Geez, take it down a notch.
Somehow Mike White has emerged as the lead contender to direct hot project Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, according to the LA Times. The very white writer of School of Rock and Orange County, and director of Year of the Dog, has climbed up the legs and arms and faces of more appropriate candidates Mike Newell, David Slade, Neil Marshall, Jonathan Demme, and Matt Reeves to get the studio's approving wink.
White would bring his comedic chops to the project, but he doesn't have the special effects chops to create decayed zombie chops. Mike Newell, the guy behind the Harry Potter movies, could definitely take care of the effects, but his family sensibilities might make the horror elements suffer. Can someone just get Sam Raimi on the line already? He could shoot this thing in his sleep. 

The director's chair left vacant by David O. Russell on Pride And Prejudice And Zombies is being retro-fitted for a few more asses. Jonathan Demme, Matt Reeves, the Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs guys, and Mike White joined previously announced asses David Slade, Neil Marshall, and Mike Newell for a shot at plunking down for some on-set bad back support.
As with everything nowadays, the casting list is also uncertain now that Natalie Portman has walked from the starring role. Bradley Cooper, Scarlett Johansson, Mia Wasoshoushawkasa, Tilda Swinton, and Catherine O'Hara are all rumored for the project. It's impressive that so many big names (and Mike White) are interested in the project. I'm sure it will end up in good hands (or Mike White's). (The Wrap)

"Back off, zombies!"
David O. Russell is removing himself from Pride and Prejudice and Zombies in favor of working with another constantly hungry creature — Vince Vaughn. Natalie Portman couldn't work out her schedule to align with O. Russell's, and now he needs to hop on Old St. Louis.
But it looks like she won't be the only starlet who won't have the opportunity to be berated by the nutbar director. Scarlett Johansson had to drop out of Old St. Louis due to her own scheduling conflicts. We'll keep you posted when the search for a new Pride and Prejudice and Zombies director begins, but we feel that the gig should go to Troma's Lloyd Kaufman. He pretty much invented and mastered that genre as it is. (NY Mag)

Earlier reports that Pride and Prejudice and Zombies would be a television miniseries seem to be nullified today. Variety reports that Natalie Portman is teaming up with Richard Kelly and Lionsgate to bring the project to the big screen. No word yet on when filming will begin. Portman is currently busy having angry sex with Mila Kunis in The Black Swan and then she has Kenneth Branagh's Thor after that.  According to Variety:Portman will play feisty heroine Elizabeth Bennet, who is distracted from her quest to eradicate the zombie menace by the arrival of the arrogant Mr. Darcy. Is this some kind of trick? Throwing zombies into classic literature so that I'll see it and maybe learn something?? Not gonna happen. **swigs from gasoline can** (Variety)

Jane Austen's regency classic Pride and Prejudice got an undead facelift last year with the remixed novelization Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. The book's Twitter feed announced today that the tale is being adapted for the small screen as a six-part miniseries. No word yet on which network it will air, or on casting for that matter. Though I'd like to nominate Kiera Knightley. She's got the experience of playing Elizabeth Bennet and the physique of a zombie. Basically any role in this thing is hers for the taking. (via io9)