Now that some time has passed and we’ve had a chance to look back, we’d like to pick the fresh scab on 2012 and crown its best and worst moments. Thus, the Screen Junkies Awards!

Today we’re taking a look at the best movie trailers of 2012. These are the previews that either thrilled us, shocked us, made us laugh, or weren’t the trailer for <em>Battleship</em>. The quality of these movies are up for debate, but their trailers are awesome and no one can take that away. Except for us if we decide to subject them to the Honest Trailers treatment.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

Sometimes a so-so film yields a great trailer. I’m sorry to say that in this case. I wanted Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter to be the best, most over-the-top, kick ass movie experience but the movie itself fell a little bit short. Then again, how can a film possibly live up to a trailer this good? Dude houses that tree!

Man Of Steel

Whether it’s a bird or a plane or a man, it’s safe to say that there’s a lot up in the air with Man Of Steel. We all want it to be great and if this trailer is any indication, it will be. Warner Bros just announced that if Man Of Steel is well-received, they’ll move forward with plans for the oft-delayed Justice League. No pressure, Zack Snyder. Stick to the basics — super-powered guys beating the tar out of each other in ridiculously unexpected and elaborate ways.

Pacific Rim

The morning that the trailer for Guillermo Del Toro’s Pacific Rim premiered, an audible “F*CK YEAH!!!” could be heard across the land. That was the sound made when thousands viewed gigantic robots using elbow rocket boosters to better punch enormous monsters in the face. Take that, Apocalypse!

Prometheus

It’s an AMAZING trailer. I STILL want to see the movie that it’s advertising.

Iron Man 3

When the trailer for the Shane Black-directed Iron Man 3 premiered, I pointed out that it looks awesome but also suspiciously like Lethal Weapon 2. The sequel seems to center around a wise-cracking hero struggling to protect his loved ones who also has his sweet, oceanfront home destroyed by a foreign enemy before being thrown to the bottom of the ocean. If only they got Joe Pesci in the film. He could replace Coulson.

Ted

Seth MacFarlane‘s transition to the big screen was a humongous success thanks mostly to this red band trailer. We always knew that Family Guy would be funnier with cursing. Awesomely harsh and abrasive New England-style cursing.

Star Trek Into Darkness

This trailer does its job and does it well. That job being to make everyone want to see the movie without revealing too much about the movie. Seriously, though. What the Hell is this movie about?

 The people have spoken and their voices were heard. And thus, we did something really nerdy with Prometheus footage. But mostly because we’re still pissed about Lost!

On June 18th, a man attended a screening of the film only to have a major plot point revealed by a Regal employee before he entered the theater. Spoilers ahead so if you want to see the film with fresh eyes, don’t read any further or visit the Regal Cinemas Thornton Place Stadium 14.

“I have to warn you: halfway through the movie, the main female character will perform a self-induced abortion,” said the ticket-ripper while welcoming the customer to Regal. 

After asking around, the man discovered the employee had been warning all viewers. Pissed off, he confronted the theater manager, and said he was mad about both the spoiler and also what he perceived as a political agenda. After then complaining to corporate, he was sent two free tickets. However, “no explanation was given as to why this had happened,” so the man sent back the tickets.

Yes, spoilers suck but I think warning the viewer is a good idea. All offensive films should be spoiled from now on. Like so, “I have to warn you: the main female character is played by Tyler Perry.”

These are the kinds of things we deserve to know! (The Stranger)

Attack the Block

If you’re an alien species looking to get your freak on in an interstellar mating ritual, you can pick a better place to bump uglies than a South London council estate. For one, the residents there might have a strong violent reaction to the sight of an outer space beast. Secondly, have you ever heard of a little something called romance?

Independence Day

Independence Day is probably the worst case of alien first contact going awry. The story begins with alien spacecrafts positioning themselves over key locations across the globe. Places like the Empire State Building, the U.S. Bank Tower, the White House. Before long, the alien visitors are wiping these places off the map with powerful lasers. They even destroyed the Capitol Records building (perhaps as a means of retaliation against Duran Duran). Luckily for Earth, President Bill Pullman escaped the onslaught and teamed up with a ragtag group of survivors to overthrow our attackers. Day saved but definitely a bad first impression.

Contact

Not a disaster in the sense that a bunch of people died horribly, more of a disaster in that it left the audience dissatisfied. When it was announced that the man who brought us the Back to the Future series, Who Framed Roger Rabbit?; and Forrest Gump was tackling a film about contact with aliens, everyone was pretty excited. Amplifying that excitement was the production’s refusal to reveal advance images of the alien. But in the end it turned out to just look like David Morse, who we were pretty used to seeing at that point. Minds not blown.

Fire in the Sky

Humanity itself wasn’t threatened in this science fiction horror film based on true events, but abducting a man and probing him isn’t exactly a meet-cute. On average, it’s incredibly rare that people are unable to keep down mild foods after meeting one another for the first time. Yes, it sometimes does happen but so, so rare.

The Day the Earth Stood Still

The Day the Earth Stood Still is a perfect example of the blame falling on us. The plot begins when an alien ambassador lands in Washington on a goodwill mission. When he produces a device, he is shot by a nervous soldier. This causes his robot sentry Gort to unleash a weapon of his own that disintegrates all in it’s path. Seriously. Our bad. We don’t even really know that soldier very well.

Flight of the Navigator

Considering it’s PG-rated, Flight of the Navigator doesn’t feature cities burning or organs being harvested. However, that’s not to say it’s a smooth example of alien first contact. For starters, the main character is a twelve-year old boy abducted from his home in 1978 and transplanted to 1986. Generally it’s a bad idea to kidnap an Earth child when trying to ingratiate oneself to our planet. That’s just a rule of thumb that aliens might want to consider following.

Close Encounters of the Third Kind

Again with the kid-snatching! Not cool.

Mars Attacks!

Criminally ignored by movie-goers, Tim Burton’s Mars Attacks! is a masterpiece. When Martians send a message to the citizens of Earth that they are planning to visit our planet, and idealistic flock gathers to meet them. Only to be massacred by their superior weaponry. The Martian Ambassador then apologizes for the incident, citing that it was just a case of culture clash. The Martians are then re-invited to make first contact, this time with Congress. Who they also massacre with their superior weaponry. Turns out the Martians had no hope for peace or motive to their attacks. They’re just dicks.

Kinda intense for a dating profile, but I’d still go out with her.

Ridley Scott’s Prometheus, a film that is sort of an Alien prequel, but if you say that, people will judge you for some reason, has officially been bestowed upon it an “R” rating. And you know what that means…

We’ll almost certainly be catching another glimpse of Michael Fassbender‘s penis. Hello, old friend.

Prometheus was given the rating due to “sci-fi violence including some intense images, and brief language.” I’m pretty sure you can substitute “British genitals” for “intense images” to see what they’re really getting at.

In all seriousness, it’s great to see a movie stick to the screenwriters‘ original intent and not water down content for broader distribution. Further, it will be nice to see a smart, violent film along the lines of Alien and Terminator, rather than fare that tends to fall on one side of the line or the other.

It also helps that focus groups showed that children were unable to even pronounce “Prometheus” when ordering tickets at the box office. They were all “Promeefus.” It was adorable.

This is a perfect example of how to market a film without spoiling it. The amount of production value used here is a turning point in the evolution of viral promotions. It’s slick and attention-grabbing and strong enough to draw the audience into the theater. I’m sure we’ll see this campaign’s influences in future viral marketing plans. Let’s take a look now at the viral videos that lead us up to this point.

Prometheus

In this second viral video, we’re introduced to Michael Fassbender’s David. Here David speaks about himself and what it’s like to be a robot created by Weyland Industries. There’s been a lot of speculation online that Fassbender would play an android in the film given his cherubic, blonde appearance. And now that cat’s out of the bag. Which teaches me to run up to the blondest person I see and check their fingerprints. Robots could be dwelling amongst us and we wouldn’t even know it.

Watchmen

This Watchmen viral video introduces the world to Dr. Manhattan by reviewing his origin and the innovations the supreme being brought to the fields of science, technology, renewable energy, and space exploration. However, he wasn’t able to convert atoms to do anything about that newscasters jacket. Even gods have their limits.

With this tease, directed by Luke Scott, we jump ahead thirteen years into the future for TED2023. Here, Pearce slimes it up as Peter Weyland while discussing his interest in changing the world. It’s a short bit that won’t appear in the actual film, but still a pretty cool nod to the world we currently inhabit. Gives me the impression that if anyone is going to stumble across alien xenomorphs, it would be a wealthy British entreprenuar. Richard Branson, I’m looking at you.

If anything, this international trailer for Ridley Scott’s maybe Alien prequel gives us a hint of the scope of this film. The large set pieces that build both the crew’s world and the alien civilization look massive and if we could figure out what the hell is going on here I’d bet we’re in for another tremendous science fiction film from Scott. Still feel bad that this bunch is being tortured, though. Then again, they’re all rather pretty and probably got unfair advantages at astronaut school. Maybe had they studied more, they wouldn’t have melted faces now. (via Twitch)

At any rate, this trailer looks so bad ass that I’m willing to accept the apology. All is forgiven, Prometheus PR people. Let the healing begin.

Explain yourself, Ridley Scott.

“By the end of the third act you start to realize there’s a DNA of the very first alien, but none of the subsequent aliens. To tell you what that is is a pity, and I’m not going to tell you, because it’s actually pretty good, pretty organic to the process and to the original. But we go back, we don’t go forward.”

Scott also acknowledges that the Space Jockey from the original will be involved. Also, why the hell didn’t anyone notice or ask any questions about the giant corpse?

“Yeah, so there you have that. I was always amazed that, I mean, I’ve only done two science-fictions, but I was always amazed that no one asked who the hell the Space Jockey was. He wasn’t even called the Space Jockey. During the film they started to call it the Space Jockey. I don’t know who started that one off. I always thought it was amazing that no one ever asked who he was, and why was he there? What was all that about? I sat thinking about this for a while and thought, well, there’s a story! And the other four [films] missed it! So, here it is.”

And yes, H.R. Giger will be in da house.

“I brought him in, I showed him what we were doing, showed him the story and he liked it a lot” said Scott. “So he’s doing a little bit of work for me. He’s been doing some murals, big murals, which we’ll see in almost one of the first chambers we encounter when we land where we’re gonna go.”

And can we expect to see the alien itself devouring the cast?

“No. Absolutely not,” states Scott before joking, “They squeezed it dry. He (the xenomorph) did very well. (He laughs) He survived, he’s now in Disneyland in Orlando, and no way am I going back there. How did he end up in Disneyland? I saw him in Disneyland, Jesus Christ!”

I don’t know, but xenomorphs rampaging through Disneyland would make an awesome movie. (Filmophilia)

Not everyone was happy to see the early footage though, including 20th Century Fox chairman Tom Rothman. Rothman told the press that the leak was “heartbreakingly unfair” to the finished product. We’re not sure why he’s worried. Most people are smart enough to understand that a grainy bootleg doesn’t represent what a finished film will look like, and if anything the hype generated by the trailer has boosted the film’s profile. Still, we appreciate his concern for the integrity of all of Fox’s cinematic art, especially since the last several years have taken a hammer to that sterling reputation. Here are nine Fox studios moments we found a bit more heartbreaking than the Prometheus trailer.

The Day the Earth Stood Still Gets Remade

The original The Day the Earth Stood Still is a sci-fi classic that has aged beautifully. The story, dealing with an alien race that has come to wipe out humanity before we can harm other planets with Nuclear weapons, has an anti-war message as relevant now as it was sixty years ago. Naturally, Fox decided to remake the film, only this time leaving out the strong characterization or storytelling. When a Keanu Reeves performance is only the 4th worst thing about your film, you know you have a problem. Instead of just promoting a gem of its back catalogue with a nice new DVD release, Fox forced out this turd of a remake, which not only tanked at the box office, but will likely harm the original’s reputation in the memories of future generations of film fans.

Avatar… in 3-D!

Avatar was a fine film. Its massive success has generated some backlash, and it certainly isn’t perfect, but it’s an entertaining, watchable movie, if maybe a bit too long. None of this is heartbreaking. What is heartbreaking is that it was released in 3-D… and became the highest grossing film ever. This has inspired every studio, especially Fox, to churn it out their new action films in 3-D, whether they were filmed with that in mind or not. This may grab the studios a few extra bucks per ticket in the short term, but it is turning away film goers who either get headaches from 3-D effects or are tired of paying extra for an effect they don’t want. James Cameron made 3-D an essential part of Avatar, and he labored for years to make sure every shot was gorgeous. For most of the rest however, its a cheap gimmick that is fun for a few minutes and quickly becomes annoying.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine is Leaked- In Its Entirety

As stressed out as they are over a leaked trailer, imagine how pissed off Fox was in 2009 when Wolverine was released on the net, in it’s entirety. Fox tried to spin it as an early work print with unfinished special effects, but there were few noticeable differences in the finished film. Worst of all, fans who were honest and paid to see Wolverine were rewarded with two hours of incomprehensible garbage that nearly sunk the X-Men franchise. As if Fox hadn’t already killed enough good will with X-Men: The Last Stand, three years earlier. It all worked out in the end, however, as the recent X-Men: First Class has righted the ship, and Fox has no doubt upped their security to keep such leaks from happening again. Except when it comes to bootlegged trailers.

The images prove that the news about casting Idris Elba, Michael Fassbender, and Charlize Theron weren’t dirty lies after all. I knew it!

These pics really don’t lend themselves to commentary, but it would appear that Ridley Scott’s Alien sort-of prequel has some ancient alien heads, nifty uniforms and spacesuits, and an extremely pixelated spaceship (though that could just be the scan quality).

Draw your own conclusions from these, or conservatively wait to pass judgment until you get more information. Sorry if that sounded judge-y. I seriously don’t care what you do.

So Damon Lindelof was hired to adapt the prequel screenplay into the new movie Prometheus. Lindelof and Prometheus star Charlize Theron came to Comic-Con to tease a little about their new movie. I got some alone time with Lindelof to dig for remaining Alien references in Prometheus, and confirm that the explanations I thought the final season of Lost revealed really were the answers.

Q: It’s exciting that the Alien prequel turned into an original story. Will there still be some nice details for the Alien fans to get out of Prometheus?

DL: When I was younger and I first saw Alien and Blade Runner, I had it in my head that one of them was a sequel to the other. I didn’t know exactly which came first but clearly Ash is a robot so I just always figured Earth is having this issue with these blade runners and these replicants, but meanwhile the Nostromo was off having this adventure on LV-426 so I just grouped them together. I didn’t realize until about three or four years later, those movies aren’t related to each other in any way. They were just both directed by the same guy. So that’s the way that I really think of Prometheus. This movie is going to be in the same lexicon of the Ridley Scott science fiction ouvre. You could hold it up next to Blade Runner or Alien. It’s almost a mash-up in terms of the fundamental ideas presented in both but for fans of either of those movies, there are going to be all sorts of Easter eggs, for lack of a better word, that synchronize it in that world of the Ridley Scott science fiction ouvre.

Q: Maybe a mention of Weyland-Yutani?

DL: I don’t want to comment directly on that. I’m going to be overly protective of that kind of stuff.

Q: Is it still a good old-fashioned spaceship movie?

6 photosCharlize Theron

Q: Actually I was thinking Alien where people live on a spaceship for two hours.

DL: I do think that this movie will evoke the movie that you’re describing, although it doesn’t spend as much time on the ship as Alien does.

Q: What fun can a guy like you have in that canvas?

DL: An incredible amount of fun. What actually happened is this guy named John Spates actually wrote a really good Alien prequel script and when it was presented to me, it was presented with the caveat of is there a way to make this have nothing to do with Alien? Can it be its own original movie? For me it was really just a matter of taking the stuff that was the subtext of that draft and making it the text of a new, original movie and moving the stuff that were the tropes of the Alien movies – awesome tropes by the way, face huggers, chest busters, xenomorphs – and moving that kind of stuff way down below. If you were going to it and wanting a taste of that it would be there but that’s not what it’s about because the audience has already experienced all those things. Not just in the original Alien or Aliens but Alien 3 and Alien Resurrection and Alien Vs. Predator so it’s gotten to the point now where something bursting out of somebody’s chest or sticking to their face isn’t new and exciting anymore. That idea is 30 years old. So how could we infuse this movie with new ideas that made it feel original and at the same time pay homage to the fact that we’re building it on the foundation of that earlier movie.

Q: Does it rule out doing an actual Alien prequel?

DL: No, I don’t think it does. I think that there might actually be people out there who watch Prometheus and say, “This is an Alien prequel” but it’s a prequel in sort of a different sense than I’m used to. Isn’t it more interesting to think of a movie that takes place in the Alien universe, there are some familiar things that you will see along the way but if there were a sequel to Prometheus, it would not be Alien. That to me had to be the goal. God willing, if Prometheus is successful, and there is a sequel, it won’t be Alien because the end of this movie, if this movie is A to Z, Z is not there’s a bunch of eggs laying on the floor of LV-426. Z in this movie is entirely different although people will watch this movie and say, “I feel like I have a different contextual framework now for the original Alien, I’m going to watch it again. I feel like I know a little bit more than I knew before.”

Q: Was one of the frustrations of dealing with the end of loss that you would say, “Okay, the island is the source of all life” and people would still say, “No really, what is the island?”

DL: Yeah, you sort of get into this dance with the audience where ultimately I think we realized that people had theories that were better than what the show gave them in their heads, and in some cases might have been better than what the show gave them. They didn’t want to be told that their theories were wrong. Once we started moving out of question mode and into answer mode, people would get more and more angry at the show because the show moved into a modality where it was essentially saying, “You know all the countless hours that you’ve spent thinking about the show and coming up with ingenious and brilliant theories for what the answers to some of these mysteries might be? Well, now we’re going to tell you that you’re wrong for the next three years.” I completely and totally get that frustration because as a fanboy, I experience it myself.

Q: But you’re missing the fun if you don’t go with that.

DL: Totally and I’ll take that. There was a point in my life where it was upsetting and frustrating but I’ve now reached a point where I’m enormously grateful for it because people engaged with the show on that intense of a level. It’s like if you’re going to be really angry, I’ll take that over couldn’t care less.

Q: I see them bringing in the next reporter but as they give me the wrap up, are you putting pen to paper for Star Trek 2 yet?

DL: Fingers to keyboard.

Q: But are actual script pages getting written?

DL: It is definitely starting, continuing.

I will never work without 3D again, even for small dialogue scenes.

Say whaaaaaaaat, Ridley? Can it be? Is an auteur such as him falling head over heels in love with 3D now? The director elaborated:

3D has been a wonderful exercise but I was brought up as a camera operator so its really about lensing and all that kind of stuff. So with the help I’ve had from a wonderful cameraman and his technical team its been, for me, a pretty straight forward ride. That said I’ll never work without 3D again, even for small dialogue scenes. I love the whole process. 3D opens up the universe of even a small dialogue scene so I’ve been very impressed with that.

I get a former camera operator such as himself falling in love with the whole depth thing, but c’mon, aren’t we all getting tired of wearing those clunky glasses for two straight hours? What do you guys think? Maybe it’s time we accept that 3D is here to stay.

6 photosCharlize Theron

Visionary filmmaker Ridley Scott returns to the genre he helped define, creating an original science fiction epic set in the most dangerous corners of the universe. The film takes a team of scientists and explorers on a thrilling journey that will test their physical and mental limits and strand them on a distant world, where they will discover the answers to our most profound questions and to life’s ultimate mystery.

(Collider)

Lindelof has now shared his side of the events and whether or not Prometheus has ties to the Alien films.

It started as an Alien prequel. That is what everybody wanted it to be. Obviously, Ridley Scott has not made a science fiction movie in 25 years, since Blade Runner, so the idea that he’s returning to this genre is huge. But there is a real issue which is — what is the state of the Alien franchise at this point in our lives? There has been Alien vs. Predator and all these things, and its been completely and totally diluted. I’ve always felt that really good prequels should be original movies. And the sequels to those prequels should not be the movie which already exists because, with all due respect to anyone who makes a prequel, but why would you ruin the greatest twist in the history of cinema, “Luke, I am your father”, by showing me three movies which basically spoil that surprise. You can do movies which take place before Star Wars, but I don’t need to see the story of the Skywalker clan. Show me something else which I can’t guess the possible outcome of. There is no suspense in inevitability. So a true prequel should essentially proceed the events of the original film, but be about something entirely different, feature different characters , have an entirely different theme, although it takes place in that same world. That was my fundamental feeling about what this movie wanted to be.”

We shouldn’t expect Predator to show up (until the second sequel at least). Lindelof also talks about how his contributions impacted the material.

“And truth be told, it wasn’t script doctoring in the strictest sense because the draft that existed before I came on was written by this guy named Jon Spaihts and it was very good. And there were a lot of things in the movie, Prometheus, which were Jon Spaihts and I feel like somewhere in the media reconstruction of this story, the tale is that I come in, I pitch an entirely new story, and its so original that everything else gets thrown out and that’s what we’re doing. In my brain, that’s not exactly what happened. But I also do feel that this movie is the movie I would want to see as a fanboy, take place in that Alien universe, which precedes the events of the original Alien, but is not necessarily burdened by all the tropes of that franchise with Facehuggers and Chestbursters, and all that stuff that I love…but its sorta like, we’ve seen it before, can we do something different this time? And thats the movie that Ridley wanted to make. And when you’re working with an auteur, you basically just shut your mouth and listen and try to transcribe and channel the vision of that person, and get out of the way.”

So it was Ridley Scott who pushed the story into more original territory. That’s cool. I just still hope that something eats people in it. (via Collider)

He’ll be joining Noomi Rapace, Michael Fassbender, Charlize Theron, Idris Elba, Rafe Spall, Sean Harris, Kate Dickie, and Logan Marshall-Green. No idea why Cillian Murphy isn’t also a part of this project. Maybe his voice-mailbox was full when they called. (The Playlist)

Of course, Marshall-Green is just the latest name in a long list of announced cast members that includes: Michael Fassbender, Charlize Theron, Idris Elba, Sean Harris, and Kate Dickie. Since the plot has yet to be divulged, the outstanding roles ar unknown, but light a candle in the hope that Ridley Scott has a spot reserved for Betty White. She’s just the best. (Deadline)

In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, when asked whether or not he was playing a tin man, Fassbender said, ”I don’t know what I can say!” Then he reportedly nodded in the affirmative. Or maybe I should say, “a-firm-a-tive.” (Please imagine that being said in an android voice.)

However, that’s not all. Fassbender confirmed the wisdom of internet rumor droids by stating the following about the connections between Alien and Prometheus:

“[Prometheus is] a different story, but it’s also got the traditional roots. Alien fans will recognize things in it. It’s not ignoring Alien, there’s still a link to that world. But it’s a different story. It’s definitely connected, though.”

So there is a connection. Does that mean Prometheus will also connect with the unreleased, Japanese 8-bit Aliens NES game? I can only speculate about it and hope an actor confirms, potentially blowing his non-disclosure agreement. (ComingSoon)

Apparently this isn’t your run-of-the-mill casting either, since all 3 actors had to sign secrecy agreements and were only allowed to read the story for the movie by visiting Ridley Scott’s office (maybe Ridley Scott is just a big pervert?). While this level of secrecy means no word on what characters they’ll be playing, it’s also leading some to speculate that the movie we know as Prometheus might actually be an offical Alien movie after all, and this is all just smokescreen designed to keep us off-guard. We’ll just have to wait and see just how much “Alien DNA” will be in Prometheus. (via Collider)

These reports are based on rumors from “reliable” sources, so don’t go hopping aboard the Nostromo just yet. What I’m hearing is that these are Xenomorphs, just in a different form than we’re used to:

Remember how the alien took on canine qualities after gestating in a dog? You may even suppose that the first film’s alien was so recognisably humanoid because it had grown in a human. The same applies here: generation by generation, the creature mutates. As Prometheus begins, the xenomorph is not too recognisable. Sure, it has that alien DNA that Scott and Fassbender teasingly referred to, but it’s missing… well, it’s missing human DNA. Or dog DNA.

All you have to do is imagine how it might look if it were to mix DNA with another alien species… and I think we’re starting to work it all out.

This strikes me as a very 2009 Star Trek-ish workaround for including Prometheus in the Alien universe without having to deal much at all with established continuity. These aliens will look like anybody they’re grown inside, which could be tentacled octo-monsters, Cloverfields or mutant turtles, and the film may take place on the other side of the same galaxy as Ripley and friends. Problem solved.

Oh, and the title might not be Prometheus at all. Based on this info, may I humbly suggest, Quasi-Alien: The Porcupine-Aliens Strike. (/Film, Bleeding Cool)

The actor has accepted a lead role in the Brad Pitt film Cogan’s Trade, directed by Andrew Dominik (The Assassination of Jesse James By The– Yadda Yadda Yadda). However, as if that weren’t enough, he’s been offered lead roles in Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter and Ridley Scott’s I-Can’t-Believe-It’s-Not-Alien movie Prometheus. Forget scoot-ing, this guy will have to sprint from set-to-set with a calendar that chock full o’ tentpoles.

Someone once talked me out of changing my name to “Shoo McFloozy.” Now I’m wondering if the courts are still open. (Deadline)

Prometheus

Theron built a name for herself in the realm of science fiction with the little-ballyhooed Aeon Flux which came out in 2005, though it feels like over a decade ago. She will join the already-announced Michael Fassbender and Noomi Rapace in the epic sci-fi project that we still know very little about. It in unknown if Theron’s participation will render moot the rumors that Angelina Jolie was circling the project, as it’s unknown if they were after the same part. Having both in the same film would really put to the test an audiences tolerance for cheekbone definition, so perhaps Jolie’s exclusion would serve as a blessing.

This will be the second sci-fi adventure for the duo, who had earlier teamed up for World War Robot (also a space adventure), a graphic novel adaptation that portrays ”a small band of humans and robots facing off in a battle on Earth, the moon and Mars.” Best of luck to the poor bastards who are part of the production design team on that one.

While no specifics were mentioned, expect the film to convey the understated elegance and quiet dignity that Bruckheimer and alien adventure films are known for. (Variety)

Prometheus will hit theaters March 9, 2012. Don’t start spazzing out until at least late January. (THR)

Prometheus will star Noomi Rapace and the script will be by Damon Lindelof and Ridley Scott. (via The Hollywood Reporter)

The promising-looking J. Edgar also stars Leonardo DiCaprio, Ed Westwick and Ken Howard, but let’s be real here. None of those actors have boobs (that I’m aware of, at least), and none of them have simulated lesbian sex on film (unless Westwick was in a weird student film or something). That’s where Academy Award nominated Naomi Watts comes in. She’ll offer a nuanced, yet emotional take on J. Edgar Hoover’s loyal secretary, and a willingness to put those lovely boobs in front of a camera. Awesome.

Charlize Theron was rumored to be the front runner for the role, but hopefully she’ll be flashing her boobs to aliens in Prometheus, the new almost-Aliens movie by Ridley Scott. (Deadline)

In order to make room for John Carter of Mars, the Mouse has moved their original offering that weekend, Tim Burton’s Frankenweenie, to October 5th, 2012. October dates always seem like a good fit for Burton’s fare, but the move was more likely made as he prepares to shoot Dark Shadows next. Plus, Helena Bonham Carter and Johnny Depp have lives too, so maybe they asked Timmy to space that shit out. Frankenweenie is an animated feature-length adaptation of a short Burton did a number of years back, so while it may not be a blockbuster, it will probably appeal to Americans who have gotten to know and love Burton’s recent watered-down type of creepy.