Screen Junkies » robert pattinson http://www.screenjunkies.com Movie Reviews & TV Show Reviews Thu, 25 Sep 2014 02:02:38 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 ‘The Rover’ Trailer Takes Us Down Under With Robert Pattinson http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/the-rover-trailer-takes-us-down-under-with-robert-pattinson/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/the-rover-trailer-takes-us-down-under-with-robert-pattinson/#comments Thu, 17 Apr 2014 22:54:06 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=video&p=261125 It's a story of revenge in dysopian Australia. And no, it's not 'Mad Max'.

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Robert Pattinson, if for no other reasons than his Twilight involvement and relationship with noted twitchy sourpuss Kristen Stewart, should be a pretty hatable guy. Unfortunately, he seems kind of cool, and recently, he’s been making some pretty damn good movies when he should just be coasting on more YA fare.

In this trailer for The Rover, he plays half a duo (the other half being actual Aussie Guy Pearce) who set out on the men who wronged them in a very bleak and brown Australian countryside. That might be the same thing as the “outback,” but I would feel really foolish if I used “outback” wrong, so we’ll just say it’s a non-urban Australian location to play it safe.

 

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Vampires And Werewolves Fight Colonial Ghosts Or Something In ‘Breaking Dawn – Part II’ Trailer http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/vampires-and-werewolves-fight-colonial-ghosts-or-something-in-breaking-dawn-part-ii-trailer/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/vampires-and-werewolves-fight-colonial-ghosts-or-something-in-breaking-dawn-part-ii-trailer/#comments Mon, 10 Sep 2012 15:54:24 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=video&p=250783 The long wait pays off. After this, no more 'Twilight'.

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A longer look at last week’s trailer for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part II is now available to view and fans shou– WHAT?! Kristen Stewart just tackled a mountain lion in mid-air. Totally T-boned it, too!! I always thought these movies were about whispering and ab muscles. Had I known there would be big cat wrestling, I’d have made an effort to see them. Also of note, Robert Pattinson punches the ground and breaks it and it looks like there’s heavy amounts of karate.

All kidding aside, those things are normally very awesome. But here they just look super cheap. Don’t these movies make all the money? Any chance they could invest more into the special effects and white powder make-up on Michael Sheen? He looks like a Scooby Doo villian.

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Just Watch The New ‘Twilight’ Trailer, OK? http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/just-watch-the-new-twilight-trailer-ok/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/just-watch-the-new-twilight-trailer-ok/#comments Wed, 20 Jun 2012 17:44:38 +0000 Joseph Gibson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=video&p=249303 Just get it over with.

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Look, I don’t want to waste anyone’s time here so I’ll just make this quick. There’s a new trailer for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 has been released, and it’s full of all the cheap special effects, clumsy expository dialogue, disturbing sexual politics, and vampire-on-werewolf violence we’ve all come to expect from the franchise, either firsthand or through that annoying cultural osmosis that happens if you have a Twitter account. Starring Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, and a bunch of other people who have no humorous qualities inherent to their appearances, acting styles, or behaviors whatsoever.

So just watch it, alright? I watched it, your 13-year-old niece watched it (49 times and counting), your weird coworkers are watching it right now. You don’t want to be left out, do you? There is a cultural conversation about vampires and werewolves and possibly-vampric-babies happening and you’re going to miss all of it if you DON’T WATCH THIS TRAILER RIGHT NOW!!!

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A Guy’s Guide To ‘The Twilight Saga: New Moon’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-review/a-guys-guide-to-the-twilight-saga-new-moon/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-review/a-guys-guide-to-the-twilight-saga-new-moon/#comments Fri, 18 Nov 2011 17:32:40 +0000 Nicholas Pell http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=237009 I watched this crap so you don't have to.

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The Twilight Saga: New Moon is the totally self-important title of the second Twilight film. Here we see the further adventures of Beautiful Swan and Edward “Pedo Bear” Cullen. This is the movie where Bella experiences loss, starts seeing ghosts and hangs out with some Native American werewolf dude until her boyfriend comes back to her. We suffered so you don’t have to, gents.

Check out a Guy’s Guide to The Twilight Characters, Twilight, and The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

Summary

After the events of Twilight, Edward decides that Bella is safer without him around. This is obviously stupid, because the vampire pack that looks like the Black Eyed Peas are probably pretty pissed that their blond friend got killed in the last movie. Whatever will Bells do without the superhuman strength of a sparkly vampire to protect her?

Even though Edward leaves, Bella keeps seeing him around in ghost form. But while she waits for him to return, she does all kinds of attention-seeking nonsense, including riding a motorcycle (SO EDGY). She also gets pretty close with Jacob the werewolf boy, and he helps her build a motorcycle. Of course, she’s just killing time with Jacob until her wonderful Edward comes back.

Because Edward has a sister who can see the future very poorly, he mistakenly thinks Bella will try to kill herself. As such, he decides to kill himself by heading off to Italy and pissing off vampire royalty known as the Volturi. At the end of the movie, Bella saves Edward and the Volturi tell Edward he has to make Bella into a vampire. They both pretend like this might not happen, even though everyone who has ever seen a movie knows that it will eventually. Also, Edward pressures Bella to marry, making him unlike any man who has ever lived.

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If ‘Twilight’ Characters Were Real People (Gallery) http://www.screenjunkies.com/gallery/if-twilight-characters-were-real-people-gallery/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/gallery/if-twilight-characters-were-real-people-gallery/#comments Thu, 17 Nov 2011 20:03:00 +0000 Noah Griffith http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=gallery&p=236965 These are 100% accurate depictions of what your favorite Twilight characters would look like in real life.

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With only hours to go before The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 hits theaters, millions of young girls and probably a few very creepy old men can barely contain their excitement. Once again, fans will be thrust into the supernatural world inhabited by vampires, werewolves, and mummies (I made that last one up, but I really want to see an angst-filled teen mummy).

But sadly, much like a female orgasm, the world of Twilight is purely fiction. And while I can’t bring fans into the world of Twilight, I might just be able to bring Twilight into the real world. Using a high-powered photo-rendering program known as “Photoshop,” I created (or “shopped”) these 100% accurate depictions of what your favorite Twilight characters would look like in real life. Hopefully, in some small way, this will help fans hang on until the next installment.

Photos by Noah Griffith, Text by Jame Gumb

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PG-13 Sex And Vampire C-Sections: ‘Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1′ Is Unintentionally Awesome http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-review/pg-13-sex-and-vampire-c-sections-breaking-dawn-part-1-is-unintentional-awesome/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-review/pg-13-sex-and-vampire-c-sections-breaking-dawn-part-1-is-unintentional-awesome/#comments Thu, 17 Nov 2011 16:17:04 +0000 Screen Junkies http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=237007 I've heard of biting the umbilical cord, but this is ridiculous.

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In case you hadn’t heard, Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1 hits theaters Friday, giving awkward tween girls, unfulfilled housewives, and lonely secretaries everywhere something to do on a Friday night (besides eat ice cream and/or cry with their cats). As is usually the case with a new Twilight film, anticipation is running high. But this time, things are a little different. I’ve seen Bill Condon’s Breaking Dawn, and I’m here to tell you that—against all odds—I think you oughtta see it even if you’re not a fan.

(Check Out A Guy’s Guide To Twilight)

You’ve probably already decided that you aren’t going to see Breaking Dawn. Not only will you be missing out on one of the greatest unintentional comedies of all time, but you’ll also be depriving yourself of one of the most bat-shit-crazy 20-minute stretches of melodrama ever committed to film. Breaking Dawn’s first half is nigh unwatchable, taking a solid hour to limp through what seems to be about fifteen minutes’ worth of story. But its second half—particularly its final twenty minutes—is something you owe it to yourself to see.

It. Is. Glorious. But it’s not like that finale is the only reason you should see Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1 this weekend. Hell, I can think of at least half a dozen reasons you should go. Here they are, in no particular order. Spoilers ahead, obviously…

Shirts Are Irrelevant From Minute-One

Stephenie Meyer wants you to believe that she’s essayed a deep, thoughtful, compelling romance in the Twilight series, but the story’s so emotionally false, it’s simply impossible to take seriously. Kristen Stewart’s Bella consistently comes across as emotionally unstable, her moods swinging from one extreme to another seemingly without cause. And yet, the men in her world—be it Jacob The Werewolf-Boy or Edward The Sparkly Vampire-Lad—welcome each new swoop of the pendulum with endless patience and understanding. There’s something to be said for working through the issues you’re having with your partner, but let’s be realistic here: if any dude I know were dating Bella, he’d dump her ass after the third inexplicable meltdown (note: if Kristen Stewart were hotter, this might be a touch more believable).

Also worth noting: Condon’s camera is constantly lingering on this movie’s version of money shots—a wedding gown, expensive furniture, an absurdly ornate piece of jewelry stuck to Stewart’s head. The girls in my audience cooed at each of these shots, sometimes outright moaning. It was freaky, until I realized I was watching emo-porn for the tween girl set.

The PG-13 Sex Scene To End All PG-13 Sex Scenes

You’d think that after three films and however-much-time-has-passed in the novels, Edward and Bella’s “first time” (the word “sex” is never used here, because…I mean, my God, how filthy would that be?!) would be a bed-breaking, Earth-shattering affair. And ya know what? It is. Edward hits that like the fist of an angry God, ripping a huge chunk out of the headboard, leaving bruises all over Bella’s beautifully, uh, already-sickly-looking pale skin, and somehow destroying every pillow in the process. At least, that’s what I gathered from the onscreen evidence; it’s entirely possible that—in the same world where vampires sparkle—vampires also ejaculate feathers. I mean, Edward just decimates that ass. But this is a PG-13 movie, so we get a couple quick shots—mostly of furniture being destroyed—before the all-purpose “cut to the morning after” shot. Still, though, it’s unintentionally hilarious.

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A Guy’s Guide to ‘Twilight’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-review/a-guys-guide-to-twilight/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-review/a-guys-guide-to-twilight/#comments Wed, 16 Nov 2011 19:18:47 +0000 Nicholas Pell http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=236550 Everything you need to know to fake a conversation about the film with a girl you're trying to sleep with.

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For most guys, Twilight is about as useful as a non-vodka-soaked tampon. Although it might not seem like something you’re interested in, this article will give you just enough information about the film to fake your way though a conversation, which might help you get in a girl’s pants. Pretty sweet, right? Let’s move on.

Twilight is the first film in The Twilight Saga. It’s so OG that it doesn’t even have “The Twilight Saga” in its name, kind of like Star Wars before George Lucas decided he wanted to piss all over your childhood.

This film tells the lovely tale of how a 100-year-old dude got a 17-year-old girl he basically hates to fall in love with him while he was hanging around high school.

Check out a Guy’s Guide to The Twilight Characters, The Twilight Saga: New Moon, and The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

Summary

Bella Swan leaves Arizona so her mom can be a MILF with some dude who plays minor league baseball. When she gets to her new school, all these Mormon-faced dorks want to slip their tube steak in her. Instead, she falls in love with Edward Cullen, a 100-year-old man who looks like a teenager and treats her like shit. Edward is part of a clan of vegan vampires who sparkle in the sunlight. He’s a pretty good lesson in what women want, especially women who like stuff like Twilight.

Bella figures out that Edward is a vampire because she is apparently really smart. However, she’s not smart enough to know to avoid some dude who breaks into her bedroom and watches her sleep. While playing baseball with the Mormon Vampire Cullen family, another group of vampires who look like the Black Eyed Peas see Bella and decide to eat her. The Cullens don’t cotton to this, and kill one of them to protect her. Specifically, they kill the blond vampire who looks like that guy whose girlfriend you boned in college while he sat in the corner and cried. At any rate, Edward saves Bella’s life after the blond dude bites her, and all is well in Twilight land.

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A Gallery Of Completely Factual ‘Twilight: Breaking Dawn – Part 1′ Spoilers http://www.screenjunkies.com/gallery/a-gallery-of-completely-factual-twilight-breaking-dawn-part-1-spoilers/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/gallery/a-gallery-of-completely-factual-twilight-breaking-dawn-part-1-spoilers/#comments Tue, 15 Nov 2011 20:48:58 +0000 Screen Junkies http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=gallery&p=236616 Spoiler Alert: Bella and Edward play chess.

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Spoiler Alert: If you Twihards don’t want to know about Twilight: Breaking Dawn — Part 1, read no further. I know the movie doesn’t open until later this weeek, but damn it, I just can’t wait for all that hot vampire on vampire action, embargo be damned! I’ve got ten completely accurate Twilight spoilers burning a hole in my pocket, and I’m about to share them all with you. Just click on the pictures above to see the spoilers for yourself.

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A Guy’s Guide To The ‘Twilight’ Characters http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/a-guys-guide-to-the-twilight-characters/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/a-guys-guide-to-the-twilight-characters/#comments Tue, 15 Nov 2011 17:00:21 +0000 Nicholas Pell http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=236254 Everything you need to know to fake a conversation about Twilight...

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Get ready, guys. The new Twilight film, Breaking Dawn, Part I, is coming. This means that at some point in the next month, a girl is going to want to discuss the movies with you, if not actually drag you to a screening. As such, you need to pretend like you care about Twilight, which is a tall order. Luckily, Screen Junkies has you covered. Here’s part one to our four-part guide to understanding as much as you need to understand — or as much as there is to understand — about Twilight.

Check out a Guy’s Guide to Twilight, The Twilight Saga: New Moon, and The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

The Characters

Bella Swan

Bella Swan is the protagonist of Twilight. Her name means “beautiful swan.” Sadly, we aren’t kidding. She is kind of a stand in for Stephanie Meyers, a creepy Mormon lady who clearly wants to be in an abusive relationship with a 100-year old man posing as a 17-year old. She has absolutely no personal qualities other than loving Edward Cullen, and she makes one single bitchface throughout all of the Twilight movies. She thinks she likes Jacob for a little while, but mostly she’s just into having some super-old dude she barely knows tell her what to do all the time.

Edward Cullen

Edward Cullen is Bella Swan’s love. He’s a creepy old man in the body of a 17-year-old boy who is, for some reason, hanging around high school girls. Female Twi-hards think he’s super romantic and ignore what an abusive, crazy dude he is. When Bella is sleeping, he lurks in her bedroom without her knowledge, and when she’s awake, he’s always telling her what to do. We never get any reason for why Edward loves Bella so much, which isn’t surprising, since she has no personality, and his character has all the depth of and nuance of Tony Danza’s acting.

Also, he sparkles like glitter in the sun and wears a “purity ring” because Twilight is basically Mormon propaganda.

Jacob Black

Jacob Black is a werewolf who is pretty awesome until he falls in love with Bella, at which point he becomes a total vagine. He’s a Native American, which is admittedly pretty rad, as is being a werewolf. He builds motorcycles from scratch with his bare hands, which actually qualifies him as a legit bad ass. Sadly, the fact that he’s a bad ass is probably why Bella ends up with Edward. Twilight is basically for depressing fat chicks, and they’d rather see a sensitive lady man like Edward get the girl than a dude with tattoos who reeks of motor grease.

Unfortunately, as the movies go on, Jacob increasingly becomes a thoughtful, sensitive man who knows how to console Bella, cook a romantic dinner, and shop for tampons without even being told what brand to buy.

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Nude ‘Twilight’ Stars Taylor Lautner, Kristen Stewart Will Give You A Virus http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/nude-twilight-stars-taylor-lautner-kristen-stewart-will-give-you-a-virus/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/nude-twilight-stars-taylor-lautner-kristen-stewart-will-give-you-a-virus/#comments Mon, 14 Nov 2011 23:31:26 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=236415 We meant a computer virus, but I wouldn't rule out the regular kind.

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12 photos‘Breaking Dawn’ Actress Ashley Greene

Horny tweens searching for nude photos of Twilight stars Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner are vulnerable to computer viruses from “poisoned” links.

Norton, the company behind that antivirus software that you’ve been meaning to buy for 15 years now, has issued a warning saying that virus-spreaders have been attaching malicious programs to Twilight-related links promising nude cast photos.

Kids, there aren’t any naked pictures of Twilight stars online. Duh! I mean, I’ve got some in my safe, but you can’t see them.

Until this all gets sorted out, it’s Screen Junkies recommendation that, to keep the virus in check, you immediately perform clitorectomies on all teenage girls that you think might search for this type of thing. As for teenage boys, they will need their genitals for procreation, so it’s advised that you lock them in a closet until it’s time for them to breed or the virus threat wanes. Whatever comes first… or last. It’s up to you really. They’re your kids.

Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1 hits theaters like a goddamn atom bomb this Friday.

(Source)

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8 Things To Do While Waiting In Line For The Twilight Premiere http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/8-things-to-do-while-waiting-in-line-for-the-twilight-premiere/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/8-things-to-do-while-waiting-in-line-for-the-twilight-premiere/#comments Thu, 10 Nov 2011 19:30:20 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=235974 Tell everyone you're there for the premiere of the new pornographic film 'Breaking Dawn'.

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Unsurprisingly, Twilight fans have begun lining up outside the Nokia Theater in downtown Los Angeles in order to catch a glimps of their favorite stars on the red carpet for Monday’s Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1 premiere. Well, there’s a lot of time to kill between now and Monday’s event, so if you’re thinking about joining them, or already in line, we have assembled a helpful guide of eight things to do to help pass the time.

Introducing Everyone To Your Pet Chipmunk, Taylor Lautner

I keep harping on this, but I will not rest until everyone admits that Taylor Lautner looks like a damn chipmunk. It’s not a compliment, and it’s not a criticism. It’s a statement of fact. He’s got chipmunk teeth and puffy little cheeks, and if chipmunks had personal trainers, I’m pretty sure that their abs would closely resemble his.

Broker A Truce Between Team Edward And Team Jacob

This is quickly turning into the India-Pakistan of the kiddie-lit set. If I had seen any of the Twilight books or movies, I might be able to insert some witticism about why one is superior to the other, but alas. Frankly, brokering a truce between these two factions isn’t likely, due to their Al-Qaeda-like devotion to their cause, so the best thing to do is arm them, and hope for a swift resolution with minimal collateral damage.

“TEAM JACOB IS NO MORE! JOIN TEAM EDWARD OR THE STREETS WILL FLOW WITH YOUR BLOOD! HALALALALALALALALALALALA!”

Tell Fellow Campers That You Are Happy That You Brought Extra Shit Buckets, Then Sell Shit Buckets To Them For $200 Each

I understand that they’re big fans, but my guess is that many of these dumb people didn’t think things through. Sure, the restaurant owners will probably let the Twihards use their restrooms during business hours, but these people are living outdoors for almost a week. Not everything can be done during business hours. These people will need to defecate, and when they do, inform them that you WILL NOT save their place in line. Rather, they can pay $200 for a sparkling-new shit bucket, or they can leave the line and take their chances.

I also just really like the idea of a bunch of teenagers in Twilight shirts carrying buckets of their own waste, unsure of where to put them come Monday.

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Boot Knockin’, Werewolf Fights, And Bad Burritos In ‘Twilight: Breaking Dawn – Part 1′ Trailer http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/boot-knockin-werewolf-fights-and-bad-burritos-in-twilight-breaking-dawn-part-1-trailer/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/boot-knockin-werewolf-fights-and-bad-burritos-in-twilight-breaking-dawn-part-1-trailer/#comments Wed, 14 Sep 2011 13:56:05 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=video&p=228397 Bella learns the consequences of buying hot meals at the gas station.

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It’s every young husband’s nightmare — after getting your wife pregnant during the honeymoon, your super-genes cause the baby to grow at a rapid rate and it is born within a matter of days, thus killing the mom. C’mon guys, we’ve all thought about it.

That’s exactly what happens to Robert Pattinson in the new trailer for Twilight: Breaking Dawn – Part 1. Also, looks like we get a rumble between vampires and werewolves. If you’re into the imagery of gaunt art school students suplexing over-sized wolves, you’d better get yourself a ticket, because this is the movie for you.

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One Of These Five Actors Should Replace Bradley Cooper In ‘The Crow’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/one-of-these-five-actors-should-replace-bradley-cooper-in-the-crow/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/one-of-these-five-actors-should-replace-bradley-cooper-in-the-crow/#comments Wed, 24 Aug 2011 20:53:26 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=225777 Just pick on of these five and make the damn movie. Or we can all just watch the original and enjoy that for the next 20 years. That sounds nice, too.

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News broke a few days ago that Bradley Cooper had to quit Juan Carlos Fesnadillo’s reboot of the much-loved 1994 film The Crow due to scheduling conflicts, allowing diehard fans to breathe a sigh of relief. It was hard to imagine an actor that shared fewer qualities with the titular character than Cooper.

Well, the hunt is on for a replacement, with Channing Tatum’s name being tossed around in the rumor mill. Huh. I just got done saying it was hard to imagine an actor that had less in common with The Crow’s Eric Draven, and yet someone was able to find one so quickly! Gotta love Hollywood.

While a studio might go for a pretty face and hope the rest sorts itself out, let’s weigh a few names that actually share some characteristics with the dark avenger, and see if we can’t do a better job than “Channing F*cking Tatum.” I bet we can.

5. Enrique Iglesias

I introduced this entry as a joke because through his videos, Iglesias has so much experience moving in slow-motion through the rain, but I inadvertently sold myself on this one. The fact is that The Crow/Eric Draven seems to be more about the façade than it does about the actor, and Enrique Iglesias is an attractive musician that does brooding better than anyone. Should you revisit Once Upon a Time in Mexico, you’d see that he can play a quiet badass surprisingly well.

4. Robert Pattinson

I’m legally obligated to put him on this list. Sure, his Twilight character and performance don’t exactly move my meter, but his turn in Water for Elephants demonstrated some chops, and the fact that he was chosen by David Cronenberg to star in the upcoming Cosmopolis is also very promising. He’s a more age-appropriate choice than Bradley Cooper, and think of all the money they’d save on pancake makeup by carting out his pale British ass.

3. Gael Garcia Bernal

I know that I’ve gone two out of three entries with Latinamerican heartthrobs, and believe me, it will be something I address with my therapist next Tuesday. I think the Latin loner sensibility plays well here. Remember that the original Crow, Brandon Lee, was Bruce Lee’s kid, so those who remember the character as a corn-fed white boy are horrible, horrible racists. Bernal is probably the most accomplished actor on this list, as he’s appeared in Amores Perros, Babel, and as Che Guevera in The Motorcycle Diaries. With that pedigree, I’m sure he’ll be able to fire a machine gun, scream up towards the sky, and say “It can’t rain all the time,” with a degree of competency.

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Trailer For ‘Twilight: Breaking Dawn’ Has It All http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/trailer-for-twilight-breaking-dawn-has-it-all/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/trailer-for-twilight-breaking-dawn-has-it-all/#comments Sun, 05 Jun 2011 23:25:16 +0000 Joseph Gibson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=Video&p=214855 Lookin' good, sexy vampires.

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6 photosKeep Looking At New Pics From 'Twilight: Breaking Dawn' Forever

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 starring Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart (whew) is either a movie you have no interest in seeing, or the Second Coming of Christ. Or maybe somewhere in between? Anyway, here’s the first trailer for the hotly anticipated sexy married vampires movie, and it’s got all the sad eyes and violin music you could ask for. Here’s an official plot synopsis, in case the trailer is not enough for your unquenchable thirst:

“After their wedding, Bella and Edward travel to Rio de Janeiro for their honeymoon, where they finally give in to their passions. Bella soon discovers she is pregnant, and during a nearly fatal childbirth, Edward finally fulfills her wish to become immortal.  But the arrival of their remarkable daughter, Renesmee, sets in motion a perilous chain of events that pits the Cullens and their allies against the Volturi, the fearsome council of vampire leaders, setting the stage for an all-out battle.”

Huh. Here’s hoping the fearsome council of vampire leaders forgot to bring their magic swords or whatever. The movie’s coming out on November 18, so try not to run afoul of any sexy vampires and/or werewolves before then.

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Just Look At Robert Pattinson In ‘Cosmopolis’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-photos/just-look-at-robert-pattinson-in-cosmopolis/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-photos/just-look-at-robert-pattinson-in-cosmopolis/#comments Sat, 28 May 2011 20:47:47 +0000 Joseph Gibson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=213998 Would you look at him?

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My god, look at Robert Pattinson. He’s a busy movie star, the idol of millions of teenage girls across the globe. Now look at him, acting in David Cronenberg‘s Cosmopolis, about a billionaire who embarks on a whirlwind limo ride through Manhattan. You can see a larger version of the first image from the movie by clicking the image above. It’s also inhabited by Sarah Gadon, who presumably is playing Pattinson’s love interest.

4 photosSee Some New 'Twilight' Pics Before It's Too Late

The movie also star Paul Giamatti, Juliette Binoche, Jay Baruchel and Samantha Morton, all of whom are not pictured here (you’re welcome). Now would you just look at that Robert Pattinson already!

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Keep Looking At New Pics From ‘Twilight: Breaking Dawn’ Forever http://www.screenjunkies.com/gallery/keep-looking-at-new-pics-from-twilight-breaking-dawn-forever/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/gallery/keep-looking-at-new-pics-from-twilight-breaking-dawn-forever/#comments Mon, 02 May 2011 18:06:18 +0000 Joseph Gibson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=Gallery&p=209989 It's not any less boring than honeymoon photos you see on Facebook.

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There are many ways to try and pass the time until the release of Twilight: Breaking Dawn in November. You could try and put yourself into a coma by bashing your skull with a hammer. You could go the Eric Cartman route and attempt to freeze yourself in the snow until the release date. But the safest option is to look at these pictures, most of which I’ve gathered are from Bella and Edward’s honeymoon, featuring Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, and Taylor “Third Wheel” Lautner. If you already knew that, congratulations, you’re a bigger fan of Twilight tha I am. Try not to let it get to your head.

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See Some New ‘Twilight’ Pics Before It’s Too Late http://www.screenjunkies.com/gallery/see-some-new-twilight-pics-before-its-too-late/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/gallery/see-some-new-twilight-pics-before-its-too-late/#comments Thu, 28 Apr 2011 19:32:02 +0000 Joseph Gibson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=Gallery&p=209524 They may not show up in mirrors, but they do show up in photographs.

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The first part of Twilight: Breaking Dawn or whatever it’s called from director Bill Condon might not be coming out until November, but that doesn’t mean you’ll be completely without the original sexy vampires until then. Here are some pictures from Entertainment Weekly to tide you over.

As for the pictures themselves, they look pretty much like you’d expect, with Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, and Kristen Stewart doing various things. You’ve got the pale guy and the girl eating eggs or something. The other guy running through the rain, some girls in dresses, some magazine covers – let’s not make too big a deal out of this, OK? Just try to maintain your composure and remember: It’s only a movie.

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Review: Water For Elephants http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-review/review-water-for-elephants/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-review/review-water-for-elephants/#comments Thu, 21 Apr 2011 22:58:48 +0000 Fred Topel http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=208116 Looks great, but feels just like all the other historical epic romances.

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Water for Elephants has great production value. It’s a period piece that takes you back to Depression era circus road shows like old time Hollywood productions. It’s also just like all the other historical epic romances. Coming of age, forbidden romance, oppressive older generation and present day bookends because nobody thinks they can just start the story in the past.

Jacob Jankowsky (Hal Hobrook and then Robert Pattinson) wanders up to a closed circus in present day and starts telling the story of how he remembered the great Benzini Bros. tragedy of 1931. Back in ’31, Jacob (Pattinson now) had everything going for him, about to graduate Cornell veterinary school, until his parents die in an automobile accident.

The banker is blatantly insensitive, criticizing Jacob’s generous father for helping people without pay. That’ll teach him to put a lien on his business for his son’s tuition. Jacob hops a train that happens to be the Benzini Brothers’. August (Christoph Waltz) gives Jacob a Training Day about the circus, only it’s over the course of the movie so it’s not really a Day.

August’s wife Marlena (Reese Witherspoon) is the star performer, an acrobat who works with the horse Silver Star. Jacob’s first act as circus vet is to put Silver Star down, so he bonds with Marlena over that heartbreak. Marlena already hates her husband, and rightfully so because he’s abusive, but it’s just artificially constructing a “forbidden” love. Except for a mutual affection for animals, Marlena and Jacob don’t have any real connection. They’re just there to be the romance.

Every theme in the movie is spelled out for you. The college boy has no real world experience. The boss works people and animals to death, literally. Did you forget the bookend with old Jacob? There’s a tragedy coming too.

To replace Silver Star, August buys Rosie the elephant. Rosie does some amazing stunts in one take, some with Witherspoon doing acrobatics herself. It’s just dressing up a domestic abuse story. August gets violent with Rosie and then cries apologetically. Jacob tries to save Marlena like she’s Rose in Titanic. Still, when Jacob threatens August’s life, I never for a moment believed he was going to go there.

By the time we see the tragic circus disaster, it’s revealed already in progress which is an interesting way to present it. Water for Elephants actually has the ending I wanted Titanic to have, but no, I never wanted it as saccharin as the final bookend makes it.

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Water for Elephants http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/films/water-for-elephants/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/films/water-for-elephants/#comments Thu, 14 Apr 2011 22:39:57 +0000 Reza F. http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=27231 Director: Francis Lawrence Cast: Reese Witherspoon, Robert Pattinson, Christopher Waltz, Hal Holbrook Synopsis: A veterinary student abandons his studies after his parents are killed and joins a traveling circus as...

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Director: Francis Lawrence

Cast: Reese Witherspoon, Robert Pattinson, Christopher Waltz, Hal Holbrook

Synopsis: A veterinary student abandons his studies after his parents are killed and joins a traveling circus as their vet.

Release Date: April 22, 2011

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Kevin Durand To Run Around With A Walkie-Talkie In ‘Cosmopolis’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/kevin-durand-to-run-around-with-a-walkie-talkie-in-cosmopolis/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/kevin-durand-to-run-around-with-a-walkie-talkie-in-cosmopolis/#comments Wed, 13 Apr 2011 16:06:46 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=206837 Kevin Durand will have to protect Robert Pattinson from all the crazy sh*t that Cronenberg is going to throw at him.

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Hollywood’s tallest actor Kevin Durand has joined the cast of David Cronenberg‘s Cosmopolis. In the film, he will play Robert Pattinson‘s head of security. To prepare for the role, he will practice stiff-arming overzealous teenage girls and some weird moms.

In the film, Pattinson plays a newlywed billionaire who loses his riches and lady in the course of one day. One very shitty day. There’s no word yet whether Durand will be expected to make love to an insect, turn into an insect, make love to James Spader, have a butt-naked knife fight, ward off mutant children, or have his head explode. But given that this is a Cronenberg film, you can expect any of those events are likely to happen within the first act. (Variety)

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Casting Round-Up: Penelope Cruz, Thandie Newton, Jay Baruchel, And Maggie Grace http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/casting-round-up-penelope-cruz-thandie-newton-and-jay-baruchel/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/casting-round-up-penelope-cruz-thandie-newton-and-jay-baruchel/#comments Thu, 07 Apr 2011 00:45:45 +0000 Geoffrey Golden http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=205801 Woody Allen, Tyler Perry and David Cronenberg will direct them. In different projects, though I'd be curious to know what the six of them would accomplish together.

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It’s time for another casting round-up, cowpokes. We sat ourselves down in front of studio lots, waited fer critters (celebrities) to walk out, hog tied ‘em, and asked them what parts they got. Here’s what y’all need to know:

PENELOPE CRUZ will team up with director Woody Allen once again, this time on a film set in Rome. There are no plot details yet, but the computer program I wrote says the odds are very high that it won’t be as good as earlier Woody Allen movies. (EW)

THANDIE NEWTON will play opposite Tyler Perry in his next film Good Deeds, which Perry will write and direct as well. The film is about a successful businessman who must choose between his rich fiancée and a down-on-her-luck single mother. Even if it’s bad, Newton can take comfort that it can’t be worse than Norbit. (TheWrap)

JAY BARUCHEL will join Robert Pattinson, Samantha Morton, and Paul Giamatti in David Cronenberg’s Cosmopolis. Pattinson plays a billionaire who loses everything he has in one day, including his new wife. Bad things happening to Pattinson, I can get on board with. Baruchel plays the original founder and conscious at Pattinson’s company. (Deadline)

MAGGIE GRACE will star alongside Liam Neeson in Taken 2, produced by Luc Besson. And yes, the will-he-or-won’t-he-tension of whether Neeson would take on Taken 2 has been resolved in the affirmative. Eight-time “Namey” award winner Olivier Megaton will direct. (Deadline) (Collider)

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Samantha Morton Wants To Get With Robert Pattinson In ‘Cosmopolis’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/samantha-morton-wants-to-get-with-robert-pattinson-in-cosmopolis/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/samantha-morton-wants-to-get-with-robert-pattinson-in-cosmopolis/#comments Tue, 22 Mar 2011 18:45:44 +0000 Joseph Gibson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=202974 David Cronenberg is going to jam another person into that limo.

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David Cronenberg‘s upcoming movie version of Don DeLillo’s novel Cosmopolis is continuing to add ringers to its cast. The latest addition is Samantha Morton, who’s been in a lot of stuff but will always be Agatha the precog from Minority Report to me. The star of the movie, Robert Pattinson, spilled the info in a recent interview:

“I know Juliette Binoche is in it now, and Samantha Morton. It’s going to be a crazy cast. Like, I have a feeling it’s going to be amazing.”

I have a feeling it’s going to be amazing too, Mr. Pattinson. Here’s a plot synopsis, in case you’re not rabidly following news about Don Delillo adaptations by David Cronenberg:

“[The movie] follow 24 hours in the life of newly married billionaire Eric Packer (Pattinson) as he cheats on his wife, is pursued by a stalker (Paul Giamatti), gets attacked by a protester and gradually loses his entire fortune over the course of a single day. “

Sounds pretty good, right? No word yet on who Morton is playing, but hopefully the movie will live up the promise indicated by the involvement of Robert Pattinson. And, uh, those other people. (via The Playlist)

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‘Akira’ Casting Shortlist: Pattinson, Garfield, No One Asian http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/akira-casting-shortlist-pattinson-garfield-no-one-asian/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/akira-casting-shortlist-pattinson-garfield-no-one-asian/#comments Tue, 22 Mar 2011 06:07:25 +0000 Geoffrey Golden http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=202894 Andrew Garfield, James McAvoy and Robert Pattinson are all up for the lead role of Tetsuo. If the audition requires shirtlessness, Pattinson's got the experience edge.

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Akira is considered one on the most important works in all of mangadom and animeland. It’s a Japanese classic, which is why it must be written by the Harry Potter screenwriter and star a franchise-carrying white dude. “Must… scrub… all… Japanese… aspects… away…,” said a hard-at-work Warner Bros. They missed a spot, though – all the characters still have names like Tetsuo and Kaneda. Why not Tony and Kyle? Now those are first names I can relate to.

Andrew Garfield, James McAvoy and Robert Pattinson have been given the current draft of Akira, re-written by Steve Kloves. They’re all up for the lead role of Tetsuo. If the audition requires shirtlessness, Pattinson’s got the experience edge. Meanwhile, for the role of Kaneda, Chris Pine, Justin Timberlake, Garrett Hedlund, Michael Fassbender and Joaquin Phoenix are under consideration.

The story takes place in the very distant future – 2019 – where a bike gang leader must save his buddy from becoming the victim of a medical experiment. Warner Bros. and director Albert Hughes (From Hell) are excited about the new draft, though probably Albert’s co-director brother Allen is not, since he’s been left out of the picture. Or maybe he too became the victim of a medical experiment somewhere in Neo-Tokyo. (Deadline)

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Robert Pattinson Breaks Circus Law In New ‘Water For Elephants’ Trailer http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/robert-pattinson-breaks-circus-law-in-new-water-for-elephants-trailer/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/robert-pattinson-breaks-circus-law-in-new-water-for-elephants-trailer/#comments Fri, 04 Mar 2011 05:17:08 +0000 Geoffrey Golden http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=Video&p=37924 When you break a circus law, you pay the circus price.

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When yo break a circus law, you pay the circus price. And circus court is on a fast-moving circus train. Also: circuses.

Here’s another trailer for the Robert Pattinson / Reese Witherspoon romantic period drama Water For Elephants. In the trailer, we see that Pattinson’s parents both die suddenly, so naturally my first reaction was, “does he become a Batman?” Sadly, no. The would-be doctor joins the circus, makes the wife of the circus boss (Witherspoon) a Team Edward die-hard and trouble ensues. Director Francis Lawrence (I Am Legend) helmed the adaptation of author Sara Gruen’s book.

Water For Elephants drives its clown car into theaters April 22nd. Will Twilight fans in theaters scream “Bella” every time Pattinson kisses Witherspoon? It’s a risk I’m not interested in taking.

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Juliette Binoche To Ride Robert Pattinson’s Coattails In ‘Cosmopolis’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/juliette-binoche-to-ride-robert-pattinsons-coattails-in-cosmopolis/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/juliette-binoche-to-ride-robert-pattinsons-coattails-in-cosmopolis/#comments Fri, 18 Feb 2011 19:54:51 +0000 Joseph Gibson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=28220 Juliette Binoche is getting in on that sweet Pattinson action.

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David Cronenberg‘s upcoming adaptation of the Don DeLillo novel Cosmopolis already managed to get America’s Albino Robert Pattinson for the lead role. Now, clamoring to get on the Pattinson bandwagon, Juliette Binoche is also signed on for the movie. She’s joinin Paul Giamatti and (possibly) Mathieu Almaric in a movie about Pattinson cruising through Manhattan in his limo getting into all kinds of shenanigans:

“[A] young billionaire, who during the course of one day traveling across Manhattan in his limo, manages to cheat on his wife, deal with protesters and another antagonist or two, and encounter some financial trouble.”

No word on what part Binoche will actually be playing. Back when Colin Farrell was cast in the lead it was speculated she would be playing the main character’s wife, but that seems a little less likely given Pattinson’s age. (via /Film)

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Cathartic News: Robert Pattinson Gets Beaten Up In ‘Water For Elephants’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/cathartic-news-robert-pattinson-gets-beaten-up-in-water-for-elephants/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/cathartic-news-robert-pattinson-gets-beaten-up-in-water-for-elephants/#comments Fri, 18 Feb 2011 00:37:28 +0000 Geoffrey Golden http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=Video&p=27967 If you've ever thought, "it'd be fun to beat the sh*t out of Robert Pattinson," you'll be jealous of a few lucky actors cast in 'Water For Elephants.'

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If you’ve ever thought, “it’d be fun to beat the shit out of Robert Pattinson,” you’ll be jealous of a few lucky actors cast in Water For Elephants. Directed by Francis Lawrence’s (I Am Legend), co-starring Reese Witherspoon, Pattinson tells an Entertainment Tonight reporter (ugh) that he’s gonna get his sparkly vampire butt kicked in the film.

Anytime there’s any sort of love scene or anything, I always end up getting beaten up… Our most romantic moment [in the movie] is me getting beaten up by about ten guys.

If you can withstand the full-on “glitz” of ET – I literally cringed all the way through – you can see the whole interview above.

If you’d rather see Legally Blonde get into a cat fight, that may or may not happen to Pattinson’s new love interest in the movie. However, in real life, hundreds of crazy Team Edward tweens are probably waiting for Witherspoon to let her guard down in a parking lot, where they will mercilessly pounce on her, attempt to suck her blood, then get tazed by her bodyguard, who was just in the Starbucks for, like, a second.

Below is the synopsis for Water For Elephants, stampeding over Pattinson and into theaters soon. (Collider)

Veterinary school student Jacob (Pattinson) meets and falls in love with Marlena (Witherspoon), a star performer in a circus of a bygone era. They discover beauty amidst the world of the Big Top, and come together through their compassion for a special elephant. Against all odds – including the wrath of Marlena’s charismatic but dangerous husband, August (Christopher Waltz) – Jacob and Marlena find lifelong love.

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Robert Pattinson Wants To Be Jeff Buckley, Has 6 Years To Live http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/robert-pattinson-wants-to-be-jeff-buckley-has-6-years-to-live/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/robert-pattinson-wants-to-be-jeff-buckley-has-6-years-to-live/#comments Thu, 27 Jan 2011 16:53:17 +0000 Joseph Gibson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=22706 Here's a bit of Robert Pattinson news, lest you think he was going to disintegrate completely after Twilight.

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Here’s a bit of Robert Pattinson news, lest you think he was going to disintegrate completely after Twilight (do the vampires in Twilight disintegrate? I’m not a fan): He’s reportedly interested in playing rock martyr Jeff Buckley in a music biopic.

Jeff Buckley was the son of singer-songwriter Tim Buckley, and accidentally drowned to death at age 30. Apparently this is Pattinson’s “dream project,” but he’s not the only candidate for the part: Ryan Gosling, James Marsden and James Franco are also reported to be interested in playing Buckley. Good God, I certainly wouldn’t want to be up against James Franco for a role I wanted.  Isn’t he legally obligated to appear in every film? (via JoBlo)

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Cronenberg’s ‘Cosmopolis’ Casting Skewing Younger, Paler http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/cronenbergs-cosmopolis-casting-skewing-younger-paler/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/cronenbergs-cosmopolis-casting-skewing-younger-paler/#comments Wed, 19 Jan 2011 21:26:30 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=18921 David Cronenberg's Cosmopolis seems to be swapping out the whole cast, one move at a time.

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David Cronenberg‘s Cosmopolis seems to be swapping out the whole cast, one move at a time. Originally announced to be starring Colin Farrell and Marion Cotillard as the young billionaire and his wife, respectively, it would seem that the producers have decided to make that couple even younger by recasting the couple with Robert Pattinson and Keira Knightly. While Farrell was no Daniel Day-Lewis, he had proven his chops as a man at the end of his rope in films like Minority Report and Phone Booth, while Pattinson has proven to have one gear as an actor: brooding teenager Knowing Cronenberg, “brooding teenager” is probably not a facet of this role, so our guard is up.

Further, the talk on Paul Giamatti playing the billionaire’s stalker has died down as well, which ominously suggests that they might be turning Cosmopolis into The Game for a younger set. Ugh. Here’s to hoping they at least pull a down-on-his-luck William H. Macy or Phillip Seymour Hoffman in there to add some depth. That’s not to say Knightley isn’t a decent actress, but she’s so hot that it’s hard to pay attention to her role. Phillip Seymour Hoffman’s never had that problem.

Cosmopolis follows a billionaire (Pattinson) ove 24 hours as he cheats on his wife, gets stalked, and loses his fortune. Sounds like a pretty good premise. Here’s to hoping that they can get the right team together. (Playlist)

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First Still From ‘Twilight: Breaking Dawn’ Looks Like Softcore Porn http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/first-image-from-twilight-new-dawn-looks-like-softcore-porn/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/first-image-from-twilight-new-dawn-looks-like-softcore-porn/#comments Thu, 13 Jan 2011 03:45:29 +0000 Geoffrey Golden http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=15901 Or a Barbara Walters special?

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When you imagine “sex with a vampire,” you probably think of dark castles, coffins and the Monster Mash playing in the background while you get your neck sucked. That’s what I imagine, at least — and I think about it all the time! However, there’s clearly a world of difference between Dracula and the Twilight Saga, as you can see from the touching image to the left.

This sneak peak still from the upcoming Twilight: Breaking Dawn, which teases a heartwarming sex scene between tween dream actors Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart. The image looks like it was shot in soft focus with bright warm lights – this doesn’t exactly look like”True Blood,” that’s for sure. More like softcore porn or a Barbara Walters special. However, my understanding is that there’s a super-gory childbirth scene in Breaking Dawn, but even still, this isn’t vampire sex. This is tamer than the cover of a Harlequin novel. (Collider)

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Someone Will Assassinate Robert Pattinson http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/robert-pattinson-cast-in-cronenbergs-cosmopolis/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/robert-pattinson-cast-in-cronenbergs-cosmopolis/#comments Thu, 06 Jan 2011 00:38:02 +0000 Col. Longshanks http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=14408 David Cronenberg has kicked Colin Farrell out of his limo and invited Robert Pattinson in. The Team Edward ambassador himself has signed on to play Eric Packer in Cosmopolis.

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David Cronenberg has kicked Colin Farrell out of his limo and invited Robert Pattinson in. The Team Edward ambassador himself has signed on to play Eric Packer in Cosmopolis. Let’s assume I made a joke about his surname and move right on to the synopsis provided by Deadline:

“A financial wunderkind, Packer risks his entire fortune to bet against the yen on a tumultuous day. His deed puts him in the crosshairs for assassination in a drama that is a study of capitalism in a slightly futuristic metropolis. Most of the scenes in the book take place in the limousine that transports Packer from place to place. Marion Cotillard and Paul Giamatti are also reportedly doing the film.”

I can understand Cronenberg wanting to spend his time cooped up in a limo with Pattinson rather than Farrell. He probably smells better and drinks less. But does an audience that’s comprised of more than just horny tweens and horny housewives want to take that ride? Maybe if only to see something horrific birth from Pattinson’s stomach.

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