Nicholas Winding Refn‘s followup, Only God Forgives, was received with boos at Cannes by the very same people who smelled his farts last time around. I should just say this isn’t me rubbing anything in anyone’s face because a) I’m allowed to like what I like and you’re allowed to like what you like, and b) I haven’t seen Only God Forgives and can’t effectively critique it. But Jeffrey Wells from Hollywood Elsewhere can. Awesomely.

“Movies really don’t get much worse than Nicholas Winding Refn‘s ‘Only God Forgives’,” [Jeffrey Wells] writes. “It’s a sh*t macho fantasy – hyper violent, ethically repulsive, sad, nonsensical, deathly dull, snail-paced, idiotic, possibly woman-hating, visually suffocating, pretentious.

“I realize I sound like Rex Reed on one of his rants, but trust me, please – this is a defecation by an over-praised, over-indulged director who thinks anything he cr*ps out is worthy of your time. I felt violated, sh*t upon, sedated, narcotized, appalled and bored stiff.”

That formula worked for Drive and it looks like Refn’s hoping lightning will strike twice with Only God Forgives. Here, Gosling runs an underground boxing club in Bangkok and becomes mixed up with local gangsters. An obvious continuation of the stylistic language established in Drive, this trailer is all mood, violence, and neon. And thankfully, very little of Gosling speaking in his cartoon attempt at a Brooklyn accent.

All in all, it looks like it could be a compelling film. Much more effective now that they’ve changed the name from Stuff Hanging From Ryan Gosling’s Mouth.

Warner Bros is scrambling to figure out the logistics of reshooting, but have come to the realization that the release date will need to push back, possibly until 2013.

One date the studio is looking at is Jan. 11. Before making a final decision, though, the studio is currently looking at several factors, according to sources, such as how quickly the cast can be reassembled for the reshoot, concerns about cast availibility to do press in January and the competition on the calendar. The only other release currently scheduled for Jan. 11 is Paramount’s Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters, starring Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton. [THR]

“Gee, thanks.” – African Americans.

Gosling’s most romantic movies will be available for viewing for the entire month. Which means any fans looking to curl up with their Valentine or single girls who wanna get some practice in, can have The Notebook, Lars and the Real Girl, Drive, The Ides of March, Crazy Stupid Love, Remember the Titans, Murder By Numbers, and Fracture.

That’s all well and good for people not irritated by goofy, bizarrely overdone fake Brooklyn accents, but what does it leave for the rest of us? Here’s a rundown of the On-Demand channels we want to see in 2012.

Tim & Eric

We need a channel dedicated to the ludicrous insanity of Tim Heidecker & Eric  Wareheim at all times of the day. Sure, their Billion Dollar Movie is available On-Demand right now, but we want every episode. Spaghett. Poop-Tube. Oh my God. Spaghett using the Poop-Tube (in HD). A channel of only Tim & Eric would be much appreciated and more calming than watching fish in aquariums.

Emma Watson

This one probably wouldn’t be considered the most legal of channels, but you can’t argue that it would be wonderful. I’m imagining it done in the style of The Truman Show. We watch Emma Watson go through her daily life. Driving a car, doing dishes, running in slow motion with the wind softly blowing her hair just off her shoulder, noticing a camera lens in her bedroom smoke detector… It could really add some drama during Sweeps Week.

Cars Eating Other Cars

Everyone knows that monsters and dinosaurs don’t actually exist, so hoping to have a full-time channel devoted to them is pretty much a foolish pipe dream. However, we can so totally have a channel devoted to robotic monsters that lift cars in their iron jaws and crunch them to pieces. We have that technology now! Why it isn’t being used to fight terror, is beyond me.

Something needs to be done here and I feel like it should fall on the shoulders of Drive star Ryan Gosling. He needs to address his crazed fans and let them know that hot dog tossing will not abide. There are rules in society and when those rules are not followed, it all falls down. Seriously. Somebody could end up with mustard on their shirt. (Santa Rosa Press Democrat)

Sarah Deming has filed a lawsuit against FilmDistrict claiming that the distributors, “promoted the film Drive as very similar to the Fast and Furious, or similar, series of movies.”

“Drive bore very little similarity to a chase, or race action film… having very little driving in the motion picture,” the suit continues. “Drive was a motion picture that substantially contained extreme gratuitous defamatory dehumanizing racism directed against members of the Jewish faith, and thereby promoted criminal violence against members of the Jewish faith.

I love that the Antisemitism (which isn’t really in the movie) was an afterthought. The cars not going VROOM loud enough or driving on top of trains was what really ticked her off. God help me, if she wins this lawsuit, I’m suing every movie for not being enough like The Fast and the Furious. Films exempt from my litigious wrath include The Fast and the Furious and its sequels, as well as Torque. (Click on Detroit)

Cast: Ryan Gosling, Carey Mulligan, Bryan Cranston

Synopsis: A Hollywood stunt performer who moonlights as a wheelman discovers that a contract has been put on him after a heist gone wrong.

Release Date: September 16, 2011

‘Crazy Stupid Love’ Looks Neither Crazy Nor Stupid

Right away the humor speaks to really important issues. Cal (Steve Carell) refuses to talk when his wife Emily (Julianne Moore) asks for a divorce. It’s funny when he rolls out of a moving car, but he’s also really avoiding something with which he needs to deal. Then we meet Jacob (Ryan Gosling) picking up babes in a bar. His swagger is good enough but not so great that I’m jealous of his lines. That’s Mr. Notebook for you. And he still eats pizza, even with his Adonis body.

6 photosEmma Stone

Jacob takes an interest in Cal out of sympathy. It’s Swingers meets Training Day when he shows Cal the ropes. The clubs are almost too loud to hear the dialogue, so the film is honest about even its locations. When Cal tries what Jacob taught him, it is too mean. That’s real. I did that. You learn The Mystery Method but if it’s not natural then you’re just insulting someone. The Hollywood twist is that he wins over Kate (Marisa Tomei) by being himself.

The story involves the whole family. Cal and Emily’s son Robbie (Jonah Bobo) gets to be funny, starring down Emily’s new boyfriend David Lindhagen (Kevin Bacon.) Cal really talks to Robbie, and to Emily. I really love Jessica (Analeigh Tipton). This poor teenage babysitter is struggling to express herself but she’s so genuine and sweet. She makes some scandalous choices but it’s innocent and real. She’s also 13-year-old Robbie’s dream girl, and we’ve all been there.

There’s some real filmmaking going on in this too. Cal’s evolution with the ladies is shown in a tracking shot where Cal appears at a different table with different women without ever cutting. That’s an artistically sound use of visual effects. Directors Glenn Ficarra and John Requa let a door open on Jessica and the light overexposes her. The love scene lighting is beautiful with a gentle camera.

Dan Fogelman’s screenplay knows when to shift focus, giving one thread a moment to simmer. After a blowout between Cal and Emily, Hannah (Emma Stone) finds her way to Jacob and it’s their story for a while. The ensemble intermingles organically. Funny dialogue still has emotional ramifications. The film never takes the easy way out with a misunderstanding fueling some empty doubletalk. Misunderstandings just bring the forces together but the film plays fair. They’re even smart about the rain cliché.

There is a moment where the wisdom of a child provokes a big speech from the parent, but they earned it. There’s still no easy fix. I can’t believe a studio film allowed so much ambiguity. Most of all, Robbie’s graduation gift is so daring I can’t believe Warner Brothers allowed it. I mean, it could seem inappropriate but not once you’ve spent time with these characters.

See A Romantic New Clip From 'Drive'

This trailer, fortunately, has done nothing to make my level of anticipation decrease. There are some cool automotive stunts, and glimpses at the aforementioned stars, along with Christina Hendricks, Bryan Cranston, and Ron Perlman. I can’t wait to drive (my Segway) to my local theater to watch Drive!

“I think one of the problems maybe has been, and I’ve never been in the other meetings, is they’ve been trying to remake the original film which is impossible because it’s already dated,” Refn said at a Comic-Con interview for Drive. “How do you remake something dated about the future which is much more advanced?”

Drive star Ryan Gosling is on board too, which also makes it more awesome than the average remake. First he’s going to star in Refn’s Only God Forgives. “When I have the script that I’m happy with, that Ryan’s happy with, that Warner’s is happy with…” Refn said about getting started on Logan’s Run.

The great approach Drive took to the familiar criminal doublecross story was that it’s just so silent. The characters don’t explain everything, they just do it. That might be a smart way to approach a sci-fi movie, in an age where every franchise is full of expository backstory.

“That’s the big trick,” Refn agreed. “Sometimes overexplaining it is actually what makes it more complicated.”

It sounds like Refn is going to fight for it though. He acknowledged the studio’s needs above, but he’s passionate about getting this movie made. “I’ve always been obsessed with the film ever since I was little. When they called and asked if I was interested, my answer was just yes, yes, yes, yes.”

“Pic follows around a pro motorcycle rider (Gosling) who starts robbing banks to support his newborn son — until he crosses paths with a determined young cop (Cooper). Liotta will play a fierce, crooked officer on the force.”

7 photosAnna Friel

J. Lo has signed on to a film that will make The Wedding Planner look like Fight Club. She will be appearing in the film adaptation of What to Expect When You’re Expecting, playing “a woman who adopts a baby from abroad with her husband after difficulty conceiving.” She will join Cameron Diaz in this project which will likely serve as the death rattle of their being viewed as sex objects.

Ryan Gosling and Nicolas Winding Refn, ignoring suggestions and demands to “get a room already,” will instead be working on their fourth film together. (The others were Drive, an untitled upcoming rom-com, and Logan’s Run.) Gosling will be stepping into the lead role previously occupied by Luke Evans in Only God Forgives, an Asian crime drama. (Variety)

Snow White and the Huntsman keeps its casting machine going by picking up both Lily Cole and Sam Spruell. Cole will play a character only identified as “Greta,” while Spruell will play a henchman sent to dispatch both Snow White and her huntsman friend. (Variety)

Ben Barnes, previously best-known as Prince Caspian in the Narnia films, will be again diving into the world of the fantastic in The Seventh Son. Barnes will star as Tom, after talks with Sam Clafin fell apart. (Variety)

Ryan Gosling and director Nicolas Winding Refn have worked together on this fall’s Drive, and it was such a good experience that they never, ever want to work apart again.

Or so it would seem.

After Drive, it had been announced that Refn was moving on to Only God Forgives, but today they spilled that they are planning on teaming up yet another time for a romantic comedy (that they’re trying to talk Drive co-star Albert Brooks in to writing). This is in addition to their collaboration on Logan’s Run.

‘Crazy Stupid Love’ Looks Neither Crazy Nor Stupid

Refn said that the newest project will be “a romantic comedy set in New York, which seems like a great place to start.” It sure does. They have lots of buildings there. Before we get too far down the path of Ryan Gosling: Rom-Com Star, let’s hold out for Gosling’s turn in the summer’s eagerly anticipated comedy Crazy, Stupid, Love. Between Crazy, Drive, The Gangster Squad, Logan’s Run, and the two aforementioned projects, Gosling should have his work schedule for the next few years all set. Must be nice.

6 photosDon’t Look At These New ‘Drive’ Photos If You’re Driving

MGM says that if Gosling is still available in the future, and the project hasn’t yet lifted-off, he could return to the director’s chair. (Deadline)

You also get to see Bryan Cranston in action as Gosling’s mechanic boss (note: don’t get excited, that doesn’t say “mechanical boss”), which is nice, especially if you’re a fan of”Breaking Bad.” Not much badassery in this clip, but I still have hope for the overall badassity of the movie as a whole. (Vulture)

Gosling’s next feature is the promising romantic comedy Crazy, Stupid, Love, with Steve Carell, which hits theaters July 29th.

No more of this Half-Nelson, Blue Valentine bullshit. Bring on the unnecessary remakes and comic book films for this guy! (Deadline)

Now, for all of you not driving, you’ll notice that these photos have our first look at Albert Brooks, Christina Hendricks, Ron Perlman, and Bryan Cranston in the movie, in addition to star Ryan Gosling. So if you previously were unaware of what they looked like, you’re welcome. (The Playlist)

Cianfrance has offered the role of a rookie cop to Bradley Cooper. If he accepts, he’ll portray the nemesis to Ryan Gosling’s motorcycle pro/bank robber character. After crossing paths during a robbery, their confrontation spirals into a generational feud. Wait. Hold up. Ryan Gosling is playing a motorcycle pro who is also a bank robber? I’d expect that from Taylor Lautner, but Gosling? All right, I guess. Sounds believable (?) (Variety)

Well, judging from this clip from Driven, which you can watch here, Nicolas Winding Refn is doing his part to bring back the cool car chase movie. And it has reasons to get excited in front of the camera, too: Drive stars Ryan Gosling, along with Carey Mulligan, Albert Brooks, Bryan Cranston, Christina Hendricks and Ron Perlman. So, even if this clip was terrible, I’d still be there. It isn’t terrible though.

He’s in talks to play Mickey Cohen in Ruben Fleischer‘s Tales From The Gangster Squad. Playing a former boxer who got mobbed up and started leaving dead bodies in his wake, Penn will be hunted by police officers played by Josh Brolin and Ryan Gosling.

Because when you think of a tough as nails detective you think of Ryan Gosling. He looks like he should be doing commercials for children’s cough medicine, not getting into gun fights with Bugsy Siegel. (Deadline)

With Depp playing Tonto, the stoic Native American sidekick, one would presume that Gosling would be in talks to play the titular hero. But The Wrap warns that he is already committed to Logan’s Run which should take a fair amount of his time, as well as steal the thunder from any other franchise roles he may have kicking about. (Like this one. If you don’t think Disney will run The Lone Ranger franchise into the ground with sequel after sequel, then you, my friend, aren’t familiar with Pirates of the Caribbean. The film, not the actual pirates.)

The Lone Ranger is scheduled to hit theaters in 2014, so if the Mayans are right, we’ll all be dead in 2012, so this whole article, as well as many others on this site, is completely moot.

The new ensemble romantic comedy Crazy Stupid Love has a shiny new trailer, and it looks better than the usual crop of mid-to-upper level romcoms. Steve Carell heads a top notch cast including Julianne Moore, Ryan Gosling, Emma Stone, Kevin Bacon, and Marisa Tomei. The film appears to be about a recently divorced/separated man (Carrel) who gets a bit of a “Hitch” treatment from younger, suaver, and all around alpha-er male Ryan Gosling. Oh, and then Emma Stone shows up and I got all distracted and couldn’t focus on anything else that happens. It’s directed by Bad Santa duo Glenn Ficarra and John Requa and comes out July 29th.

The one farthest along is Gangster Squad. Set to be directed by Zombieland‘s Ruben Fleischer. They key role here is the “gangster” of the title, Mickey Cohen, which the studio wants to be played by Sean Penn. Cohen’s a juicy part too, a charismatic gangster who was both a shameless publicity hound (he participated in a LIFE magazine profile) and a violent criminal. Ryan Gosling is also being sought as a cop who tries to bring Cohen to justice.

The other project is called Cicero, which is about the infamous Al Capone’s years as a youngster – material that’s already been covered in part on the HBO series”Boardwalk Empire.” This one is reportedly the object of David Yates‘ interest, who would be looking for a “rebound project” after the last Harry Potter movie is finished. From boy wizards to Al Capone – I guess it’s no less likely than the career path of Zack Snyder. (via Deadline)

The Resident Evil series is coming back to the big screen with a fifth installment on September 14, 2012. Sony and the Umbrella Corporation have made big profits killing zombies time and again. Actually, the last outing/slaughtering – Resident Evil: Afterlife – outgrossed all the previous sequels with $200 million dollars worldwide. So: more money, more zombies, more sequels, more problems for the last remaining regumans (regular humans).

Meanwhile, on the other end of the culture spectrum, handsome, suit-wearing gentleman George Clooney will see his Howard Dean inspired election film Ides of March open October 14 of this year. Clooney is co-writing, directing and starring with a cast that includes Ryan Gosling, Paul Giamatti and Evan Rachel Wood. There will be zombies in this one too, but the metaphorical “political” zombies of greed and power that’ll eat the brains of a young idealist politician. (/Film)

Clooney co-wrote, directs and stars in – get ready to use your “shocked” face for a moment – a politically themed movie based loosely on Howard Dean. Originally a play by Beau Willimon, Ides of March is about an idealistic press secretary (Ryan Gosling) who falls victim to the big, bad Washington machine. At one point, Gosling is literally captured and eaten by a giant machine wearing an Uncle Sam hat. But not really.

The cast is impressive. Besides Clooney and Gosling, the film also stars Paul Giamatti, Jeffrey Wright, Marisa Tomei and Evan Rachel Wood. They’re eyeing/idesing a December 2011 – January 2012 release. (/Film)