA?!! BECAUSE MATT LAUER JUST HARPOONED A F*CKING SHARK WITH AN UMBRELLA.

Any notable deaths we missed? Give us a shout in the comments section. 

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It’s Happening Again In ‘Sharknado 2: The Second One’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/its-happening-again-in-sharknado-2-the-second-one/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/its-happening-again-in-sharknado-2-the-second-one/#comments Thu, 05 Jun 2014 19:32:01 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=video&p=262041 Fire up the chainsaw.

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Much like lightning, tornadoes comprised of sharks never strike in the same place twice. That’s why Ian Ziering and Tara Reid have traveled to New York City for Sharknado 2: The Second One. Syfy hasn’t shared any plot details yet but, c’mon.

The Syfy Original Film also stars Mark McGrath, Vivica A. Fox, Kari Wuhrer, Andy Dick, Kelly Osbourne, Judah Friedlander, Judd Hirsch, Pepa, Kurt Angle, Billy Ray Cyrus, Biz Markie, and somehow NOT Kevin Sorbo. I guess they’re saving him for Sharknado 3.

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Actors Of Waned Popularity To Be Attacked By A Third ‘Sharknado’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/actors-of-waned-popularity-to-be-attacked-by-a-third-sharknado/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/actors-of-waned-popularity-to-be-attacked-by-a-third-sharknado/#comments Wed, 30 Apr 2014 20:40:16 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=261368 We're in for nasty weather.

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When a studio greenlights a sequel before its predecessor premieres, that’s usually a show of tremendous faith. The news that Sharknado 3 has been given the go-ahead from Syfy execs before Sharknado 2: The Second One has even come out means that the network loves the buzz generated by these ridiculous movies, or Ian Ziering gives the performance of his career.

The cast for the latest sequel has not been announced yet but isn’t it about time we got Eric Roberts in one of these things? (AdWeek)

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‘Sharknado’ To Screen In Select Theaters, Pushing The Boundaries Of Lazy Ironic Enjoyment http://www.screenjunkies.com/general/sharknado-to-screen-in-select-theaters-pushing-the-boundaries-of-lazy-ironic-enjoyment/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/general/sharknado-to-screen-in-select-theaters-pushing-the-boundaries-of-lazy-ironic-enjoyment/#comments Fri, 26 Jul 2013 19:26:27 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=256101 Be on the lookout for 'BirdQuake' next spring.

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Sharknado, that movie that everyone on Facebook was talking about two weeks ago, is hitting theaters on August 2nd, most likely in an effort by SyFy to force cult status upon the campy made-for-cable film about a tornado that’s a pack of wild dogs. Or possibly a shark.

SyFy execs cited the Internet buzz associated with the film as a reason the property is on the cusp of stardom, apparently having forgotten to cite the lifespan of Internet buzz as slightly shorter than the time it took to read this sentence.

Anyway, it’s not going to be in 3-D, it’s going to cost money, and you’re already sick of it even though you haven’t seen it. However, this will make for the perfect orientation activity for all the incoming college freshman who weren’t cool enough to get invited to the liquor and beer parties.

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A Sharknado Couldn’t Actually Happen http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/a-sharknado-couldnt-actually-happen/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/a-sharknado-couldnt-actually-happen/#comments Mon, 15 Jul 2013 19:03:14 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=255787 We don't have the science yet.

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For anyone living near the coast planning to relocate their family to middle America in order to protect them from sharknadoes, don’t call the moving company just yet. Today comes new evidence that the weather phenomena known as a sharknado couldn’t actually happen. From Accuweather:

A tornado would not have the ability to sweep up marine life. Traditionally, a tornado is formed over land where a similar formation over water would be known as a waterspout. Understandably, “Shark-Spout” doesn’t have quite the same ring to it.

Greg Skomal, a Shark Specialist at the Massachusetts Marine Fisheries, also shoots down the “Sharknado” plot by explaining that: “The concept that sharks cannot only survive being swept up in a tornado but also attack humans is absurd.”

Thank God that our God is not a cruel god.

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Act Surprised That Tara Reid Is In A Movie Called ‘Sharknado’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/act-surprised-that-tara-reid-is-in-a-movie-called-sharknado/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/act-surprised-that-tara-reid-is-in-a-movie-called-sharknado/#comments Tue, 09 Jul 2013 17:18:56 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=video&p=255680 What on Earth could this film be about?

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Between earthquakes, hurricanes, tsunamis, and torrential floods, the last thing country needs is another natural disaster. Nonetheless, we welcome the most harrowing vehicle of destruction back into our lives – Tara Reid.

Also, there’s something called a sharknado, which I’m pretty sure is a drink at TGI Fridays.

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