Goodbye to one of the greats. The man could take a bowling ball to the head with the best of them.

His career began as an actor before leading to stunt coordinating which in turn eventually lead to directing. While best known for pitting Samuel L. Jackson against poisonous snakes at 30,000 feet in Snakes On A Plane, his best film is Final Destination 2. The sequel raised the bar on gore and splatter in the series and remains the pinnacle of what those films can be. Say what you will about his other films, Shark Night 3D, Cellular, the idiotically NASCAR-based The Final Destination, but it’s only appropriate to play him off with his greatest work — the spectacular car crash from Final Destination 2. Our condolences.

According to family members, Jet Set, who lived in Pasadena, California, stopped by a convenience store close to midnight on December 13th.

His sister, Shirley Coleman, said Jet Set went into the store and purchased an Alka Seltzer, a bottle of water, and some milk.

“The clerk in the store said he was sweating really bad, and was in a hurry.

“The clerk said he paid for the items with a $20, and ran out to his car before receiving his change. When the clerk ran out to his car to give him his change, he found Jessie B. slumped to one side inside his car.”

Ms. Coleman said when paramedics arrived on the scene minutes later, he was pronounced dead. Preliminary indications are Jet Set died of a heart attack. (Via)

All in all, he seemed to be a really great guy and we’ll all miss him.

If only, he’d masturbated a little harder.

Have we as a nation forgotten Billy Mays?

Rather I should ask, have we moved on from Billy? Let’s take a look at how the world has changed without its most charismatic salesman.

The Nation

Today’s headlines are dominated by the news that Obamacare has been passed by the Supreme Court. In a 5-4 victory, the Court upheld the bill which means every American will now have to buy healthcare by 2014, and those with existing conditions will no longer be faced with prejudices.

The Media

Ann Curry gave a tearful farewell on The Today Show this morning. Suspicions have been that Curry was blamed for the show’s sagging ratings, and she was reassigned out of co-anchor chair. This was confirmed by her farewell speech. Ann Curry is a peach and didn’t deserve this treatment. But what do you expect from the network that consistently stiffed Conan O’Brien in favor of Jay Leno? Thank goodness Billy wasn’t around to see this.

Technology

Since Billy May’s passing, our whites have lost their gleam, our putties are a bit less mighty, our hooks less Herculean. But that’s not to say that there haven’t been wonderful advances. We all now carry a personal assistant around with us in our pockets thanks to Apple’s Siri. It means we’ll never have to use our fingers to text again nor have to deal with the complicated mechanics involved with converting ounces to pounds. We’re practically higher beings now.

But that’s not all! The last few years have given blessed the world with several bounties. The Bladeless Fan is now all the rage (though you can’t use it to immitate Darth Vader), we can clone and genetically alter our pets, and the WorldFirst F3 project has created a racing car made from food items. It’s an edible racecar. There’s even an Amtrak train that runs on rendered cattle fat. Take that, Henry Ford!

Entertainment

Clive Owen has been replaced by a guy named Michael Fassbender, and a silent film won Best Picture at the Academy Awards.

************

But let’s now take a look at the lives Mays touched directly. Surely, their finding ways to honor the man and keep his torch lit.

Anthony Sullivan & Vince Offer

The beef continues.

It’s no secret that Mays was not a fan of Vince Offer after he publicly called him out and challenged him to a “pitch off” on the Adam Carolla Show. The feud started after Mays rose to prominence with products like his Zorbeez and Quick Chop. Then, failed filmmaker Vince Shlomi rebirthed himself as Infomercial pitchman Vince Offer, with products like ShamWow and Slap Chop — both direct rip-offs of Zorbeez and Quick Chop. The hatchet would not be buried before Mays passed away.

Instead, the hatchet was picked up by Billy’s former business partner Anthony Sullivan. Who has now reverse-Offered Offer by releasing a commercial for Sticky Buddy, a product that’s a blatant (and improved) version of Vince’s Schticky.

I have to admit, I’m pro-Sticky Buddy. It’s just a better value and Anthony Sullivan doesn’t punch women in the face. Okay. This Sticky Buddy parody may have helped put me over the top too.

His Son

Billy’s son, Billy Mays III, has found a way to both honor his father and give back to the fans. #WheresBillyMays is a website he founded where he curates interesting and respectful tributes to his dad found across the Internet. Like this awesome one:

If anything, it serves as a daily reminder that Billy Mays might be gone but he is in no way forgotten.

The 71-year old essayist and dry skin opponent was seeking treatment for acute myeloid leukemia these past few weeks. However, this condition brought on a case of pneumonia which she would not recover from. She passed in a Manhattan hospital on Tuesday night. Another patient there commented, “I won’t have what she’s having.” They were later asked to leave.

Nora Ephron will be missed for her wit, charm, and good humor. She is survived by Meg Ryan.

Jones joined The Monkees in 1965 when producers were looking to cast a scripted series about a rock band. Along with Micky Dolenz, Michael Nesmith, and Peter Tork, the quartet scored three number one hits — “Daydream Believer,” “I’m a Believer,” and “Last Train to Clarksville.”

They also came together to show their more serious side by creating the tripped-out experimental, Jack Nicholson-penned film Head, as a counter to the films The Beatles were creating at the time.

Jones is survived by his wife and four daughters. (TMZ)

While best known for her singing career, Houston was also famous for her acting work in films such as The Bodyguard and Waiting to Exhale. According to CNN, she was set to appear in an upcoming remake of Sparkle, which would have been her first movie role since 1996.

R.I.P.

Actor Ben Gazzara has passed away from pancreatic cancer at the age of 81. You probably remember him best as pornographer Jackie Treehorn in the Coen Brothers‘ classic, The Big Lebowski, or as monster-truck owning small-town dictator Brad Wesley in Road House. In fact, if you don’t know Gazzara from at least one of those roles, you are an awful person who needs to reassess his or her life.

Of course, I don’t want to reduce the man down to two roles in a career that lasted nearly 60 years, and included both stage and screen. But I’ll always remember him for bringing JCPenney’s to town, and for making great strides in the field of interactive erotic software. The wave of the future, Dude. One hundred percent electronic!

R.I.P.

Mr. Anderson was 89 when he passed on New Year’s Day. Police are currently questioning Connor MacLeod. (NY Daily News)

Apart from his acting accomplishments, Cheetah also holds the oldest non-human primate record in the Guinness Book, living to reach the age of 80. The normal life expectancy for a chimpanzee in captivity is 35 to 40 years of age.

He spent his golden years at the Suncoast Primate Sanctuary in Palm Harbor, Florida alongside aside a myriad of other retired film and zoo animals who had no place else to go. You can donate here if you would like to pay your respects and help better the lives of these animals.

Now, I bet you’re wondering why I’m being so insensitive about Hitchens’ death, especially given that he hasn’t even been gone for 24 hours. Well, I’m simply proving a point. While everyone, friend and foe alike, lines up to kiss his ass, let’s remember that Christopher Hitchens was never one to pull punches, even in the wake of someone’s death. In fact, he had absolutely no qualms with speaking ill of the dead if he felt they deserved it. So, as a tribute to the late-great author, here are five scathing obituaries written by Christopher Hitchens.

Rest in peace… you filthy trotskyite. You will be missed.

Not Even a Hedgehog: The stupidity of Ronald Reagan.

A good rule of thumb when writing an obituary is to avoid words like “stupid” in the title. Also, comparing the recently deceased to a woodland rodent is usually frowned upon, as well. But that didn’t stop Hitch from doing it, and to a former president, no less.

He was as dumb as a stump. He could have had anyone in the world to dinner, any night of the week, but took most of his meals on a White House TV tray. He had no friends, only cronies. His children didn’t like him all that much. He met his second wife—the one that you remember—because she needed to get off a Hollywood blacklist and he was the man to see. Year in and year out in Washington, I could not believe that such a man had even been a poor governor of California in a bad year, let alone that such a smart country would put up with such an obvious phony and loon.

Read the full obituary.

What’s most interesting about this piece is that by the end, Hitchens actually seems to be complimenting Reagan on some of his accomplishments, admitting the successes of his presidency even while deriding the man himself. I’d hate to see how he treats someone he complete disrespects (see Jerry Falwell).

Hopeless: Did Bob Hope ever say anything funny?

Who in the hell would want to speak ill of Bob Hope? Christopher Hitchens, apparently.

To be paralyzingly, painfully, hopelessly unfunny is not a particular defect or shortcoming in, say, a cable repair man or a Supreme Court justice or a Navy Seal. These jobs can be performed humorlessly with no loss of efficiency or impact. But to be paralyzingly, painfully, hopelessly unfunny is a serious drawback, even lapse, in a comedian. And the late Bob Hope devoted a fantastically successful and well-remunerated lifetime to showing that a truly unfunny man can make it as a comic. There is a laugh here, but it is on us.

Read the full obituary.

Jerry Falwell: Faith-Based Fraud

Again, as a rule, it’s not a good idea to include the word “fraud” in the title of an obituary, even if the deceased was a fraud. But considering Hitchens uses the term “carcass” in the first line, “fraud” was probably about the nicest thing we could have expected.

…there is no vileness that cannot be freely uttered by a man whose name is prefaced with the word Reverend. Try this: Call a TV station and tell them that you know the Antichrist is already on earth and is an adult Jewish male. See how far you get. Then try the same thing and add that you are the Rev. Jim-Bob Vermin. “Why, Reverend, come right on the show!

Read the full obituary.

Osama Bin Laden: Death of a Madman

Finally, a scathing obituary almost everyone can agree on. However, given Hitchens’ deep contempt for Islamic extremists, it’s surprising that this obituary didn’t rejoice more in Bin Laden’s death. Granted, he had been writing about the danger posed by Jihadists even before September 11th, so by the time Bin Laden was killed, it was almost anticlimactic. But it’s still strange to see more vitriol poured out in an obituary to Bob Hope than in an article about the man behind 9-11.

…he and his fellow psychopaths did succeed in killing thousands in North America and Western Europe, but in the past few years, their main military triumphs have been against such targets as Afghan schoolgirls, Shiite Muslim civilians, and defenseless synagogues in Tunisia and Turkey. Has there ever been a more contemptible leader from behind, or a commander who authorized more blanket death sentences on bystanders?

Read the full obituary.

Mother Teresa and Princess Diana

OK, technically speaking, these quotes aren’t from obituaries, so I apologize. But to make up for that fact, I’m giving you a two for one. Do the math, people. That’s a good deal.

To most, Mother Teresa was a saint. And for millions of people, her title of “saint” is quite literal, or at least it will be once the Catholic Church gets around to making it official. But as you can imagine, Hitchens was never a big fan of the Catholic Church. In fact, I once heard a right-wing pundit quip that Hitch would be just as happy to see a war on the Vatican as he was to see a war on Islamic extremists.

Hyperbole aside, the man did not like organized religion, and as one of Catholicism’s most well known proponents, Mother Teresa was on his hit list. He took particular issue with the fact the she urged the poor to accept their lot in life, and accepted donations to her charity from unscrupulous sources, including the Duvalier dictatorship in Haiti.

In the wake of Mother Teresa’s death, which was only a few days after the death of Princess Diana (who was also not one of his favorite people), Hitchens gave the follwoing quote.

Words to avoid this week, or perhaps any week from now on: ‘idol’ and ‘icon’. These once meant only the show-biz versions of graven-image worship, or the cult of mortal beings. Now they mean the real thing. And spiritual and secular leaderships compete to prostrate themselves. By the way, what have we ‘chosen’ for our idols and icons? A simpering Bambi narcissist and a thieving, fanatical Albanian dwarf. Nice going.

Aside from M*A*S*H, Morgan also starred in films such as To the Shores of Tripoli and High Noon. And some people might remember him as Officer Bill Gannon from, Dragnet. Of course those people are really old, and don’t know how to use the Internet, so I'm not sure why I bothered to type that.

At any rate, our thoughts and prayers go out to his family, who are, no doubt, avid Screen Junkies readers.

R.I.P.

Nah, on the reals, the guy was a pretty amazing director, though you could be forgiven for having never heard of his stuff. He was a pretty hot property back in your parents’ day. His later career was marked by films shot on video at his house starring himself. Sadly, we are not even kidding. If you’re unacquainted with this British auteur of high weirdness, we’re going to be kind enough to introduce you to some of his work. Here are a few places to get started with the late, great Ken Russell.

Tommy (1975)

This psychedelic classic almost came a little too late for Ken Russell. Still, the psychedelia of the film seems far more 70′s than the previous decade, which gave us the album. Ann-Margaret received a Golden Globe win and an Academy Award nomination for this film, which screened at Cannes, but was not part of the competition. Russell also wrote the script with Pete Townshend, mastermind of The Who. The list of stars in this film is unwieldy — Roger Daltrey and Ann-Margaret, supported by Elton John, Eric Clapton, Jack Nicholson and Tina Turner. The film is more than a little intense, visually speaking, and you’ll probably turn off your DVD player wondering if you just went on an acid trip.

Altered States (1980)

Loosely based on the real story of John C. Lily (the dude who brought us the drug ecstasy), Altered States stars William Hurt as an academic exploring other states of consciousness. Throughout the course of the film, Edward Jessup (the Lily analogue) experiments with sensory deprivation chambers, Ayahuasca, Amanita muscaria and a mystery tincture that turns him into some sort of ape man. It’s widely considered one of Russell’s stand out moments, with the visual and story-telling elements all pitch perfect.

Salome’s Last Dance (1988)

Salome’s Last Dance is based on some play you probably read and forgot in high school or in college. It’s about how a prostitute made the King of Judea behead John the Baptist… you know, the dude with the dreads who baptized Jesus. The film has all the classic Ken Russell tropes: Garish colors, bizarre costumes, overdramatic performances and high weirdness. Everyone in the film plays two different characters, and the “play” part of the film is bookended by a part with Oscar Wilde going to see it.

The Lair of the White Worm (1988)

For those of you who like updated versions of ancient myths, there’s The Lair of the White Worm. Look for an embarrassingly young Hugh Grant as the Lord of the Manor where an ancient worm is wreaking havoc on the English countryside. This is one of those movies you probably used to see in the “Horror” section at Blockbuster Video when you were about eight, and wondered what the hell it was about. It turns out it’s not just the snake people have to worry about, but an insane cult dedicated to maintaining its worship in the modern age.

Whore (1991)

This was pretty much the last movie Russell made that anyone cared about. After this, he basically retired to England with his camcorder and made fan fiction.

Based on a script written by a London taxi driver, Russell intended this to be an answer to Pretty Woman, which he believed glorified prostitution. The movie didn’t do very well. Did you think some weird-ass movie called Whore that got an NC-17 rating would? It was retitled for family-friendly video stores as If You Can’t Say It… Just See It? This is kind of an awesome date movie, actually. It’s a hell of a lot better than Pretty Woman, which might actually be the worst film ever made.

Honorable Mention: “It’s All Coming Back To Me Now” (1996)

Proof that true trolls know how to troll themselves, Ken Russell directed the video to Celine Dion’s “It’s All Coming Back To Me Now.” We get that Screen Junkies is a hot den of snark and you’re loath to believe us, but we couldn’t be more straight with you than we’re being right now.

This is always a difficult time of year to pass away. I’m predicting we’ll see more than a few Charles Napier costumes this Halloween.

Having previously served as the chief executive of Pixar Animation Studios, Jobs helped to radically redefine what an animated film can be. Breathtaking visuals weren’t enough. There needed to be heart as well. This ethic lead to the creation of several memorable characters and unforgettable films. Films that have impacted children and adults alike.

Jobs will be sorely missed but will live on as a symbol of invention and ingenuity. Our condolences to those who loved him and those he loved. This is sadder than the first ten minutes of Up.

The Emmy-winning legend began writing jokes for Bob Hope before launching the world famous television sitcoms and writing their songs that I now can’t get out of my head. He was working on a big screen Gilligan’s Island when he fell ill last week. He is survived by his wife of 69 years and their four children and the Harlem Globetrotters. (AP)

Though best known for his role as the trench-coated detective (a role that would win him four Emmys), Falk was also memorable for his performances in films like The Princess Bride and Murder By Death. In 1961, he became the first actor nominated for an Oscar and an Emmy in the same year, receiving best supporting nominations for the movie Murder, Inc., and the TV show “The Law and Mr. Jones.” He followed up in 1962 by being doubly nominated again for supporting actor for the movie Pocketful of Miracles and best actor (he won) for “The Price of Tomatoes,” which was an episode of “The Dick Powell Theatre.”

Kevin Pollak is going to have to find a new impersonation.

The likable prankster Dunn is best known for shoving a matchbox car up his rectum before receiving an X-ray in the first Jackass movie and for his appearances on several MTV shows including “Viva La Bam.” Hours before the accident, Dunn posted a picture of he and friends tying one on at the bar. It’s believed that he was drunk at the time of the accident and was absolutely not goaded by Johnny Knoxville to wear a blindfold while driving.

If this is true, it sucks to see someone lose their life in a way that could have been so easily prevented. And it really sucks to see them take somebody else with them. (TMZ)

A veteran of over 500 non-Uncle Leo stage, film, and television roles, Lesser drew acclaim in recent years for his work with the Los Angeles classical repertory company A Noise Within. He was credited with nearly stealing the production of Awake and Sing! this past spring.

The actor died yesterday from pneumonia related to cancer. However, investigators aren’t ruling out involvement from Fake Kim Kardashian in this case. (THR)