Never one to let a wacky foreign caricature slip through his fingers, Cohen is moving ahead with a film called The Lesbian. At this point, it’s not known if Cohen would play the eccentric billionaire, a potential suitor, or the lesbian at the center of the plot. I’m going to rule out Cohen in the lesbian role right now. Stripping away his ability to expose his penis would take away a third of his schtick. (Deadline)

Also peace-outtying the production is Quentin Tarantino’s Death Proof star Kurt Russell. An anonymous source claims they witnessed Russell storm off set apparantly unhappy with his role. However, if that was his standard practice how do you explain all of those Kurt Russell movies? Luckily, Walton Goggins is on set to lend a hand.

Goggins, who plays a different evil son of a bitch in the film, will absorb the evil deeds that Russell’s son of a bitch was slated to commit. Thanks for being a team player, Walton. (Cinema Blend)

Eminem at VMAs

Sacha Baron Cohen is no stranger to commandeering awards shows for his public pranks. While promoting Bruno at the 2009 MTV Movie Awards, Cohen soared high above the crowd wearing angel wings and a thong. When his high-wire harness malfunctioned, he fell into the audience. Upside down, his balls landed directly on Slim Shady’s chin. The angry rapper pushed the comedian off of him and stormed out of the ampitheatre.

It was revealed to be a stunt devised with Eminem‘s full participation after Baron Cohen wasn’t later found in the trunk of a car at the bottom of Lake Michigan.

Bruno Interviews Ron Paul

In disguise as the flamboyant television host Bruno, Baron Cohen sat down for an interview with then Presidential candidate Ron Paul. Rather than discussing Paul‘s economic ideas, Bruno tries to seduce the Gentleman from Texas into making a sex tape with him. Even going so far as to drop trou in front of him. Paul storms out of the room shouting, “This guy is a queer!” At first Paul thought he was just acting European.

Based on the trailer for The Dictator, it was a fear that Sacha Baron Cohen was going for something a little less-cerebral than he did with Borat and Bruno. It seemed as though the film was relying a little too hard on caemos and pop-culture references to compete with Cohen’s earlier faux-docs.

It’s still pretty funny, but not what we know to be “Sacha Baron Cohen” funny. Take a look.

While this may sound like a pretty stupid thing to occur, let alone for us to read and learn about, this “controversy” is just one of a handful of “controversies” that have taken place during the Academy Awards. I keep putting quotes around “controversy” because something controversial that takes place during a damn awards ceremony isn’t really a controversy. In fact, it isn’t really anything.

But because I suckle on the botox-ed, turgid tit of the entertainment industry, I give you six other Oscar controversies that really don’t amount to a hill of beans to anyone but a select group of silly people.

Jane Fonda Throws Up A Black Panther Salute

In 1970, Jane Fonda received her first Oscar nod for They Shoot Horses, Don’t They?, a film that follows one woman as she ascertains whether horses are being shot (That’s almost certainly untrue). Getting out of her limo, making her way to the red carpet, she threw up a Black Panther salute, much to the chagrin of most every non-Black Panther in attendance.

She made up for it by having her acceptance speech translated into sign language when she won ten years later. Which is nice, so long as the signing is real. See below to understand that enigmatic half-riddle.

The Streaker

Robert Opel was able to score a Wikipedia entry for himself by running across the 1974 Academy Awards stage naked, or “streaking” as the kids my father’s age called it. The act was done while David Niven was introducing Elizabeth Taylor. Unfazed, Niven offered, “Well, ladies and gentlemen, that was almost bound to happen… But isn’t it fascinating to think that probably the only laugh that man will ever get in his life is by stripping off and showing his shortcomings?”

Simpler times, people. Simpler, wiener-filled times.

It’s been rumored that Cohen was going to appear at the Oscars in full Dictator garb to promote his upcoming movie. Or just to be funny. Well, the Academy is having none of it. This ceremony, which lost its first director and host because someone called someone else a fag, will not suffer any indignities.

This night will not be mired in Muppets, humor, or irreverence. If the audience wants to have fun, they can clap for pictures of dead people, like they always do.

Additionally, some are complaining about the content of this trailer, calling it unimpressive and unfunny with its Kardashian jokes and repeated gibberish gag. But I urge you to keep in mind that this is probably one for the middle states. The actual film is likely rife with edgy, inventive humor. This is just the way of tricking “those people” into the theater. If I’m wrong, I should also remind you that a woman shatters bricks with her breasts in this movie. That earns the ticket of admission price right there.

Cohen would play Scotty, a gambler that buys Django‘s wife for companionship. The way Tarantino works, I can’t imagine that things will work out too well for ole’ Scotty. Well, no better than they did for Zed or the Gimp in Pulp Fiction, anyway.

This move would add Cohen to a cast which features Jamie Foxx, Cristoph Waltz, Leonardo DiCaprio, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Kurt Russell, Michael Kenneth Williams (Omar comin’!), Don Johnson, and RZA. What a fun bunch!

Coming out next for the comedian-going-straighter is Martin Scorsese‘s Hugo, then The Dictator, which is supposedly in the vein of Borat and Bruno. Way to expand your horizons, funnyboy.

Sometimes that job is made very, very easy, such as the case with Lord Monckton.

In case you think he doesn’t deserve the treatment, you’re really wrong. He does. Monckton serves as the Independent Party‘s head of research, offering up such gems as “the Hitler Youth started off as liberals,” “climate change is a myth,” and “AIDS sufferers should live on an island somewhere.” He also has really buggy eyes that freak the hell out of me, but that’s not really his fault, so we’ll table that one.

Insisting that someone this over the top and ridiculous can only be a Borat-type manifestation, The Hamster Wheel takes this premise and runs with it, even interviewing Monckton as though he was a character.

Nice and nicely done, Hamster Wheel.

10 photosMegan Fox

Ok, Reilly probably didn’t make the cut due to his looks, but he’s developed the comedic chops to join forces with the Borat juggernaut. Fox, on the other hand, has just begun wetting her beak in comedy with Friends with Kids and Judd Apatow‘s This Is Forty.

It’s not known whether the stars will play themselves or the extent to which they will be featured in The Dictator, but a little Megan Fox is better than no Megan Fox. Ditto for Reilly, as he will no doubt play a great befuddled foil to most anything Cohen has up his sleeve. (THR)

7 photosAnna Faris

In the picture, Cohen looks like he could easily pass as a member of Chromeo. Give him a keytar and he could probably put on a private concert for the president of the fan club and they wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. The comedian stars in dual roles in the Larry Charles-directed film which co-stars Anna Faris. One as a goat herder and the other as a deposed leader who get lost in America. I’m going to venture to guess this is not a still of the goat herder. Unless they give out medals for that now. In which case, oopsie. (Huffington Post)

Faris has been offered the lead female part in The Dictator: an organic food store owner who meets Cohen’s ruthless dictator as he wanders around New York City. Who better than a hot girl Cohen’s character totally likes to tell him that his dictator ideas might not be so cool? A handful of boobage helps the messages go down. That was the original lyric in Mary Poppins, but they changed it for some reason.

The Dictator will be directed by Larry Charles, and Paramount‘s film is looking to invade theaters May 11, 2012. (Deadline)

In the film, Baron Cohen stars in dual roles. One, as a heroic dictator who risks life and limb to ensure that democracy never comes to the country he rules over with an iron fist. The other, a goat herder. His Hugo Cabret bro (HuBRO CaBRO?) Ben Kingsley will play a Middle Eastern character who “factors into the plot.” Oh good. I’d be really let down if his character didn’t belong in the film. It would be weird if he were reading lines from the wrong script. Especially if that script were A Sound Of Thunder. Man, how can be knighted after appearing in so many turds??

Anna Faris, Kristen Wiig and “Community” star Gillian Jacobs are all vying for the female lead. Wiig is doing so with awkward line readings and tiny plastic hands. However, Cohen and his producers are still looking around, so a three-way cat fight between them might be for naught. Well, you might be able to sell the DVD of the fight itself, at least.

Meanwhile, Jason Mantzoukas “The League“) is in negotiations to play the sidekick to Cohen’s lead. Apparently his ability to improvise, or “generate top-of-the-head make-’em-ups,” as theater people call it, is highly valued for this loosely scripted movie. The plot is described as “the heroic story of a dictator who risked his life to ensure that democracy would never come to the country he so lovingly oppressed.” I’m sure Paramount is just wondering how big the merchandising potential will be, and whether or not we see a penis swinging around on-screen, up close.

Larry Charles (Borat, Bruno), an important member of the Cohen Crew, returns to direct.

One of those unlucky Super Hell projects is the remake of 1947′s The Secret Life of Walter Mitty starring Danny Kaye. Over the years, Fox’s proposed reboot has collected more comedian interest than a hot asian girl at a stand-up club wearing a tight Ghostbusters t-shirt. Jim Carrey, Owen Wilson, Mike Myers, Will Ferrell and Sacha Baron Cohen have all circled around the title role at one point. Now add Ben Stiller to the list.

After writer Steve Conrad penned a completely new version of the remake script, Stiller expressed interest. With Stiller on-board, Fox will scramble for a “cinematic director,” hoping to get the cameras rolling this Fall. Walter Mitty is based on a famous James Thurber short story about a mild-mannered daydreamer who imagines himself in heroic situations. I suspect this new version will contain more fart jokes in those daydreams than in any previous adaptation. (Deadline)

Paramount also officially locked-in the release date of Martin Scorsese‘s upcoming 3D blockbuster Hugo Cabret as November 23, 2011. Scorsese in 3D sounds intriguing, as does the cast, which includes Ben Kingsley, Sacha Baron Cohen, Jude Law and Christopher Lee. Hopefully, Cobra doesn’t do anything to muck up Hugo Cabret‘s Thanksgiving release. (Hollywood Reporter)

Anyway, it looks like I’ll be strapping those goddamn goggles to my head even sooner than I thought, thanks to a deal with Paramount. Now the movie is going to be shown on Thanksgiving, so you can drag all of your relatives to a midnight showing.

Hugo Cabret has Asa Butterfield as the Hugo, an orphaned boy living in a Parisian train station. It also stars Chloe Moretz, Ben Kingsley, Sacha Baron Cohen, Jude Law, Christopher Lee, Emily Mortimer, Michael Stuhlbarg and Ray Winstone, all fine people to share a Thanksgiving meal with. (via CinemaBlend)

“The film tells the heroic story of a dictator who risked his life to ensure that democracy would never come to the country he so lovingly oppressed. It is inspired by the best selling novel, Zabibah and The King, by Saddam Hussein.”

OK, so apparently Saddam Hussein wrote a romance novel, which is now (loosely, I resume) serving as an inspiration to a comedy by Larry Charles and Sacha Baron Cohen. So a novel written by a dictator that is not about a dictator is being loosely adapted into a movie about a dictator called The Dictator. Wow. I wonder if Saddam will get a story credit. (Deadline)

The Freddie Mercury bio is just one of two Queen films in pre-development. The other is We Will Rock You, a “jukebox musical” featuring the songs of Queen. Sounds like Cohen would be a welcome addition to that project as well, albeit in a more Bruno/Borat fashion.

Cohen is widely considered to be an inspired choice both in terms of appearance, and a penchant for showmanship. The role of Freddie Mercury will require a particularly fearless actor, and Cohen has shown through his groundbreaking comedy that he fits the bill. Further, Freddie Mercury costumes will seem downright modest when compared to the garb Cohen often finds himself wearing.

Despite Mercury being such a huge star in his era, later generations know very little of the influential rocker/showman. Consequently, this film could be viewed as essential viewing to anyone with a fondness for pop music over the past 30 years, which, let’s face it, is pretty much everyone. (/Film)

In Spain, there is a successful film series called Torrente. Created by and starring comedian Santiago Segura, the films center around a fat, racist, corrupt cop who is fired from the force but continues to work the beat regardless. Man, the culture in Spain is so different from what I’m used to. In America, we don’t fire our cops for any of the above.

We also don’t have successful films that revolve around unlikable characters (except for the Pirates Of The Caribbean movies). New Line is eager to bring Torrente stateside, and they’re trying to line up Sacha Baron Cohen for the role. He hasn’t signed on for a fat suit yet, but has taken a few meetings. Hopefully, this comes to pass. I’m ready for more gross out humor from Cohen, and can see him diving into this role. Fingers crossed. Also, why didn’t anyone tell me Spanish cinema is so awesome? We’re gonna have to work on us, dudes. (LA Times)

With another Thanksgiving upon us, it’s the perfect time to reflect and take stock of the things for which we are truly grateful. I’m thankful for my friends, my family, and for the fact that Billy Predson, who tormented me all through middle school, recently went to prison for dealing meth. I’m also thankful that my girlfriend won’t mind if I gawk at Anne Hathaway in Love and Other Drugs, which premieres tomorrow.

In the film, Jake Gyllenhaal plays a traveling Viagra salesman whose life of one-night stands is threatened when he falls in love. The filmmakers are probably hoping that the comedic “boner-pill” aspects of the film will cause men to let their guard down and willingly see this obvious chick flick. This inspired me to come up with a list of on-screen erections. It’s a dirty job, but someone has to do it. At least that’s what my editor said in a threatening tone.

Tomcats (2001)
Since you’re supposed to save the best for last, I suppose we should start with the worst. And you can’t get any worse than Tomcats. Staring Jerry O’Connell and Jake Busey, this crapfest received zero stars from film critic Roger Ebert. That probably has something to do with the scene where a man ends up eating a human testicle. Or maybe it’s due to the fact that the entire movie, from start to finish, is dogsh*t. Unfortunately, it does have a memorable scene involving erections, so it makes this list.

The Little Mermaid (1989)
Much like the inside of my pants, finding an erection in a non-porn film is difficult. This is true, unless you’re the type of person who reads way too much into things. If that’s the case, look no further than Disney’s The Little Mermaid. The film has not one, but two possible boner shots, if you’re the type of person who wants to see boners. Considering you’re reading this list, I’ll assume that’s the case. Sicko.

Freddy Got Fingered (2001)
We said the list was about erections in cinema. We didn’t say they had to be human erections. At any rate, this next scene Tom Green’s Freddy Got Fingered is not safe for work, unless you work at a stud farm or your boss is cool with horse dick. I’m a farmer, daddy!

Caligula (1979)
If it’s erections you’re looking for, there’s no shortage of them in the 1979 film Caligula. However, there is a “shortening” of erections, by way of some brutal castration scenes. At any rate, we’re sure producer Bob Guccione would be proud to see his film on our list… if he wasn’t busy rotting in hell.

Anatomy Of Hell (2005)
If you’ve got porn star Rocco Siffredi in your film, chances are there’s going to be an erection. And his 2005 film, Anatomy of Hell, is no exception. While the film is unique in that it isn’t a porno, it is European, so same difference.

The Brown Bunny (2003)
Ever wanted to see Chloë Sevigny give a blowy? Then The Brown Bunny is the film for you. Of course, you’ll also have to see Vincent Gallo’s erect penis, so it’s definitely a trade off.

Road Trip (2002)
In a classic scene from the not-quite-a-classic film, Road Trip, actor Edmund Lyndeck plays Barry’s Grandpa, an elderly man who recently discovered the wonders of Viagra. However, he’s a little out of practice when it comes to dealing with erections, and he ends up knocking over a figurine. When chastised by his wife, he immediately replies, “What do you want me to do, cut it off?” Well put.

Private Parts (1997)
While attending a film premiere with B-movie star Brittany Fairchild, the actress begins rubbing Howard’s leg, which leads to the inevitable. She later convinces Howard to join her for a bath, but to leave his underwear on so he won’t be “cheating” on his wife. Again, it’s only a matter of time before trouble pops up.

Bruno (2009)
It’s one thing for a film to portray an erection in someone’s pants. It’s quite another to show an actual erect penis. But even this wasn’t enough for Sacha Baron Cohen. Not only did his 2009 film Bruno contain god knows how many cock shots, but one such erection actually had a line in the film. Yep, a talking boner. We’ve come to this.

The 40 Year Old Virgin (2005)
The exact opposite of Tomcats, The 40 Year Old Virgin manages to deal with vulgar topics without disgusting its audience. That probably has something to do with the fact that people can relate and sympathize with the characters. Then again, being an Internet writer, it’s easy to sympathize with an old virgin. At any rate, watch the boner scene below, and then click on some ads, you ungrateful punk.

Hopefully the third time’s a charm for director Larry Charles and Sacha Baron Cohen. Actually, the first two times have already proven to be quite charming, as they consisted of Borat and Bruno. Even so, here’s hoping for a three-peat.

The pair are teaming up again for The Dictator, a film written by Cohen as well as Alec Berg, Jeff  Schaffer and David Mandel of “Curb Your Enthusiasm.” Cohen will play both a goat herder and a deposed foreign dictator traveling across the U.S. Will the film pack as many laughs as Borat, or perhaps as many ball-sacks as Bruno? Only time will tell. (24 Frames via Collider)

Sacha Baron Cohen has signed on to play Queen front man Freddie Mercury in an upcoming biopic, Deadline is reporting. The film will be written by Peter Morgan (Frost/Nixon, The Queen), and will be financed by GK Films, in conjunction with several other companies including Queen Films, which is made up of the surviving members of Queen. Production will begin in 2011.

Will Cohen be able to pull off the flamboyantly gay showman that was Freddie Mercury? Considering his character of Brüno makes Mercury look like Pat Robinson, I’m assuming he’ll do just fine. In fact, if my understanding of Mercury is accurate, it will be a lot like the Brüno movie, except instead of being Austrian he’ll be British, and instead of having a happy ending he’ll die of AIDS. Basically Brüno meets Philadelphia.

_{In his version of 3D, audiences walk out with a black eye.}

Martin Scorsese‘s next project is a 3D adaptation of Brian Selznick’s novel The Invention of Hugo Cabret. The director has been quoted in the past saying that he doesn’t like 3D just for 3D’s sake, meaning stuff flying at your face is bunk, but it seems Scorsese has quickly changed his tune. According to his longtime editor Thelma Schoonmaker, who recently spoke to a masterclass at Aruba International Film Festival, Scorsese is all about getting up in your face with his film now:

“Scorsese is in love with [3D]. He looked at Avatar and Alice [in Wonderland] and Scorsese didn’t feel that the 3D he saw was as interesting as in the old ones like Dial M for Murder and House of Wax. He’s decided he wants to be stronger with 3D to make it jump out at you. He’s going to go a little bit further with it.”

Daaaaaaaamn, Marty. You dissed Cameron and Burton in one fell swoop. Actually your editor did by proxy, so maybe you should consider putting a muzzle on her.

The Invention of Hugo Cabret is written by John Logan (Gladiator, Aviator) and stars Ben Kingsley, Sacha Baron Cohen, Asa Butterfield, and Chloe Moretz. It’s Scorsese’s first foray into 3D, and he’s extremely excited about molding the technology to his very specific stylings. I’m personally jazzed to see this one on December 9th of next year. Even though it’s a family film, I’ve read the book and can confirm that if you possess a soul you’re guaranteed a whimsical good time. If you don’t have a soul, you can proceed with killing helpless small animals in your mother’s garden. (/Film)

Director: Martin Scorsese

Cast: Chloe Moretz, Ben Kingsley, Sacha Baron Cohen, Asa Butterfield

Synopsis: Concerns a 12-year-old orphan who lives in the walls of a Paris train station in 1930 and a mystery involving the boy, his late father and a robot.

Release Date: December 9, 2011

Paramount has won the rights to Sacha Baron Cohen‘s next comedy film after sending goats to the actor and his reps. That’s right. Goats. They also gave him $20 million against 20% of the first-dollar gross. Which means he could stand to earn.. umm…. uh…. carry the one…consult with Clippy…. uh…. a lot of money. So that helped to seal the deal too.

The film will star Cohen in a dual role, playing two characters we’ve yet to see. One is a goat herder and the other a deposed dictator who gets stuck in America. But back to the goats. Deadline reports, "visitors to WME were greeted by a goat wandering across the 3rd floor atrium — that is, until Ari Emanuel had the goat removed after it took a dump in the hallway."

No fair. Brett Ratner dumps in that hallway all the time and he’s still allowed to make deals.

Martin Scorsese has been busy casting his adaptation of the children’s fantasy tale The Invention of Hugo Cabret. Sacha Baron Cohen and Ben Kingsley are in talks to sign on as a train station investigator and famed silent filmmaker George Méliès respectively. Asa Butterfield (The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas) has been hired to portray the lead character, who lives in the walls of a Paris train station while trying to repair his dead father’s robotic invention. Up and comer Chloe Moretz is also signed on for the female lead role of Isabelle. Man, between Kick-Ass and Let Me In, 13-year old Chloe Moretz is soooo hot right now. Like, really really hot. I didn’t mean it like that, guys. Oh, come on. *sigh* Alright. I’ll go warn my neighbors about me. (Deadline)

Columbia Pictures is getting serious about a second sequel to Men in Black by tossing some names of weirdos into the ring. It’s believed that Josh Brolin is on board for the third film and now there are reports that they want either Brüno‘s Sacha Baron Cohen or Conchord Jemaine Clement for a character named "Yaz."

It’s not known at this time if the character will be an alien or an agent (though wouldn’t he be named after a letter were he an agent?). Both actors excel at weird, broad comedic performances and would be a perfect fit in the MiB universe. Though I’m not sure about Cohen. They already did the Ballchinian thing in part two. (Bloody Disgusting)

_{He’s oozing sense of humor.}

James Cameron has weighed in on the decision to cancel a Sacha Baron Cohen Avatar skit from Sunday’s Oscars in order to spare the director’s feelings. He tells E!:

"I don’t know anything about that … I don’t produce the Oscars. If they want to poke fun at Avatar‘ Sunday, that’s okay by me."

Show co-producer Bill Mechanic denies the allegations and comments:

"It was a little too MTV for everyone."

Oh right. This year’s Oscars are about respect and gravitas and not fun party vibes. I forgot about that. I guess that means awards DJ Joel Madden won’t be playing Diddy’s "I’ll Be Missing You" over the celebrity death montage. (Vulture)
 

At one point, Sacha Baron Cohen was being considered to host this year’s Oscars but was deemed too unpredictable to get the gig. Now we have word that he’s also been dropped as a presenter for fear that he might offend James Cameron.

Cohen’s plan was to take the stage dressed as a pregnant Na’vi who would accost the director Maury Povich-style about the bun he had squirted into her oven. Show co-producer Bill Mechanic knows Cameron pretty well and vetoed the sketch because he was worried the director would be incensed enough to walk out on live television.

What’s the big deal? It’s a goofy sketch for an awards show produced by a guy who knows the lyrics to Miley Cyrus songs. Why take it so seriously? It’s not like Cohen was going to position his taint on Cameron’s chin. Bill Mechanic must really think so little of James Cameron. You hear that, Cameron? Bill Mechanic intimated that you’re a bitch. FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! (Vulture)