Producer Jay Weisleder says “The story of Roberto Duran and Ray Arcel is not only a homage to the golden days of boxing; it is most importantly the story of a fatherless man who teaches every single one of us the true meaning of never giving up.” Except, of course, the part at the very end when Durán famously gives up. Just go get a soda or something during that part. (Deadline)

Prizes:

Two (2) winners will receive:
• $50 Movie Theater Gift Card
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• Soundtrack

Prizing values: $80 each
Prizing provided by Focus Features

So, without further delay, here’s the pic. Leave your caption in the comment below, and be funny, damn it! And be sure to check out the trailer.

Here is our list of award winning actors and the silly things that directors made them do.

Paul Giamatti – Big Fat Liar

Just one year before American Splendor launched him into starring roles, Paul Giamatti was died blue and taking nut-shots opposite Frankie Muniz in the kid’s comedy Big Fat Liar. In the film, Giamatti plays a sleazy Hollywood producer who plagiarizes Muniz’s school essay and turns it into a hit film. As revenge, Muniz teams up with Amanda Bynes to turn his world upside down. His skin and hair are dyed, his car destroyed, and his staff turned against him. That’s the kid’s film equivalent of being Qaddfi’d.

Bryan Cranston – Mighty, Morphin’ Power Rangers

It was a long and winding road that lead Bryan Cranston to Emmy gold and his breakout role as Walter White on Breaking Bad. Along the way, he picked up guest-starring spots and odd voice work all around Hollywood. One voice over gig was that of Snizard on Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers. The snake/lizard hybrid easily defeated its foes by launching “tonsil snakes” that would wrap around and weaken their targets. Cranston got off lucky here. So many Hollywood hopefuls are forced to deal with a very different definition of tonsil snake if they want to be stars.

Sean Connery – Zardoz

After captivating the world with his portrayal of James Bond in six films, Sean Connery was walking on sunshine. Considered by many to be the epitome of sexy, the Scottish actor was a major movie star the entire world over. That must be want gave him the confidence to wear a long french braid and strut around in a puffy red diaper with matching ammo bandelier suspenders. Eh. It was the 70′s.

After he beat her savagely on the side of the road, you would think that Rihanna couldn’t cut him out of her life fast enough, but there’s no accounting for sentiment, as often the lovelorn wait too long to cut the cord, often causing dire results. Here are just a few such examples in the world of film and television.

Ginger – Casino

Over the course of her relationship with Sam Rothstein, she slept with his best friend, stole towels from his hotel, tied up his child, cheated on him with her pimp ex-boyfriend, then tried to swindle him out of as much money as she could. Frankly, doing one of these things is too much to forgive, especially the towel theft.

She’s hot and infectious, so I can understand why Sam kept coming back to her, exercising infinite patience, but that doesn’t mean it was the right thing to do. He should have kicked her ass to the curb, if not killed her.

Ike – What’s Love Got To Do With It?

Ike may not be fictional, but he is a character in a movie, and he’s plenty abusive, so I have no qualms putting him on this list. He got second chances in spades from wife Tina, with his “I can change, baby” attitude lampooned (hysterically) by Tim Meadows on Saturday Night Live.

Ike was so sinister and shitty that in a 1985 interview, when he was asked about his alleged abuse of ex-wife Tina, he said “Yeah I hit her, but I didn’t hit her more than the average guy beats his wife.” He then went on to restate his position a little differently, in a fashion that would be funnier if it didn’t involve domestic abuse – “Sure, I’ve slapped Tina… There have been times when I punched her to the ground without thinking. But I have never beat her.”

I’m going to the dictionary to make sure I know what “beat” means.

“Good news, son. Your father is one of the top three writers in America. Also, he wears a tinfoil cape.”

Pretty solid setup for a drama, and with it in the able hands of About A Boy’s Paul Weitz, we can expect good things. It’s just nice to see De Niro in a film where he isn’t milking cats or having a needle stuck into his penis. Or maybe he is. Who knows? Being homeless is hard.

Among others, the poster proudly boasts Abigail Breslin AND Til Schweiger! That’s right, the German actor and director of over 50 films will be popping up to bring some diversity (granted, European diversity) to the ensemble cast which also features:

Halle Berry, Jessica Biel, Jon Bon Jovi, Chris “Ludacris” Bridges, Robert De Niro, Josh Duhamel, Zac Efron, Hector Elizondo, Katherine Heigl, Ashton Kutcher, Seth Meyers, Lea Michele, Sarah Jessica Parker, Michelle Pfeiffer, Hilary Swank and Sofia Vergara.

The film also seems to star “champagne” and “backlit dancing” in their breakout roles.

Because it’s Friday and so little real news breaks on Friday, let’s try to guess the coupling here:

Seth Meyers and Halle Berry

Zac Efron and Jessica Biel

Ludacris, Robert De Niro, and Abigail Breslin

Til Schweiger and any woman with two eyes and a heart

Sarah Jessica Parker and Hector “The Hitman” Elizondo

Katherine Heigl and Josh Duhamel (They’ll have the cutest babies!!!!)

And since I’m pretty much over this exercise, let’s say the rest just hook up in a giant orgy over the end credits.

Last year, Cooper was attached to the lead role of a former teacher who moves in with his mom after being institutionalized for depression, but was cast aside when director David O. Russell‘s best guy, Mark Wahlberg, showed interest. Wahlberg, however, now has to bow out due to a scheduling conflict. So, now Cooper is back and things are going to be awkwaaaard at the table read.

Robert De Niro, whose trailer accidentally fused to Cooper’s on the set of Limitless, will continue his recent trend of going only where Cooper goes. He’s currently in talks for an undisclosed role. Jennifer Lawrence will also star as a young woman who jumps from bed to bed after the death of her husband. That’s every ghost’s nightmare. (Deadline)

In honor of this hilarious new meme, we present to you the five funniest Jack and Jill trailer parodies so far.

The Bad Lieutenant

Hitler

Nicolas Cage

Robert De Niro

George C. Scott

And they aren’t really missed. True to the title, the aforementioned three appear to be elite killers, beating each other up while strapped to chairs, strapped in by a seat belt, or, in De Niro’s case, just really, really old. Lest one think this is ridiculous, nonsensical action fare, the trailer informs that the film is based on a true story, which seems very improbable. But Hollywood doesn’t lie, so I’ll be heading to my local library to learn more about this menage a trois of ass-kicking.

In summary, most of this trailer is set to Scorpions’ “Rock You Like a Hurricane.” That’s really all the information you need. This article could have been a lot shorter.

According to the NY Post, popular yucksters Robert De Niro and Sean Penn are teaming up for The Comedian. De Niro stars as an insult comic in the vain of Don Rickles in the film scripted by Art Linson and Jeffrey Ross. Sean Penn is in talks to direct, not Martin Scorsese as previously reported.

I’m sure this will be the laugh-out loud hit of the year. Actually, all years. With the super-bubbly Sean Penn and Robert De Niro on board, how could it not be? Throw in a role for funnyman Russell Crowe and we may all need crutches from over-slapped knees.

Now, there’s a rumor going around that there’s going to be a return to that type of material for both of these movie giants, called The Comedian. It’s the baby of producer Art Linson, who wrote the script about an old insult comic in the Don Rickles mold. And De Niro reportedly loves the script, and Linson wants to get Martin Scorsese to direct it. No word on whether Scorsese is actually interested in such a project, and it will be a wonder if he is, since he’s got so much on his plate as it is, including another movie with De Niro, The Irishman. But, it’s nice to have hope. (Showbiz 411)

Olivia Munn has officially joined Aaron Sorkin‘s HBO drama about what happens behind-the-scenes – whoa, there’s a behind-the scenes? – at a cable news show. Currently the series is called “More As The Story Develops.” When I wished I could “see more” of Olivia Munn, her suddenly getting a lot of acting work was not what I had in mind. Stupid monkey’s paw. Meanwhile, Allison Pill (Milk) joins the cast as an associate producer in a shaky relationship with another staffer. The reason the relationship’s shaky? He accidentally asked her to give him some “forehead.” (Hollywood Reporter)

The old and buster Spider-Man, Topher Grace, is set to star in Gently Down The Stream along with Robert De Niro, Diane Keaton, Amanda Seyfried and Katherine Heigl. He’ll play De Niro’s son, who falls in love with his adopted brother’s Latin sister. Eh, that kind of thing happens all the time, I’m sure. Justin Zackham is directing. (Deadline)

Rapper / actor / vitamin water aficionado 50 Cent will play blind DJ Shamus Cocobolo in Stephen Sommers‘ Odd Thomas. Yeah, that does sound odd. Based on the bestseller by Dean Koontz, the film’s about a clairvoyant short order cook (Anton Yelchin) who follows around a suspicious man connected to an impending disaster. Odd Thomas also stars Addison Timlin, Willem Dafoe and Patton Oswalt. (Variety)

The bad news: This doesn’t sound like a role that would be in Bobby D’s wheelhouse. His past historical roles (Al Capone and Frankenstein‘s monster, which I know isn’t technically “historic,” but is familiar enough that it might as well be) have required far less nuance than Madoff would, and both those performances were not among De Niro’s finest.

That said, it’s safe to say that his participation in any project lends it immediate legitimacy, save for the Meet the Parents franchise, so it’s easy to see what HBO gets out of this. Seeing him as a socialite with vast wealth will be a context in which we’ve never seen De Niro. Huh. I guess in many ways this will be like playing Al Capone. (Deadline)

The movie is called Gently Down The Stream, and it will also star Katherine Heigl and Amanda Seyfried, who presumably will not be joining De Niro and Keaton in harmonizing “Row, Row, Row Your Boat.” Here’s what they will be doing:

“De Niro and Keaton play a long-divorced couple who, for the sake of their adopted son’s wedding and his biological mother, pretend they are still married. They quickly learn that acting the part isn’t easy, especially when their past, present and future unravel for all to see.”

Sounds wacky! I hope there’s a scene where De Niro is like “No, we aren’t marr-I mean yes, we are married!” I’m already laughing. (Variety)

I love Buried, so I’m pretty excited about this, even though the plot synopsis from star Elizabeth Olsen makes it seem more conventional than that:

“Robert [De Niro] plays a world renowned psychic and Sigourney is a psychology professor, and I play her student… Cillian Murphy is my love interest, though that’s not a huge part of the story.”

You can see the larger picture down below. You can also print it out and take it to the mall so you can get a pair of sunglasses just like De Niro has. That’s what I’m going to do, anyway. (via /Film)

“Jackson plays the son of a slain NYPD officer who, with his two best friends, joins the Police Academy. After graduating, he’ taken under the wing of his father’s former partner Captain Vic Sarcone (De Niro) in the ranks of Sarcone’s Street Vice Crime Task Force and he becomes part of Scarcone’s rogue task force.”

So it sounds like a little bit of The Untouchables, with a little, I dunno, Training Day or something mixed in. Hopefully this means De Niro will finally learn a thing or two about acting, and we can see what he’s really capable of. Do you think they can do another Fockers movie after this? (via Deadline)

The script be Paul Haggis (and re-written by Rachel Getting Married‘s Jenny Lumet) has long been considered one of the best unmade films, and is loved by both New Line Cinema and star Bradley Cooper. And do you have any idea how hard it is to get Bradley Cooper to love you? His wild heart cannot be tamed.

But De Niro is simply not interested which has proven to have a ripple effect on the entire production. Cooper doesn’t want to appear disloyal to De Niro (who can blame him after the master thesp’s turn in Rocky & Bullwinkle), and Demme doesn’t want to make the film under negative circumstances. Maybe if Demme were to write in a scene where Ben Stiller accidentally serves poop at dinner or one where Billy Crystal prescribes him a drug that causes extreme cottonmouth and zany side effects, he’d have De Niro’s commitment. Until that time, however, Kevin James needs someone to play a stern judge in a movie about a fat lawyer who falls down a lot. And then Queen Latifah is all like, “Awwwww, Hell no!” (Deadline)

There’s no question: Limitless is a story for the 21^st century. A modern man, unable to match the pace of his modern world, ingests a modern drug, achieves modern perfection, and enters the pinstriped ranks of the modern elite. It’s a superhero tale, except the superhero doesn’t help other people; he helps himself. What could appeal more to a generation of young consumers raised on celebrity reverence, pill-shaped miracle cures, and the supreme law of instant gratification?

Of course, that’s not to say Limitless is some corrupt production encouraging people to be shitty. At its core, it’s just 90 minutes of dumb fun based on a concept that appeals to anyone who has ever struggled to do anything. Life is hard, yes, but what if you could take a pill and become the most awesome person ever, for whom life is just one big thrill-seeking shit-show and challenge is merely a nine-letter word? That would be great, right? Here’s a movie about it.

Okay. Now what? That’s where things get sticky. The filmmakers seem to have thrown all their resources into answering the question “How cool would it be if” without ever stopping to consider the bigger picture. Once the hero takes the pill, achieves his dreams, kicks the world in the nuts, and turns back to do a victory lap, the only thing left to explore is the rather obvious terrain of the pill’s unforeseen medical side effects. And while watching a person slowly deteriorate under the crippling effects of drug dependence is certainly an interesting sight, it’s not the kind of thing that carries a movie very far. So they introduce some bad guys, too, and the bad guys do bad things, namely trying to steal the hero’s pills.

But wait, isn’t the hero kind of a bad guy too? Isn’t he acting selfishly and cheating at life and using money to solve his problems and all around just being a bit of a dick? No, no, no, because, you see, he’s a good guy. Not only is he super likeable and funny and kind of a goof ball, he also wants to help people. He states quite overtly at one point that he has good intentions — some pre-conceived plan to achieve some greater good with his newfound powers. That plan, however, is never actually explained. We’re force fed the idea that the hero is meant to be a good person, the guy we all root for, but his motivations are vague at best and his ultimate goal — to do something “important” — comes off as just another empty statement designed to advance the plot and keep the film rolling along. It’s as if the filmmakers turned to one another halfway through shooting the movie and thought, “Wait a minute, this guy might come off as kind of a prick. Better make it seem like he has a grand altruistic vision. Can’t think of one? It’s cool. Let’s just never explain it.” And they never do.

Then again, nobody is going to walk into this movie expecting a thought-provoking analysis of society’s bankrupt moral system. People are going to see this movie because it’s kick-ass fantasy — shameless cultural masturbation at its best. Like all masturbation, however, it’s better done in private. Once yo extract the fantasy, blow it up on the big screen, throw in a cast of supporting characters, and tell all your friends about it, you begin to realize just how empty and sad the whole thing really is. Unless you happen to be taking anti-sadness pills, in which case that shit is nothing short of incredible. Boo-yah, bitch! Now where’s my Lamborghini?

Also joining up, (and don’t fall in love here, fellas) is Dale Dickey. You’ll recognize the actress from a wide variety of work including The Winter’s Bone, for which her portrayal of a meth-head won her an Indie Spirt award. Other places you may know her from are “My Name Is Earl” where she played a prostitute, and”Breaking Bad” where she played a… err, another meth-head. Oh, according to her IMDb page she’s done comedy. Here she is listed in a “Funny Or Die” sketch where she played the character of ‘Prostitute’. Goddamn. This poor woman. Her role in Bullshit Night isn’t specified, but let’s go ahead and assume her character’s name is Suck City. (The Playlist)

Director: Neil Burger

Cast: Bradley Cooper, Abbie Cornish, Robert De Niro

Synopsis: A copywriter discovers a top-secret drug which bestows him with super human abilities.

Release Date: March 18, 2011

The book is supposed to be terrific, so let’s hope that even though the film version is chock full of De Niro, Dano, homeless people, and of course, Boston, it doesn’t come out reeking of Oscar bait. (Deadline)

Today we examine the worst films of a cinema legend: Robert De Niro.

De Niro is one of the greatest actors of his, or any, generation. As such, he’s been in some of the most cherished films of all time; The Godfather II, Taxi Driver, and Goodfellas, just to name a few. But at the end of the day, his amazing abilities and his stellar reputation haven’t prevented him from starring in some really, really shitty movies. And while it’s true that you can’t make an omelet without breaking some eggs, there’s really no excuse for shitting all over the frying pan.

OK, maybe that was an awful analogy. But it was better than these awful films deserve.

Analyze That

Analyze This is a severely overrated film. It’s one of several De Niro comedies that relies almost exclusively on the fact that De Niro is the star (Hey, look! It’s Robert De Niro, and he’s being funny! Ha!). That being said, it’s a thousand times better than its sequel, Analyze That.

The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle

When asked if he feared films like The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle might taint his legacy, De Niro replied, “I had a good time on Rocky & Bullwinkle.” I’m glad someone did. Zing!

Godsend

If your young son dies, and Robert De Niro approaches you about resurrecting him via cloning, don’t do it. The same goes for Gregory Peck’s character in The Boy’s From Brazil. But if you’re insistent on the whole cloning thing, go with Peck. Sure, you’ll end up raising a boy Hitler, but it will be a lot more entertaining than the kid from Godsend. And to be honest, boy Hitler is a lot more likable.

Righteous Kill

You’d think a movie starring Robert De Niro and Al Pacino couldn’t be anything less than a classic. Unfortunately, that’s just not the case. Everyone involved in the production was relying on chemistry or magic far too much. The best actors still need material that isn’t crap.

Hide and Seek

Acting wasn’t really the problem with Hide and Seek. The film simply tried a little to hard to have a shocking ending. The filmmakers should have known that when it comes to pointless twist endings, nobody does it better than M. Night, so there’s no point in trying.

Showtime

Unless you have a time machine that can transport you back to 1984, do not, under any circumstances, decide to make a film with Eddie Murphy.

Flawless

What do you get when you cross Robert De Niro playing a stroke victim with a gay cross-dresser? A really bad movie. And much like taking home a real life tranny, if you took this film home expecting a comedy, you might be unpleasantly surprised.

Meet the Fockers

In Meet the Parents, the fact that the main character’s last name is “Focker” is good for a few laughs. In Meet the Fockers, it’s about the only laugh.

Little Fockers

In Meet the Fockers, the fact that the main character’s last name is “Focker” is about the only funny aspect of the film. In Little Fockers, audiences are too busy getting focked to notice the name gag. Get it? “Focked? I should write screenplays.

Apparently, Heigl just adopted some poor kid and was looking for a project that wouldn’t require a huge time commitment. New Year’s Eve fits the bill, since as a follow up to Garry Marshall’s surprise hit Valentine’s Day it’s a big ensemble piece. Just a couple pinches of Heigl, as opposed to a whole dish. Dunno why I went with a food metaphor but whatever. New Year’s Eve will also star (deep breath) Robert De Niro, Sofia Vergara, Russell Peters, Hilary Swank, Ice Cube, Ashton Kutcher, Lea Michele, Michelle Pfeiffer, Zac Efron, Josh Duhamel, Sarah Jessica Parker, Abigail Breslin, Seth Meyers, Jessica Biel and Til Schweiger. (via Deadline)

Buried is one of my favorite movies of last year so I’m definitely excited to what see Cortés does next, lost Olsen triplet or no. (Collider)

We are alone in the universe.

In its second weekend in theaters, Little Fockers made $26 million, bringing its overall total to $103 million, and proving once and for all that there is no god.

True Grit, the critically acclaimed Coen brothers‘ film, came in second with $24.5 million, and Tron: Legacy snagged third with $18 million. But none of this matters, considering we are living in a cold, meaningless world where Little Fockers reigns supreme. Gott ist tot. (Vulture)

There’s hope for Nathan Fillion yet! With a story plotted and lead cast, Uncharted is chugging right along. Oh, except now it doesn’t have a story or a cast.

Uncharted 3 video game director Justin Richmond was interviewed by Joystiq recently and provided some interesting information regarding the film. First, he refutes the reported storyline that would bring Robert De Niro and Joe Pesci in to supply the “family element.” And I don’t mean “family” in the Mafia sense. God, you guys are such racists. Here’s Richmond:

“First of all, all that stuff was denied by David O. Russell,” Richmond said. “He actually called us up and was like, ‘I don’t know what these guys are talking about.’”

Next, Joystiq drops the news that Mark Wahlberg hasn’t been cast just yet.

And Mark Wahlberg isn’t anywhere near to being confirmed to play Nathan Drake either — it’s just Hollywood scuttlebutt, apparently. Still, I dutifully told Richmond that the Joystiq Biomass had chosen, and Nathan Fillion has our vote. Message received, Richmond responded.

I haven’t played the game, so I don’t know if this news is good or not. But you wanna know what is good? Fluffernutters.

I actually liked Meet the Parents and The Fockers. By Little Fockers, it’s even worn off on my forgiving nature. Little Fockers is a clear example of a trilogy running out of steam and repeating itself in part three. At least it’s not an example of the superior second part. That would make Meet the Fockers this trilogy’s Empire Strikes Back.

Greg and Pam Focker (Ben Stiller and Teri Polo) are planning their twins’ fifth birthday party. That’s all the excuse you need for the in-laws to visit, but they go through a list of tasks Greg has to accomplish in his busy suburban life. Drug rep Andi Garcia (Jessica Alba) hires Greg to be the spokesperson for the erectile dysfunction drug Sustengo (get it?) and he needs the money to pay for the kids’ fancy school, Early Human School.

The kooky in-laws are all introduced with annoying schtick. Jack Byrnes (Robert DeNiro) defibrillates himself during a heart attack. Roz Focker (Barbra Streisand) has her own TV show where she talks about musical condoms. Bernie Focker (Dustin Hoffman) is off in Spain mastering flamenco dancing. Roz actually calls Bernie’s late life crisis “MANopause,” and Greg repeats it in case it’s funnier the second time.

The whole movie is a lot of setup for a dumb payoff. An extended dinner table scene goes through an explanation of the Byrnes family tree, Greg cooking turkey, his son Henry’s obsession with lizards, and Greg’s lame attempt at turkey carving, all to pay off with Greg cutting his finger and spraying blood on Jack. A drawn out argument with a construction crew in the backyard leads to Greg trying to move a truck on is own and accidentally dumping a load of sand onto Jack. The crew leader is played by Harvey Keitel, but it’s not the long-awaited Mean Streets reunion you were waiting for.

Pam gets the flu on the day she has to meet the principal of the Early Human School. She actually says, “Honey, what am I going to do?” That’s a sitcom plot beneath “Everybody Loves Raymond.” It’s all so Jack and Greg can go meet Prudence (Laura Dern) together and get mistaken as a couple. At least Prudence sees through homophobia humor. The tables are turned on Jack when he has a five hour erection and Greg has to give him a shot in the dick. It’s come to this, DeNiro as the bitch in a Something About Mary scene.

The film climaxes in a blatant fistfight between Jack and Greg, which may be the confrontation Fockerphiles have been waiting for. The film misses the best opportunity for a payoff when Greg speaks for Sustengo. We hear that he referenced Jack’s lie detector test and his “I’m watching you” schtick. We should see that. That would pay off the entire series. Instead they save it for a gag in the end credits. Make the movie funny before you work on the credits. Plus, there’s a YouTube remix joke that still would have played in the credits if they’d put the actual speech in the movie.

Greg acts more pathetic around his kids than he does around other grown-ups. By the time Jack actually suggests Pam leave Greg for Kevin (Owen Wilson), it’s not cute anymore. Maybe when they were only engaged he was being overprotective, but now he’s talking about breaking up a family. At least this Fockers is only around 95 minutes so there’s less of it.

Hmmm… for a film about unlocking potential, you’d think this wouldn’t look so bland. And what’s with the Lawnmower Man brain graphics? You guys do realize this is playing in theaters, right? I don’t mean to bag on it too hard though. It is a really interesting concept, I’m just not certain it’s done justice by what we’ve seen in this trailer. It’s just that I feel like I’ve seen this movie before, and it starred Jim Carrey.