Screen Junkies » sex tape http://www.screenjunkies.com Movie Reviews & TV Show Reviews Tue, 02 Dec 2014 20:40:18 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 ‘Sex Tape’ Flopped, And It’s Cameron Diaz’s Fault for Lying to Us http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/sex-tape-flopped-and-its-cameron-diazs-fault-for-lying-to-us/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/sex-tape-flopped-and-its-cameron-diazs-fault-for-lying-to-us/#comments Wed, 23 Jul 2014 13:04:20 +0000 bgoldstein http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=263263 She’s already masturbated on a car and had jizz in her hair — what is Diaz really hiding from?

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By Dustin Seibert

This is why I wanted to watch “Sex Tape.” And this. And this.

I didn’t go see it because I think Jason Segel is funny — hell, he’s probably the least appealing Freaks and Geeks alumni, and Forgetting Sarah Marshall was more overrated than a Crash/Shakespeare in Love double feature set to a soundtrack of Beyoncé records. I wanted to see it because Cameron Diaz promised us that we’d see “everything” — that she would finally let slip the Areolas of War after 20 years of teasing knobs all over the world.

So imagine my surprise when I made it through the whole goddamn movie and saw not one nipple. There was some quick sideboobage and she had some strainers through a white T-shirt, but that’s like getting a hummer through a condom: you feel it, but not the way God meant it to be felt.

Cameron’s been killing it for decades, and while she still looks better than a vast majority of women half her age, at 41, she’s not getting any younger. Father Time comes to bestow wrinkly old balls and saggy boobs on us all, and in this humble critic’s opinion, she needs to release the beasts before it’s too late. She’s already masturbated on a car, had jizz in her hair and been in more terrible movies in the past decade or so than I can count off the top of my head, so what’s she really hiding from? I mean, she could always pull a Farrah Fawcett and do Playboy at age 50, but why tempt fate and gravity?

As for the movie itself, it was about as funny as a late-term abortion. If you wanna make a whole movie predicated on a bullshit premise that any failing high school student with an iPhone would dismiss as absurd, it’d better be hilarious. And Christ almighty, it just wasn’t. There’s a reason that Sex Tape got trounced in its opening weekend, pulling in a lackluster $15 million.

The takeaway: if you’re gonna make a shitbox movie later in your career with a promise of a big nude scene, you’d better at least follow through.

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SEX TAPE Brings You Top 5 Damn You Auto Corrects – EXCLUSIVE http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/sex-tape-brings-you-top-5-damn-you-auto-corrects-exclusive/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/sex-tape-brings-you-top-5-damn-you-auto-corrects-exclusive/#comments Thu, 03 Jul 2014 22:27:13 +0000 Lyndsey Saul http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=video&p=262688 Cameron Diaz and Jason Segel from the movie SEX TAPE read you the top 5 Damn You Auto Corrects.

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Cameron Diaz and Jason Segel from the movie SEX TAPE bring you the top 5 Damn You Auto Corrects. In Theaters July 18th. For more content check out: https://www.facebook.com/SexTapeTheMovie

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‘Sex Tape’ Trailer: Jason Segel And Cameron Diaz Regret Boinking On Camera http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/sex-tape-trailer-jason-segel-and-cameron-diaz-regret-boinking-on-camera/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/sex-tape-trailer-jason-segel-and-cameron-diaz-regret-boinking-on-camera/#comments Tue, 01 Apr 2014 16:36:56 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=video&p=260751 It's a race against time to make sure Rob Corddry doesn't see Cameron Diaz's vagina.

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In the red-band trailer for Sex Tape, Jason Segel and Cameron Diaz star as a couple who are too busy buying iPads for everyone they’ve ever met and have let their sex life fallen by the wayside. To pull out of this rut, they decide to do things with one another’s genitals in front of Steve Jobs‘ All-Seeing Eye. This footage is then somehow synced with the copious amounts of iPads they’ve gifted to family and friends and postal carriers (totally normal thing to do). From there, it’s a race against time to make sure Rob Corddry doesn’t see Cameron Diaz’s vagina.

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‘Iron Man 3′ Almost Featured A Pepper Potts Sex Tape http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/iron-man-3-almost-featured-a-pepper-potts-sex-tape/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/iron-man-3-almost-featured-a-pepper-potts-sex-tape/#comments Tue, 07 May 2013 16:34:12 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=254732 Bow-chikka-bow-wow

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Fair warning: If you ignored our direct order and haven’t gone to see Iron Man 3 yet, read no further. SPOILERS AHEAD.

Empire Magazine sat down with director Shane Black and co-writer Drew Pearce to discuss Iron Man 3 in their latest podcast, which is SPOILER-HEAVY, and some interesting bits came to light. Apparently tired of freaky Wonder Woman sex, Pepper Potts strayed from Tony Stark’s bed and the result was caught on tape. Says Black:

“Pepper, in one draft, slept with [Aldrich] Killian because he was so pheromonially enhanced with this extremis that she couldn’t resist him and she was angry with Tony and so she sleeps with Killian and then he makes a sex tape and broadcasts it in Home Depot.”

That tyrant! Using Home Depot to besmirch Pepper’s reputation would make her look like a total whore in the eyes of migrant workers and women who want new cabinets. Is his evil boundless?

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A Hulk Hogan Sex Tape Now Exists Outside Of My Dreams, As Well http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/a-hulk-hogan-sex-tape-now-exists-outside-of-my-dreams-as-well/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/a-hulk-hogan-sex-tape-now-exists-outside-of-my-dreams-as-well/#comments Wed, 07 Mar 2012 23:09:37 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=247004 Who's the lucky lady?

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The good news is that we no longer have to imagine what Hulk Hogan looks like when he’s fucking. The bad news is…WAIT! There is no bad news. Hulk Hogan has a sex tape, and everyone wins. End of story.

Unfortunately, after his divorce from Linda, Hulk went on such a bacchanalian voyage of drinking and lady-banging that he doesn’t remember any of his conquests. He claims that he didn’t sleep with any women after finding his current partner Jennifer five years ago. And you know what? I believe him. I really do.

Oh my God. I’m so excited about this that I’m…I’m…

I’m HULKING OUT!!!!!

Hogan didn’t know he was being filmed and hasn’t consented to the release, so we’ve got quite the soap opera brewing here.

A couple predictions: The “lady” is Brutus the Beefcake, and the sex tape is sensationally awesome. (TMZ)

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Sony Gets Its Hands On A Sweet ‘Sex Tape’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/sony-gets-its-hands-on-a-sweet-sex-tape/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/sony-gets-its-hands-on-a-sweet-sex-tape/#comments Sat, 04 Jun 2011 22:16:52 +0000 Joseph Gibson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=214833 Who steals a married couple's sex tape?

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Sony Pictures is all about giving the people what they want. And so the people apparently want a comedy about a married couple who makes, and then loses, a sex tape. This is apparent because Sony has paid an absurdly large figure for a spec script with just that premise.

6 photosGal Gadot

The script is by Kate Angelo (who also wrote The Back-Up Plan), and it follows the adventures of the aforementioned married couple as they try to retrieve their sex tape from the hands of … whoever would steal a married couple’s sex tape. The producers are Todd Black, Jason Blumenthal and Steve Tisch, who also came up with the idea. No information on casting or anything like that, but for some reason I’m visualizing a Date Night reunion between Steve Carell and Tina Fey. That seems plausible, right? (Deadline)

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‘Real Housewife’ Threatens World With A Kelsey Grammer Sex Tape http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/real-housewife-threatens-world-with-a-kelsey-grammar-sex-tape/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/real-housewife-threatens-world-with-a-kelsey-grammar-sex-tape/#comments Wed, 15 Dec 2010 19:54:03 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=12517 Camille Donatacci is looking to gain a foothold in her divorce from "Frasier" star Kelsey Grammer by threatening to release a sex tape starring the pair. Move over, WikiLeaks!

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Now picture them without make-up.

Move over, WikiLeaks! “Real Housewife Of Beverly Hills” Camille Donatacci is looking to gain a foothold in her divorce from “Frasier” star Kelsey Grammer by threatening to release a sex tape starring the pair. And we have an exclusive still from the night-vision video. Horrifying.

She’s demanding $71 million from the proceedings and will release the tape otherwise. That ain’t cool. Our eyeballs don’t deserve that kind of treatment. So, dig deep everybody and fork over some money for that ransom. Otherwise, we may never wash the sight of Kelsey Rammer in Tossed Salads And Scrambled Eggs out of our minds. (Examiner)

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http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/real-housewife-threatens-world-with-a-kelsey-grammar-sex-tape/feed/ 4 Kelsey+Grammer+Camille+Donatacci+Granner Now picture them without make-up.
Eva Mendes’s Sticky Sex Tape http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/eva-mendess-sticky-sex-tape/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/eva-mendess-sticky-sex-tape/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 It seems a little convenient that the Eva Mendes sex tape just happened to hit the internet the very week her film The Other Guys opens in theaters. I feel like she's been keeping this one in her pocket for awhile now and the big guns at Sony persuaded (forced) her to release it on the world. We've all demanded it for years, and now it's finally here. Enjoy, Internet. Check out the sticky tape after the jump...

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It seems a little convenient that the Eva Mendes sex tape just happened to hit the internet the very week her film The Other Guys opens in theaters. I feel like she’s been keeping this one in her pocket for awhile now and the big guns at Sony persuaded (forced) her to release it on the world. We’ve all demanded it for years, and now it’s finally here. Enjoy, Internet.

Check out the sticky tape after the jump…

 

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Daily Scream Queen: ‘Gossip Girl’/Sex Tape Star Leighton Meester http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/daily-screen-queen-gossip-girlsex-tape-star-leighton-meester/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/daily-screen-queen-gossip-girlsex-tape-star-leighton-meester/#comments Tue, 30 Jun 2009 19:10:13 +0000 Reza F. Where You've Seen Her: If you are a man that has had a girlfriend within the past two or so years (or are just particularly interested in scandalous primetime soap operas), you've probably seen Leighton Meester on TV's "Gossip Girl."  If you are a man that has had no girlfriend or affliction for girly shows recently, you might remember her as the smoking hot virgin pop star Justine Chapin on "Entourage."  Soon most every guy will probably know her from her highly touted sex tape, which reportedly features her using her feet in creative ways.  What a novel concept!  A Word From Leighton: "I don't feel guilty at all if I'm just lying around, one of my best guilty pleasures is doing absolutely nothing"Check out a screenshot of the sex tape itself, and other hot (yet less seedy) photos of Leighton Meester after the jump:

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Where You’ve Seen Her: If you are a man that has had a girlfriend within the past two or so years (or are just particularly interested in scandalous primetime soap operas), you’ve probably seen Leighton Meester on TV’s "Gossip Girl."  If you are a man that has had no girlfriend or affliction for girly shows recently, you might remember her as the smoking hot virgin pop star Justine Chapin on "Entourage."  Soon most every guy will probably know her from her highly touted sex tape, which reportedly features her using her feet in creative ways.  What a novel concept!
 
A Word From Leighton: "I don’t feel guilty at all if I’m just lying around, one of my best guilty pleasures is doing absolutely nothing"

Check out a screenshot of the sex tape itself, and other hot (yet less seedy) photos of Leighton Meester after the jump:

 

         

         

    

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