“See that Kenyan guy with mental eyes? He might be totally normal, you can’t generalize. Black people aren’t crazy. Fat people aren’t lazy. And dwarves aren’t babies. You can’t just pick them up.”

Funnyman Ricky Gervais is in talks to play the (human) lead character in the next installment of the Muppets movie, taking over for Jason Segel, who won’t be acting in or writing this iteration.

Gervais’ role is subject to much speculation as the script is being kept super-duper top secret mostly because people have a tendency to get weird and emotional about the Muppets in a manner that is truly baffling. Disney can’t be blamed in wanting to keep those weirdos at bay.

Anyway, he seems like a through-and-through good guy that would probably do right by Jim Henson, the franchise, Disney, and all those weirdo fans, so I formally request we accept this as good news.

We figured, since he’s so famous, what would happen if some other well known celebs traded places with Phil for the day. Here are the creepy, creepy results. Dreamworks Animation, please don’t steal this idea.

Want more funny photos?

At any rate, bad news for Brett Ratner because he’s about to get roasted. Gervais is indeed back to host The Golden Globes for a third year. The comedian announced the news via Twitter with the post: “Just told Billy Crystal he’d better not use any of my holocaust or pedophile material at The Oscars. He agreed (true).”Let’s all look forward to more uproar. Unless, of course, he shares some controversial opinions about rehearsals. (Deadline)

This project follows The Invention of Lying, a film in which Gervais introduces God to a naive population. Sounds like the tables will be turned this go-round. As Gervais will be the one in need of a little religious education.

The pilot will film in early 2012, so expect some word on it during the upfronts next May, though it’s not certain whether this will be a cable or network show. Gervais will finally answer the age-old question “Is there ‘awkward‘ in heaven?” (EW)

Last night was the much-hyped “Office” season closer, which featured cameos by Jim Carrey, Will Arnett, Gervais himself (via webcam) and oddly enough, Warren Buffett. I guess when Steve Carell leaves your show, you need to plug that celebrity sized hole in your sitcom boat. Catherine Tate (“Dr. Who“) is the current favorite among the producers as a replacement.

Gervais had many critical things to say about the American version of his hit show, because if there’s one thing Gervais shies away from, it’s controversies stemmed from freely speaking his opinions:

“I assume most people know I didn’t do the US remake for the art. I did my version for the art. That’s why I stopped it after a few hours of telly,” Gervais wrote. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m very proud of the US version. It was not only a very very good network comedy but it was also a massive success story. But you know, I did it for different reasons, ambitions and with slightly different emotional attachments to the project.”

Gervais referring to the show in the past tense is interesting. “It was not only…” Well, once you jump a shark, you can’t un-jump it. Third Law of Shark Jumping Physics. (Hollywood Reporter)

Billionaire tycoon Warren Buffett joins the never-ending famous person parade that is”The Office” season finale. Other celebrities making a cameo-or-greater on the episode include Jim Carrey, Ray Romano, Catherine Tate, Will Arnett, James Spader and Ricky Gervais. They’re all interviewing for the coveted position of Scranton branch manager for the paper company Dunder Mifflin. This just goes to show you, if you work hard enough, and become famous enough, you too can interview to become the head of the small Pennsylvania off-shoot of a poorly managed paper company.

The almost-an-hour-long “Office” season finale airs May 20th. (Variety)

Gervais will voice robotic dog Argonaut in this summer’s Spy Kids: All The Time In The World. It’s probably a day’s worth of work for a ton of money, and at least his face won’t be exposed to the camera like co-stars Jessica Alba and Joel McHale. If anyone asks, “were you the dog in Spy Kids 4,” Gervais can just tell them “that was Steve Coogan.” If the person responds, “it didn’t sound anything like Steve Coogan, more like you,” Gervais can awkwardly walk away without addressing him further.

Here’s what Gervais actually said about the role:

“Not only am I lending my voice to Spy Kids but they can keep it,” said Gervais. “I’m sick of it.”

Self-deprecatalicious. The film robo-barks its way into theaters August 19th. Meanwhile, on May 19th you can catch Gervais in the season finale of “The Office” on NBC. (Hollywood Reporter)

Carrey will guest star on an upcoming episode of”The Office.” In the episode, Carrey interviews for the position Steve Carrell‘s Michael Scott leaves. Is a resume with experience like “Pet Detective,” “Mask-Based Superhero” and “Christmas Present Relocation Manager” gonna land him the job as manager of a paper company? Probably not. Carrey will also have stiff competition in the episode from Ricky Gervais, Ray Romano, Catherine Tate, Will Arnett and James Spader. Sounds like this episode could use a few more celebrities. Is James Franco available?

Meanwhile, that begs the question: what’s gonna happen to Will Ferrell‘s character Deangelo Vickers (great name), who’s currently in charge? It’s a bigger office mystery than who takes more than 3 slices of pizza on Pizza Fridays, though many suspect it’s Jason. (EW)

This is good news for people who like good, low-key comedy (which most HBO subscribers are probably used to by now). With chimps! Maybe this season will be enough for a Golden Globe nomination.

Above is a trailer for the series, and below is the brand new poster. The trailer looks good – clearly, we are in for some solid, joke-related chat. The poster I’m not so into. I find it weird that this is a show about comedians talking to each other, and none of them are facing each other in the poster. Gervais is maybe sort of looking Seinfeld, but Seinfeld is too busy looking at nothing to notice him. At least I know from the trailer that they will occasionally make eye contact while speaking. (CinemaBlend)

Each comic answers questions such as: “Who was the first funny kid you ever met?,” “When is it time to add new material to your act?” and “How do you know when you’ve hit on the proverbial ‘thing’ that sets you apart?,” giving quirky insights into what rocketed them to being the best in the business and at the top of their game.

Sounds interesting. Obviously it’d be better to see any one of these four actually performing instead of just talking about performing, but in a medium like television that’s usually a wasteland when it comes to stand up, I’ll take what I can get. “Talking Funny” airs Friday April 22nd at 9pm on HBO. (Cinema Blend)

Producers are taking a page from The Muppets playbook and loading the season finale with guest stars aplenty. As of now, it’s only reported that Arnett and Ricky Gervais (don’t get mad at me for telling you) will appear in the finale. Of course, show insiders warn that doesn’t mean they’ll necessarily be stepping into Carell’s shoes. He, of course, made arrangements with the Wardrobe Department to be able to keep them. (EW)

The show stars longtime Gervais buddy Warwick Davis as the egomaniacal dwarf who runs a talent agency for dwarf actors. Gervais describes the show as a cross between “Extras” and “Curb Your Enthusiasm.” It’s expected to air on HBO.

No word on who Johnny Depp will portray on the show. But let’s all hope he won’t appear as a pirate. (Deadline)

So how does Gervais respond? Awesomely, of course. Today he walked through a field of dog shit and then wiped his dirty boots all over Vilanch’s silly t-shirt collection. Not literally (yet). Gervais updated his blog today with some opening banter for this year’s Oscar hosts James Franco and Anne Hathaway. I much prefer this version to whatever song they end up singing about The King’s Speech or whatever stunt Ben Stiller is going to try to pull with a Banksy mask.

Check it out in its entirety. It’s worth it.

Oh, and good luck to James Franco and Anne Hathaway at The Oscars on Sunday. I know how nervous they must be right now.

They will do an absolutely fantastic job and don’t need my help, but I’ve written a little opening in case they have a few minutes to fill.

(Drum roll)

V.O.
Ladies and Gentlemen.
Please welcome your hosts for this evening…
James Franco and Anne Hathaway

(Music and applause)
(James and Anne walk out looking absolutely perfect)

JF
Hello and welcome to The 83rd Academy Awards,
Live from Los Angeles.

AH
That’s foreign for City of Angels.
And this room is certainly filled will those angels.

(Applause)

JF
Thank you. I’m James Franco.

AH
…and I’m Anne Hathaway.

JF
You probably know me from 127 Hours where I play a man trapped in an enclosed space who decides he would rather cut his own arm off than stay where he was. Now that sounds “way out” but wait till half way through this fucking ceremony and you’ll start to identify with him.

AH
And I’m the new Catwoman. The first white woman to play that role since Michelle Pfeiffer. I want it to be an inspiration to all white people everywhere. Your dreams can come true in Hollywood too.

JF
It’s a daunting task hosting The Oscars but we’re not alone. Presenting awards tonight will be a string of Hollywood legends and some other actors who have a film out in March or April.

JF
Usually they hire comedians to host The Oscars, but tonight, instead, you get us!

AH
No comedians tonight. And do you know why? Because comics are ugly.

JF
Especially that rude obnoxious one who played the Steve Carell part in the English remake on The Office.

AH
But you can all relax because Ricky Gervais is in London…

(Nervous laughter)

He’s doing some charity work.
Yeah, he’s visiting orphans with cancer.
He’s telling them what bald little losers they are…

JF
Yeah, cos he’s rude right?

(Applause)

Thank you.
No rudeness tonight.
It’s going to be a night of the most privileged people in the world being told how brilliant they are and thanking God for loving them more than ugly poor foreigners.

(Applause)

That’s not to say that we don’t care. No, apart from all the great movies we made this year we continued our life-saving philanthropy. Mega stars like Angelina Jolie, George Clooney and Ben Stiller brought light to third world poverty and famine and shocked the world with visions of children so hungry they’d been living off dead beetles all their lives.

AH
Yeah and Yoko Ono said. “What’s wrong with that?”

(Laughter)

JF
Oh Anne you are naughty. In a respectful, wholesome way.

(Nodding and smiling)

That Ricky Gervais should do more for charity.

(Murmurs of agreement)

Ricky Gervais is now worth $80,000,000. The obnoxious Brit confirmed the figure, adding,”Yes and my dentist hasn’t seen a penny.”

AH
Yeah, why doesn’t he get his teeth straightened and bleached like everyone else in Hollywood?

JF
It’s a good question Anne. For the same reason he doesn’t have botox or suck up to important producers – there’s something wrong with him.

AH
There must be. Why isn’t the stocky, fangy, little slob more like us, right?

JF
That ugly dude needs to get a Hollywood makeover, big time.

AH
Quite. And even though most of the actresses here have eating disorders, that’s better than being fat right?

JF
You bet it is gorgeous.

AH
You are so handsome.

JF
Exactly.
You know Ricky Gervais used to be bulimic.

AH
Really?

JF
Yes. He’d often gorge himself for hours with cheese and cakes.

AH
And then vomit right?

JF
No he left that bit out…

(Mild laughter)

AH
That’s because he couldn’t get his fat fucking fingers in his stupid mouth.

(Big laugh)

JF
Anyway let’s get this show on the road.
There were some great kids’ movies this year.
I took a five year old to see Toy Story 3 last week.

AH
Did you enjoy it?

JF
No it was ruined for me because the little brat was screaming and crying all the way through the film saying, “Who are you?” “You’re not my daddy.” “Take me back to the park where you grabbed me…”

(Laughter)

AH
Oh James, you are a card. And your slightly risky jokes are not threatening because you’re one of us. And you are so handsome.

JF
Absolutely.
So let’s get this show on the road.
Our first presenter is a Hollywood legend whose boots Ricky Gervais would not be fit to kiss…
The wonderful…
Mel Gibson…

(Standing ovation)

Vilanch responded by looking like Sweetums the Muppet.

“Had a little meeting with NBC about various things and recommended Will Arnett for a regular in The Office. Thoughts? I think he’s amazing,” Gervais wrote on his blog.

Though Arnett is very funny, I’m hesitant to see his cocky guy character show up in Scranton. I’d be more intrigued to see someone completely unexpected but still capable of delivering the material. Somebody like Christopher Meloni, if he could ever be lured away from the sweet teat of “Law & Order: SVU.” Or maybe my dad. He looks enough like Steve Carrell to fake it. He’s not as funny but, y’know, has his moments.

“[P]articipants over 60 were less able to determine when Ricky Gervais was behaving appropriately, whether he was making a fool of himself by dancing awkwardly or ‘abandoning a wheelchair-bound woman in a stairwell during a fire alarm’”

So the basic lesson here is not to depend on your grandparents to know what to do if a fire breaks out. No word on whether old people are more or less likely to prefer the original version of “The Office” to the American version. (via The AV Club)

I’m sure you recall the OUTRAGE caused by Ricky Gervais lazily acknowledging that Charlie Sheen is a drug addict, Kim Cattrall is wrinkly, and Hugh Hefner’s penis looks like a nine day-old 7-Eleven hot dog. Immediately after the show, the HFPA spoke out to declare he had ‘crossed the line’ and won’t be invited back to host. Then the ratings came in.

Lo and behold, Gervais has been invited back to host. The comedian tells UK‘s Heat magazine, “The ratings were up again and the organizers asked me to consider a third year. I don’t think I should. I don’t know what I could do better. I certainly couldn’t get more press for them, that’s for sure. You know me. Two seasons is enough.”

That’s not to say he can’t come back a third time but refer to it as a Christmas special. Sheen always acts up around the holidays. (via Vulture)

Steve Carell, who did a Ricky Gervais impression when he first started “The Office,” is seen here doing impressions with Ricky Gervais. Racist ones, of course. Given Gervais news as of late, we’ll no doubt hear reports about the comedian bringing Jenna Fischer to tears and getting into a shouting match with the semi-retarded fat guy. If he sticks around long enough, he can punch temporary new boss Will Ferrell in the face. That’d be pretty badass, actually. (Deadline)

David Brent will head to Scranton to square off against Steve Carell’s Michael Scott. Of course, details are really sketchy right now and we don’t know if this will tie in to Carell’s leaving the show but we do know it will be cringe-worthy one way or another.

I’d imagine things would get pretty surreal for Brent when he realizes that he’s surrounded by American versions of all his friends. It could double as an episode of “The Twilight Zone.” (TV Line)

After Gervais slammed Tim Allen before his entrance, Apatow tweeted, “The Santa Clause was better than The Invention of Lying.” Defensive much? Later on, Apatow tweeted, “Ricky Gervais should do an episode of ‘extras’ where he hosts ‘the golden globes‘ and is out of tune. Cut to female friend looking disappointed.” Then he asked his followers to write kinder, less cruel jokes for his hosting gig at the “Producers Guild Awards,” and the winning entries will be read on stage. Here are a few highlights:

@totallymorgan The PGA Awards are so cheap even the host had to crowd-source material.

@alecowen It’s not hard to be funny and not vicious. For example, fuck you.

@isaac_arquieta Were you all REALLY expecting @JuddApatow to pick funny jokes?? Hasn’t done it in over 5 movies, Why would he start now?

From what I’m hearing, most regular folks seemed to enjoy Gervias’ performance and some tweeted Apatow back statements like, “@JuddApatow seems surprisingly bitter.” Later, Apatow revealed he was tweeting at 2 am. I’ll chalk this up to another case of “sleep before you tweet.” (Collider)

Ricky Gervais tries to put the rumors to rest by saying, “everyone took it well and the atmosphere backstage and at the after show was great.” So everything was hunky-dory, even after the gasp-inducing joke about Scientologists? (Gasp! Nobody’s made fun of Tom Cruise for being secretly gay before!) Apparently, the disappearance was just weird scheduling:

“There just happened to be a long gap. This is because I was allowed to choose who I would introduce in advance. I obviously chose presenters who I had the best jokes for. (And who I knew had a good sense of humor).”

That’s very different from what Gervais said after the show: “I probably won’t be here next year.” Or Robert Downey Jr.’s on-stage retort about his hosting style as being, “hugely mean-spirited with mildly sinister undertones.” Or more tellingly, what Hollywood Foreign Press Association President Philip Berk grunted out: “Some of the things he said were totally unacceptable.” Hmm… These quotes don’t tell the same story. Perhaps the man who ‘invented’ lying is also really, really bad at it. (Hollywood Reporter)

After Ricky Gervais’ hilarious but controversial performance at last night’s Golden Globes, there’s very little chance we’ll see him hosting next year. The comedian told USA Today that at last year’s ceremony, he was asked to return even before the broadcast had finished. This year, he received no such offer.

“So I probably won’t be here next year,” Gervais said, before adding that if he were invited back, “[he’d] go (expletive) mental.”

But without Gervais, what the hell is the point of watching? His shock value is the show’s only redeeming quality. If I feel like watching a bunch of movie stars kissing each other’s asses, I can just wait for the Oscars. I (reluctantly) watch he Golden Globes because a celebrity or two might get put in their place.

If the Golden Globes have any hope of staying relevant, they’d better find a host who can fill Ricky’s shoes. Here’s a list of 9 possible replacements.

Norm MacDonald
The nice thing about Norm MacDonald is he already has experience hosting an awards show. And unlike Gervais, Norm isn’t afraid to make a joke or two about double homicide or statutory rape.

Lisa Lampanelli
Insult comic Lisa Lampanelli hosted this year’s AVN Awards (a.k.a. the porn Oscars), which means she already has experience playing MC to a bunch of whores. That’s a skill which will come in handy at the Golden Globes.

Kathy Griffin
I’m not big fan of Kathy Griffin, but she’s not afraid to make a dick sucking joke on live TV, and that goes a long way in my book.

Don Rickles
Don Rickles has got to be pushing 90. Why not give the old guy an insult filled send off as the host of the Golden Globes. If he goes too far, he can always blame it on the Alzheimer’s.

Jeffrey Ross
This year, Ricky Gervais was prevented from wearing a Nazi uniform during his opening monologue. Given Jeffery Ross’ penchant for holocaust jokes, I’m sure he’d be a fine replacement.

Tracy Morgan
They serve alcohol at the Golden Globes, which means Tracy Morgan should do just fine as host. Besides, his insults might go unnoticed, because half the time, no one can understand what the hell he’s saying.

Louis C.K.
When it comes to putting pretentious people in their place, Louis C.K. doesn’t pull any punches. And there’s probably not a more pretentious gathering than the Golden Globes (aside from the Oscars).

Gilbert Gottfried
If Robert Downy Jr. has a problem with this year’s host making fun of him, perhaps he’ll be happier with Gilbert Gottfried. He makes Ricky Gervais look like Billy f**king Crystal.

Triumph the Insult Comic Dog
He’s witty, he’s crass, but above all, he’s not afraid to poop on a celebrity or two. That makes Triumph the Insult Comic Dog the perfect host for the Golden Globes. He’ll treat that room full of phonies like the bitches they are.

The Golden Globes are a joke, and everyone knows it. A lot of people like to get worked up about this fact. I used to be one of those people. But now, thanks in part to Wellbutrin, I no longer care, and I accept the show for what it truly is: masturbation.

But you know what? Masturbation can be fun, and the Golden Globes are no exception. Throughout the years, they have made for some pretty entertaining moments, which is probably due, in no small part, to the fact that the attendees are allowed to drink. So rather than bitching and moaning about how the whole thing is pointless (as compared to what, life?), lets just sit back and enjoy these nine ‘WTF’ moments from Golden Globes past.

Scarlett Johansson Groped
Back in 2006, Isaac Mizrahi had the pleasure of interviewing Scarlett Johansson as she walked the red carpet. Mizahi, who is openly gay, took the liberty of groping her left breast as he complimented her dress. If I touched Johansson’s tits, they’d lock me away. But just because this guy loves boners he can fondle her with impunity. What a crock of sh*t! Johansson later said the incident was in bad taste. I’m assuming she was talking about the award show in general, not just the boob grab.

You know, thirty years ago, people would have hated Isaac Mizrahi for being openly gay. Today, people only hate him because he works for E! That’s what I call progress.

Christine Lahti Is Too Busy Taking a Dump
In 1998, Christine Lahti was honored with a Golden Globe Award for her work on the medical drama, “Chicago Hope,” which is better known as the ugly cousin of “ER.” But when it came time to accept the statue, she was no where to be found. As it turns out, she was in the bathroom dropping a deuce (that means pooping), which is a fitting metaphor for the Golden Globes. But at least the gaffe allowed the irrepressible Robin Williams to make an inbreeding joke at the expense of the South. He was between that and a joke about Asians, but ultimate went with the Southern joke, probably cause Asians know kung-fu and shit. Am I right? Am I right? Stereotyping is fun!

Ving Rhames Gives Away His Award
It’s rare to see a genuine heartfelt moment at an awards show, especially a show as contrived as the Golden Globes. But in 1998, Ving Rhames was overcome with emotion after winning an award for his performance in the HBO movie, Don King: Only In America. Rhames thanked his fellow nominees, and singled out actor Jack Lemmon in particular. After calling Lemmon to the stage, Rhames insisted he take the award instead, and after much coaxing, Lemmon obliged. It was a memorable moment, sullied only by the fact that the award is meaningless.

The Rat Pack Storms the Stage
In 1958, Frank Sinatra and company were at the Golden Globe awards, drinking heavily. Apparently, they weren’t to thrilled with whoever was hosting the event. Maybe it was the alcohol, or the fact that Frank Sinatra was allowed to do whatever the hell he wanted, but the group decided to storm the stage and act as MCs for the rest of the show. It went over so well, that the group was asked to return the following year, or at least that’s what Moviefone tells me. Sorry there’s no clip, but the Golden Globes weren’t televised until 1964.

Tom Arnold Acts Like a Coked Up Asshole
In this classic clip from the 1996 show, Tom Arnold made a complete ass of himself while trying to mock his ex-wife, comedian Rosanne (I’m not sure if she has a last name at this point). The actor’s first joke to actress Teri Hatcher (want to be in a movie?) came off as creepy, and the rest of his act went over about as well as a Jew joke at an AIPAC convention. Watch for yourself, if you have the stomach. It’s amazing that Ricky Gervais can pull off this type of humor.

Isaiah Washington Drops the F-Bomb (No, The Other F-Bomb)
When being questioned about behind-the-scenes tension on the set of “Grey’s Anatomy,” actor Isaiah Washington decided to set the record straight once and for all, and inject a little levity into the situation at the same time. Unfortunately, his use of the word “fag” went over about as well as a gay joke at Elton John‘s house. Wow, I’m on a real simile kick. At any rate, Washington was booted from the show shortly after. Blame it on the Gay Mafia.

Ricky Gervais Mocks Mel Gibson
At the time, Ricky Gervais’ joke about Mel Gibson’s drinking was hilarious. Just one year later, it seems even more profound. While I doubt Mel will be attending this year’s ceremony, I’m 100% certain Gervais will have something good in store for him. Blow jobs, domestic violence, racial slurs; the possibilities are endless.

Bette Midler Talks About Her Breasts, Mimics Fellatio
Some guys think Bette Midler is sexy. We call them gay guys. I’m not saying she isn’t talented, but Bathhouse Betty has all the sex appeal of Kevin James, and smaller tits to boot. That’s what makes this clip from 1980 so disturbing.

Pia Zadora’s Husband Buys Her An Award
In what is widely considered the biggest WTF moment in Golden Globe history, Pia Zadora took home the “Newcomer-of-the-Year” award in 1981. While that might not seem like a big deal, the film she won for, Butterfly, had not yet been released, meaning she wasn’t even eligible for the award.

As it turns out, Zadora’s husband, multimillionaire Meshulam Riklis, had basically bought off the judges with expensive trips to Vegas and lavish meals at his home. Since then, the Golden Globes have had about as much credibility as the AVN awards. But in all fairness, the Golden Globes have bigger whores.

Pictured above: Ricky Gervais and a mole

Ricky Gervais will loan his lilting voice to Mole in WETA‘s production of The Wind In The Willows. The story follows four animals being polite to one another and drinking tea for 90 minutes in the English countryside. Or something.

Okay, quick question: how the hell did it take this long to cast Ricky Gervais as a mole? Did he have laryngitis when they were recording voices for Fantastic Mr. Fox? Or was he just waiting for the right mole role? This doesn’t make sense.

Just like it didn’t make sense that Morgan Freeman had been a working actor for 45 years before he was cast as Nelson Mandela. Either these casting types are blind or too nice. (Variety)

Deep breath before his Mel Gibson material.

When Ricky Gervais hosted the Golden Globes earlier this year, he kept saying he’d never be invited back. He let loose with celebrity roasting, but now he is coming back to host again on January 16. Gervais told a conference call full of reporters that he plans to be even bolder with his jokes this time.

“I just think I can really go out and really throw away the shackles of worry,” Gervais said. “I don’t mean I’m going to go get drunk and have no planning or input, but I think I can certainly have more fun with it and I can have more fun with the room.”

Whoever is tapped to present at the show will likely be the prime targets for Gervais. “My favorite things I said were probably the introductions, the one liners about the people. The Mel Gibson gag, the Paul McCartney gag, the Colin Farrell gag, the Jennifer Aniston gag. If I can get more of that type of thing that’s cheeky, a little bit naughty and risqué but not nasty, then I’ll be happy but I think I can take it a bit further. I think people know where I’m coming from now. I’ve done enough of these award things like the Emmys and the Globes where they know what I’m doing. Hopefully I won’t blow that either way saying something that’s so horrendous I’ll never work again. Even worse, doing something that’s so anodyne I’ll never work again.”

For all his fearless ribbing of his Hollywood cohorts, Gervais actually felt he held back last year. He won’t make that mistake again. “I also gave myself this weird restriction. I wrote it a few days before in about an hour, all the lines. If you noticed, all the lines are about the people that are about to come out. I realized I can reference anyone in the room. I probably made it harder than myself so I’m going to have even more fun with it, go a bit further, push the boundaries a bit more. I think you always should. What’s the worst that could happen? I didn’t expect to be invited back a second time and I won’t do it a third, so I’m going to go for it.”

Gervais is equally happy with a shocking remark as he is with a round of applause. So not everything he says will have to be funny, as long as it makes a point. “Yeah, because I think comedy and drama are different branches of the same tree. It doesn’t matter whether you’re watching a horror film or hearing a joke. It’s the surprise that’s the good bit, the thing you didn’t expect. Comedy is a release. Let’s not forget that. That’s why we do it because it’s the industry that’s built out of humor obviously. The reason we have humor is to get through. The reason we have humor in our evolution is to get us through adversity.”

If he hurts anyone’s feelings, Gervais does want them to know he’s coming from a place of love. Like any good roast, he teases out of affection. Still, sometimes he shocks himself.

“Oh, well, you have these dark thoughts and you go why did that come into my brain? As I said before, there is a constant fight in my head with what’ll go down well and what won’t. It comes from a good or a bad place. If people know where you’re coming from and what the target really is, you can get away with murder. Cue O.J. Simpson joke. I don’t use it as a platform to get political or get my own back on the world. I’m hosting a party. It’s a televised industry party so you’ve got to keep it light, but as I say, that’s not to say you can go out and do awfully flat broad anodyne homogenized reworked material. I think you can be original, push the boundaries a little bit and still come in lined with taste and decency. But you can’t win. Everyone’s got their own little cause. Everything has got what they find offensive.”

As the star on the American remake of Gervais’ baby, The Office, Steve Carell always has to ready himself for Gervais’ public appearances. On this call, Gervais admitted he only has kind thoughts towards Carell.

“Steve Carell is like a goose that lays golden eggs. Now we need some other schmuck to get up at 6 in the morning for seven years.”

The Golden Globes airs Jan. 16 on NBC.

Will The Office bring in Billy Connolly or Sandy Duncan to take over Dunder Mifflin from Steve Carell? Creator of the British Office and executive producer on the American one, Ricky Gervais said we’re all thinking wrong. Yes, Carell is leaving The Office at the end of this year, but whoever comes in will be good for the show, not the reporters.

“There’s a lot of talk about who’s going to replace Steve Carrell,” Gervais said in a conference call for his hosting gig at the Golden Globes. “You shouldn’t think like that. Steve Carrell’s an actor. You should think who’s replacing Michael Scott. You’ve got to suspend your disbelief. It’s meant to be a fake documentary. It’s all about the story. Even though we talk about what’s going on behind the scenes and we know Steve Carrell’s an actor, he’s not really a paper merchant in Scranton.”

Gervais even hinted that the new guy might not even be someone we’ve heard of before. “The replacement should be a credible replacement in the story, not if he’s going to be as big a star. When we did The Office we were all unknowns which was perfect for the show. Of course now we’re famous as are all the people in the American Office. You’ve got to do the show the service. It mustn’t be about the politics and the business and what people write about it. It’s got to stand alone one day. You’ve got discover this 1000 years from now in a cave, put it in a player and enjoy it the way it is. There’s too much peeking behind the curtain and everyone worried about what everyone gets paid. You should love it for the work and that should be a surprise. So I’m not saying anything. I think viewers can expect if The Office carries on that it can be as good.”

Season two of HBO’s The Ricky Gervais Show is coming in January for more animated depictions of Karl Pilkington’s philosophy. “It’s better than the first [season],” Gervais said. “The first got better and better I think and this sort of started where it left off but it’s much better. We’ve really hit the ground running and we’v taken a lot more liberties with the direction of the piece. It really adds to the audio now. In the first one, we were quite cautious that we didn’t want to take away from the audio but now we know what adds and subtracts. Everything we do really adds to it.”

You’ll notice Gervais taking Pilkington to the next level with the very first episode. “The first episode will straight away show you the difference with the ambition of the animation, let alone the things we’ve chosen. We’ve gone everywhere with all the stuff we’ve ever done. The first one we did in order. Now we’ve picked the best chunks and woven it in. I hope it goes down even better than the first season.”

If you’ve heard the podcasts, you may already know the story of Pilkington’s pitch to a movie studio. Just wait until you see them animate the movie he describes. “The great thing about episode one is a film company called Karl in, heard him on the radio and called him for ideas. It’s where he comes up with the worst idea for a movie ever. A man puts half his brain into his wife’s body, starring Rebecca DeMornay who he says we haven’t seen in 15 years, and Clive Warren who doesn’t even exist. We see the movie animated because they’re making it.”

Ricky Gervais is looking to break ground on "The Office" in the Far East. "We are about to start work on developing a Chinese "The Office,"" the comedian wrote on his blog Thursday.

The co-creator of the British and American version, and star of the former, will have to consider the difference in social mores between the countries. For instance, are bobbleheads even allowed in China offices, or is a minature plastic figure with a head that foolishly swings side to side a disgrace to formal business practices? I can’t imagine a boss with a carefree management style such as Michael Scott would last very long as the head of a branch. In America, they give you a slap on the wrist for accidently spouting racist slurs. In China, your family is forced to disown you. At least, that’s what SJ’s China correspondent tells me. Or I assume, since I don’t bother translating his emails. (THR)

Renowned Elmo tormentor Ricky Gervais has teamed again with his The Office/Extras co-creator Stephen Merchant to write and direct Cemetery Junction. And… and… honestly, I have no idea what it’s about. I watched this trailer four times now and couldn’t understand a word of it. Is that a real language that they’re speaking? If so, is it called Chimney Sweep?? Here’s what the studio claims it is about:

Cemetery Junction, set in 1970s England, follows three blue-collar friends who spend their days joking, drinking and chasing girls. Freddie (Christian Cooke) wants to leave their working-class world, but cool, charismatic Bruce (Tom Hughes) and lovable loser Snork (Jack Doolan) are happy with life the way it is.

Okay. That’s what they claim. But to me this could just as easily be a movie about the formation of The Beatles. Or the Stones. Or Wayne Fontana and the Mindbenders. I CAN’T F***ING TELL!!

Watch the trailer after the jump, and please provide translation in the comments section.

Cemetery Junction Trailer – Watch more Movie Trailers

Directors: Ricky Gervais & Stephen Merchant

Cast: Ricky Gervais, Ralph Fiennes, Matthew Goode, Emily Watson

Synopsis: A 1970s-set comedy centered on three upstart professional men working at an insurance company.