He’ll play Johnny, a new, smooth-talking gambler character created by both Robert Rodriguez and Frank Miller for the film adaptation. Originally written for Johnny Depp, there’s no word whether or not the character will be renamed Joseph. It’s safe to say, however, that the character now won’t be expected to wear anything silly on his head. (THR)

Robert Rodriguez is putting together a sequel to 2010‘s Machete, titled Machete Kills, with the hopes to begin filming in April. Deals are being worked out now to see Danny Trejo return as the gut-spilling avenger. Just whose guts will Machete use as a climbing rope this time? Well, in the sequel he is recruited by the U.S. Government for a mission only he can accomplish. A Mexican cartel leader has teamed with a billionaire who intends to destroy the Earth with a weapon in space. He’s just like James Bond but pockmarked.

Does that mean Machete is headed to space? Eventually. Machete Kills is actually the second film in a planned trilogy – or Trejology. The final film in the series will be titled Machete Kills Again… in Space. Now that’s film-making. (Deadline)

Coming Soon reports that Rodriguez said to the crowd “Both sequels have been greenlit.” He has divulged that the second installment will be titled Machete Kills, while the third entry will offer the much more descriptive Machete Kills Again…In Space!

I don’t want to rush to judgement, but I feel that the third one might run a little campy. Rodriguez also offered that the space installment will feature “space babes” and lightsabers. Of course they will.

7 photosJessica Alba

That’s right. Spy Kids 4D will finally teach the world what Joel McHale actually smells like. Using Aromascope technology, viewers will be given a card with eight distinct smells on it. They will then be prompted at key moments in the story to run their finger across certain segments of the card and then smell it. This is great news for me. I’m sick and tired of getting dirty looks for smelling my finger when I take a date to the movies.

Spy Kids 4: All The Time In The World stars Alba, Joel McHale and Jeremy Piven, all of whom are collecting nice paychecks, I’m sure. Here’s a synopsis:

On the surface, Marissa Cortez Wilson (Jessica Alba) has it all…married to a famous spy hunting television reporter, a new baby and intelligent twin step kids. But in reality, trying to mother Rebecca (Rowan Blanchard) and Cecil (Mason Cook), who clearly don’t want her around, is her toughest challenge yet. Also, her husband, Wilbur (Joel McHale), wouldn’t know a spy if he lived with one which is exactly the case – Marissa’s a retired secret agent.

These problems are very relatable to me, a single mom, but with a layer of fantasy my kids will enjoy I am intrigued.

Marissa’s world is turned upside down when the maniacal Timekeeper (Jeremy Piven) threatens to take over the planet and she’s called back into action by the head of OSS, home of the greatest spies and where the now-defunct Spy Kids division was created. With Armageddon quickly approaching, Rebecca and Cecil are thrust into action when they learn their boring stepmom was once a top agent and now the world’s most competitive ten year olds are forced to put their bickering aside and rely on their wits. With a little help from a couple of very familiar Spy Kids, Carmen (Alexa Vega) and Juni Cortez (Daryl Sabara), and some mind-blowing gadgets, they just may be able to save the world and possibly bring their family together while they’re at it.

Oh good. For a minute there, I was worried the old Spy Kids were completely out of the picture. Glad there’s some continuity there, but that brings us to the main question: will Sharkboy and Lavagirl make an appearance? I’m gonna hold my breath until I find out. Or, y’know… I won’t do that. (ComingSoon.net)

The retirement community horror thriller, The Home, is headed into production this summer and Rodriguez confirms she’ll probably take a part, revealing that her involvement is “more likely than not.”

A Murderer’s Row of old codgers — Brian Cox, Cloris Leachman, Ed Asner — have been rumored to be attached to the film but no official confirmations have been announced yet. The Home tells the story of an assisted living facility where the residents are terrorized by supernatural forces. The events are dismissed as the ramblings of elderly minds until an injured firefighter moves into the home and witnesses them firsthand.

Robert Rodriguez is producing the script written by movie blogger Eric Vespe. Wow. Really? There’s hope for me yet. Time to put the finishing touches on my spec script about outer space ninjas rising up against a Galactus-like eater of worlds. I promise there’s a role for Danny Trejo. (The Playlist)

I watched the whole thing, and other than an insatiable desire to buy Nike sneakers, I think it’s a pretty cool little movie. Kobe Bryant is pretty funny in his scenes with Robert Rodriguez and he does a good job pretending to be a basketball player. My one complaint would be that Kanye West is far too babyfaced to play a super-villain. Look at him, he’s adorable! (via io9)

Bryant will star in a short film by director Robert Rodriguez, which will screen at select theaters ahead of PG-13 and R-Rated movies. This is not the first time the Laker star has expressed his inner Bryant. He played a basketball player on “Moesha” and tackled the equally challenging role of himself on “All That.” To up the acting credibility of the cast, SAG Lifetime Achievement Award winner Kanye West joins as a character known as “The Boss.” Here’s a plot description:

“[It's] basically a pitch session between Kobe and director Robert Rodriguez for a collaborative project that’s seemingly an action movie.”

Mr. Bryant, I hope you are ready for your second career adequately portraying basketball players in movies, when you are not playing actual basketball. (Hollywood Reporter)

Fans of blade-based violence and racially-insensitive humor have reason to celebrate. In an interview with Dread Central, actor Danny Trejo claimed that a Machete sequel, Machete Kills, was definitely in the works, and that director Robert Rodriguez has already written the script.

“I asked Robert Rodriguez when he was going to write Machete Kills, and he said (in his words), ‘It’s wrote,’” Trejo told the website.”Sin City 2 might have been pushed back behin Machete Kills. [laughs] Nobody cares about Mickey Rourke… [laughs].”

Trejo also dismissed criticism of Machete’s use of racially-insensitive humor.

“We did it as entertainment. What I loved was the sense of humor in it, in everything. So we kind of laughed at everybody, and that was what I loved about the movie.”

Added Trejo, “There has to be a sense of humor in everything otherwise… let’s do a documentary on prison.”

I don’t know if I agree. After all, it wasn’t really a documentary, but HBO’s prison drama, “Oz,” was pretty funny; like that episode where they fed the old Italian guy shards of glass. See, there’s humor in everything!

Fans who are still hoping for a Sin City sequel have new reason to be optimistic. Director Robert Rodriguez has stated that he is ready to start on the film…right after he finishes Spy Kids 4, proving once again that it’s always darkest before the dawn.

While Rodriguez is notorious for promising projects that don’t materialize, the fact that the director mentioned a specific time frame for the film is a good sign. However, the fact that he’s willing to hold off on Sin City 2 so he can go d**k around on another crappy CGI-heavy kids movie is not a good sign. (Cinema Blend)

Joel McHale is in final talks to star opposite Jessica Alba in Robert Rodriguez’s Spy Kids 4. In the sequel, Alba would play a retired spy married to McHale, a spy-hunting reporter. When a nefarious villain returns on the scene, Alba is pulled back into the business. And she takes her stepkids along for the ride.

No word yet on the youngsters that will carry the picture, but if I were the little boy I’d get a jump on the spying by placing webcams in Alba’s dressing room. I work method. (Variety)

Last week, Screen Junkies and Break scored some sweet, sweet hangin’ time with Machete stars Danny Trejo and Michelle Rodriguez, and director Robert Rodriguez, at an international press junket. FX guru and filmmaker Freddie W. put together a scene that starts out simple enough with everyone taking some bad-ass pics for the cameras, but then quickly takes a dark turn once Michelle’s strength is brought into question. In my opinion, this is the way all press junkets should end. Although, I’m sure the hotel staff would vehemently disagree.

Check out the video below…

Michelle Rodriguez’s Machete Fail – Watch more Funny Videos

Machete
R, 105 min., 2010
Cast: Danny Trejo, Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, Jeff Fahey, Cheech Marin with Don Johnson, Lindsay Lohan, Steven Seagal, and Robert DeNiro
Directed by Robert Rodriguez and Ethan Maniquis
Screenplay by Robert Rodriguez and Alvero Rodriguez

While Machete is one hilarious, madcap, blood-filled pinata party, it’s also one of the most politically charged action movies to come along this year.

The iconic big screen bad-ass Danny Trejo gets his much needed day in the sun at Machete, an ex- Mexican cop turned Texas day laborer who finds himself in the middle of the battle between borders, with double crossing politicians, vigilantes, cops, and cartels. All the while he’s becoming another legendary folk hero from the endless mind of Robert Rodriguez and the Troublemaker studio family.

Machete is joined by a cast that can slap and slice the face off of The Expendables – they can be labeled  like Sergio Leone‘s The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.  The Good: the ultimate female revolution fighter from a taco truck Luz/She (Michelle Rodriguez in another one of her kick butt and still look sexy performances), INS agent sexpot Santana (Jessica Alba), and Priest (Cheech Marin showing up in his best Rodriguez movie cameo to date). The Bad: evil vigilante Texan Lt. Stillman (Don Johnson, at his sleazy cigar slinging best, carrying echoes of Henry Fonda’s villainous performance in Once Upon a Time in the West), racist tea bagger Senator McLaughlin (Robert DeNiro having fun as the guy you love to hate), scheming political assistant Booth (Jeff Fahey making us wonder why he isn’t cast in more movies as a screen villain), and Mexican drug lord Torrez (Steven Seagal taking everything so seriously and with hilarious end results). And The Ugly: drugged up bad girl turned religious savior April (Lindsay Lohan always down to satirize her own persona) and the famous worn and pockmarked face of Danny Trejo as Machete.

All these wacky characters and more face off in a blood-filled cannon of showdowns and confetti that will you have kicking, wincing, howling, whistling, and clapping for more.

Rodriguez, sharing his writer/director/cinematographer/editor/score chair with co-director Ethan Maniquis, script writer Alveno Rodriguez, editor Rebecca Rodriguez, and cinematographer Jimmy Lindsey. It’s a block party of filmmakers that bring a lot of energy and color to the creative table, creating an environment that is part grindhouse fun and part family affair.

As the idea of Machete came out of Rodriguez’s head 15 years ago during Desperado, we now see another possible tough character actor, Michelle Rodriguez, becoming another one of his modern day folk hero characters of SHE — a legendary Mexican freedom fighter or quasi female counter part to iconic Che Guevera. You know he is onto something here when Rodriguez’s character gets the audience roar of approval next to a bland Alba applause. It’s something to look forward to in the Troublemaker future of cartoon movies.

The movie itself is more fun watching than really talking about with all its beheading and rocket-filled low riders. The first part is the most uninhibited fun, with the mixture of grindhouse type violence with political undertones that include a running gag of xenophobic political ads, not unlike something Sarah Palin would pay for.

By the time the climax hits, there are so many characters and elements played out that they all collide in a Looney Tunes-type carnival ride of guns and cars that doesn’t come to a solid conclusion. It even seems that Machete is lost at times in the battle between characters and screen time.
Yet Rodriguez and crew give us a something to chew on as we face a time of terrible racism and actions, all the while punching it with one-of-a-kind performances and action moments.

Grade: B +

If this new red band trailer for Machete doesn’t convince you to see the film this Friday then I’m afraid there’s nothing more I can do. My goodness gracious, the violence. It exploits more head trauma than Break fail video. Have you ever seen a man’s head get cut off and then split in half before it even hits the ground? Well now you can mark that morbid desire off of your bucket list.

Check out the trailer after the jump…

Heads Will Roll In Ne Machete Redband- NSFW! – Watch more horror

(BloodyDisgusting)

In my life, I’ve been lucky enough to see some pretty amazing things. In grade school, I watched a ki break a calculator apart and eat it, piece by piece, in exchange for about three dollars worth of change. In high school, I saw Weird Al Yankovic perform twice. And in college, I finally saw a boob. But all of that pales in comparison to what you’re about to witness.

This new extended clip (courtesy of IGN) proves that Machete is the greatest achievement in cinema history, if not human history. Not only does it contain the now famous "intestine scene" from previous trailers, but it also features hot nurses, someone getting shot in the head, and, to top it all off, an anal sex joke. Keep in mind, the clip is less than four minutes long. Just imagine what goes on in the rest of the film. All hail Machete! (Dread Central)

Watch the greatest achievement in cinema history after the jump…

I’ve been working on the script with my co-writer, Jeff Rendell, who plays the pilgrim in the trailer. And it’s me imitating Jeff’s voice [for the narration]. But Jeff has been working. I said that his deal is he has to work on the script while I’m promoting The Last Exorcism, and as soon as I’m done in mid-September he’s going to fly to California, we’re going to sit down, and bang out the script.

I guess it shouldn’t be surprising that most of these trailers are being turned into features. Hollywood is already scraping the bottom of the barrel with adaptations of friggen boardgames. Thanksgiving looks like Citizen Kane in comparison. (Cinema Blend)

^{The ecstasy at the 2006 MTV Movie Awards was off the hook.}

Robert Rodriguez has found time in his busy schedule of crap-he’ll-never-get-around-to-directing to make room for Deadpool. The LA Times reports that he and 20th Century Fox have begun negotiations. I like to imagine a sleep-deprived Rodriguez propped up Weekend At Bernie‘s style while they hash out the percentage points. No deal has been worked out as of right now, but we’ll let you know when an assistant pushes their hand through Rodriguez’s sleeve to sign the papers.

I guess this is exciting news. Rodriguez always has an interesting approach to filmmaking, and I’d much rather see him at the helm than someone like Jonathan Mostow. Besides, this is our best chance to see Cheech Marin play Deadpool.

Did I just see what I think I …? Did he just..? Wow. The red band trailer for Machete is now online and we’re gonna need a redder band for this. It’s got blood, guts, boobs, Seagal, and at unstoppable Mexican on the loose. Robert Rodriguez has trul taken the leash off Danny Trejo this time around. If I were Jeff Fahey, I’d be going the bathroom on myself right now. More than usual.

WATCH THE REDDEST RED BAND THAT EVER RED BANDED AFTER THE JUMP…

The new Machete trailer has slashed its way onto the Internetz. We last saw an "illegal" trailer released on Cinco de Mayo which got me amped, but this new one makes me want to punch a cinder block just so I can feel like a man. It’s like producer Robert Rodriquez and director Ethan Maniquis took all the things that zip through a male’s brain on a daily basis and cramed them into one movie with Jeff Fahey. Not that I don’t like Jeff Fahey, I just can’t say he’s on my mind that often. At least you’ll never get me to admit it here…

Machete rips theaters a new asshole Labor Day Weekend, September 3rd.

Check out the trailer after the jump.

_{Sí se puede…make an awesome Lego trailer.}

Outside of Hobo with a Shotgun, Machete might be the greatest trailer ever made. But even the best wasn’t good enough for filmmaker David Vann, who decided to improve upon perfection by doing a scene-for-scene remake of the trailer using Legos. Needless to say, it’s awesome. Even in Lego form, Danny Trejo is a terrifying man. (CinemaBlend)

Watch the Lego version of Machete after the jump.

Robert Rodriguez wants to make Sin City 2. Fans want to see Sin City 2. Studios and theater owners want to make money off of Sin City 2? So what the hell’s the hold up on Sin City 2?

Apparently, Rodriguez just hasn’t been able to find the time for a followup. After all, Spy Kids 4 and The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl aren’t going to make themselves.

But now comes word that Rodriguez has finally started a much needed rewrite to the Sin City 2 script, and the director is still very excited about the project. With any luck, fans will be seeing violent, on-screen castrations before the end of the decade. (Cinema Blend)

The new Predators red band international trailer is here, and you know what that means: blood! How refreshing. I wish I lived in international instead of the United States. In international, they don’t kowtow to fat housewives and Methodist ministers when it comes to on-screen violence.

At any rate, if you’re as excited at I am about the Predators movie, I’d like to invite you to join my cool new club, the Pred-o-philes! To join, head over to your local police station and tell the officer on duty that you want to register as a Pred-o-phile, and he’ll take care of all the necessary paperwork.

Don’t forget to tell ‘em Jame sent you! 

Watch the Predators red band trailer below.

Predators International Trailer – Watch more Funny Videos

Sweet mother of us all! This Predator’s scary vagina mouth is the most horrifying thing I’ve seen since Love Actually.

In this newly released photo from the upcoming Robert Rodriguez-produced film, one of the Predators displays his fangs in an all-out attempt to cause Danny Trejo’s character to poop his pants. I’m assuming it didn’t work, since Danny Trejo is the most menacing thing in the galaxy. Even so, it’s pretty bad ass.

See more freaky Predators pics after the jump.

(/Film)

For Cinco de Mayo, Robert Rodriguez dropped a package off at the home of his AICN homies, and it turned out to be the "illegal" trailer for Machete hidden underneath a pound of tamales. Alright, I’m not certain about the tamales, but it’s how I deliver all of MY packages.

If you enjoyed the fake trailer for Machete attached to Grindhouse, you won’t be dissappointed by the trailer for the movie made from the trailer. It features a Mexican-hating Robert DeNiro, a Robert DeNiro hating Mexican Danny Trejo, a gun-licking nun Lindsay Lohan, Steven Seagal, and Jessica Alba with a perm. Also, Soothsayer Rodriguez managed to tap into a controversy that’s bubbling over in Arizona at this very moment, and he predicted that sh*t months ago! Way to make the zeitgiest your bitch, Robert.

Check out the trailer below. Machete slashes into theaters September 3, 2010.

Illega Machete Trailer – Watch more Funny Videos

_{Let’s get this barbeque f*ckin’ started.}

This Labor Day, make room for Machete amongst your ice cold beers and charred hot dogs. The Robert Rodriguez produced film based off the trailer from Grindhouse will hit theaters September 3.

Machete stars Danny Trejo as a blade-wielding Mexican ex-Federale who is double-crossed by a crooked politician. If for some loco reason blade-wielding Mexican’s aren’t your cup of horchata, keep in mind that Jessica Alba is playing twins in the film. Yes, that’s right, Rodriguez DOES listen to your prayers at night, and he has answered them. Who else did you think you were appealing to? (Variety)

Here we have a second featurette for Predators focusing more on interview footage with director Nimrod Antal and producer Andy Capp. The video doesn’t show much footage beyond what we’ve seen in the trailer and previous featurette, but it does show what the film would look like with German subtitles. So there’s that.

Rodriguez and Antal come off as genuine fans of the franchise while talking a bit about the importance of creating characters and not overdoing the CGI. That should set those let down by AvP at ease. For those who weren’t let down by AvP, there also promises to be a sword fight between a samurai and a Predator. Oscar-caliber performers and gimmicky fight scenes. Something for everyone.

Check out the featurette after the jump.

_{Brody faces off with a Predator disco ball.}

Now you all can finally see what those lucky f*cks at SXSW saw last Saturday. I’m considering being on board for this new Predators installment, but I can’t yet fully commit. I have to first suspend my disbelief that Adrian Brody can play a mercenary (isn’t that nose a hazard in the field?), and that Lawrence Fishburne can’t stop a Predator cold in its tracks by simply shooting it the stink-eye. Here’s your context from IGN: 

Brody plays Royce, a mercenary who reluctantly leads a group of elite warriors who come to realize they’ve been brought together on an alien planet… as prey. With the exception of a disgraced physician, they are all cold-blooded killers – mercenaries, Yakuza, convicts, death squad members – human "predators" that are now being systemically hunted and eliminated by a new breed of alie Predators.

Yakuza and death squad members finally working together. And they say progress isn’t being made in the world. Isn’t that right, Walton Goggins?

Walton: "Who’s your daddy now?!"

Man, I hope his character dies in the first act…

Check out the trailer after the jump. Predators rips theaters a new asshole July 7.

Opening night of the South by Southwest film festival featured a preview of footage from Predators. Austin local Robert Rodriguez brought a teaser trailer and clip and spoke to the audience about the upcoming sequel. More from him and director Nimrod Antal later, but first some thoughts on the footage.

The teaser trailer, which Rodriguez said was likely to release with Repo Men, got the tone of the original Arnold movie right. It’s all shots of the human characters getting stalked. The camera pushes in on their faces as they turn around to face their unseen (for now) attacker. There are a few hints of familiar creature features, and a brief money shot, but it’s all buildup.

Check out the teaser and more after the jump.

Predators is set on an alien planet, which seems to mostly consist of jungle. It harkens back to the jungle of Predator though it’s not an Earth jungle, and it has a few spaceship-like corridors and windy, sandy shots to indicate a vast planetary biosphere. The predators set some cool traps for the humans as some of the cast go up in nets. They even show a kill. (Spoiler alert: Walt Goggins doesn’t make it.)

The footage totally riled up the audience, and rightfully so. It’s the perfect tease, full of potential to come this July. To me, it’s not the second coming. I’m not THAT hard on Predator 2 and I actually thought the second AVP was exactly what a monster mashup movie should have been.

Predators still has the clichés of badasses, whether they’re criminal or military. I really don’t care who they are. I still want an all monster film, but as long as there’s good action, it’ll be fine. It looks like they know what they’re doing.

Rodriguez and Antal talked about the importance of having real actors do these movies, that playing fear and tension is a crafted skill. The one full scene they showed demonstrated that. Adrian Brody leads his team in the jungle, all looking effectively stalked. When Fishburne, presumably a veteran predator escapee, shows up, he looks like he can handle his sh*t.

The emphasis is on the elements of the original Predator. It was all about the hunt, the stalk. That’s what they’ve gone back to, instead of inner city gang wars or underground pyramids. If that’s what you’re into, it’s not so much about the big reveal, which you know they’re going to have cool predators. The message tonight was this is the first Predator sequel done in the style of the original.

Check out a sneak peak of the footage at the Predators official site.

In an article about Robert Rodriguez’s production slate, Empire mentions a small bit about Steven Seagal’s difficulty on the set of Machete. Apparently Seagal insisted that he be cooled by a giant air conditioner at all times which now have to be digitally removed from the footage.

Classic Seagal. Just look at these pre-treated stills from his past films.

(The Playlist)

Sensory overload. Not enough blood in my brain as I write this post. Has traveled to my…elsewhere. In a recent interview with MTV, Jessica Alba revealed she’ll be playing identical twins in Robert Rodriguez’s Grindhouse spinoff, Machete. One of them will be bad, one of them will good, and both of them will look like Jessica Alba. I’d suggest that the two Albas kiss in the film but I’m fairly certain such an event would signal the apocalypse. In all honesty, what more would we have to live for? Check out Alba’s interview below.