Given our love of movies and our love of strippers, it makes sense that we’re big fans of putting the two things together. Like chocolate and peanut butter, movies and strippers are a natural fit. That’s why we spent the past eight months compiling this list of the sexiest cinematic strippers of all time. God bless these girls. And god bless you, dear reader. Your page views pay my salary, which in turn pays for my stripper habit. I owe you.

Elizabeth Berkley – Showgirls (1995)

A lot of people would have placed this film further down on the list. But damn it, I’m not playing that game. The “so bad it’s good” card can only take you so far. And the truth is, it’s not bad enough to warrant the ironic praise it gets. Even so, Elizabeth Berkley on the pole is not hard to watch.

Julie Andrews – Darling Lili (1970)

I bet you weren’t expecting to see Maria from The Sound of Music on this list. Well, too bad. She played at burlesque dancer in Darling Lili, and burlesque dancer is just another way of saying stripper. If you freeze frame the strip scene, you can actually see her nipples. Something tells me you’re not impressed by that. Well neither was her costar, Rock Hudson.

Gillian Jacobs – choke (2008)

If you think Gillian Jacobs is great on “Community,” you’ll love her in Choke. I’m basing that entirely off the fact that she shows her cans. It has nothing to do with her performance.

Kobe Tai – Very Bad Things (1998)

Granted, a dead stripper isn’t the sexiest thing in the world, but when it’s pornstar Kobe Tai, it’s still pretty hot. And she’s not dead for the whole film, so that’s a plus.

Umm… Salma Hayek? Voicing a cartoon?? That means Salma Hayek was sought out for her acting and not her attributes. This. Makes. No. Sense. What is going on today? Help me though this confusion! Dogs are cats!! Food doesn’t taste right!!!! (Deadline)

The Savages is about two California potheads (Aaron Johnson and Taylor Kitsch), whose communal girl-pool Ophelia (Lively) gets kidnapped by a badass Mexican drug cartel, forcing the two top dealers to work for them. And that’s why you shouldn’t do drugs, you guys. Cause bad guys played by Salma Hayek and Benicio Del Toro will come after you and the hot girl you share with your pal. You’ve been warned.

The Savages begins production this July. (Deadline)

When I was told to write an article about sexy female movie characters in pigtails, I thought it was going to be a walk in the park. After all, I have Google, so how hard could it be? I was sure I’d be able to easily pull up countless examples of hot women in film wearing the Lolita-like hairstyle. Turns out I was only half right. While it was easy to find hundreds, if not thousands of pics, it was like pulling teeth to find those that weren’t “adult” in nature. I’m not saying that there aren’t a lot of examples in mainstream movies, but searching for them is damn near impossible because all of the search results are overwhelmed by porn. I suppose that at the end of the day, sifting through a bunch of porn stars in pigtails in search of hot mainstream actresses is at the low end of the annoyance scale. But it was a challenging endeavor, none the less.

If you have a great example I left off, leave it in the comment section, and I’ll add it on our honorable mention list. Otherwise, enjoy 15 sexy movie characters sporting pigtails.

Jennifer Schwalbach Smith as Missy – Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001)

Jennifer Schwalbach (now Jennifer Schwalbach Smith) isn’t really that hot by Hollywood standards. She’s not bad looking by any means, and I’m sure she wouldn’t give my ugly ass the time of day. But the fact remains that if she wasn’t banging Kevin Smith, she probably wouldn’t have been in this film. That being said, when you throw a semi-attractive woman in a black-leather bodysuit and put her in pigtails, it instantly ups her hotness level.

Marcy Rylan as Winnie – Bring It On: All or Nothing (2006)

I’m not going to lie to you and pretend I actually saw this film. In fact, before today, I had never heard of Marcy Rylan. But while sifting through a sea of barley-legal girls in pigtails, I came across this photo, and I was so happy to have found something mainstream that she instantly made the list. As an added bonus, she’s hot.

Anna Faris as Shelley Darlingson – The House Bunny (2008)

In the house bunny, Anna Faris plays a Playboy Playmate who is kicked out of the mansion and forced to live in the real world. Fortunately for her, the “real world” turns out to be a sorority house in desperate need of a makeover. Fortunately for us, she dresses like a slut and wears pigtails.

“Filmmakers expected to participate so far include Sylvain Chomet (The Triplets of Belleville), John Stevenson (Kung Fu Panda), Marjane Satrapi (Persepolis), Chris Landreth (Oscar-winning short Ryan), Tomm Moore (The Secret of Kells), Nina Paley (Sita Sings the Blues), Bill Plympton (Guard Dog and Your Face) and Kunio Kato (Oscar winning short Tsumiki no ie).”

And there’s going to be more names added in the future. So clearly, Hayek has her work cut out for her, especially since it’s her production company Ventanarosa Productions who’s one of the movie’s producers, and it isn’t known if Hayek will be appearing in the movie in any way.

A little about the book: It’s one of the most popular books in the world, selling more than 100 million copies since its original publication in 1923. I’ve already started reading it so I have something to talk about when I meet Salma Hayek. (via Deadline)

Not to worry though, Kusturica is already seeking a replacement to star opposite the still-attached Salma Hayek. with plans to meet with Benicio Del Toro and Gael Garcia Bernal. Bernal seems very confident that he’ll win the role, having been quoted recently as saying, “I will probably land the leading role because of physical resemblance with Pancho Villa” and “I believe Emir is the only director who can do the Pancho Villa story. Even better than any Mexican director. You know why? Because he is a kind of Pancho Villa in his own right.”

“Besides, did you see The Wolfman? Ay dios mio,” I added while talking in a Gael Garcia Bernal voice. (via The Playlist)

Salma Hayek and her breasts are being eyed for the female lead in an upcoming Kevin James film, Collider is reporting in a very sad tone. In the untitled film, which will no doubt be called Large Naturals Vol. 37,  audiences will see Kevin James play a teacher who starts moonlighting as…get this…an MMA fighter! Hilarious! It’s funny cause he’s fat! Talk about a fish out of water. It’s a ridiculous concept…not as ridiculous as Kevin James getting paid millions of dollars to star in a comedy, but ridiculous all the same.

Grown Ups
PG-13, 98min., 2010
Cast: Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Chris Rock, David Spade, Rob Schiender, Salma Hayek, Maria Bello, Maya Rudolph, Colin Quinn, Tim Meadows and Steve Buscemi
Directed by Dennis Dugean
Screenplay Adam Sandler and Fred Wolf
 
Throughout the 98 minutes of Grown Ups your brain keeps nudging you to just repeat these words: “It’s no surprise, because it’s an Adam Sandler movie.”
 
Here we have a full-fledged cast of comedians from Sandler, to Kevin James, Chris Rock, David Spade, and yes, even the forever slave to Sandler movies, Rob Schneider counts as a comic, telling no jokes and just delivering kick to the balls or pie in the face moments.
 
It’s no surprise because it’s an Adam Sandler movie.

MORE AFTER THE JUMP…

 
Even real actresses like Salma Hayek, Maria Bello, and Maya Rudolph are given very little to do other than speak a line every 10 minutes and then have breast milk shoot at them or have toilet paper get stuck to their butts.
 
It’s no surprise because it’s an Adam Sandler movie.
 
Cameos by SNL cast members Colin Quinn, Tim Meadows and even Steve Buscemi offer little help to punch up the material, though Meadows and Rock get into a quick scuffle, providing one of the movies only few good laughs. Which is what people want from a Sandler movie: a good laugh here and there, but here it’s just a bunch of endless dick and fart jokes.
 
It’s no surprise because it’s an Adam Sandler movie.
 
The movie looks very expensive from all of the extras and large set pieces – from a New Hampshire lake house to a mammoth-sized water park and a huge 4th of July picnic at the end. The movie was just an excuse to go on vacation and get paid at the same time for Sandler and his crew.
 
It’s no surprise because it’s an Adam Sandler… Time Out. Stop this madness.
 
Why has Sandle taken the money and run? We’ve seen Sandler make unapologetic critic-proof movies since the the mid-90s, but somewhere when his movies started to make money–throwing the middle finger at Big Daddy–they’ve become some of the most blandest and forgettable comedy movies of the past decade.
 
Not including Punch Drunk-Love, Reign Over Me, or Funny People, which all may be another excuse for him to go back and make these kind of money burning movies.
 
Kids growing up back in the mid-90s of the Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore days could quote Sandler left and right, “Stop staring at me swwwan”, “Sooo hot want to touch the hiney, ouwww!” It was stupid but funny. Now, I can’t think of one line from Click, I Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, or even 50 First Dates worth shouting at my friends at an inappropriate time. 
 
By the end of Grown Ups, your brain is hurting from repeating these excuses, you’ve realized that you have officially ‘grown up’ from these “kind of comedies," yet all you want to do is run out of the theater like a scared little kid.

Grade: D-

Salma Heyek is always a hot babe you can see at the movies whether its art house period drama Frida where she sports a unibrow, or action packed thrill ride Desperado. She can flex her drama and comedic talent with her two other well known assets. She’ll be seen next as Adam Sandler’s wife in the vacation reunion comedy Grown Ups. Kate Beckinsale in Click and now Salma. Lucky bastard…

A word from Salma: “I think it’s not a femme fatale when someone is not doing it to manipulate men or be like a black widow. She loves him. She does it out of love. She wants him so badly to stay with her.”

Who in God’s name is running away from you?! He should be dragged through the streets and beaten. And then I will slowly move in as his replacement.

More of Salma’s finer things after the jump.

DreamWorks has released the first promotional still for Puss in Boots, the planned spin-off/prequel of the Shrek films. The studio also unveiled a new website for the film, which is scheduled for release in November of 2011.

In the film, Antonio Banderas reprises his role as Puss, the smooth-talking cat adventurer. He is joined by Zach Galifianakis, who will play Humpty Dumpty, and Salma Hayek, who will play Kitty, a street-savvy cat with eight enormous, tan-colored breasts, each more beautiful than the last. (Collider)

^{Rock and Spade watching playback.}

Last summer, Adam Sandler decided he wanted to take a New England vacation with his buddies and stare at Salma Hayek’s cans all day. A film crew tagged along and now we have Grown Ups.

The film assumes the very believable premise of five guys who were childhood friends but haven’t seen one another since they were twelve years old, so they decide to get to know one another again thirty years later. This isn’t very different from the teaser we already saw. They just made more room for pee jokes. The movie opens June 25th and stars SNL’s cast circa 1992 with the notable busty additions of Salma and Kevin James.

Watch Kevin James make a sissy after the jump.

Grown Ups — Trailer – Watch more Movie Trailers

I’m only writing this up because I wanted to search for pictures of Salma Hayek and Carla Gugino. Let’s just take a moment to look at the above side-by-side.

Don’t rush me!

Alright. Gugino is replacing Hayek in the role she bailed on back in January in the revenge thriller Faster. Dwayne "I’m Still Calling Him The Rock" Johnson plays an ex-con on a mission to avenge his brother’s murder. A DEADLY mission. Conflict abound! Gugino will play the detective hot on his trail, looking to pin a decade-old case on the people’s eyebrow. Hopefully The Rock will pin Carla to a decade-old headboard. Right before they do it sexually on a slightly vintage bedframe. Musty smells turn me on. (Variety)

_{We’re making money right now. Hahahaha!}

Adam Sandler and the rest of his friends are starring in the movie Grown Ups, adapted from a Dockers commercial. I’m sure a lot will get lost in translation though, like the humor, so we’ll have to watch a bunch of formerly hilarious comedians fishing instead of personable model-types. In all honesty though, why the hell wouldn’t this group make this movie? They’re guaranteed sh*tloads of benjamins, and they get to hang out, laugh, and swing from ropes all day.

Sure, Chris Farley is throwing a tantrum in heaven over the sight of Kevin James playing a role clearly intended for him, but I think we all know digitally placing him in the film wouldn’t have worked out any better.

The ground breaking concept of Grown Ups is about five good friends reuniting for a Fourth of July holiday weekend thirty years after thei high school graduation. No, it’s not The Big Chill. I know, but no.

Check out the teaser trailer after the jump.

Grown Ups Teaser Trailer – Watch more Funny Videos