Kevin Clash, the actor better-known as Elmo, took leave from Sesame Street after being accused of a sexual relationship with a teenager. Those accusations were recanted. Then that recanting was retracted. Alas, today a second man has now come forward alleging that he and Clash banged when he was fifteen-years old. When asked why he was now coming forward some fifteen years later, the accuser says he only just now realized he was upset by the relationship and would like $5 million. That’s enough for Sesame Workshop to release the following statement:

“Two. Two accusations of sex with a minor. Ah! Ah! Ah!”

They also said this:

“Sesame Workshop’s mission is to harness the educational power of media to help all children the world over reach their highest potential. Kevin Clash has helped us achieve that mission for 28 years, and none of us, especially Kevin, want anything to divert our attention from our focus on serving as a leading educational organization. Unfortunately, the controversy surrounding Kevin’s personal life has become a distraction that none of us want, and he has concluded that he can no longer be effective in his job and has resigned from Sesame Street. This is a sad day for Sesame Street.”

It is a sad day for Sesame Street. Even worse than that time those puppeteers suffocated inside of the Snuffleupagus costume. It’s also a sad day for Clash. Much like Lance Armstrong, his decision to step down paints him in a negative light that will likely tarnish his reputation forever. However, there is a bright side. History shows us that sex with teenagers isn’t that big of a deal. He always has a future on Broadway. (Gawker)

Yesterday accusations surfaced that Clash had engaged in a sexual relationship with a teenage boy, allegations that Clash strongly denied. Today brings good news as a sunny day has swept those clouds away. Gothamist received the following letter from the accuser’s lawyer.

“This office represented a 23-year-old man who was the subject of many media reports regarding Kevin Clash. He wants it to be known that his sexual relationship with Mr. Clash was an adult consensual relationship. He will have no further comment on the matter.”

We assume the accuser saw the damage he did to a man he was very close to and decided to do the right thing. Or he found a bag of cash behind Oscar’s garbage can. At any rate, WALK TALL, ELMO! You’re a free Muppet!

Kevin Clash — the man known as the voice of Elmo — has taken a leave of absence from Sesame Street in the wake of allegations he had a sexual relationship with a 16-year-old boy, TMZ has learned … allegations Clash adamantly denies.

We’ve learned … Sesame Workshop lawyers recently met with a 23-year-old man who claims he and Clash began a sexual relationship 7 years ago … when he was 16 and Clash was 45.

Clash has acknowledged to TMZ he had a relationship with the young man — but insists it only took place AFTER the accuser was an adult. (TMZ)

Innocent or guilty, we always knew that Elmo was a monster. This should surprise nobody.

While it may come across as laughable that this is one of the manners in which we’re helping rebuild the country, the sad fact is that this program may serve as the largest source of children‘s education for the impoverished state.

The series will feature such beloved characters as Big Bird and Elmo. Gordon was slated to make several guest appearances on the show, but was captured in transit from the Kabul airport to the television studio and beheaded. Just kidding. I’m sure he’s fine.

You can do more than tickle him for a bump.

3 photosAw Man, The Muppet Movie Has Hipsters

“(Dann) said the whole purpose of ‘Sesame Street‘ was to cater to black and Hispanic youths who, quote-unquote, do not have reading literature in the house,” Shapiro told Hannity. “There’s kind of this soft bigotry of low expectations.”

He also went after the “Sesame Street” website’s promotion of “gender-neutral language. Make sure you give your boys dolls and make sure you give your girls fire trucks.” Another commentator claimed that gender-neutral thinking led high school choosing a gay kid as prom king. Yup, there’s definitely no need to further substantiate that line of reasoning, and he did not.

Shapiro interviewed the producers and showrunners of several popular TV shows, including “Friends” and “House,” who he says substantiated his claim of TV’s liberal bias. To be fair, Chandler’s catchphrase “could I be anymore of a gay rights crusader and anti-gun activist” was kind of a dead giveaway. (Hollywood Reporter)

Real Bert is really terrifying.

Things have changed since I used to visit.

It’s been said that only Nixon could go to China. Well tell that to Big Bird, bitch.

The “Sesame Street” gang (not to be confused with the Gang of Four) has cut a deal that will eventually see a Chinese version of the show broadcast across the country, targeting the nation’s estimated 87 million children. Let a hundred flowers bloom.

Now, my first instinct was to make a joke about Big Bird hanging in a Chinese butcher shop window, or maybe something about Oscar the Grouch being sent to a reeducation camp for subversive thought. But instead, I’ll take the high road by avoiding stereotypes.

In the new show, set to air each day at 5:30 pm, a new, Chinese Sesame Street character—a martial arts expert Muppet called Tiger Lily–will join Big Bird and Elmo.

Damn it! You’re not making this easy, China. (THR)

Today’s links start with the letter YEEEEAH!

Basketball Teammates Who Touch Each Other More Win More (Asylum)

Barstool NY Local Smokeshow of the Day (BarstoolSports)

Check Out the Preview for Jorge Rivera’s Incredible Looking Documentary (CagePotato)

25 Bizarre Propaganda Posters (HolyTaco)

White Dog, the Shelved Movie About a Racist Dog, Comes to Netflix Instant (FilmDrunk)

Denzel Washington and Chris Pine Go Unscripted (MovieFone)

Kelly Brooks Wears Tights, Proves Allah Exists (CelebJihad)

Gob Bluth Stops By Sesame Street (Unreality)

Top Eight Videos of Rock Stars Falling Off Stage (Maxim)

What Her Facebook Pics Say About Her (MadeMan)

25 Hilarious Sign Hacks (Smosh)

16 ‘Athletes‘ Featured on the Cover of Playboy (TotalProSports)

The Greatest Goal Every Scored (TuVez)

I’m rachel McAdams, a Badass Skinny White Girl (Pajiba)

John Mayer Throws Cold Water on Giada de Laurentiis Rumors (PopEater)

The 13 Most Sexually Aggressive Cartoon Characters (Ranker)

It’s a painting by Hillary White based on Rembrandt’s "The Anatomy Lesson of Dr. Nicolaes Tulp." It’s also the reason I’ll wake up screaming in a cold sweat tonight. (BuzzFeed)

Get cultured with these links.

_{Top 49 Most Influential Men of 2010 (AskMen)}

_{2010 Halloween Costume Ideas (MovieFone)}

_{Lamborghini Gallardo Driver Survives 235-mph Smash (Asylum)}

_{The 25 Best and Worst Nintendo Innovations (Ranker)}

_{Alice Greczyn Pictures (HolyTaco)}

_{Indiana Jones Movies Getting 3D Re-release? (FilmDrunk)}

_{The Main Event: Taylor Cole (Maxim)}

_{Black Ninja Can’t Be Stopped By Police With Pellet Guns (BarstoolSports)}

_{Flexible Girls: Imagine the Possibilities (EgoTV)}

_{The 15 Most Memorable Telvision Commercial Campaigns from the 1990s (Pajiba)}

_{10 Great Actors Who Died Way Too Early (Unreality)}

_{Ezequiel Lavezzi Scores an Amazing Goal (TotalProSports)}

_{Hero Kid Uses Nintendo DS to Save Family (Smosh)}

_{Who Will Win the NBA Championship This Year? (BroBible)}

_{Underage Taylor Momsen Flashes Audience (CelebJihad)}

_{The UFC Has Their Mexican Heavyweight Champ (CagePotato)}

_{Charlie Sheen’s Bad Hotel Stay (PopEater)}

_{Brazillian Soccer Player Pushed Down the Stairs (TuVez)}

_{What Attracts Women (MadeMan)}

Why "Sesame Street" made a "True Blood" parody entitled "True Mud" is beyond me. I’m assuming it caters to moms who are familiar with the HBO series, and little kids whose parents have no problem exposing their spawn to vampire hate sex. That’s progressive for a children’s show.

Check out the video of "True Mud" after the jump. Then maybe after you can tell me what the hell True Mud is and why grouches require it. And if grouches do require it, why isn’t Oscar THE Grouch the one asking for it instead of some Southern emo puppet?

Sesame Stree True Blood Parody – Watch more Funny Videos

(Vulture)

Recently Sesame Street‘s Elmo was having a really hard time falling asleep (you would too if you had a hand shoved up your poop-shoot). Luckily, the unbelievably famous Ricky Gervais broke into the young Muppet’s bedroom to assist with a "Celebrity Lullaby."

To coax Elmo off to Dreamland, Gervais decided to serenade him about the letter "N" and all the words you can spell with it. Words like, Nap, Nightcap, Nummies, and Naff off you insufferable little sh*t. Gervais doesn’t come right out and say that but you can tell he wants to. Between this and their earlier insult-laden video, the tension between them is so thick. Hurry up and bang already, you two. Everyone knows you want it.

Ricky Gervais Torments Elmo – Watch more Funny Videos

You may have noticed Big Bird’s junk on Google today and thought to yourself, "What in blue blazes?!! I’m writing a letter!" Well, put down that pen, nerd. Big Bird’s balls are all over Google because it’s his 40th birthday and he has friends in high places. Hard to believe that Big Bird is now officially middle-aged. Then again I’m not really sure what the life expectancy is for a gigantic, ambiguously gay, yellow songbird. So…. Happy Birthday you big freak! (Associated Content)

Have a piece of birdseed cake and check out these links…

_{Hot Chicks Love the Top Gun Song (HolyTaco)}

_{Tim Tebow Makes For Quite the Halloween Costume (TotalProSports)}

_{The Amazing Mambo Dancing Dog (SuperTremendous)}

_{Avatar Crew Can’t Stop Congratulating Itself (FilmDrunk)}

_{The Voices in Steve Guttenberg‘s Head (Pajiba)}

_{Michael Jackson Pees for Children (CelebJihad)}

_{How to Make a Convincing Chewbacca Noise (Unreality)}

_{Halloween at the White House (Asylum)}

_{Stacy Keibler Back to Selling "Used" Bikinis (BustedCoverage)}

_{Reunited with Dad (RegretfulMorning)}

_{iPhone Owners Make Bad Girlfriends (MadeMan)}

_{Danica NASCAR Deal Close (AllLeftTurns)}

_{Phillies and Yankees Fans Fight (NothingToxic)}

_{Hot Bawls Gets You Amped (Atom)}