I’m not afraid to tackle the one question on no one’s mind.
He’s such a butterfingers.
Well played, Kardashians. Well played.
Highlights included a seven-foot-tall armadillo, a fat guy who looked like a live-action version of Cleveland Brown’s son, and a girl in a Viking outfit (or maybe it was Hermes, but honestly, who cares).
Milwaukee native and former Idol contestant Danny Gokey was on hand to give false hope to delusional contestants. And if you’re looking for delusional people, a Rustbelt city like Milwaukee does not disappoint.
If I’m going to be forced to watch, I might as well make some predictions. If any of them come true, I’ll look like a genius. If not, no one will give a damn. So here’s my timeline of what you’ll see during tonight’s broadcast.