Screen Junkies » Psycho http://www.screenjunkies.com Movie Reviews & TV Show Reviews Wed, 06 Aug 2014 16:57:44 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 10 Iconic Movie Lines, If They Were Written Today http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/10-iconic-movie-lines-if-they-were-written-today/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/10-iconic-movie-lines-if-they-were-written-today/#comments Fri, 11 Jul 2014 12:50:31 +0000 Jared Jones http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=video&p=262898 We live in an era of rapidly deteriorating linguistic abilities (translation: words b hard), where the appreciation for an eloquently-delivered turn of phrase is at an all time low.

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By Jared Jones

We live in an era of rapidly deteriorating linguistic abilities (translation: words b hard), where the appreciation for an eloquently-delivered turn of phrase is at an all time low. For every hour that The Learning Channel is allowed to continuing airing reality shows about polygamist midgets suffering from bipolar schizophrenia, or delusional, cupcake-baking Long Island housewives who communicate with ghosts, the IQ of the average earthling drops 10 points, thrusting our collective vocabulary ever closer to the monosyllabic, hybrid hillbilly and valley girl grunts uttered by the mouth-breathing troglodytes depicted in Idiocracy (*accepts award for greatest sentence ever written*).

The movie world has not been spared in this eradication of intellect, and could honestly be considered one of its greatest forerunners. Even the whimsical insults of eras past have been all but forgotten in favor of the base-level “sick burns” churned up by today’s creatively-bankrupt minds.

“His mother should have thrown him out and kept the stork.” — Mae West, 1934

“It tastes like fuckin’ dick infused with balls.” — Adam Sandler, 2013

To loosely quote Not Sure, there was a time long ago when screenplays were penned with the writer’s blood, sweat, and tears, not hastily scribbled onto a cocktail napkin amidst a three-day coke binge with Michael Bay. But times have changed. Can you imagine how some of the most iconic lines in film history would sound if they were written today? Gee, I wonder…

10 — “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.” 

Modern equivalent: “I got 99 problems but this bitch ain’t one.”

9 — “Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.”

Modern equivalent: “Life’s like a bowl of ‘sketti and butter, so go tell Sugar Bear it’s done.” (*farts*)

8 — “A boy’s best friend is his mother.

Modern Equivalent: “A boy’s best friend is *your* mother, who I totally put a dent in last night.”

7 — “They’re here.”

Modern Equivalent: “Oh sh*t there’s some ghost-lookin’ muthaf*ckas in the TV screen!”

6 — “Yo, Adrian!”

Modern Equivalent: “Yo, Adrian!” Truly a man ahead of his time, that Stallone.

5 — “If you build it, he will come.”

Modern equivalent: “If you f*ck it, fame will come.”

4 — “A martini. Shaken, not stirred.”

Modern Equivalent: “Gin and juice. Beeeitch.”

3 — “Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”

Modern Equivalent: “I’ve a serious man-crush on you, Lou. No homo.”

2 — “I’m the King of the World!”

Modern Equivalent: “Suck my d*ck, Planet Earth!”

1 — “Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind. “Mankind.” That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can’t be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it’s fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom… Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution… but from annihilation. We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: “We will not go quietly into the night!” We will not vanish without a fight! We’re going to live on! We’re going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!”

Modern Equivalent: “If anyone else wanna kill some aliens, let me hear you say yeah!”

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Alfred Hitchcock Intended ‘Psycho’ To Be A Comedy http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/alfred-hitchcock-intended-psycho-as-a-comedy/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/alfred-hitchcock-intended-psycho-as-a-comedy/#comments Fri, 08 Feb 2013 20:52:27 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=253445 He was just having a goof.

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A recently unearthed BBC interview with Alfred Hitchcock reveals we’ve been watching his horror classic Psycho all wrong. That’s right. The film most well-known for the brutal murder of a young woman at the hands of a carving knife-wielding transvestite was done as a goof.

“The content was, I felt, rather amusing and it was a big joke. I was horrified to find some people took it seriously,” said Hitchcock in 1964.

I think this is just a case of Hitchcock trying to be provocative. There’s no way that Psycho was meant to be received as a comedy, though it is much more funny than Russell Brand. (Daily Mail)

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7 Instances Of Good Directors Choosing Very Bad Sequels And Remakes http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/7-instances-of-good-directors-choosing-very-bad-sequels-and-remakes/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/7-instances-of-good-directors-choosing-very-bad-sequels-and-remakes/#comments Thu, 16 Feb 2012 18:55:41 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=245448 I wanted to put Gus Van Sant's remake of 'Psycho' on here seven times, but my editor wouldn't let me.

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Today it was announced that lauded Lord of the Rings director Peter Jackson would move from producer to director for the next episode of the Tintin franchise with The Adventures of Tintin 2. The first installment, directed by no less than Steven Spielberg, was meet with critical “meh,” and is often cited as proof that, if Spielberg can’t make it work, maybe this mo-cap thing isn’t so hot after all.

Making Jackson’s decision all the more conspicuous is the fact that he’ll be preceding the project with back-to-back Hobbit films. I guess he views Tintin as a vacation, much as we viewed the first one a vacation for Spielberg. Unfortunately, Jackson isn’t alone in tacking his name onto a tired or beaten property, as this list of great directors who tackle bad franchises would indicate.

Read this list, then bite your lip and imagine what they could have done.

Brett Ratner – Red Dragon

Red Dragon, though not a terrible film, seemed like a horrible waste of resources for many involved, mainly due to the tremendous dip in quality from The Silence of the Lambs to its sequel, Hannibal. Red Dragon was prequel to the series, and a remake of Michael Mann’s film Manhunter. Dragon starred Anthony Hopkins, Edward Norton, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Ralph Fiennes and Harvey Keitel. While I would say that the film was didn’t maximize much of the talent involved, its most glaring shortcoming was in the direction by Brett Ratner, who serves as a pretty strong action-comedy director, but can’t seem to steer away from that genre successfully.

So this could prequel/remake was outside of Ratner’s wheelhouse, but even if it wasn’t, we would have probably enjoyed a different Ratner film more, provided it wasn’t Rush Hour 2.5 or something.

Gus Van Sant – Psycho

Gus Van Sant is a fine, fine director, and Psycho is an American classic. It’s for these two reasons that these two things should never have been close enough to touch. Van Sant went whole hog with the “homage” concept and directed the film as a shot-for-shot remake, adding virtually nothing to the story, save for some color and a new cast.

The film probably achieved exactly what Van Sant intended, which is the reason that so many critics and viewers alike were wondering what the purpose of this whole exercise was.

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Like Us On Twitter! http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/like-us-on-twitter/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/like-us-on-twitter/#comments Mon, 09 Jan 2012 17:10:01 +0000 Screen Junkies http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=242006

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9 Cross-Dressing Comedies That Are Probably Better Than Jack & Jill http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/9-cross-dressing-comedies-that-are-probably-better-than-jack-jill/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/9-cross-dressing-comedies-that-are-probably-better-than-jack-jill/#comments Fri, 11 Nov 2011 14:00:21 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=235512 We didn't say they were good. Just better.

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Earlier this week, as we attempted to find cross-dressing comedies that were probably worse than Adam Sandler’s Jack & Jill, we discovered there is a suprising amount of really great cross-dressing films. Looks like Sandler really has his work cut out for him if he wants to go down in history alongside these classics (listed below in no particular order). Otherwise, he’ll end up etched into history alongside White Chicks.

Ed Wood

Tim Burton‘s homage to the classically shitty director stars Johnny Depp in the title role. The film centers on Wood as he struggles to get his work made, be true to himself and his cross dressing, and his friendship with Bela Lugosi. I can only hope that twenty years from now, Tommy Wiseau‘s biopic is handled with the same class, wit, and decorum.

Just One of the Guys

What do you do when you lose the chance at a highly-coveted internship? Well, you automatically assume the world has it out for you because you’re so pretty and therefore disguise yourself as a member of the opposite sex and resubmit. What do you do when that doesn’t work? Assume the world has it out for you because your new Jo Calderone persona is so beloved, and disguise yourself in a gorilla outfit and resubmit.

Sidenote: Check out the picture above. Sucks to be Doris.

Shakespeare In Love

Way back in 1800 BC England, women weren’t allowed to act on the stage. The only way to do so was through the deceptive practice of disguising themselves unconvincingly as a man and strutting around with a sock in their pants. That’s exactly what Gwyneth Paltrow does in Shakespeare in Love. I think it’s also what Chris Colfer does on Glee.

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9 Characters Creepier Than Buffalo Bill From ‘Silence Of The Lambs’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/9-characters-creepier-than-buffalo-bill-from-silence-of-the-lambs/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/9-characters-creepier-than-buffalo-bill-from-silence-of-the-lambs/#comments Tue, 13 Sep 2011 13:35:19 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=228061 "Was she a great big fat person?

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When it comes to creepy characters in cinema, The Silence of the LambsBuffalo Bill, a.k.a “Jame Gumb,” is the gold standard against which all others are held. However, this is owed more to ubiquity than it is merit. It makes sense that he’s used as such; Silence swept the Oscars and quickly became a pop culture touch point.

However, skinning fat girls doesn’t earn the title of “Creepiest Man in Film.” For that title, I propose these nine gentleman who make Buffalo Bill seem like a Girl Scout.

That was hyperbolic. Buffalo Bill is still a really bad guy.

9. Dr. Frederick Chilton – The Silence of the Lambs

We didn’t have to go very far from the benchmark to get one entry on this list. While Buffalo Bill is by no means a charmer, his crazy, flesh suit-wearing ways are a sublime delight when held up to the head of the psychiatric “hospital,” Dr. Chilton. His smugness and sleazy demeanor cause the viewer to half-expect hair gel to start oozing out of his pores.

Remarkably, Hannibal Lecter was able to look past all his shortcomings and “have him for dinner.”

Oh. I just got that. That’s funny.

8. Norman Bates – Psycho

The title of the film says it all. This guy wears one face to the world, and another one in the confines of the Bates Motel. Like Buffalo Bill, this dude is straight-up crazy. Beyond the standard killing (which wouldn’t get you on this list). In terms of creepy actions, this guy takes the cake with conversing and keeping his mother’s decomposing corpse as a companion.

7. Sean Nokes – Sleepers

While the above gentlemen are creepier on a social level, Sean Nokes (Kevin Bacon’s character from Sleepers) is creepier on more of a “molests little boys and tortures them” level, which is one hell of a level. With the other guards at the juvenile detention center, he raped many of the boys, apparently unrepentant years after the fact.

Coupled with his appearance (which can best be described as “greasy as shit”) when confronted by one of the grown-up boys, he’s working creepy on two very palatable levels. I hope he enjoyed his dinner that night. It was his last.

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If Movie Hotels Were Reviewed On Trip Advisor http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/if-movie-hotels-were-reviewed-on-trip-advisor/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/if-movie-hotels-were-reviewed-on-trip-advisor/#comments Thu, 01 Sep 2011 19:11:59 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=226714 Reel hotels. Real reviews.

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When traveling to a new place, it’s important to know what you’re getting into, especially when it comes to hotels. Is it quiet? Can you get a late check-out? Is it clean? Will the staff hold you prisoner with the intention of making you star in a snuff film? Those are just a few of the important questions you need answered before hitting the road.

Thanks to online consumer reviews on sites like Trip Advisor, we now know what to expect when traveling to fictional locations from popular movies.

The Dolphin Hotel, 1408

Overlook Hotel, The Shining

The Days Inn of Hillsboro, Bottle Rocket



Click ‘Next Page For More Reviews

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Alfred Hitchcock’s Thrilling Life To Be Made Into A Movie http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/alfred-hitchcocks-thrilling-life-to-be-made-into-a-movie/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/alfred-hitchcocks-thrilling-life-to-be-made-into-a-movie/#comments Thu, 20 Jan 2011 17:04:10 +0000 Joseph Gibson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=20916 A Hitchcock biopic has been a temptation in Hollywood for so many years, and is now being put into development by Anvil! The Story of Anvil director Sacha Gervasi.

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Alfred Hitchcock is one of the most popular figures in movies despite having been dead for 3 decades. He remains one of the only directors the name of who actually means something to the average consumer — that’s why you see his name and image above the title on his DVD releases, for instance. This phenomenon isn’t merely attributable to the fact that he made great thrillers– after all, lots of people have made great movies over the years, and none of them have achieved the level of stardom Hitchcock had in his prime. The reason for this is that in addition to being a great director, he also had a great personality. He put himself in front of the camera whenever possible and let his sense of humor and charisma carry him into the hearts of America. This is probably why a Hitchcock biopic has been a temptation in Hollywood for so many years, and is now being put into development by Anvil! The Story of Anvil director Sacha Gervasi.

The movie is set to be about the period of Hitch’s life during which he made his most popular film, Psycho. You know who looks a lot like Anthony Perkins, the star of Psycho? Andrew Garfield. And it will take Spider-Man to make Alfred Hitchcock‘s boring off-screen life seem interesting. (via SlashFilm)

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