(Update: Turns out Demi was actually hospitalized after huffing nitrous oxide. Really, whip-its? You’re a millionaire, not a 13-year-old boy loitering behind a Missouri Walmart.)

Whyamisotired.com explains “exhaustion” as follows:

Most people feel tired after a busy day, but bona fide medically diagnosed exhaustion is something else entirely. Exhaustion may also be described as fatigue, languidness, lassitude, listlessness, lethargy and languor. Fatigue or exhaustion symptoms are reported by the patient as opposed to being something that is observed by others, which would be a sign instead of a symptom.

Okay, so now I’m more confused than I was, although likely the person writing that was suffering from being retarded.

Demi and Tracy are just the latest to come down with exhaustion. There is a veritable army of celebrities who have checked themselves in to hospitals because life was too tough at the top of a pile of money.

Mariah Carey

Back in 2001, Mariah Carey checked into a hospital because she was tired. I’m sorry, “extreme exhaustion,” which is probably exhaustion dyed bright green, base jumping. She did it again in 2002, and her PR people assured the world that it was because she was overworked, and totally not because she was having psychological problems, which, of course, means she was likely losing her shit. Her PR people apparently come from the school of thought where they think the best way to divert attention from something is to call attention to it. If she had publicly crapped her pants, they would have said she changed her pants due to exhaustion, not because she shat herself on stage.

Selena Gomez

As bad as I would love to rip on her, I will take it easy on Ms. Gomez. First off, she’s just a kid (what is she? 15?), and I do buy that a barely-legal girl who has spent the last several years in front of a camera might actually be malnourished. It’s not like mom set her up to make the best decisions, seeing as how her mom stuck her with freaking Barney when she was 10. That type of thing leads to all kinds of “different” behavior, like dating other girls. Kudos to her mom for being open minded, though. I’m sure Justin will one day make Selena a great wife. Just get the kid a damn cheeseburger.

Women be travellin’ in this trailer for Monte Carlo, in which a gaggle of girls go on a European vacation gone awry until one of them (Gomez, the ethnic-looking one) gets mistaken for royalty, at which point their trip becomes FAB-U-LOUS!

There’s also a really big lobster featured here, which was the high point of the trailer for me.

Universal has picked up the bestselling book 13 Reasons Why by Jay Asher, as a vehicle for Gomez. Writer Jennifer O’Kieffe will adapt the book about a girl who committed suicide, then gives cassette tapes to 13 different girls explaining their role in her death. It’s a guilt trip from beyond the grave. If that were me, I’d start by recording something serious about getting cyber-bullied, the break into ghost noises and loud farts. And that, Universal Pictures, is why you should hire me to do the punch-up draft. (Deadline)

– roses are red, violets are blue, @selenagomez if you’l break @justinbieber’s heart I’m gonna kill you :3
– @selenagomez I’ll kill you I swear on GOD!!!!
– @selenagomez If you are the Girlfriend of Justin I will Kill you I HATE YOU :@ !!!
– @selenagomez whore cancer whore..like i’mm kill myself cuz i saw you and Justin kissing well thankyou Selena thankyou now i’m killing myself
– @selenagomez stay away from Justin pedophile, retard wait i’m gonna kill ya in the night underneath your smelly bed

I personally think they took it too far when they called her out on her smelly bed. At least they didn’t reference a traditional Mexican dish when describing the stench.