Screen Junkies » robert patterson

8 Actors Who Could Play Patrick Bateman In The ‘American Psycho’ Remake

Nicholas Pell — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 16:06:36 +0000

Hard to believe that it’s 2011, a whopping 11 years after the release of American Psycho. The film is a rare example of an adaptation that’s better than the book, mostly because Bret Easton Ellis is a hack with all the talent of a junior-level copywriter for the Sears catalog. Still, one of the biggest reasons the film works so well is the god-tier performance by Christian Bale. He’s got some seriously difficult G.J. Cleverly & Co. shoes to fill. Here are some people we think might be up to the task, regardless.

Tom Cruise

Christian Bale went on record as saying that he was channeling noted mental health expert Tom Cruise while filming American Psycho. The great big smile with the totally blank, 1,000-yard stare is common among Operating Thetans, particularly those who have gazed in the abyss of Xenu and his DC-10s in space. This might work better as a SNL skit than as a full movie, but we’d like to see Tom give it the old pre-Clear try.

Vincent Gallo

If Vinnie Gallo, Jr. signs on to play Patrick Bateman the movie will get filmed, edited and post-produced before Gallo burns every copy out of spite. We’re kind of OK with that, considering that this movie is going to totally suck balls.

Tyler Perry To Play Alex Cross, Hopefully As Angry Fat Woman

Geoffrey Golden — Tue, 01 Feb 2011 04:50:31 +0000

There’s so much Tyler Perry news tonight, it’s like we’re lost inside his insidious ”House of Payne.” Cue bland, sentimental family moment and audience applause.

First we saw a Madea / Black Swan parody poster that’s one ugly-ass duckling, and now we find out that Tyler Perry is being packaged with director Rob Cohen (The Fast and the Furious) to adapt James Patterson’s detective thriller novel I, Alex Cross, part of a series of Alex Cross novels. If you saw Along Came A Spider and/or Kiss the Girls, you probably remember Morgan Freeman as detective Alex Cross, who brought a considerable weight to the dramatic role. I’m sure Perry also plans to bring weight to the role, in the form of a fat suit, and any additional pounds that may come from a wig, comically big glasses and a plate of hot grits to scold a dude with.

Several distributors are considering the package and wondering, “I’d like a piece of that sweet, sweet Tyler Perry box office money, but is this really gonna work? Like, at all?” One big problem is that Perry’s biggest hits are still the movies where he expresses his inner fat drag queen grandma, unless you count Star Trek, where I blinked and literally missed his performance. Still… money… (Deadline)