Today’s word is “Treat yo’ self.”
He’s never really been one for impulse control.
As a second accuser comes forward.
No need to Occupy Sesame Street after all, you guys.
Innocent or guilty, we always knew that Elmo was a monster. This should surprise nobody.
In this version, Sesame Street will be riddled with IED’s and goat carcasses.
You can do more than tickle him for a bump.
Sunny days… turning our children gay?
Real Bert is really terrifying.
Things have changed since I used to visit.
It’s been said that only Nixon could go to China. Well tell that to Big Bird, bitch.
Rap’s most prolific shouter, Lil Jon, remixed the “Sesame Street” theme because why not? The lyrics always needed more “MOTHERF*CKERS!” in them.
It's a painting by Hillary White based on Rembrandt's "The Anatomy Lesson of Dr. Nicolaes Tulp." It's also the reason I'll wake up screaming in a cold sweat tonight. (BuzzFeed)
Get cultured with these links.
Top 49 Most Influential Men of 2010 (AskMen)
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The 25 Best and Worst Nintendo Innovations (Ranker)
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The UFC Has Their Mexican Heavyweight Champ (CagePotato)
Charlie Sheen's Bad Hotel Stay (PopEater)
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What Attracts Women (MadeMan)
Why "Sesame Street" made a "True Blood" parody entitled "True Mud" is beyond me. I'm assuming it caters to moms who are familiar with the HBO series, and little kids whose parents have no problem exposing their spawn to vampire hate sex. That's progressive for a children's show.
Check out the video of "True Mud" after the jump. Then maybe after you can tell me what the hell True Mud is and why grouches require it. And if grouches do require it, why isn't Oscar THE Grouch the one asking for it instead of some Southern emo puppet?
Recently Sesame Street's Elmo was having a really hard time falling asleep (you would too if you had a hand shoved up your poop-shoot). Luckily, the unbelievably famous Ricky Gervais broke into the young Muppet's bedroom to assist with a "Celebrity Lullaby." To coax Elmo off to Dreamland, Gervais decided to serenade him about the letter "N" and all the words you can spell with it. Words like, Nap, Nightcap, Nummies, and Naff off you insufferable little sh*t. Gervais doesn't come right out and say that but you can tell he wants to. Between this and their earlier insult-laden video, the tension between them is so thick. Hurry up and bang already, you two. Everyone knows you want it.
You may have noticed Big Bird's junk on Google today and thought to yourself, "What in blue blazes?!! I'm writing a letter!" Well, put down that pen, nerd. Big Bird's balls are all over Google because it's his 40th birthday and he has friends in high places. Hard to believe that Big Bird is now officially middle-aged. Then again I'm not really sure what the life expectancy is for a gigantic, ambiguously gay, yellow songbird. So…. Happy Birthday you big freak! (Associated Content) Have a piece of birdseed cake and check out these links… Hot Chicks Love the Top Gun Song (HolyTaco) Tim Tebow Makes For Quite the Halloween Costume (TotalProSports) The Amazing Mambo Dancing Dog (SuperTremendous) Avatar Crew Can't Stop Congratulating Itself (FilmDrunk) The Voices in Steve Guttenberg's Head (Pajiba) Michael Jackson Pees for Children (CelebJihad) How to Make a Convincing Chewbacca Noise (Unreality) Halloween at the White House (Asylum) Stacy Keibler Back to Selling "Used" Bikinis (BustedCoverage) Reunited with Dad (RegretfulMorning) iPhone Owners Make Bad Girlfriends (MadeMan) Danica NASCAR Deal Close (AllLeftTurns) Phillies and Yankees Fans Fight (NothingToxic) Hot Bawls Gets You Amped (Atom)